*My* little Duggar-related disappointment

[Ginevra]

I watched the show last night, because I was very interested in seeing the answers to the questions viewers posted. In the preview-teasers, there was a question that was stated as, "What would happen if one of the teenagers...kissed a boy or girl?" I really did want to hear what they would say about that, because I really do wonder how they will handle it if one of their teens moves away from their beliefs. But on the actual show, the question was "What would happen if one of the teenagers accidentally kissed a boy or girl?" Okay - What idiot phrased the question this way? It allowed them to completely gloss over it and not really give any worthwhile answer.

 

What I would really like to hear them answer is, "What will you do if one of your teenagers moves away from your value system?"

 

I guess in reality, it probably won't happen unless a teen/young adult actually physically moves away. I doubt they have enough opportunity to even develop ideas that would part company with the family.

 

P.S. I hate it when the show teaser doesn't match the actual show.

[Desert Rat]

:iagree: I'd like to see what they say about kids who move away from their values.

I think there is a likelihood of one or two choosing a different path.

[butterflymommy]

I would be curious too, to see what they'd do with a hardcore rebel. I remember watching another big family show (not duggars) some years ago where they asked a daughter who was pregnant through premarital sex to move out of the house because they were concerned about the example it would set for the younger ones.

[Nakia]

I kinda have the feeling that they don't even believe it is a possible for one of their children to move away from mom and dad's value system. Not that they are ignorant, but I honestly don't think they believe it will ever happen.

[Annie G]

I don't think we really want to know what would happen if one of the kids strayed too far from the family values. Late last year/earlier this year, Jana found that she was harboring some negative feelings about someone in the family and she was sent away to an ATI event so she could get her head on straight.

But on the other hand, Josh is living pretty large- he has a tv, a computer, and knows about popular movies. So perhaps when they're out of the house, it's ok if they choose to loosen up a bit.

[Josie]

"What would happen if one of the teenagers accidentally kissed a boy or girl?" Okay - What idiot phrased the question this way? It allowed them to completely gloss over it and not really give any worthwhile answer.

 

LOL How can you "accidentally" kiss someone? If someone tried to tell me a kiss was accidental I would use my

you-don't-really-think-I-feel-off-the-turnip-truck-yesterday,-do-you? look!

[silliness7]

:iagree: I'd like to see what they say about kids who move away from their values.

I think there is a likelihood of one or two choosing a different path.

 

From what I've seen and read of them I'd venture to guess they'd say that kids are more important than values. That's just my impression of them.

 

They have a niece who is quite different from them but they seem to be very close to her. (at least on TV :001_smile:)

 

I can't see them disowning a child for getting pregnant out of wedlock for example, although many fundamental types do.

 

Those aren't the kinds of crises I want to have to deal with in my own family and I hope they don't either. But God is big enough to see us through whatever may come.

[katilac]

I would be curious too, to see what they'd do with a hardcore rebel. I remember watching another big family show (not duggars) some years ago where they asked a daughter who was pregnant through premarital sex to move out of the house because they were concerned about the example it would set for the younger ones.

 

Honestly, I don't think it would take hardcore rebellion to upset the cart. I'd be curious as to what they would do with a teen who simply wanted to change in small ways - heh, what if one of the girls wanted to cut her hair??

[silliness7]

I would be curious too, to see what they'd do with a hardcore rebel. I remember watching another big family show (not duggars) some years ago where they asked a daughter who was pregnant through premarital sex to move out of the house because they were concerned about the example it would set for the younger ones.

 

 

That is so sad to me. Poor girl :crying:

[Nakia]

Honestly, I don't think it would take hardcore rebellion to upset the cart. I'd be curious as to what they would do with a teen who simply wanted to change in small ways - heh, what if one of the girls wanted to cut her hair??

 

Or even stop perming her hair? Daddy wouldn't like that.

 

 

Sorry, I'm being snarky.

[Parker Martin]

From what I've seen and read of them I'd venture to guess they'd say that kids are more important than values. That's just my impression of them.

 

They have a niece who is quite different from them but they seem to be very close to her. (at least on TV :001_smile:)

 

I can't see them disowning a child for getting pregnant out of wedlock for example, although many fundamental types do.

