Jump to content

Menu

I just need to get this out of my system...


Recommended Posts

I'm not going to be running across any other moms that would "get this" anytime soon; and this is certainly not a subject that I could share with any heavy/deep understanding with my darling engineer...lol...but here goes...

 

I have this beautiful daughter, 2600 miles away; she is in her early 20's...and she's spent some considerable time (as in what now...3 years?) finding her "way" in the world as she "finds herself".

 

Situations around her really steer her ship. She has begun that journey where her "close" friends have either begun or ended fairly important milestones or decisions in their lives. Marriages, education, children, good choices and bad choices, and she's watched them up close and personal now for some time.

 

She's seeing tragedy and fortune as the result of an idea into a behavior...some have died, some have flourished, some are in the motes and swimming like hell to get out or into something better.

 

Her concrete life is determined by who she knows, where she works, the small things in life like a car that is stable; she's seeing what a temporary illness can do to a life via paycheck drop....and how to stay steady on her feet, learning to drop relationships if they are sick or a dead-end- just all those seemingly little things (that in reality aren't so little).

 

Learning the hard way-you know?

 

So, with that...she's been experiencing changes...a new relationship that's working out well...she's moved..overcome and faced a health problem...and decided for her big ol' self..that's it time to move on from her job she's had for ..what...now going on five years? It's a fairly big deal, and she's been fraught with indecision and fear about it.

 

Now, here's what I need to vent and "click" with someone out there with...

 

She sent me a text message this morning (and today was on the calendar to hear about the acceptance/denial of the possible "new" job she's applied for)...

 

In her text message she said, "Mom, you are not going to believe this...but last night, I had this dream about Grandma. (my mother now gone for 9 years)- and it was so real....in the dream Grandma and I went to get our nails done, and she sat there holding my hand. Mom, I could feel her skin, I could smell her, the colors were so bright, and we curled our hands up together after the painting of our nails and I stared at them so long..Mom...it was so real. It was a real visit from her. Real."

 

----

 

So of course, I have no way to tell her that yep..my Mom came to visit me last night in my dreams to. And that part of the dream was about her hands and the bright paint of red polish on her fingertips..and how in my dream my mother asked me if the color was right.."do you like it?"

 

-----

 

Around twenty minutes later after her text, she sends me another one.

 

"Mom, I got the job. I start next Monday."

 

----

 

So today, on my errand list and daily "to-do" list, I'm stopping by the drug store....and I'm buying a bottle of Revlon-Red nail polish.

 

That was my mothers favorite shade of polish.

 

I just needed to celebrate a moment of weirdness in red with strangers (well, not as in "strange/weird", but as in - I don't "know/know" people, but ..well..I do sorta know you guys, and one of you out there will "get" it.

 

So ya. It's going to be fine...we'll wear red and keep moving on, and it's okay if someone who meets me in person this week and happens to compliment me on my nails doesn't understand why I might bow my head just to blink away quick misty tears, and thank them with a wordless smile.

 

Watching these small changes in your grown kids-knowing what you know as an adult, knowing one thing leads to another....uh..it's sometimes a heavy load; but today, it is a day of relief and hope. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not going to be running across any other moms that would "get this" anytime soon; and this is certainly not a subject that I could share with any heavy/deep understanding with my darling engineer...lol...but here goes...

 

So today, on my errand list and daily "to-do" list, I'm stopping by the drug store....and I'm buying a bottle of Revlon-Red nail polish.

 

That was my mothers favorite shade of polish.

 

I just needed to celebrate a moment of weirdness in red with strangers (well, not as in "strange/weird", but as in - I don't "know/know" people, but ..well..I do sorta know you guys, and one of you out there will "get" it.

 

So ya. It's going to be fine...we'll wear red and keep moving on, and it's okay if someone who meets me in person this week and happens to compliment me on my nails doesn't understand why I might bow my head just to blink away quick misty tears, and thank them with a wordless smile.

