anabelneri Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Hello! So I have a 3rd grader who is grumpy. She hates anything that's assigned these days. I feel like I've been dragging her through her classically-oriented academic requirements since Kindergarten and she is getting more and more unhappy as we go along. She's also developing some pre-adolescent attitude, which isn't helping any. But I've been tweaking her schoolwork as we've gone along to fit her needs better, and it doesn't seem to be helping at all. When I get a new book in the mail, she'll be excited about it until she learns that it's "for school", at which point it may as well be a cobra. She's miserable. I'm miserable. I'm thinking about giving us some time down. Has anyone taken a break and been able to come back from it? Has anyone taken a break and discovered in their child a self-starting learner where there wasn't one before? Has any one not taken a break and wish that they had later down the line? Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Ahhh, third grade. I remember that. It was hell. I say go medium. If you need to, get it down to basics but don't budge from there. A third grader is still quite young. Math, some history, a little writing and grammar add science a couple times a week and you are done. I think 3rd grade was the year I forgot to do spelling. The world didn't end and I picked right up at grade level the next year and all was well. Third grade might have also been the year we did almost no science. I did SOTW every week and included the occasional AG activity but didn't make him do any extra reading. I did get through Singapore 3, FLL 3 and WWE2 so go team! It got a whole lot better by 5th grade. Now he is a 6th grader and downright charming. He is so much more capable as well. I think third graders can fool you. They can look all big and talk a good game, but they are little kids inside. Or, some of them are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Is it possibly time for a seasonal break? I looked at everything on DD and my schedule and decided to relax a LOT for the next few weeks. There's just so much going on that we're committed to do, and so much that would be nice to do that is limited-time that something had to give. So we're just doing maybe 30 minutes of math and copywork a day, plus reading aloud at night, and have a nice car-schooling playlist, and are calling it good. Maybe that's what your DD needs now, and will be able to go back to a more involved schedule after the holidays? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybear Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Just a thought here....looking at your curriculum list....Ambleside year 3 might be a bit heavy for an 8 yo. I have found when my dc are miserable or grumpy about school it often points to something which is not really working. I'm doing AO year 3 with my 11 yo. That might be on the older end of things, but I do think 8 is on the younger end. Maybe you both need more than just a break, but a whole shift?? I know I may be overstepping my welcome here, but maybe you could put AO yr 3 on hold till next year and just keep the other stuff. Add in some good stories that you pick and maybe some lighter more fun approach? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaz Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Yes, a break works really well. Can you take a month or two to do crafts, cooking or hobbies? My dd struggled last year. We dropped formal math completely and just played math games. She still moved ahead and picked up a formal math program this year without any problems. I'm so glad I slowed down so we could have more fun together! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmschooling Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 We've totally taken a break for an extended time even in 3rd and 4th grade and that's when I saw the most academic growth in my oldest! It's like she needed time away to let it sink in a process. And she came back stronger than ever, though I steered away from the burn out of strict classical and went to Heart of Dakota, and now we are cruising along and love every bit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 One year, I started out with a bang...and burned us all out by Thanksgiving. What was I thinking?? :glare: So I put the books away at Thanksgiving, which I always did anyway, but I didn't take them out again after Christmas. In fact, I didn't take them out until the following fall. Somewhere around February dds began looking at me out the corners of their eyes, and finally one of them asked if we were going to do school again, and I said no. :-) Both turned out pretty well educated, I have to say. