QuirkyKapers Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Thanks for the ideas. I have been talking to my kids at home, and I think we have a plan. We will "buy" animals through World Vision and give something silly in representation. For instance, we'll buy chickens for a family, and give a rubber chicken with a note. This way I won't go crazy with it, we'll do something positive for others, and my outlaws can still have the swap their way. If they want to steal the chicken, have at it! Thanks for giving me the push to think it through. What a great idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I *LOVE* that idea! In fact, I may borrow it for our swap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I haven't decided what we will get for our swap gifts this year. My family honestly puts a lot of thought into it and all of the gifts are good gifts. Sometimes, it's really surprising what ends up being the popular gift! I will admit that the family does sometimes get caught up in the spirit of competition. I can see someone being a little hurt that their nice gift was shunned over a cheapie gift that people are having fun with. But, if you sort of plan on taking it home yourself if nobody likes it, then it works out in your favor. I can see not liking it for kids, but the kids in my family don't get to participate, only the adults. The kids get something from everyone. For the record, we call our swap Dirty Santa. Kids in my family are excited when they "graduate" from receiving kid gifts from everyone to getting to participate in Dirty Santa. :D We do have a 3-steal limit and the person who picks first gets a final chance to pick last. Are some people doing crappy gifts? Is that why people don't like it? I like the theme ideas. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 It depends on the theme. We do this on my side every year with my mom, step-dad, brothers and SILs. Teenagers are also allowed to participate. Little kids and teenagers get a gift from each family unit. Everyone else puts in 1 gift per person and takes 1 gift per person home. One year it was gourmet delicacies. Some gave fancy chocolates, candies, cheeses, liquors, coffees, etc. Last year it was Christmas tree ornaments. All were very nice elegant ones that have the potential to be handed down from generation to generation. One year it was the ugliest ornament contest. There was a frog in tutu, a hippo in red and white bikini, gaudy glittery over worked baubles, and the like. My mom hosts and as a gag we had the kids slip the ugly ones on her very elegant tree before we left. She played along and had fun calling us (we let the kids answer) and pretending to be aghast that the eye sores were ruining her tree. The kids thought it was great fun and giggled about it pretending to have no idea how it happened and having had nothing at all to do with it. She also despises pink flamingos, so every year we buy a positively hideous one and slip it onto her tree before Christmas each year. This year it's an "As Seen on TV" theme. We're having a good time scoping out the possibilities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I like that type of exchange at Christmas parties....usually for gag gifts or gifts that are only $5 and under. I would not like it for main gifts. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I haven't decided what we will get for our swap gifts this year. My family honestly puts a lot of thought into it and all of the gifts are good gifts. Sometimes, it's really surprising what ends up being the popular gift! I will admit that the family does sometimes get caught up in the spirit of competition. I can see someone being a little hurt that their nice gift was shunned over a cheapie gift that people are having fun with. But, if you sort of plan on taking it home yourself if nobody likes it, then it works out in your favor. I can see not liking it for kids, but the kids in my family don't get to participate, only the adults. The kids get something from everyone. For the record, we call our swap Dirty Santa. Kids in my family are excited when they "graduate" from receiving kid gifts from everyone to getting to participate in Dirty Santa. :D We do have a 3-steal limit and the person who picks first gets a final chance to pick last. Are some people doing crappy gifts? Is that why people don't like it? I like the theme ideas. :) :iagree: DH's large family plays this game. We've done drawing names...one of the problems with that is that someone manages to get transferred and can't make it back for Christmas...and forgets to send their gifts for the names they drew. The Swap game is just plain fun. Yes, sometimes your gift is't the favorite. It's darn good feedback on what 'sells' and what doesn't. I always find it a fun challenge to see if I can choose a gift that gets folks happy to steal. You have to be 18 to participate in the Swap...it's a big deal to graduate to playing with the adults. I'm really surprised at the number of grumpy, non-participatory people here.:001_huh: THAT would hurt my feelings big time. It's one day...and only a two hour game, at that. Play along...laugh...make some happy memories with others. Choose not to be offended or prideful. Please. Life is too short... