Jump to content

Menu

s/o What does Quiverful mean to you?


Recommended Posts

Spinning off of the recent Duggar thread. Quiverful has been a broad and general term with people falling different places on the spectrum. Now there are people that would be counted as Quiverful, but claim they are not (Duggars are an example as they are icons to many Quiverful families, their books are sold to and by them, they are invited to speak to Quiverful families or those that promote it, etc...but apparently the Duggars have said they aren't Quiverful). Also, in the past, I've had people that don't fall into the quiverful movement in what is considered the general practice of (aka, no birth control, etc), but say they are Quiverful.

 

So I'm curious, what is YOUR definition of this term?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

People who follow a Big Family Guru?

 

Not sure who established the Quiverfull Movement, such as it is. Although the concept is certainly Biblical, so I'm sure there are people who simply follow Biblical teaching without any input from the more recent movement.

 

But, at the moment I associate it with that particular Groupthink.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In broadest terms I think of it as being a family that is content (or at least tries to be content) with however many children God blesses them with... whether that is one or twenty.

Does birth control play a role in your definition? (seriously, I am just curious. It's interesting how people can use the same terms and mean different things by them)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it is bizarre if people think someone like Mary Pride is not quiverfull. She wrote one of the founding books on the movement, The Way Home. In that book she quotes Psalms 127:3-5. Quiverfull to me=not using birth control, having as many children as possible, patriarchy, etc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I always thought the term meant leaving your family size up to God and trusting that He knows best. This means using no birth control whatsoever (i.e. pill, iud, nfp, etc.) to prevent pregnancy as well as not purposely trying to become pregnant (i.e. weaning early, etc.). It means being content with your family size no matter how small or large.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it is bizarre if people think someone like Mary Pride is not quiverfull. She wrote one of the founding books on the movement, The Way Home. In that book she quotes Psalms 127:3-5. Quiverfull to me=not using birth control, having as many children as possible, patriarchy, etc.

A lot of people took ques from her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

From inference only, I thought that it means that the man is still....producing and distributing "seed"... and that the woman did not take any form of birth control (including pill or other.) The term "quiverfull" makes me think it's based on something in the Bible, but I have no idea what/where. :confused:

 

From here:

 

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:

and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;

so are children of the youth.

Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them (Psalm 127:3-5)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

For me, it's developed into associations of not-quite-truisms and cultishness.

 

Many QF identiers claim "no birth control" or human interference with fertility, but then live and baby-manage in ways that hasten fertility. There is also a largely unacknowledged competitiviness in the culture.

 

I read (and almost moved down the path towards) The Way Home mentality 12+ years ago. I have since observed the "movement" to develop into something essentially extrabiblical and cultish.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just as an example, if someone told me I was meeting a large family, I would expect a certain amount of noise etc. that goes with that, but nothing beyond that.

 

On the other hand, if I were told I was meeting a "Quiverfull Family," my expectation would be more along the lines of all the females wearing dresses and the mom/older daughters having no makeup, etc. I would probably also imagine a patriarchy orientation, although I don't know how/if that would manifest.

 

And, my expectations could be totally confounded! But, that is what pops up in my mind when the term Quiverfull is used.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I hear patriarchy, I tend to assume quiverful, but when I hear quiverful I suspect but don't necessarily assume patriarchy. We were quiverful and NOT patriarchal.

 

I'm really glad we aren't quiverful anymore. I desperately needed a break from pregnancy and babies. After 3.5 years I feel ready for one more. If this one had come in the usual timeframe I would have had an extremely difficult time finding the joy in it. I'm grateful for birth control! :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I definitely don't see it as being content with what you have. One or two arrows do not a full quiver make.