 

Those aren't the kinds of crises I want to have to deal with in my own family and I hope they don't either. But God is big enough to see us through whatever may come.

 

:iagree:

 

I don't see any evidence that they're of the "be like me or get out of my life" type.

[~Tara~]

Yeah, that was dumb.

 

We were also annoyed by the lack of answer to 'do you ever lose your temper with the children'. They didn't answer it. That was their moment to be real. But instead they just talked about how one ought not lose their temper yadayadayada Yeah, we know that. We know that yet we 'all' have our moments. We just want to hear you say that you struggle with that, and fail, too.

[Parker Martin]

We were also annoyed by the lack of answer to 'do you ever lose your temper with the children'. They didn't answer it. That was their moment to be real. But instead they just talked about how one ought not lose their temper yadayadayada Yeah, we know that. We know that yet we 'all' have our moments. We just want to hear you say that you struggle with that, and fail, too.

 

She talked about this when I saw her speak at a friend's Bible study. She said that when she only had five, she lost her temper a lot and yelled a lot. Then she noticed that when she'd turn to scold them, they'd cower a little knowing she was going to yell. That made her think about how they were going to remember her as they grew up, and she didn't want them remembering their mother as an angry, scowling woman, so she quit yelling.

 

That's why she does the sing-song voice when she's telling them to do something. Gives a person something to do with his voice that keeps rising frustration from taking it over. She also said that when someone in the family, including herself, gets snippy or starts to show a rising temper, anyone in the family is allowed to touch that person's arm and say, "Mom/Dad/name of other kid, it sounds like you're getting a little angry." That helps the person who's getting angry keep it in check and maintain self control.

 

I don't know why that answer wouldn't have been given on television, but there it is.

[Annie G]

As far as accidentally kissing someone....I know it's possible to be caught off guard and BE kissed without consent. When I was in 8th grade, I went skating on New Year's Eve and we were doing a couples skate when midnight rolled around. Everyone stopped skating and the boy kissed me- full on open mouth. I had no idea what he was doing and didn't reciprocate. I wasn't even aware that people kissed at midnight on NYE until then.

But the question posed to the Duggars wasn't phrased that way.

[Scarlett]

That is so sad to me. Poor girl :crying:

 

It is sad. I would have to know more about the situation to say whether I would do the same though. Being pregnant does not equal living immorally and being a bad example. It takes a moment in time to become pregnant. A girl's bad or good influence level cannot be judged on that one thing.

 

However, if I had a child (of legal age) who was refusing to live by our moral standards he/she would be asked to move out of our home.

[Tenaj]

It is sad. I would have to know more about the situation to say whether I would do the same though. Being pregnant does not equal living immorally and being a bad example. It takes a moment in time to become pregnant. A girl's bad or good influence level cannot be judged on that one thing.

 

However, if I had a child (of legal age) who was refusing to live by our moral standards he/she would be asked to move out of our home.

 

I think I have a book by that family here somewhere but I'm drawing a blank on their name . . my age is showing :) Anyway, as I remember, there was a lot of very open rebellion against their standards which led to the estrangement. I think they've been reconciled now.

[Abigail4476]

Honestly, I don't think it would take hardcore rebellion to upset the cart. I'd be curious as to what they would do with a teen who simply wanted to change in small ways - heh, what if one of the girls wanted to cut her hair??

 

FYI: although the Duggar girls' hair is long, they do cut/trim their hair and Mrs. Duggar has bangs.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

yeah I thought they could have said more in the answers--yeah and the "accidentally kissing" question :glare: crazy......

[Ipsey]

I'm going to wait 20 years to watch a Duggar show.

I hope, by then, some of the children may be willing to give something of a more realistic idea of what went on, not just the highly sanitized brand there is now.

[sassenach]

I would be curious too, to see what they'd do with a hardcore rebel. I remember watching another big family show (not duggars) some years ago where they asked a daughter who was pregnant through premarital sex to move out of the house because they were concerned about the example it would set for the younger ones.

 

A big family we know did that. One of their sons (they have 12 kids, 9 of them boys) completely left the faith. They basically shunned him so that he wouldn't influence the younger kids. I think he was 3rd or 4th in birth order. Last I heard anything about the family, 2 more of their kids had left the faith and therefore the family. They were pretty messed up, though. Very totalitarian father (though I really liked the mom).

