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Low self-esteem or just conceit?


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Do you think, generally, that someone who constantly posts on FB about how advanced, how gift, how smart, how cute, how amazingly genius her children are has self-esteem issues or is just rather conceited? Does she just need to hear all of the "oohs and aahs" that she gets or is it just bragging to brag?

 

When I say constantly, I mean, at least every other day, if not every day.

 

The person also likes to post about how wise and smart and informed all of her decisions are. Looking for a new washer, Oh, the ones that she got ARE the best. Trying to decide between a iPad/Nook/Kindle...better ask her, she is fully informed and already made the right decision, so should you. Have question about the Bible? She's recently read it from front to back, and that wasn't the first time, so she can answer every question. Question about HS curriculum....well, her children are geniuses, she doesn't have to do much work with them, they learn by osmosis almost, but she is a curriculum expert..just ask her. Etc, etc, etc, etc

 

Okay, now I'm just venting, and yes, I should probably just unfriend her if that annoys me so much....but is that really annoying or am I just being a grump?

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Eh, sounds like she 1) loves her kids, 2) likes to gab, and 3) has excess time to spend on Facebook. I don't think a Personality Diagnosis is necessarily called for, you can always block this person if she trips your saccharine/self-importance Meter.

 

In the grand scheme of things there are people doing far more destructuve things than she seems to be doing. Plus, you never know when you'll need good advice on a Major Appliance Purchase. There is grace to be had in putting up with people who aren't doing you any direct harm.

 

:grouphug: :) ;) :lurk5:

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LOL I've got one of these on FB too. In the past 2 weeks, she posted her child's standardized test scores on FB and her child's reading level. The devil in me wants to post my child's right below hers to kick her off that high horse, but I don't have the time or energy to invest in that kind of mind game. She already inquisitions me enough as it is.

 

I also have one particular FB friend that posts ad nauseum about her kids 20X a day. She's not as overtly braggy as above woman, but WAY TMI about her life. And she's super quiet in public. That's an odd combo too. She's actually about 3 posts away from the unsubscribe list. :D

 

I think it's hard to read anything in particular from FB because different people have different filters. I notice my friends that come from the east coast tend to have much less of a filter than my friends that originate from the midwest as an example, but never mean any harm. Just in their nature.

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Does she have anyone in her life who supports, encourages, or otherwise "compliments" her or her kids? Sometimes people just want some "atta boys" for themselves or their kids. (Once in a while I wish there was someone who saw all the wonderful things about my kids that I see every day and not the negatives that are usually called to my attention :tongue_smilie:).

 

That being said, it sounds like she is definitely overboard.

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reminds me of a relative, who in reality, is very insecure and looking for affirmations. I just can't bring myself to give them to him. (it's now a moot point, as the relationship was recently severed by his own super greedy choice. he's really short sighted too.)

 

it's up to you if you want to continue a relationship with her or end it.

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Yeah, my stepmother used to brag about her own children constantly when we were growing up (not on Facebook, LOL). Brag, brag, brag, all the time. I knew what phrases were going to come out of her mouth before she said them. She bragged about her high-society friends, the wonderful choices she had made in life, etc. She'd tell long stories about the fun and prestigious things people around her had done. It was so painful to listen to her, because she would never brag about my brothers and me. When she'd talk about us, her voice would go to a whisper and she'd discuss all the reprehensible things she could think of to say about us.

 

I've often thought she was the perfect example of a narcissistic personality. She was so sure that everything she did was correct. Never once did I hear her express regret about anything (except maybe becoming our stepmother) or admit to having any faults.

 

The funny thing was, it was kind of interesting to listen to her. Yes, she was obnoxious, but her stories were kind of fun to listen to. They were all true, too. She somehow managed to put herself into the most successful crowds everywhere she went, so some of their glamour rubbed off on her.

 

So what I'm saying is that people like that can be extremely irritating, but you can learn a lot of interesting stuff from them. Don't drop this woman completely, unless she's belittling you in some way.

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This board is such an eye opener as to how other people view fb. I and 99% of my fb friends brag about our kids. Both my homeschool and public school friends brag about standardized test scores. No one has bragged about Bible info although a lot of my friends post Bible verses and get a lot of feedback/likes on it. I don't know about your friend--maybe she is just super proud of her kids. Maybe she is sharing info on curricula that she thinks others would find helpful. Without knowing her it is hard to say if she has low self esteem. Are you close friends? Do you have a gazillion people on your fb and she's just one of those on your list?