 

I'd never heard the term until it popped up here, but from what I've seen I agree with you. All those that use the term "quiver something" in their username seem to have large families, so I don't associate it with being content with one or two (or none).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Spinning off of the recent Duggar thread. Quiverful has been a broad and general term with people falling different places on the spectrum. Now there are people that would be counted as Quiverful, but claim they are not (Duggars are an example as they are icons to many Quiverful families, their books are sold to and by them, they are invited to speak to Quiverful families or those that promote it, etc...but apparently the Duggars have said they aren't Quiverful). Also, in the past, I've had people that don't fall into the quiverful movement in what is considered the general practice of (aka, no birth control, etc), but say they are Quiverful.

 

So I'm curious, what is YOUR definition of this term?

 

I mostly think of radicals. And although the Duggars seem radical because they have so many kids, I think it takes more than sheer numbers to be considered QF. I think QF involves more of a mindset....patriarcal....??? I don't know. I think it is a pop phrase at the moment....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I define Quiverfull as people who do not use birth control and do not practice NFP and do this as a part of religious beliefs that say that one should never seek to prevent the birth of a child within a marriage because all children within a marriage are blessings. Quiverfull families do not decide to have a child or not to have a child. This is "left up to God".

 

My parents embraced this philosophy for several years. I disagree with it. :glare:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I always thought the term meant leaving your family size up to God and trusting that He knows best. This means using no birth control whatsoever (i.e. pill, iud, nfp, etc.) to prevent pregnancy as well as not purposely trying to become pregnant (i.e. weaning early, etc.). It means being content with your family size no matter how small or large.

 

 

This is my understanding.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quiverful does not necessarily mean patriarchal or anything else. Quiverful specifically refers to leaving God in total control of your family size. Now quiverful families have many things in common (modest dress, submission to the husband, etc.) but it is not part of being quiverful. And yes... it means being content with whatever size the family is... small or large. If God chooses to bless you with one child, then He has determined your quiver is full for you (and not for the Duggers or anyone else).

 

I don't believe it necessarily is cultish or indicates someone being extreme or radical. FWIW, my DH and I are not quiverful. We prayed for the Lord's will within OUR family and determined this was not it. Our family, our decision between God and us. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Does birth control play a role in your definition? (seriously, I am just curious. It's interesting how people can use the same terms and mean different things by them)

 

Not really. I tend to believe that bc is something that should be completely between you, your DH, and God. For me, quiverful is more about an attitude of trusting in God versus "don't ever use bc, have as many kids as possible, etc". My belief is that God always organizes things to make a family stronger - and this includes that magical number of kids that "works".

 

I can think of a couple families I know that to me are definitely "quiverful" in the sense of striving to be content with the family God gave them. One has ten kids. They didn't start out wanting a large family. They wanted four kids - but when their fourth arrived they prayed as a couple and felt that they should not do anything to prevent children being added to their family. They have ten now. They've come to love having a large family even though sometimes it is very hard on them and would love to have an even larger family, but they feel "done", like there is where God meant their family to be. On the other hand a family I used to work for has three kids. They desperately wanted a large family. Their goal was "at least a dozen", but pregnancies were really hard, the newborn stage was really hard on relationships - as spouses, as parents. They were really struggling spiritually. They pushed through things, they made it work because they really, really wanted a huge family. In the end though, they never had any more children and it devastated them. Now (the youngest is 12) they're realizing that this is probably the best thing for their family. They would take more kids in a heartbeat, but for them having a smaller family size has enabled them to grow spiritually stronger and emotionally closer.

 

This is where it gets tricky, because how *I* think of quiverfull isn't necessarily how the rest of the world thinks of it - KWIM? Like for instance I don't think of patriarchy *at all* when I think of someone being quiverful, or having tons and tons of kids, but I know those are the connotations that it holds for many people.

 

ETA:

I figured I should probably add the disclosure that I do not consider myself quiverfull and I doubt I ever will. "Contentedness" is not a big part of my personality... I like to take charge and plan things out. :lol:

Edited by theAmbitiousHousewife
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Someone who lets God decide when and how many children to have, using no means of controlling either artificial of natural(NFP), sterilization etc at any time.