 

Not that this has anything to do with how the Duggar's would handle it. I think odds are that at least one of their kids will have a stretch of at least temporary rebellion.

[LisaKinVA]

I would be curious too, to see what they'd do with a hardcore rebel. I remember watching another big family show (not duggars) some years ago where they asked a daughter who was pregnant through premarital sex to move out of the house because they were concerned about the example it would set for the younger ones.

 

I actually *know* this family IRL. And, it was more than just being pregnant outside of wedlock. It was an unwillingness to live by parents rules...period. The parents were willing to help/assist, but there were conditions. The daughter wanted the help/assistance, but with zero conditions... because of THAT she was asked to leave.

 

Most families I know are more concerned about the attitude than an isolated action. Sure, a child/teen/young adult can make some bad decisions that have life-time implications. It's their attitude about those decisions (do they learn from it, accept responsibility for it, and want to change... or do they not learn from it, think they have all the answers and tell their parents they can go to he**?). With the former, most of the parents I know work with their child. With the latter, most of the parents ask that child to leave.

 

BT with my younger brother. My oldest nephew is now in that same spot, and another nephew isn't far behind him. None of this is s*x related... it's all attitude. Are my brother's blameless wrt their sons? No.

 

For me, it is more than a clash of ideas... or values. It's how they deal with that. It is fine for my children to want to challenge my beliefs, but it is how they go about doing it that matters (there is a right way, and a wrong way. There is a way that is respectful... that one can maintain familial peace. There is a way that sets out to tear everyone else down... I can live with the first. I refuse to live with the second).

[Ipsey]

A big family we know did that. One of their sons (they have 12 kids, 9 of them boys) completely left the faith. They basically shunned him so that he wouldn't influence the younger kids. I think he was 3rd or 4th in birth order. Last I heard anything about the family, 2 more of their kids had left the faith and therefore the family. They were pretty messed up, though. Very totalitarian father (though I really liked the mom).

 

Not that this has anything to do with how the Duggar's would handle it. I think odds are that at least one of their kids will have a stretch of at least temporary rebellion.

 

A dear friend of mine, (with very decent parents, BTW) who attended the birth of my first child, was the 2nd of 12. Her oldest sister is a missionary in Africa with their conservative Christian group and is pregnant with her 5th, I believe. Everyone else left the family as soon as they could and moved to a new state. All of the siblings live close together, many states away from their parents. As each child graduates from high school, they run to their siblings. None are Christians. I think the youngest are still in junior high now. I feel sad for the parents, but the children all seem to be doing well.

[mommaduck]

nm

Edited November 9, 2011 by mommaduck

[LuvingLife]

I would be curious too, to see what they'd do with a hardcore rebel. I remember watching another big family show (not duggars) some years ago where they asked a daughter who was pregnant through premarital sex to move out of the house because they were concerned about the example it would set for the younger ones.

 

Ohh I know who you are talking about!! It's the Jubes, Cheaper by the Dozen that's what they called the mini series. The reason why the oldest was kicked out was because she was setting a bad example for the younger kids, drinking, partying, disobeying her parents, getting into severe trouble and nothing her parents did stopped her. So she was told to move out, (she was 18 or 19 at the time it all happened so she was an adult). She got pregnant after she moved out of her parents house, not before it. As of right now her parents are working on a relationship with her and all seems to be going well. It's a process that is taking time, trust and the help of God to mend their relationship.

 

Their daughter needed a reality check and I think she finally got it after her first child was born and she didn't have mom and dad to help her. So it wasn't really poor her, she brought it on herself.

[jujsky]

Did anyone else notice that Grandma Duggar didn't look pleased with the news about the new baby? You could see her in the background, and she didn't look happy at all!

 

I would like them to answer this question: "If your family is against dancing because it draws improper attention to your body, why was Michelle a cheerleader?" To me, that brings more attention to one's body than bee-bopping around the house and acting silly.

[LidiyaDawn]

 

I would like them to answer this question: "If your family is against dancing because it draws improper attention to your body, why was Michelle a cheerleader?" To me, that brings more attention to one's body than bee-bopping around the house and acting silly.