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firestar Academy Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 One year, I started out with a bang...and burned us all out by Thanksgiving. What was I thinking?? :glare: So I put the books away at Thanksgiving, which I always did anyway, but I didn't take them out again after Christmas. In fact, I didn't take them out until the following fall. Somewhere around February dds began looking at me out the corners of their eyes, and finally one of them asked if we were going to do school again, and I said no. :-) Both turned out pretty well educated, I have to say. :D :lol::lol::w00t::001_huh::smilielol5::confused1: robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anabelneri Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 Thank you for the replies! I feel very supported. :grouphug: I've thought about pausing the AO material, but it's actually the part she likes best, and she has no trouble with the level of readings. Our biggest struggles are over math, writing, grammar, spelling, piano... it seems like anything that actually requires some form of output from her (other than a narration, and sometimes those too) are troublesome. One year, I started out with a bang...and burned us all out by Thanksgiving. What was I thinking?? :glare: I really feel like we started Kindergarten out with a bang, and now we're both burned out. This year was dragging before it even began, partly because we moved in the 3rd week (and yes, we took time off for that), partly because her 3.5yo sister becomes, well, difficult when she is bored :glare:, and partly because my volunteer commitments are taking a lot of my energy. But honestly I think we would be hitting this wall at some point this year even without all the extras. I was thinking about waiting until the end of the term to take a break, but after today I think I might just start tomorrow. I'm emotionally exhausted from pulling her through her work. I asked her today what she would do if we didn't have lessons, and her reply was, "read lots and lots and lots of brain candy!" (brain candy = CM's "twaddle") and then she added, "well, probably not only brain candy, but maybe a thick book now and then too, and I'll craft a lot. I want to learn how to sew." I guess that's what might happen next! Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perogi Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Oh, 3rd grade. We're in 3rd for the first time and ay, yi yi! I do find that it's a steep increase this year and my very capable, usually mature and responsible 8yo dd feels like the world is against her because she is always the last one doing school work. Of course she has more work than her 6yo sis and 4yo bro! I've been contemplating how to handle this as well. I don't really want to ease up but I don't want to kill the love either.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 One year, I started out with a bang...and burned us all out by Thanksgiving. What was I thinking?? :glare: So I put the books away at Thanksgiving, which I always did anyway, but I didn't take them out again after Christmas. In fact, I didn't take them out until the following fall. Somewhere around February dds began looking at me out the corners of their eyes, and finally one of them asked if we were going to do school again, and I said no. :-) Both turned out pretty well educated, I have to say. :D :smilielol5:That is awesome!! I'm throwing my vote in for "take an unschooling break". Except for math. You may never stop math. :D Do some artist studies, do some watercolor painting... Nature walks...go to the park... I have to do this every couple of months. We get burned out, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Thank you for the replies! I feel very supported. :grouphug: I've thought about pausing the AO material, but it's actually the part she likes best, and she has no trouble with the level of readings. Our biggest struggles are over math, writing, grammar, spelling, piano... it seems like anything that actually requires some form of output from her (other than a narration, and sometimes those too) are troublesome. I really feel like we started Kindergarten out with a bang, and now we're both burned out. This year was dragging before it even began, partly because we moved in the 3rd week (and yes, we took time off for that), partly because her 3.5yo sister becomes, well, difficult when she is bored :glare:, and partly because my volunteer commitments are taking a lot of my energy. But honestly I think we would be hitting this wall at some point this year even without all the extras. I was thinking about waiting until the end of the term to take a break, but after today I think I might just start tomorrow. I'm emotionally exhausted from pulling her through her work. I asked her today what she would do if we didn't have lessons, and her reply was, "read lots and lots and lots of brain candy!" (brain candy = CM's "twaddle") and then she added, "well, probably not only brain candy, but maybe a thick book now and then too, and I'll craft a lot. I want to learn how to sew." I guess that's what might happen next! Thank you! Your dd8 sounds a lot like my ds8. We are going to be moving in Dec. I am SO SO SO tempted to drop everything but reading and math (and maybe some copywork) until January. