yellowperch Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 My youngest just turned 2. I am about to turn 45. I have been very lucky and blessed to have the children I do have. My husband is terrified about the financials and the looming college tuitions. I really thought by now I would not be thinking this way. But here is again: baby fever. The "would it be great if it happened" approach we've taken over the last two years has not resulted in a baby. Dh travels so timing is an issue but, of course, my age must be the main factor here. Anyway, this is so personal I wonder why I am posting about it here. IRL no one would sympathize--we live in a 2.5 kids per family part of the world--or have real advice to offer. I'm thinking of seeing a fertility doc just to see what my options are. I'm really not crazy. I just love this baby-wearing, child-rearing, soon-to-be teenager part of life and never want it to end. Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ByGrace3 Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 :grouphug: I was having a little baby fever myself today when I was putting some baby carriers away a friend had borrowed and dd(almost 2) went running yelling, "no want it!" :001_huh: made me a little sad :( :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bzymom Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 :grouphug: I've got it, too, but I cannot have another. I would like someone to just share their baby with me! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 If I knew the cure for baby fever, I wouldn't have 7 children. Is there any way your husband might be more amenable to timing things right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yellowperch Posted November 12, 2011 Author Share Posted November 12, 2011 The timing is out of his control for the most part. He's in abroad now. He had been home for a month before and we thought we got the timing right, but we were wrong. He'll miss our next chance, but then he'll be home for six weeks. That's why I'm thinking of seeing a specialist--between my age and his travel we don't have an infinite number of chances left. That said, Dh is fine with things as they are. He's half hoping (maybe 75 percent hoping) the fever will pass. I don't think it will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Can he bank his sperm so you can have IUI? I don't think it is hugely expensive-- at least not as expensive as IVF. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsmama Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Hugs. I have it sometimes, too. We have three, two are bio and one by adoption. I actually want to adopt another, but DH is not on board. While I would love a "surprise" PG for the baby factor, my body reacts terribly to pregnancy, and I end up being really sick for the whole time. So, yes, adoption is for me, but not for DH. I channel my energy into advocating for orphans and kids who need foster care. I blog about it and share with family/friends. It is not the same as wanting/having, I know, but it is my panacea, as it were. Good luck/best wishes/prayers. It is hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I think, for me, I started focusing on the fun things that this age brings. We recently went to legoland. No diapers, strollers, loveys. One backpack for all of us. No tantrums. No naps. We had fun the entire day. No one got upset, angry, frustrated. I love babies. I wanted another one for many years. It's a long story, but by the time dh was on board, I felt the time was bad and then we went through financial hardships.... Anyway, I came to the realization that I didn't want another baby, I wanted my babies back. I miss their cute little personalities. I wish I had a rewind to fix all the mistakes I made, all the times I should have held them, rocked them a little longer. I am content with the children I have. Geez, I don't know if this helped at all. Reading it again, I think it's kindof a drag. But I'll hit submit anyway. Maybe you can get something out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GingerPoppy Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Oh, me too. :grouphug: But I don't think it's gonna happen for me. And I just have the one. :001_unsure: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SW in IL Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I am totally on board with you. My kids are 25, 18 and 17. I try to tell myself that grandchildren are in my future but I'm engaged to a man who doesn't have children and who would love to have at least one. Financially, we would be able to support a baby or two, but adoption is too pricey for us - at least for the time being. I'm 45 years old and had my tubes tied when my baby (the 17yo) was just 6 weeks old. But, it wasn't by choice. My ex-husband made the appointment and told me it was a routine check after the baby was born. Once I discovered otherwise, he beat me until I gave in. I never felt like I was done having babies and have always felt like something was missing... taken from me. Butterflymommy wrote: "Can he bank his sperm so you can have IUI? I don't think it is hugely expensive-- at least not as expensive as IVF." We looked into IVF. Haven't ruled it out as a possibility but again it's too pricey for us at least for a while. What is IUI? Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 The younger the children, the stronger the baby fever was for me. I had my second and last at 40. Now that he's a teen I've taken to adopting a friends younger child for a few hours here and there. I've got grandparent fever. I guess I'm saying you might well want another one even if you have one more. :grouphug: Taking hormones and stuff to get pregnant with a fertility doctor isn't really fun. :tongue_smilie: I was on bedrest for several months as well. So think it over carefully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappyhappymama Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Well, you could always get a kitty. :lol: Sorry, I couldn't resist, considering your other thread. Seriously, I can be of no help to you on this issue. I don't know if I'll ever not have the baby fever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Since you asked for a cure: Stay up a few nights in a row and see how you feel. For me, this would be the cure...but then I am old and you are probably not. