La Texican Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 (edited) If you are the atheist parent and the grandparents are teaching your children about their religion, the biggest possible downside is that you children come away believing things that you find ridiculous. If you are the religious parent and the grandparents are teaching your children atheism, the biggest possible downside is that your children lose the salvation of their eternal souls.*, . Eek! *I have to post before I finish reading the thread. *The biggest possible downside is that the child believes the religion then spends a lot of their childhood in fear that their own parents are going to hell. *I had a maid who invited my son to VBS tell me she was "sorry for your children because what if you're wrong" about my atheism. *I should trust my young children to people who are truly sorry for my children because of the way they're being raised? *There's children being raised in a lot worse situations. * Don't feel sorry for my children. *I'm still raw about that. Sorry OP, this was not a helpful post. *It was a rantling. (tear-stained smiley) ETA: oh. There's no delete post button. I see the rest of your post mentions they should leave out the heaven and hell part. ((blushes)) Edited November 13, 2011 by La Texican Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I'm coming at this from the perspective of having been raised Catholic and raising Catholic kids even though I no longer believe in Christianity. I've never discussed my own religious beliefs with my kids, although they have seen my 365 Tao book and know I read it every day. I personally feel it's very important for them to come to their own religious beliefs on their own, it's one of the essential elements in a well-lived life IMHO. I also feel it's important for them to be part of their cultural heritage and Catholicism is a big part of that. BUT, I know there is no danger of them being scared by what they learn at CCE and if they were concerned with hell, I'd just explain purgatory. I would be a lot more concerned if someone was teaching them that they would go to hell if they died tomorrow and they were worrying about it. I found that my dd just went with the flow until she was about 8. Then she started asking insightful questions about Church teachings. She started comparing and contrasting other ancient religious stories with the Bible. I was much older before I got to this point. Luckily, she was also mature enough that I could sit her down and explain that religion is not an appropriate topic of conversation with other kids. Based on my experience, I'd say that a 5yo will be okay with religious instruction as long as it doesn't terrorize them. As they get older, they may surprise you by figuring things out for themselves quicker than you'd think. Pink, what was your experience with your older sons? Did they go to Sunday school at your old church? How did they react to your change in convictions? If they went through that process fairly smoothly, I'd be inclined to repeat it with your 5 yo. Since he's still young, he might say something to Mawmaw that will reveal your own beliefs, so be prepared to have to talk about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I am assuming you are not Christian and they are...just savvy that way, I guess. From the Christian perspective, we are called to love one another...the greatest love we can share is to share the love of Jesus Christ/our Father and show them He created them and has a plan for them. It would be very difficult for a Christian to not have this as part of their modus operandi especially with their grandchildren. I feel for you, OP. I do hope you find something that works and that the discussion goes better than you anticipate (I'm not a confrontationy person myself; this would keep me up nights.) When we were devout Christians, I was definitely of a type where ma23peas is coming from. Love would include proselytizing. When we were Christians, we had Christian friends listed on our will in case my husband and I died, so that the children would be with people of our faith who would raise our children with related Evangelical beliefs. When we became skeptics, and then atheists, we chose my brother and his wife, who have never been religious as the new potential guardians because we knew they could love and raise our children without trying to convince them into their religion. I love what Nance had to say about helping a child to understand where the grandparents are coming from, I just don't know if a child of 5 can really not feel put in a bad spot by trying to navigate that. Definitely teenagers, but not someone so innocent. Someone just learning to navigate social realities. I dunnoh. I don't know what'd I'd do, but I'd want to maintain a loving relationship with the grandparents, if possible, without the potential psyche-damaging aspects of the religion and the proselytizing. I know that's what you want to, but aren't sure how to go about it. I do wish you the best. I know this probably wasn't terribly useful, but just wanted to add to the voices that feel for your situation and are hoping the best for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 We dealt with MIL on this issue. She's SDA. Fanatically. To the point of telling Wolf that she's a failure as a mother b/c he's not a pastor in her religion. *sigh* I've no issue with general Christian materials...but when she sent Tazzie a DVD with the 'Demon Possessed Boy' on it when he was 3? 4? I put my foot down. (She was constantly complaining that Tazzie was ill behaved...b/c he's a busy, active boy, and doesn't like to simply sit still for hrs at a time the way Wolf did when she first adopted him). We also flat refuse to participate in any SDA church gathering. Our situation is easier than yours. MIL lives in another province, and its easy for me to screen any materials she sends before the children get them. I don't see any way to resolve this without sitting down and talking about it. You either have a confrontation (albeit hopefully mild and without any dire consequences) or you continue the status quo as it is now. I wish you the best. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 .but when she sent Tazzie a DVD with the 'Demon Possessed Boy' on it when he was 3? 4? I put my foot down. :scared: :svengo: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 As an atheist, I wouldn't mind if grandparents taught our children their beliefs. There is a big caveat, however: I'd not be happy if by doing so the GPs implied that their's was the only way and all others were evil, ****ed, immoral... As they are only together a few hours a week, can you just say to your son that the GPs believe that but we in our family believe this? Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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