 

See, that would describe me/us.

 

However, I wouldn't even remotely think of myself as Quiverfull. I didn't even know where in the Bible that idea is mentioned until someone said it was in the Psalms on this thread. To me there seems to be a LOT more to that mindset than just how you handle B.C.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know there's this whole "movement" behind it. I think it is ridiculous. Being content with the family that God has given you and viewing children as a reward and blessing from God (even those lost to us in this life) is having a full quiver.

 

If my husband has only one son and one daughter and he is happy and blessed by that, then his quiver is full.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I havent read the other replies but I would say that it is a family that does nothing to plan or prevent children and I would say that it is usually because they feel that this is Biblical or at the least that they have been "called" to it.

 

 

I think the term allowing God to give you as many as he sees fit is a bit deceptive. I have my tubes tied but I know that I have as many as God wanted me to have. He gave me very clear signals via how my body handled pregnancy, that it was time to stop. My quiver is full. However, most of those in the movement would disagree with me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know there's this whole "movement" behind it. I think it is ridiculous. Being content with the family that God has given you and viewing children as a reward and blessing from God (even those lost to us in this life) is having a full quiver.

 

If my husband has only one son and one daughter and he is happy and blessed by that, then his quiver is full.

 

 

 

:iagree:This is exactly how we feel.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I havent read the other replies but I would say that it is a family that does nothing to plan or prevent children and I would say that it is usually because they feel that this is Biblical or at the least that they have been "called" to it.

 

 

I think the term allowing God to give you as many as he sees fit is a bit deceptive. I have my tubes tied but I know that I have as many as God wanted me to have. He gave me very clear signals via how my body handled pregnancy, that it was time to stop. My quiver is full. However, most of those in the movement would disagree with me.

 

:iagree: Biology taking its course isn't the same thing as God. :) I think six will give us a nice, full quiver. I'm sure I could pop out at least six more since I'm in my early 30s. That doesn't mean that God wants me to or that I should. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My experience with"quiverful" is from teh internets, so any bias will stem from such limited exposure. Most of that limited exposure has been on this forum, where it's a polarizing issue that often allows me to see the extreme schools of thought for and against the lifestyle. I've read through some of the websites posted in the past, about recovering quiverfuls and current quiverful families. Fascinating stuff. I come from a large family, and all of our family for generations have been very large - so it's always interesting for me to read about other large families. But the guiding philosophy behind what I understand to be the quiverful movement is so very different than my own family history (we're just fertile and horny, apparently!)

 

In my mind, quiverful is more than "open to the idea of children" (which is what I see to be the underlying belief in the Catholic faith, into which I married but do not participate so maybe I'm off - who knows); to me quiverful seems more in the arena of being open to and seeking of children. Rather than ecological means of birth spacing, which I see in the Catholic community - not just NFP, but also on-demand nursing and co-sleeping, the quiverful families seem to be more willing to restore fertility. Not necessarily to try babymaking straight out of the gate, but to at least influence the biology of their bodies to make it possible more quickly than it would otherwise.

 

This post has some generalizations that I'm not particularly happy with, but were the only way I could think of to communicate what "quiverful" means to me. Obviously not all Catholic families are x-way, and all quiverful families are y-way ... and honestly as someone who has never been Christian, I can only go off of what I see and read on teh internets. And we all know how that goes LOL.

 

To sum: to me, quiverful means being open to children WHILE actively influencing one's biology towards higher fertility.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To me, it means you do not use any birth control or permanent sterilization, including NFP, and you do not use strategies or methods to make it more likely that you will conceive. You believe that God alone determines the size of your family, even if there were pregnancy losses or health concerns. I personally believe that adopting and fostering children could fit into the picture as something a person believes God has led them to do, but I have heard of some QF who believe that if the baby did not come to you the biological way, then adoption or fostering is still superseding God's will.