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anabelneri Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 :smilielol5:That is awesome!! I'm throwing my vote in for "take an unschooling break". Except for math. You may never stop math. :D Do some artist studies, do some watercolor painting... Nature walks...go to the park... I have to do this every couple of months. We get burned out, too. Ok, so I made a new assignment sheet for the week (last week took a couple of days extra, so our new week begins today) and I just put on "read assigned book for 1 hour" and "what else did you do today". But then, when we got up, Sweetie asked what her math assignment was for the day and I couldn't bring myself to tell her that there wasn't one. Ack! LOL. What I'm trying to remember is that she would be so excited to do Life of Fred all day, and to watch our Times Tales DVD and the Maths Star DVDs. But she doesn't consider those to be assignments, and I haven't wanted to "assign" them because she might start objecting to them. Ok, off to feed them... Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papillon Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 (edited) I'd just stick with the 3Rs for a bit. Maybe start the day with a family read-aloud. Keep the math, the assigned reading for an hour (maybe rotate a history/science/literature read, finishing one before starting the other), and then just chat about the reading. Pick some copywork from the book or have her do a little journaling and/or illustrating about it in a reading journal. Then, when you're both comfortable with the new routine, add in a few activities here and there, like art, cooking, science activities, etc. Take field trips; visit the library for both reading material and educational software; watch videos; play educational games. I've found that when we step back and approach school like this, with a focus on the 3Rs, it has a very positive effect on everyone's attitude, our days are much more relaxed, and we actually end up getting a lot more accomplished. You may even want to check out the Core Knowledge K-8 Sequence (free online) or Rebecca Rupp's Home Learning Year by Year to tailor your daughter's reading choices to the topics listed for her grade level (if you would feel more comfortable with a little framework to follow as you move along). Good luck! Edited November 16, 2011 by papillon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Oh, 3rd grade. We're in 3rd for the first time and ay, yi yi! I do find that it's a steep increase this year and my very capable, usually mature and responsible 8yo dd feels like the world is against her because she is always the last one doing school work. Of course she has more work than her 6yo sis and 4yo bro! I've been contemplating how to handle this as well. I don't really want to ease up but I don't want to kill the love either.... My 3rd grader has an attitude problem this year, which I'm "dealing with" by bribing her. (For days she has a good attitude, she gets a virtual $. She's saving the virtual dollars for an American Girl doll. If she gets grumpy with me & pouts or throws a fit, she doesn't earn that dollar for the day. If she does it a second time, she loses one of the dollars she has earned. She has a running tally on a sheet of paper taped to her desk.) In one way, I feel really bad for this poor girl. I combine her with her older sister, so she did Latin in 2nd & now in 3rd when her older sister didn't start until 4th. She's been integrated into science, history, religion, etc. since she was in 1st grade. But, in another way, she is just a big whiner. I let her listen to audiobook versions of the books I make her older sister read for herself. I scale the requirements of everything down for her (as in she didn't have to write anything for Latin at all last year - it was all oral; but her sister had to do all the written work). I can't slack off with my 3rd grader because that would mean slacking off for my 5th grader as well. My 5th grader has a complex because she has two extra subjects that the 3rd grader doesn't have (Spanish & Writing Tales). Good luck. :grouphug: Breaks have always just made it more difficult to start back up for us. No one wants to go back to work & it makes for grumpy kids and an exasperated mom! :boxing_smiley: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I, too, have a 3rd grader and I definitely have to stay on him to keep him focused and working. One thing that helps him, and may help your DD, is having some control. I plan the lessons out for the week and write the whole week's worth in DS's planner (broken down into assignments for each subject, each day). He gets to take it from there and decide what he does and when. So for example, if he's not feeling particularly "mathy" first thing in the morning, he can choose to do something else and get to math after lunch. If your DD feels like she has some say in, maybe even being "in charge" of, her education, she might be more receptive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Sew more, school less. The conveniently let the school skills sneak into what she likes doing. Have you taught her to type? Given her an email account? Then she writes letters to send to grandma with the pics of her projects, right? And after she watches that math dvd you talk about (narration), right? Kids are a funny lot. Sometimes when they're not warming up, it's because we haven't approached it right yet. I don't fundamentally think kids are bad, and I do think with some kids (the really keen, observant, opinionated ones) you have to work around the, as they're not likely to bend and work around you. So I say it