 

She didn't carry the same beliefs as a teenager?

[katilac]

FYI: although the Duggar girls' hair is long, they do cut/trim their hair and Mrs. Duggar has bangs.

 

Oh, yeah, I know that it's not a religious rule for them. I just wonder how big of a deal it would be if one of them wanted to cut is SHORT, cute lil' reverse bob or such!

 

Growing up with two sisters and endless female cousins, and having two girls of my own, it's just hard for me to imagine that all of the girls want long hair all of the time. Both of mine have done long and short and long again, and everything in between, and they're only 11 & 13. It's just a very common thing for young girls to want to change - not all of them, of course, but the Duggars have so darn many that the odds are in favor of at least ONE of them wanting short hair at some point.

[vonfirmath]

I would like them to answer this question: "If your family is against dancing because it draws improper attention to your body, why was Michelle a cheerleader?" To me, that brings more attention to one's body than bee-bopping around the house and acting silly.

 

You can decide later in life that something you did before was not right.

 

I've got a friend who started having teA at age 15. But she is ADAMANTLY against her kids doing the same thing and teaches them that. And part of the reason for it is she realizes how it affected her.

 

And I think it is very odd when people change their hair lengths, etc. a lot. Growing up, my hair stayed very consistent, as did my sister's, on preference of styles, etc. I do know my dad had one rule: Even when cut, it had to be beneath the level of the ear lobes. So that's what we did.

 

Maybe, if mom doesn't change her hair style all the time then the kids don't either? Its just the way it is? Note they also do not go to public school to be influenced to want something different that way. (peer pressure)

Edited November 9, 2011 by vonfirmath

[LuvingLife]

Oh, yeah, I know that it's not a religious rule for them. I just wonder how big of a deal it would be if one of them wanted to cut is SHORT, cute lil' reverse bob or such!

 

Growing up with two sisters and endless female cousins, and having two girls of my own, it's just hard for me to imagine that all of the girls want long hair all of the time. Both of mine have done long and short and long again, and everything in between, and they're only 11 & 13. It's just a very common thing for young girls to want to change - not all of them, of course, but the Duggars have so darn many that the odds are in favor of at least ONE of them wanting short hair at some point.

 

I am wondering the same thing... I cut alot of my hair off a few weeks ago and I love the way my head feels!! No more headaches!! My head feels very light, and in another year or so I want to cut it shorter, like collarbone length, or maybe even shoulder length, just to try it out.

 

I hate how people make so many rules for one religion, just follow the rules of the bible for goodness sakes!! It's not like their dying their hair pink or getting a tatoo!!

[Audrey]

I'm going to wait 20 years to watch a Duggar show.

I hope, by then, some of the children may be willing to give something of a more realistic idea of what went on, not just the highly sanitized brand there is now.

 

I'm waiting for the tell-all book, Duggar Dearest. ;)

[jujsky]

You can decide later in life that something you did before was not right.

 

 

See, now I would agree with this if she didn't talk about it with such fondness in her voice. It didn't come up in this episode, but it has in several past episodes, and she always has this little smile on her face when she mentions it. Jim Bob smiles a lot when he mentions it too. If she regrets it, I would think that would come up at some point like, "I can't believe I was a cheerleader," or that Jim Bob would be all disapproving of it, or that they just wouldn't mention it at all. If she decided later in life that it wasn't right, she definitely has no regret in her voice when it comes up.

 

IDK. To me the whole not dancing thing is just plain silly. I can understand where they're coming from with a lot of their other beliefs and ideas even though I don't share them, but the idea that dancing "stirs up desires" seems pretty out-there. The only thing dancing stirs up in me is a desire for a cold drink! :D

[caitlinsmom]

I'm waiting for the tell-all book, Duggar Dearest. ;)

 

:iagree:

 

I can just see the tell all mini series in 15 years. I keep waiting for one of them to crack and start telling what happens behind closed doors and off camera.

[Scarlett]

, but the idea that dancing "stirs up desires" seems pretty out-there. The only thing dancing stirs up in me is a desire for a cold drink! :D

 

Wouldn't that depend on the dance? And your dance partner? I know it would for me.