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Eh, sounds like she 1) loves her kids, 2) likes to gab, and 3) has excess time to spend on Facebook. I don't think a Personality Diagnosis is necessarily called for, you can always block this person if she trips your saccharine/self-importance Meter.

 

In the grand scheme of things there are people doing far more destructuve things than she seems to be doing. Plus, you never know when you'll need good advice on a Major Appliance Purchase. There is grace to be had in putting up with people who aren't doing you any direct harm.

 

:grouphug: :) ;) :lurk5:

 

:iagree: It might be that one way she feels loved is through praise. It would not bother me, but it takes a good bit to rattle my cage. :D

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I have a church acquaintance who does this, constantly. The first time after we returned to church after my husband's stroke and year-long absence (due to hospitalization, rehab, etc.), she never once asked how we were doing, etc., but jumped right into all of the amazing things her children had done the year we were gone -- ha ha. I happen to know that she herself has very low self-esteem and was from a very sad home situation growing up. Her children and their accomplishments are "proof" of her worth. Because I know her past, I try and be patient, but even then, it's not always easy!

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My FB friends and I give each other brag warnings. We all do it sometimes. I actually enjoy hearing about what my friends' kids are doing. I do think there are probably some people on my list who don't like it, and for them I might be on ignore or whatnot. When we warn, we aren't trying to hurt feelings, we're just talking about our lives. We also complain and post stupid jokes and youtube vids.

 

Of course, I also love to see FB friends vacation pictures. I will happily look through your entire album of the latest ski trip, or your pix from Madrid or Korea or Morroco. I really enjoy that, even if I can't go, and even if you went without me! :D I also do really want to know if you're checking in at the dog groomer's. :) lol

 

One of my sisters and I did recently have a brief text exchange, mostly of me whining, when she posted pix of of her and some friends at a club...without me! I texted her at 1am and asked why I wasn't with her. She said, "I didn't think you'd want to go, I'm not even in the state. I decided at the last minute and I did not want to have to go over there and deal with you and your curling iron." This is true, I have curling iron issues. I had to agree with her on every point. It's true I wouldnt have gone last minute, that far. She knows me well. However, now we have agreed to always ask each other about such outigs. lol FB is weird. I get why people would get upset about certain things. I am ok with Ignoring or Being Ignored.

Edited by LibraryLover
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What if she has nobody close to share news about her children with???

What if she uses FB to let far away family, grandparents etc, know what the kids are up to? Maybe that's her way to keep them posted?

Have you never been in the situation when you were proud of your kid and bursting to share with somebody?

 

If it bothers you, you can always hide her posts.

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:iagree:

I think she's posting about her life on FB.
:iagree:

 

You can hide her posts w/o unfriending her if she gets on your nerves but you actually do care about her.

 

It is helpful to focus on the positive in life. I try to do that. I try to be humble, too, but, TBH, my kids are just astonishing. LOL.

 

I'd never gripe about my kids on fb, so ofcourse my posts about them are brags of sorts. I love reading friends' posts about how great their kids are. Always makes me smile. Cute pics are super, too.

 

Personally, the only people I have blocked or unfriended are the ones who whine about their kids/lives/depression *all the time* or those who post snide or unsupportive comments on my own posts or anyone else's. If you can't be nice, get off facebook, IMHO. I have hidden one or two people whose politics just annoy me, too.

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My FB friends and I give each other brag warnings. We all do it sometimes. I actually enjoy hearing about what my friends' kids are doing. I do think there are probably some people on my list who don't like it, and for them I might be on ignore or whatnot. When we warn, we aren't trying to hurt feelings, we're just talking about our lives. We also complain and post stupid jokes and youtube vids.

 

.

 

See, I have no problem with good natured bragging and the cute little brag alerts. I love vacation pictures and seeing peoples new homes and cute kids, and knowing what families are up to. I don't consider that bragging. Heck, sometime today I'll be posting a little brag because my son got called back for a major part in a production he auditioned for last weekend (a biggie for him). :D To me there is a difference between posting "I'm so proud of how Suzy did in her standardized testing. We're having a great year!". To "Suzy tested 3.6 grade levels ahead in reading and 2.1 in math. I think they grossly underestimate her abilities." "Jimmy is having a great year at track" vs. "Jimmy blows away all other kids his age at track. I wish he had a real coach and some real competition.".

 

I think narcissistic would be a good word to describe the person I have issues with on FB. She's just like that in person too. If her kids have issues, it is ALWAYS someone else's fault (a teacher, etc). There's an extreme cutting and competitive tone to her posts.

 

In most cases, definitely personality quirks!

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