 

I was once QF in my thinking; I am not any longer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

See, that would describe me/us.

 

However, I wouldn't even remotely think of myself as Quiverfull. I didn't even know where in the Bible that idea is mentioned until someone said it was in the Psalms on this thread. To me there seems to be a LOT more to that mindset than just how you handle B.C.

 

There's not. There term originated about having children, viewing them as a blessing and never otherwise. Though many people who self-identify as QF are patriarchal, wear dresses, etc., that is not a specific element of being quiverful. The entire basis of the term is giving control of family size to God. If you don't agree with that or believe in that, you would have no business joining the QF e-mail loop, for example. If would be like joining this forum and then posting how homeschooling is not for you. :001_smile:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I always thought the term meant leaving your family size up to God and trusting that He knows best. This means using no birth control whatsoever (i.e. pill, iud, nfp, etc.) to prevent pregnancy as well as not purposely trying to become pregnant (i.e. weaning early, etc.). It means being content with your family size no matter how small or large.

 

I always thought this too but I think it now is more a definition of the movement rather than this more "vanilla" definition. If I followed the above description for family-size (I don't but if I did) I would no longer refer to myself as quiverfull because it now has the inclusion of a broader belief system.

 

Heather

Link to comment
Share on other sites

From here:

 

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:

and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;

so are children of the youth.

Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them (Psalm 127:3-5)

 

This is what it means to me. Simply having been blessed by the Lord to have a quiver full of children. I had never even heard of the "quiverful" movement or whatever it's called. I simply based my user name on the Bible verse as I have 5 children and feel very blessed by God to have them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I always thought the term meant leaving your family size up to God and trusting that He knows best. This means using no birth control whatsoever (i.e. pill, iud, nfp, etc.) to prevent pregnancy as well as not purposely trying to become pregnant (i.e. weaning early, etc.). It means being content with your family size no matter how small or large.

 

 

:iagree:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think there has grown a need for a distinction between a quiverful mindset and The Quiverful Movement. The former is a simple trusting in God to determine family size (I'm not sure about going into details about being led to use intervention or not), the latter is... I don't really know. I guess it is more of a community, with mentors or leaders and more permeating aspects of the lifestyle?

 

I can't say I follow either purely, I'd lean quiverful (little q) but we have used intervention to fall pregnant, so I think I'm out! :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is where it gets tricky, because how *I* think of quiverfull isn't necessarily how the rest of the world thinks of it - KWIM? Like for instance I don't think of patriarchy *at all* when I think of someone being quiverful, or having tons and tons of kids, but I know those are the connotations that it holds for many people.

 

:iagree:

 

When people talk about the quiver-full concept, I think they usually mean that they are opposed to birth control because they believe that by using it, they are refusing God's blessings. They believe this because of the scriptures that say (paraphrased) that children are a blessing and that a man who has a "full quiver" is blessed.

 

To me, however, blessings come in many forms, and children are just one of the ways God blesses His people. People who claim to be led by God need to realize that God wants us to use not only the parts of our bodies that make babies, but the common sense He gives us also.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In general, I think of Quiverfull families as people who set out to have as many children as they can. I think it's more than just not using birth control and leaving your family size to God. I tend to think of things like weaning children young so you can get pregnant again sooner and/or certain patriarchal ideas about the family when I think of being Quiverfull.

 

Maybe I think that because of how large most Quiverfull families are. I know a number of people who have just never used birth control, and very few have loads of kids. Most just have a few. My MIL never used birth control and only ended up with one. So it seems to me that in most--although certainly not all--cases just not using birth control might get you 5 or 6 kids, but won't get you 20. I do think there's an intentionality about having as many children as possible that goes along with being QF that most people I know who don't use birth control don't have.