[Scarlett]

:iagree:

 

I can just see the tell all mini series in 15 years. I keep waiting for one of them to crack and start telling what happens behind closed doors and off camera.

 

Me too. And I hope they all say that their parents were as wonderful behind closed doors as they were on camera. Some people are ya know.

[hillfarm]

Have any of you actually seen what constitutes a cheerleader at one of the conservative Christian schools? (Not sure if that was the type of school she attended, though) We're talking mid calf length skirts, shapless tops, and leading cheers. No gyrations, no gymnastics, pretty much limited to waving the arms about and some clapping. It is possible that her cheerleading days were totally consistent with her current beliefs.

 

Re waiting for the tell all book, how disappointing. I have read on here about the struggles of many normal families who have a child who strays from the family's beliefs. That is tough enough to deal with a child departing from your heart-felt convictions, without having a bunch of critics drooling with anticipation to read about your flaws. How kind (can you see the sarcasm dripping here?).

[mommaduck]

I figure most of them will have good things to say. One or two may not.

[GinaPagnato]

Re waiting for the tell all book, how disappointing. I have read on here about the struggles of many normal families who have a child who strays from the family's beliefs. That is tough enough to deal with a child departing from your heart-felt convictions, without having a bunch of critics drooling with anticipation to read about your flaws. How kind (can you see the sarcasm dripping here?).

 

 

:iagree: That's just mean. I wouldn't wish that kind of struggle on anyone, particularly people who seem to be just living out their convictions and not hurting anyone by it. Sheesh. But, I suppose if you don't *HAVE* any particular convictions or beliefs, then you won't care what your dc end up doing and believing. Clearly not the case for the Duggars. I would never want that many kids, but I certainly don't wish them harm and heartache.

[Ipsey]

I figure most of them will have good things to say. One or two may not.

 

See, I think this is probably true.

 

The point is, what we're seeing is not "reality". Much of it probably resembles reality, but there's plenty that's not shown.

 

Some people would like to know the real reality :)

 

Or, maybe Mrs. Duggar never yells and everyone is a perfect, special peach blossom all day long :) and none of the children is ever unhappy with having to raise their siblings, and all of them love Jesus all of the time.

 

That's pretty much the image that's portrayed. No?

 

I don't wish anything bad on them. It would be lovely if everything were as peachy as could be.

 

 

Again, this is "reality TV" not reality. It's the reality that interests me. And if what they're showing is the sum of their reality, that's wonderful!

 

But, it's likely we won't know until we hear, freely, from the children, who will all have slightly different takes.

[Jennifer3141]

My UPS guy is HOT. I'm wondering if DH will buy it that I "accidentally" kissed him when he drops off the last HP movie? :confused::confused:

 

How exactly does that work? I'd have to be running to the door with full makeup and my lips pursed and then "trip" over the family dogs?? Does that sound good??

 

I'm waiting for the first gay Duggar child. I'm so watching that show! :lol:

[StaceyinLA]

and I didn't get to comment because it was closed. Suffice it to say, I don't live their lifestyle, and certainly don't think everything they do is perfect, but I enjoy watching the show, think they have a great dynamic, and, so far, they appear to have made less mistakes with their 19 than I have with my 4, so I am not going to judge them. :tongue_smilie:

 

I do want to say though, that the cheerleading Michelle did as a teen certainly had her in typical cheer attire (not long skirts and loose tops). She has professed many times that she was not raised with the same belief system she now has. She and JimBob have also mentioned that they kissed while dating, though they encourage their kids to have a hands-off approach during courtship.

 

That being said, I do think it was Josh's and Anna's decision to hold hands and not kiss prior to the wedding. If they had decided kissing in some form was acceptable, I'm thinking it would have been their call.

 

I have watched nearly all of their shows (though I cannot BELIEVE I missed it last night), and I have both of their books. Though theirs is certainly not the lifestyle we have led, it still impresses me that they stick to their convictions, no matter how odd many of us might think they are.

[Audrey]

My UPS guy is HOT. I'm wondering if DH will buy it that I "accidentally" kissed him when he drops off the last HP movie? :confused::confused:

 

How exactly does that work? I'd have to be running to the door with full makeup and my lips pursed and then "trip" over the family dogs?? Does that sound good??