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parker Martin Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 We ended up with a leopard print Snuggie out of a white elephant version of one of these. All of us fight over it when it's cold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Thanks for the ideas. I have been talking to my kids at home, and I think we have a plan. We will "buy" animals through World Vision and give something silly in representation. For instance, we'll buy chickens for a family, and give a rubber chicken with a note. This way I won't go crazy with it, we'll do something positive for others, and my outlaws can still have the swap their way. If they want to steal the chicken, have at it! Thanks for giving me the push to think it through. What a wonderful idea!! :thumbup: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 White Elephant, Yankee Swap, Dirty Santa. Are these all the same game? Obviously you have to agree on a set of rules beforehand but a couple posts have me curious that they aren't all exactly synonymous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susann Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 My inlaws are really into this. Each couple brings a nice gift & a funny gift. I just gave up decided to go with the flow & have fun. My squirrel underwear http://www.mcphee.com/shop/products/Squirrel-Underpants.html was the hit of the party last year and the bilingual talking fly swatter the year before. On the search for this year:auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 In my experience? In a White Elephant Swap people bring something they already own, but do not want or a gag gift. In a Yankee Swap you can only steal the gift right before you. If you are #3, then you can only steal a gift from person #2. In Dirty Santa you can steal from anyone who came before you. But, I am sure the phrases are used in various ways by various people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bzymom Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 : I'm really surprised at the number of grumpy, non-participatory people here.:001_huh: THAT would hurt my feelings big time. It's one day...and only a two hour game, at that. Play along...laugh...make some happy memories with others. Choose not to be offended or prideful. Please. Life is too short... I don't think I am grumpy, prideful or anything along those lines. I am probably the happiest (and silliest) person involved in this exchange. I just don't like it. It seems mean-spirited to me, and not in line with MY feelings about Christmas. Some love it. That is okay too. We are all different people, with different experiences which form our likes and dislikes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I'm really surprised at the number of grumpy, non-participatory people here.:001_huh: THAT would hurt my feelings big time. It's one day...and only a two hour game, at that. Play along...laugh...make some happy memories with others. Choose not to be offended or prideful. Please. Life is too short... Wow, really? It's just not that simple. Create happy memories? If you are forced to do something that you don't enjoy, that doesn't really foster happy memories. It's really, really hard to play along and laugh when I'm doing something that makes me really uncomfortable. I don't see why my being uncomfortable so that someone else will be blissfully happy is the right thing to do. I'm now appreciating the dumb family tradition my family has developed, gift cards. Everyone gives and gets them. I was bummed about it until I read this thread and saw you and some others berate some of us for not seeing the game as a jolly way to pass the time. Mercy me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 We do "White Elephant" for adults only. It started as a lot of fun - gag gifts, $5 limit. Then the limit went up to $10. Somehow the gag gifts were not welcome anymore. Now the limit is $20, as in "You have to spend twenty dollars on a gift". I hate it. Every year there's hurt feelings. It's ridiculous. Whew. I'm glad to get this out of my chest. :tongue_smilie: My husband usually brings a pack of batteries or blank CD's, "steals" it during the exchange and brings it happily home. :D Maybe I should do the same. P.S. Last year I brought a box of very nice chocolates. I was accused of sabotaging someone's diet. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeanne in MN Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 My dh's family does this too and I've never liked it either. I finally just decided not to participate. There are still plenty of people to make it a game, if that's what they like. I really love the idea you came up with!!! That totally rocks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 (edited) I'm with the OP. Blah. I would hate that. I never attend or participate in similar activities at work or other groups I belong to. I would REALLY hate it at family functions. Maybe this is more fun for extroverts? I don't know if that's it... (I am an INTJ ;) ). It just seems more like something teenagers would do. To each their own, but please don't push this on family members who hate it. Edited November 11, 2011 by Lisbeth adding info Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitestavern Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 We do a twofold Yankee Swap. First is the "gag", which is no to low cost. Usually we "shop" in our attics, thrift stores, etc. Gift ideas vary from the ridiculous to the potentially useful. We have a lot of fun with this one. The second one is a gift card swap. In our family at least, we all have enough "stuff". No one really needs anything, so we all get a different gift card. We love our Yankee Swap :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitestavern Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 In my experience? In a White Elephant Swap people bring something they already own, but do not want or a gag gift. In a Yankee Swap you can only steal the gift right before you. If you are #3, then you can only steal a gift from person #2. In Dirty Santa you can steal from anyone who came before you. But, I am sure the phrases are used in various ways by various people. I guess we do "Dirty Santa", although we call it a Yankee Swap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murmer Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Perhaps