 

I am most certainly not quiverfull. I suppose you could say I'm open to God determining the size of my family, in that if I get pregnant we'll welcome the baby. #3 was most certainly God's idea, not ours! (We were using condoms, I was still nursing DD, and she was just 5 months old when I got pregnant.) But, we do use family planning, and I feel completely okay about it. I do think that all babies are blessings; I just don't think that wanting to time those blessings or stop at a certain number of blessing is bad or wrong. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe I think that because of how large most Quiverfull families are. I know a number of people who have just never used birth control, and very few have loads of kids. Most just have a few. My MIL never used birth control and only ended up with one. So it seems to me that in most--although certainly not all--cases just not using birth control might get you 5 or 6 kids, but won't get you 20. I do think there's an intentionality about having as many children as possible that goes along with being QF that most people I know who don't use birth control don't have.

 

 

 

I disagree. I have 7 dc, and when #7 was born I had 5 that were 7 and under. We did *nothing* to try and get pregnant (other than the obvious:tongue_smilie:) - I breastfed on demand, co-slept, etc. When he was born, I was 33. I could easily have ended up with another 7!:001_huh: We decided not to.:D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In general, I think of Quiverfull families as people who set out to have as many children as they can. I think it's more than just not using birth control and leaving your family size to God. I tend to think of things like weaning children young so you can get pregnant again sooner and/or certain patriarchal ideas about the family when I think of being Quiverfull.

 

Maybe I think that because of how large most Quiverfull families are. I know a number of people who have just never used birth control, and very few have loads of kids. Most just have a few. My MIL never used birth control and only ended up with one. So it seems to me that in most--although certainly not all--cases just not using birth control might get you 5 or 6 kids, but won't get you 20. I do think there's an intentionality about having as many children as possible that goes along with being QF that most people I know who don't use birth control don't have.

 

When I was hanging out in cyberspace with QF people, I did not find this to be the case at all. IRL, I only know a couple of families that embrace the QF philosophy and they are not as you're describing, either.

 

You also have to note that if someone marries when they are quite young and then both have good fertility rates, the odds are good that they will have much larger families than average. Michelle Duggar was seventeen when she got married - and they did even use birth control for the first 4 years of their marriage! So - yeah - if someone never prevents, continues to have an active tea-brewing life and is fertile for 25 years, chances are, they will have many kids. There's also the event of twins - Michelle has had two sets of twins and I have seen that often in big families.

 

When I was on the QF list, there were not a lot of people who had 12+ kids, but there were a lot of families in the 6-9 range, while the parents were not even far into their 30s.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I was hanging out in cyberspace with QF people, I did not find this to be the case at all. IRL, I only know a couple of families that embrace the QF philosophy and they are not as you're describing, either.

 

You also have to note that if someone marries when they are quite young and then both have good fertility rates, the odds are good that they will have much larger families than average. Michelle Duggar was seventeen when she got married - and they did even use birth control for the first 4 years of their marriage! So - yeah - if someone never prevents, continues to have an active tea-brewing life and is fertile for 25 years, chances are, they will have many kids. There's also the event of twins - Michelle has had two sets of twins and I have seen that often in big families.

 

When I was on the QF list, there were not a lot of people who had 12+ kids, but there were a lot of families in the 6-9 range, while the parents were not even far into their 30s.

 

:iagree: I know a bunch of families that fit this description.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the term allowing God to give you as many as he sees fit is a bit deceptive. I have my tubes tied but I know that I have as many as God wanted me to have. He gave me very clear signals via how my body handled pregnancy, that it was time to stop. My quiver is full. However, most of those in the movement would disagree with me.

 

Ditto; No BC and one pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage over the course of 15 years. We adopted 2, and since the finances were drained, there are no more children. For us, the lack of money was our signal that the quiver was full.

 

I think there are 2 definitions of quiverful. There is the definition and there is the movement. I'm not saying that the quiverful movement people are NOT hearing God, but I truly believe that quiverful does NOT mean 10+ kids. It means that YOUR quiver is full. So, when you are defining quiverful, are you defining the movement or the word?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...