 

I'm waiting for the first gay Duggar child. I'm so watching that show! :lol:

 

 

I'm sure they'd make a lot of money on that episode. They already pimp out the kids to TV for less dramatic stuff than that. Hey! Maybe they'll do it as a special! Bonus cha-ching! :glare:

[Leav97]

I figure most of them will have good things to say. One or two may not.

 

This is probably true of most families. Even if you have good things to say about your parents, over the course of 18 years, there are probably a couple of decisions you wish they had made differently.

[Ipsey]

My UPS guy is HOT. I'm wondering if DH will buy it that I "accidentally" kissed him when he drops off the last HP movie? :confused::confused:

 

How exactly does that work? I'd have to be running to the door with full makeup and my lips pursed and then "trip" over the family dogs?? Does that sound good??

 

I'm waiting for the first gay Duggar child. I'm so watching that show! :lol:

 

I'm getting cable just so I can see the first Duggar "come out".

[mommaduck]

This is probably true of most families. Even if you have good things to say about your parents, over the course of 18 years, there are probably a couple of decisions you wish they had made differently.

exactly.

 

 

And I don't understand some people just being plain nasty about this family. You don't have to like or agree with them, but there is no need for the nastiness.

[Ginevra]

LOL How can you "accidentally" kiss someone? If someone tried to tell me a kiss was accidental I would use my

you-don't-really-think-I-feel-off-the-turnip-truck-yesterday,-do-you? look!

 

Yes, I think it ruined the entire possibility of getting a "real" answer.

 

Honestly, I don't think it would take hardcore rebellion to upset the cart. I'd be curious as to what they would do with a teen who simply wanted to change in small ways - heh, what if one of the girls wanted to cut her hair??

 

I wonder that, too.

 

Yeah, that was dumb.

 

We were also annoyed by the lack of answer to 'do you ever lose your temper with the children'. They didn't answer it. That was their moment to be real. But instead they just talked about how one ought not lose their temper yadayadayada Yeah, we know that. We know that yet we 'all' have our moments. We just want to hear you say that you struggle with that, and fail, too.

 

:iagree: I do understand that, with all the criticism they constantly have to field, I guess it's not a big surprise that they don't want to stir up more nay-saying. But, really - would it hurt them so much to say, "Yes! I lose my temper. I do make a consistent effort to not let that be an every-day occurrence, but it gets to me sometimes." That would be so human. I would rather hear that then, "Oh, I lost my temper back in 1996, but after that, no troubles." :tongue_smilie: (That is not what they said, btw, I'm just being silly.)

 

Did anyone else notice that Grandma Duggar didn't look pleased with the news about the new baby? You could see her in the background, and she didn't look happy at all!

 

I would like them to answer this question: "If your family is against dancing because it draws improper attention to your body, why was Michelle a cheerleader?" To me, that brings more attention to one's body than bee-bopping around the house and acting silly.

 

Yeah, the dancing thing is the weirdest, to me. Would they be against the ballet? Would they be against seeing the Rockettes? I just can't imagine being this narrow.

 

See, I think this is probably true.

 

The point is, what we're seeing is not "reality". Much of it probably resembles reality, but there's plenty that's not shown.

 

Some people would like to know the real reality :)

 

Or, maybe Mrs. Duggar never yells and everyone is a perfect, special peach blossom all day long :) and none of the children is ever unhappy with having to raise their siblings, and all of them love Jesus all of the time.

 

That's pretty much the image that's portrayed. No?

 

I don't wish anything bad on them. It would be lovely if everything were as peachy as could be.

 

 

Again, this is "reality TV" not reality. It's the reality that interests me. And if what they're showing is the sum of their reality, that's wonderful!

 

But, it's likely we won't know until we hear, freely, from the children, who will all have slightly different takes.

 

Yes, that is the image they portray. I think it's highly unlikely that ALL the kids will continue to embrace all elements of their belief system.

 

I don't wish anything bad on them, either. I think, with all their oddities and though there are things I disagree with, they are still faring better than a heck of a lot of other US parents. There is a little bitter seed in me (because I lost a baby at birth) that wonders if they could go blindly into another birth if Josie had died. So, there's my little "human-ness"; I think it's relatively easy for them to go forward with another pregnancy because they believe that God answered their prayers and spared Josie and Michelle. I wonder how it would be for them if they had experienced a tragic result.