you could change at least the age range if your family is dead set on a yankee swap every year. Perhaps you could suggest that 2 games are played one for the under teen age and one for the adults/teens. That way the kids buy kid gifts and the adults can do adult gifts and the kids at least are less likely to walk out with a vase or some such gift they really wouldnt like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnaM Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 We call it Chinese Christmas LOL White Elephant, Yankee Swap, Dirty Santa. Are these all the same game? Obviously you have to agree on a set of rules beforehand but a couple posts have me curious that they aren't all exactly synonymous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I'm really surprised at the number of grumpy, non-participatory people here.:001_huh: THAT would hurt my feelings big time. In response to that, all I can say is that you should choose not to get your feelings hurt. Is it really that simple? I don't think it is. Maybe this is more fun for extroverts? I don't know if that's it... (I am an INTJ ;) )... To each their own, but please don't push this on family members who hate it. I was thinking the same thing about introverts/extroverts. My husband would love this kind of game! And I agree that there's nothing wrong with just gracefully stepping out and enjoying watching everyone else have their fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 We do a set amount on a gift card. And it is adults only. It makes it so no matter what usually every body is happy. ;) $25 to spend somewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 :iagree: The Swap game is just plain fun. Yes, sometimes your gift is't the favorite. It's darn good feedback on what 'sells' and what doesn't. I always find it a fun challenge to see if I can choose a gift that gets folks happy to steal. ... I'm really surprised at the number of grumpy, non-participatory people here.:001_huh: THAT would hurt my feelings big time. It's one day...and only a two hour game, at that. Play along...laugh...make some happy memories with others. Choose not to be offended or prideful. Please. Life is too short... :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Those of you who love this type of exchange, please tell me why! Help me understand so I can move past my resentment and do this with a happier spirit. Count your blessings if it is done in a cheerful and fun way. A gathering I no longer go to had competitive grown ups teaming up as families to "screw" others out of the presents they most wanted, no matter how young and tearful the little one was, and crowed about it the next X number of visits. Ugh. One of the wards at work does this in a very casual way, and the presents are useful, very bizarre, or booze. We all love each other and it is great fun, but no littles are in on it, and there are no tears, just laughs and whoops. So, from someone who doesn't really like these but who is a glass half-full person, your ILs situation could be much worse -- an annual display of smile-coated jealousy and greed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Interesting to read so many different takes on this concept- thanks for starting the thread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I used to think it was a fun thing to do with a group- our Corvette club does it every year. Some people bring good stuff, others bring gag gifts. Well, one person made some artwork and thought it was a good gift. Nobody else knew that, and thought it was a gag- it was pretty uncomfortable to watch that guy see his art joked about all evening. He seriously put effort into it. I've seen that happen with other things- a holiday cookie jar might be a nice gift for the right person but others snark it all evening. I LOVE the idea of a gift card exchange!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelissaMinNC Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 We make rules each year to constrain the gift to some type. Last year it had to be handmade. There is a huge competition to make the best thing. I am not crafty, but used mix book.com and scanned a book my mom had written about her life to my oldest daughter. No one in my family even knew I had asked my mom to write it 16 years ago when I was pregnant with dd. Since then, my mom has passed away from breast cancer. So this prize was very desirable! My brother made one of these bowls for his gift: http://www.etsy.com/people/mikeflanigan?ref=af_you_circleAren't they amazing?! We didn't know he could even make one. (That is him, btw.) We totally cheat to win this game. I won't tell our secrets, but we try hard to win! It is way better than years ago when we got random things we all wished we could return. This year the theme is Christmas songs. We were each assigned a song and have to spend $50 total on a basket full of items that go with our song. The kids' theme is gold, frankincense and myrrh and we can do things like gold nail polish, gum for the myrrh... Kind of fun too. THIS sounds like a LOT of fun. If I was going to do homemade gifts, I would probably have to start in January, because making anything good would take me the entire year, for sure. I love that you had a book that your mom had written - how special! Very cool ideas. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punks in Ontario Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I'm with you on this. I've resorted to getting gift certificates which everyone wanted. I've wanted to snag one myself, but have been unable to so far. A couple of years ago, I just opted out of my father's exchange. It was not a popular decision, but I feel alot better about spending $50-$75 to get a couple of useless gifts. I know, it's not about what I get, but really, nothing was personal and I don't have the disposable income some of the people have.