 

Watching these small changes in your grown kids-knowing what you know as an adult, knowing one thing leads to another....uh..it's sometimes a heavy load; but today, it is a day of relief and hope. :)

 

That is beautiful. Thanks for sharing. Good luck to you and your daughter.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow. WOW. Beautiful post. Seriously--- and such a cool Universe connection. Congratulations to your dd, and enjoy that red nail polish. Maybe buy her a bottle and put it in the mail to her.

 

So cool. Feel good story of the day, thankyouverymuch!

 

Hugs,

astrid

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What an experience! This is one of those "things" that will stay with you both for all times. An other-worldly connection through dreams...how neat. As parents, we may stop parenting as our children grow but we never stop watching and worrying. Blessings to your daughter and congrats on the new job! This time of life (twenties) is a time of seeking, sometimes we seek the wrong things or we seek in the wrong places. It's a time for finding our groove and it's a time when parents watch anxiously and expectantly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

She sent me a text message this morning (and today was on the calendar to hear about the acceptance/denial of the possible "new" job she's applied for)...

 

In her text message she said, "Mom, you are not going to believe this...but last night, I had this dream about Grandma. (my mother now gone for 9 years)- and it was so real....in the dream Grandma and I went to get our nails done, and she sat there holding my hand. Mom, I could feel her skin, I could smell her, the colors were so bright, and we curled our hands up together after the painting of our nails and I stared at them so long..Mom...it was so real. It was a real visit from her. Real."

 

----

 

So of course, I have no way to tell her that yep..my Mom came to visit me last night in my dreams to. And that part of the dream was about her hands and the bright paint of red polish on her fingertips..and how in my dream my mother asked me if the color was right.."do you like it?"

 

-----

 

:)

 

I don't get why you wouldn't tell her it happened to you, too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Because today I'm a big bawl baby. It'll have to wait. :D

 

I want her to think she did this all by herself for a little while.:lol:

 

It's enough that I know for now.

 

 

I was thinking the same thing, why not tell your daughter? That makes sense. I would tell her before too long. I think it is special that you both had the same dream the same night! What a great memory for you both to have.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She's rocking out a slightly "divine" experience, at the risk of being called a name or whatever..she's in the mystery.

 

I want to let her marinate in this a while and really feel it at work you know?

 

Then Mama will come around the corner in a week or so and whack her over the head for round two. :)

 

---

 

If I had to deconstruct it spiritually, I'd say that it happened because/in relation to- a comforting my mother could offer her as her grandmother, to feel less afraid, less lonely...sort of like grandmothers do when they tell stories of their lives and the things they went through which were much harder but lead to better things. God knows my mother had enough of those stories to tell...lol..

 

And for me..well...I think it would be half comforting as in: "Hey, I'm still watching over you and her with love" and - because my mother's strong suit was loving sarcasm...the other piece would be, "So. How do you like it now *YOU* are a mother..not so easy huh is it smarty-pants?":lol:

 

We just really aren't alone in this world. Mothers really always are there to hold our hands to get through it all, no matter the time, distance or place.

 

I think that was it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She's rocking out a slightly "divine" experience, at the risk of being called a name or whatever..she's in the mystery.

 

I want to let her marinate in this a while and really feel it at work you know?

 

Then Mama will come around the corner in a week or so and whack her over the head for round two. :)

 

---

 

If I had to deconstruct it spiritually, I'd say that it happened because/in relation to- a comforting my mother could offer her as her grandmother, to feel less afraid, less lonely...sort of like grandmothers do when they tell stories of their lives and the things they went through which were much harder but lead to better things. God knows my mother had enough of those stories to tell...lol..

 

And for me..well...I think it would be half comforting as in: "Hey, I'm still watching over you and her with love" and - because my mother's strong suit was loving sarcasm...the other piece would be, "So. How do you like it now *YOU* are a mother..not so easy huh is it smarty-pants?":lol:

 

We just really aren't alone in this world. Mothers really always are there to hold our hands to get through it all, no matter the time, distance or place.

 

I think that was it.

 

Beautiful :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...