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Well, you could always get a kitty. :lol: Sorry, I couldn't resist, considering your other thread. Seriously, I can be of no help to you on this issue. I don't know if I'll ever not have the baby fever. Ha. That's what we just did. A tiny, cuddly, cute kitty sure did the trick for my family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilymax Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Just offering sympathy--I have it, too, and I am 43. My last pregnancy was tough and my DH is worried that another one would be even harder. I always wanted to have four kids...I have three wonderful boys and of course, would love to know what it's like to have a daughter. (Obviously there's no guarantee of a girl, but it would be nice to try once more, just the same...and if it's another boy then I know I'd love him just like the others!) We're leaving our options open but I do wonder sometimes if we just need to go ahead and decide we are finished. My mind tells me that being done is best. It has failed to convince my heart, however... Hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I think it's a fair feeling to have. I had number 7 after my twins were 5 so apparently the baby fever can linger.... You have so much energy, Yellowperch, that I wouldn't worry too much. Some people go see a fertility specialist. I have never tried that but it did take 7 and 9 months to conceive 7 and 8, but I had not always been having regular periods. If you have regular periods and can detect you are ovulation (if you know what I mean), then just hang in there! Work on it harder when dh is around. About college etc. Tell your dh to not sweat it. He is already in too deep water and colleges will take into account number of kids when giving financial aid. Just have to apply to the right places. My two girls have gotten almost free rides (or 10-20% of the fee) and I never could worry about this since we *have* a shoeful of kids and leave it to God to take care of us (after we work and did our part). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I need to lose weight. Badly. I haven't really worked at it, because I know if I do I will be ready to have another one. Dh says he is done. I could probably (if I begged and pleaded and threw a big old temper tantrum) talk him into another one. But I don't want to do that. I want him to come around on his own. Dd is almost two. I have major baby fever. If your Dh is agreeable, I say give it every chance of succeeding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I had my youngest aged 43. He's now 4 and I'll be 48 in February. I would dearly love another, but it's too late now. At 45 I was a bit ambivalent, once I thought we'd had an 'accident' and I was devastated. I now really wish I'd gone for it at 45. Having said that, I do agree with PPs who've pointed out how much more fun you can all have once they're all out of the baby stage. We go out as a family a lot these days, walking in the countryside, to the theatre, to the cinema, to nice restaurants. We're really enjoying our boys and having good quality family time. And yes, a good, undisturbed night's sleep cannot be rated too highly after the years of walking around in an exhausted fog. Even now, if it happened, and everything went OK (I haven't reached menopause yet), I'd be delighted and consider myself very blessed. I hope that whatever is right for you works out in the end. Best wishes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 (edited) :grouphug: I've got it, too, but I cannot have another. I would like someone to just share their baby with me! :D :iagree: What helps is the knowledge that I do need a break between child rearing and "grandma" stages. This will allow me to get the "I gotta be me!" stuff out of my system. I look forward to Grandchildren as much as having my own (even more sometimes). My mom spread four of us over 20 years. Now that my little brother is in his teens she can finally devote some time to her grandkids.... some who are nearly teens themselves. Not an ideal situation for anybody. It helps me when my sister (10 yrs younger) comes to visit with her kids. The baby is sweet and wonderful. The 4 year old is a terror. Since my youngest is 8 it makes me appriciate never having to deal with that age again. Edited November 13, 2011 by foxbridgeacademy spelling Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I want another one too but can't have one. It's so hard.:sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bensmom Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 :grouphug: I feel for you and my only answer is prayer. I went through several years of baby fever in which we embarked on the emotional roller coaster of adoption which led to heartbreak. After our failed adoption, we fostered a little boy. That was a bittersweet relationship that I am glad we had to courage to build, but did not cure my baby fever. Now I live in a big house with a bedroom that is empty instead of the nursery we planned. The door to the room and that chapter in our lives stays closed. For me, each day becomes easier through the strength that comes from God. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to talk about religion on these boards, but it is the only thing that has kept my baby fever from taking my joy and making me see how blessed we are to have our one healthy, gentle-natured son. Of course there are always grandbabies to look forward to....or a kitten;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lahmeh Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 (edited) Since you asked for a cure: Stay up a few nights in a row and see how you feel. :D :lol::lol: This is a good one! I've had baby fever for a few years now. I'm 38 with heart issues so I've decided against it. The no sleep was torture! Mine are 9 and 10 and finally sleeping through the night! Edited November 13, 2011 by lahmeh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Totally understand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 What cured my baby fever was my youngest dd :lol:. She was "colicky" which turned out that she had dairy and gluten digestion problems. The poor little babe didn't sleep well until she was 7. It took about 6 months of her for dh and I to both realize that there was no way we could ever have another child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 My youngest just turned 2. I am about to turn 45. I have been very lucky and blessed to have the children I do have. My husband is terrified about the financials and the looming college tuitions. I really thought by now I would not be thinking this way. But here is again: baby fever. The "would it be great if it happened" approach we've taken over the last two years has not resulted in a baby. Dh travels so timing is an issue but, of course, my age must be the main factor here. Anyway, this is so personal I wonder why I am posting about it here. IRL no one would sympathize--we live in a 2.5 kids per family part of the world--or have real advice to offer. I'm thinking of seeing a fertility doc just to see what my options are. I'm really not crazy. I just love this baby-wearing, child-rearing, soon-to-be teenager part of life and never want it to end. Sigh. Well. I have only one. I had serious baby fever for about 6 years...never could get pregnant. I was so distraught....TTC was almost all I could think of. Then I got divorced. Baby fever left me instantly. Overnight. I have to tell you that since I know I can never have another, it has been a huge relief to not have the fever. I have a new nephew and some good friends with babies, so I get my fix that way. Dh and I look forward to grandbabies WAY in the future. But neither one of us long for another one of our own. So although I don't recommend divorce as a solution for getting over baby fever, I can tell you that it will leave you someday. You will wake up one day and think, ':001_huh: I don't want another baby!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 The cure: my house at dinner time or 3am! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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