[Parker Martin]

See, now I would agree with this if she didn't talk about it with such fondness in her voice. It didn't come up in this episode, but it has in several past episodes, and she always has this little smile on her face when she mentions it. Jim Bob smiles a lot when he mentions it too. If she regrets it, I would think that would come up at some point like, "I can't believe I was a cheerleader," or that Jim Bob would be all disapproving of it, or that they just wouldn't mention it at all. If she decided later in life that it wasn't right, she definitely has no regret in her voice when it comes up.

 

I don't agree. There are all sorts of things I did that I would disagree with now as my beliefs as an adult are completely different than those I had as a teen. Yet, if I talk about those things, I will probably be smiling. I have noticed friends doing the same. Part of it is having a sense of humor about your young self and your mistakes. Another part of it is having a sense of humor about youth in general. And yet another part of it is that remembering things generally causes one to remember many other things and cause a mini mental trip into nostalgia.

 

ETA: I have one friend who had issues with enormous regret, regret that would sometimes leave her weeping. Yet, when she talked about these things, even she smiled. It seems like a very human phenomenon.

Edited November 9, 2011 by Parker Martin

[enviromommy]

Did anyone else notice that Grandma Duggar didn't look pleased with the news about the new baby? You could see her in the background, and she didn't look happy at all!

 

 

Grandma Duggar never looks happy, LOL.

[AlisonK]

and I didn't get to comment because it was closed. Suffice it to say, I don't live their lifestyle, and certainly don't think everything they do is perfect, but I enjoy watching the show, think they have a great dynamic, and, so far, they appear to have made less mistakes with their 19 than I have with my 4, so I am not going to judge them. :tongue_smilie:

 

I do want to say though, that the cheerleading Michelle did as a teen certainly had her in typical cheer attire (not long skirts and loose tops). She has professed many times that she was not raised with the same belief system she now has. She and JimBob have also mentioned that they kissed while dating, though they encourage their kids to have a hands-off approach during courtship.

 

That being said, I do think it was Josh's and Anna's decision to hold hands and not kiss prior to the wedding. If they had decided kissing in some form was acceptable, I'm thinking it would have been their call.

 

I have watched nearly all of their shows (though I cannot BELIEVE I missed it last night), and I have both of their books. Though theirs is certainly not the lifestyle we have led, it still impresses me that they stick to their convictions, no matter how odd many of us might think they are.

 

 

:iagree: I have to run out and wanted to write something but you saved me the time. Thanks :D ITA

[Ginevra]

This is probably true of most families. Even if you have good things to say about your parents, over the course of 18 years, there are probably a couple of decisions you wish they had made differently.

 

That's absolutely true, however, most people have enough autonomy by the time they are in their high teens or early 20s that they say so. So far, I had not seen any clip or book quote or indication of any kind that the older kids disagree or part company with their parents' belief systems. I haven't seen any kid say, "I don't intend to have as many children as God gives me," or "I plan to get my degree and work full-time, though my parents will not like that." Nothing in that vein so far.

[LND1218]

I watched the show last night, because I was very interested in seeing the answers to the questions viewers posted. In the preview-teasers, there was a question that was stated as, "What would happen if one of the teenagers...kissed a boy or girl?" I really did want to hear what they would say about that, because I really do wonder how they will handle it if one of their teens moves away from their beliefs. But on the actual show, the question was "What would happen if one of the teenagers accidentally kissed a boy or girl?" Okay - What idiot phrased the question this way? It allowed them to completely gloss over it and not really give any worthwhile answer.

 

What I would really like to hear them answer is, "What will you do if one of your teenagers moves away from your value system?"

 

I guess in reality, it probably won't happen unless a teen/young adult actually physically moves away. I doubt they have enough opportunity to even develop ideas that would part company with the family.

 

P.S. I hate it when the show teaser doesn't match the actual show.

 

I hate it when shows do that!

 

In the first season (I think!) when Josh is getting engaged, they said it's up to their kids to decide what they will do about courting and kissing and whatnot. They talked a lot about allowing their children to decide for themselves when they are older what they will do.