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medieval Mom Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Agreeing with the Grinches here. Bah humbug! That kind of game is not my cup of tea. (I'm honestly surprised at all the people who thinks this is fun. :confused: ) To each their own. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valkett Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 We started doing this last year with my husband's family. It was great. We set a limit on the amount you are supposed to spend. A lot of ours went something along the lines of a pair of movie tickets and then a basket full of treats, small LED clip-on light and iTunes gift cards, a popular book and a gift card to a book store. I found a lot of interesting items at Costco and then paired with gift cards. Most in the family did the same. The youngest kid we have among us is 16, so everyone played. Lots of fun. 3 take limit and first picker gets to pick last. I've started looking out of interesting items. It really made Christmas easier for all of us. We spent more time just visiting and the game was a small portion of our day. Last year was a test year. We all loved it and will definitely do again. Val Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I have never seen this done in a setting with everyone from little kids to adults. I have seen these and participated in various gift echanges like this and although I am an INTJ, I like them in organizations. We have done them in co-ops for moms, book clubs, women's groups, all kinds of groups. My kids have usually had them at various youth group activities or scouts. All of the groups I have dealt with had maxes of like 5 or 10 dollars and none of us have had issues with them. My dh has even had some at his job. Since it is such little money, no one has ever felt all put out. Also, our philosophy in giving something is something we think others will like but that we definitely like ourselves. That way, the giver can always steal that. I don't know how I would like one the way you describe. I wouldn't have one for kids and adults in the same group. If I was involved in something like that, I would give some candy and an Amazon gift card. After all, everyone should find something at Amazon they would like. Oh, and if I gave something like that, I sure wouldn't mind stealing it back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleWMN Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Thanks for the ideas. I have been talking to my kids at home, and I think we have a plan. We will "buy" animals through World Vision and give something silly in representation. For instance, we'll buy chickens for a family, and give a rubber chicken with a note. This way I won't go crazy with it, we'll do something positive for others, and my outlaws can still have the swap their way. If they want to steal the chicken, have at it! Thanks for giving me the push to think it through. I love that idea! Great plan! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Thanks for the ideas. I have been talking to my kids at home, and I think we have a plan. We will "buy" animals through World Vision and give something silly in representation. For instance, we'll buy chickens for a family, and give a rubber chicken with a note. This way I won't go crazy with it, we'll do something positive for others, and my outlaws can still have the swap their way. If they want to steal the chicken, have at it! Thanks for giving me the push to think it through. That sounds like a great plan. :) We do this with my family, but it's just the adults. Kids get their own gifts. But yes, it becomes very much about the *game* -- trying to come up with something wacky or fun that will appeal to the most people. It's great when it's a wide mix of things -- something infinitely practical, but not usually gift-like; something fun and silly; something really specific (where everyone that sees it knows it's meant for Grandma, so there can be lots of mock wrestling over it); etc... "Sets" based on a theme work well (movie night with a dvd nearly anyone in the family would like, popcorn, candy; game night set)... Last year the gift I gave was "an organized junk drawer" -- a plastic organizing tray filled with practical and wacky things one always needs (and often can't find) in the junk drawer... The gift I received was a pizza stone. There were board games, dvds, etc... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lula Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 aWe do a version of this game at Christmas. (like a Dirty Santa but with dice and all of the presents start wrapped in brown paper and the holder of the item can decide if they are going to unwrap it or not, if they don't unwrap the gift cannot be unwrapped unless you steal it) Everyone participates and it is usually a favorite activity and talked about fondly throughout the year. Gifts are thought of for literally weeks in advance. (I'm the only person in my family who actually like shopping so this is a feat!) Kids and adults participate equally and the only thing off limits is live animals or "naughty" themed gift items. We usually keep a fun game or small item in reserve so that if one of the kids gets something not super we have a special ice cream or treat to make sure everybody has a good experience. I guess in my family we have fun because look at it as a game, a fun group activity with prizes as opposed to real presents. We have a pretty competitive but not mean spirited about the whole thing, nobody has ever even so much as teared up. Honestly, it is one of my favorite parts of Christmas. Love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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