again. Sew more, weave the skills into life. And then, while you're doing that, consider doing some evals. She could actually have some problems you're not catching onto because she's so bright. Any child who resists language output and is that spatially oriented (the sewing, math, etc) could easily have some things going on. Yes, I know that's out of the blue, but there you go. If there's nothing, then a neuropsych or ed psych eval would just be interesting information on how to teach her better. But if there is something (attention, vision, whatever), that might be why you're seeing what you're seeing. In our case, dd was much like that, crazy for sewing and crafting, good with math (her best scores), resisted all things LA, and in general disliking school. It wasn't until about 5th grade that she finally hit her wall. No reason to wait is what I say. Get the evals. I intend to test my ds when he's 5 or 6, no matter what. If you don't like my idea of testing (which admittedly is pricey), then just start reading. Read about things you don't suspect. Read "The Mislabeled Child" by the Eides. Read about stealth dyslexia. Read about ADD/ADHD (Freed's book "Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World"). You'll probably find a lot there to carry over, and you can worry about labels and the need (or non-need) for them later. But don't say I didn't tell you. See my personal observation, and this is just me, is that when moms come in spitting about lazy kids, or just feeling that level of frustration that compels and impels them to go to a public board and start saying such things, there's usually something deeper and unidentified going on. You shouldn't feel this level of frustration, and you shouldn't feel bashful about wanting to make sure. That's the whole definition of 2E, when they're so strong in some ways that the rest of what you're seeing doesn't make sense. I mean it seems reasonable that a dc who struggles academically wouldn't enjoy school. But it doesn't make sense when a dc is very precocious in some ways and yet out of sync or not enjoying things. That's when your mother gut goes off that something is wrong. And I'm saying you don't have to have some big lightning bolt to decide to get some evals. You *can* find practitioners to take you seriously. Nuts, I found a neuropsych to evaluate my dd, and I walked in saying she's dyslexic even though she can read a volume of LoTR a night, hehe. Figure that one out, lol. He might not even conclude the same; we find out in a couple weeks. But at least I was going for answers. You don't have to live with incongruities, and you don't have to wait for them to turn into some wall later. BTW, has she tried sculpting? In addition to sewing, my dd did a lot of sculpting with polymer clay (Sculpey) at that age. She still does. Might make something fun for you to do over your holiday break. She also liked Family Fun magazine a lot. And of course she would sew clothes for her stuffed animals. She'd make raincoats and all sorts of things. She's still like that, very spatial and imaginative. Now it has turned into a decorating streak. She has the house fully decorated for Christmas already. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in SW WA Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Hello! So I have a 3rd grader who is grumpy. She hates anything that's assigned these days. I feel like I've been dragging her through her classically-oriented academic requirements since Kindergarten and she is getting more and more unhappy as we go along. She's also developing some pre-adolescent attitude, which isn't helping any. But I've been tweaking her schoolwork as we've gone along to fit her needs better, and it doesn't seem to be helping at all. When I get a new book in the mail, she'll be excited about it until she learns that it's "for school", at which point it may as well be a cobra. She's miserable. I'm miserable. I'm thinking about giving us some time down. Has anyone taken a break and been able to come back from it? Has anyone taken a break and discovered in their child a self-starting learner where there wasn't one before? Has any one not taken a break and wish that they had later down the line? Thanks! Go for it. Take a break. But the reality is that school is work. It is irrelevant to me whether or not dd8 'enjoys' her schoolwork or not. If she's grumpy some days....oh, well. She'll get over it. If I let my dc take breaks when they were grumpy we'd never get anything done. Just another angle.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I had people telling me it was my fault my kid was complaining and inflexible (craving more hands-on, wanting more this and that, never happy with my methods), and the issue wasn't me. If you've tried top-down, do-it-my-way, and it isn't working, it's time to look for WHY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caribbean Queen Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 You could take a break and then after your break just do AO. I've thought about pausing the AO material, but it's actually the part she likes best, and she has no trouble with the level of readings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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