Hard Decisions

[Mona100]

I honestly love this board at times and I honestly hate this board at times. The reason why I think that way is due to the fact I feel like I have failed my daughter. I read about all the wonderful things that you guys are doing and I just can't/haven't been able to provide. I have had to make the decision that my daughter who is supposed to be in 10th grade is really in 9th grade and we will start from there.

 

I have picked up alot of different tips and curriculum ideas from here and that is why I love this board. But the reason I hate this board at times is because I know I have messed up. Life got in the way. My life in particular.

 

We have been homeschooling now for 2 years. I never had any intention of homeschooling ever since I am a single mom and I have a full time job albeit seven on seven off. I took her out in the middle of eighth grade were we basically unschooled for the rest of the year. We read books and she did her math with the ALEKS program. Ninth grade rolls around and the first part of the semester we are sorta ok. I realize that the books I picked out for history and biology I didn't like and neither did she. For Algebra, Teaching Textbooks was a bust. I didn't feel like it was enough. So, the second semester is when everything just fell apart and that I do blame on myself. I had to finish my bachelor's degree. It was very difficult to do all three things (my school, her school, and my work) so her schooling was not up to par. The start of this school year begins and I realize we are basically doing ninth grade. I wanted to start doubling up this January and start some tenth grade stuff and I realized it would be totally unfair to her. The only problem in my mind is that she just turned 16. She would be an old 19 when she graduated high school. I've asked her about it and she is on board with this plan. She told me she wants to understand things more before moving along. And I agree with her.

 

But I just hate how it looks. I hate how I have failed her. I had to pull her out of school because of some misbehavior on her end which escalated. I feel that the past 2 years was basically getting her to not let her anger issues affect her life. Anyways, what I am trying to say she is much better emotionally but now is the time to start working on her education.

So, here is my question. Is it that big of a deal starting high school over again with a 16 year old freshman and graduate in 2015? Or do we need to buckle down and have her graduate on time in 2014? TIA!

[Susann]

Take the time and have a solid foundation. My oldest dd took off a year at the beginning of high school to buy/train a horse & prep for cross country endurance competitions. My youngest has taken off a year due to being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease her sophmore year-not quite the gap year she had in mind:glare: Oldest is in a very competitive engineering school (not anything we focused on/thought of), youngest is applying now. No one has ever mentioned their ages. Have faith that you're doing the right thing and it's not always smooth. Bet you'll be surprised at how much she's accomplished when she graduates-I know we were!!!!

[beachnut]

Well, here's my take on it. (Understand that my oldest is in 9th grade, so I can't give you advice from a mom who's already graduated one or more kids.)

 

I think you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You do what you need to do and work with what you have to do the best you can for your daughter. If the priority at the time was getting her emotionally healthy and you've succeeded, that is more important IMO than making sure she completed 9th grade math on schedule.

 

Plus, you throw into the mix that you're a single mom AND working full time AND going to college for your own degree? I say, pat yourself on the back for being a great role model for your daughter.

 

I'm not sure if you outsource any of her homeschooling, but I know that is a huge help to me (and I'm married and don't work). I realize I can't (and don't want to) teach all the high school subjects. So I do what I can and outsource the rest. (And, I outsource it all for free -- can't afford many online classes on one income. But DS takes art & symphonic band at our local high school and, as a Florida resident, we get to take online courses thru Florida Virtual School for free. Be resourceful -- you might find some free/affordable outsourcing options where you live.)

 

She sounds like she is mature enough to realize the importance of her education and will do what it takes to make sure she masters the material before moving on. And if she is on board with your plan -- even if it means graduating a bit later than expected -- then who cares how it looks?

 

If she gets to a point where she wants to work a little more to try to graduate earlier, then maybe she takes some courses in the summer or something.

 

Remember, everyone walks a different path in life. Yours (or hers) doesn't have to look like anyone else's.

 

Just my two cents. :grouphug:

[ZooRho]

I agree don't stress.

Figure out where she is and where she needs to be and then work with her to make a plan.

 

My youngest was sick twice in 2010 with hospital stays, and then for different reasons, then had physical therapy. It was a nightmare year. We really didn't do justice with his school last year SO we have decided to just say this is his sophomore year.

 

I will probably do his transcript by subjects rather than years.

[FloridaLisa]

So, here is my question. Is it that big of a deal starting high school over again with a 16 year old freshman and graduate in 2015? Or do we need to buckle down and have her graduate on time in 2014? TIA!

 

I'll start with your bottom-line question. IMO, you SHOULD start with the skills that are weak, that still need lots of work -- whether that's 9th grade or 8th grade level or what -- rather than bump her up, veneer over weak skills with content and call it 10th grade.

 

I'll come back to that, but first, I want to address this:

 

I honestly love this board at times and I honestly hate this board at times. The reason why I think that way is due to the fact I feel like I have failed my daughter. I read about all the wonderful things that

***

But I just hate how it looks. I hate how I have failed her. I had to pull her out of school because of some misbehavior on her end which escalated. I feel that the past 2 years was basically getting her to not let her anger issues affect her life. Anyways, what I am trying to say she is much better emotionally but now is the time to start working on her education.

 

This board is a wonderful resource, but do *not* let it discourage you. Remember, that you are only seeing what folks post. We don't all have off-the-charts-scoring dc playing 2 varsity sports while running their own foundation! :D

 

While culling for information here, you still need to put on the blinders and focus on your dd and your situation. For example: I have a large family. It was at times hard for me to read all of the neat things that families of onlies or two children or only older children were doing because I was spinning plates among my 7 children! So, I had to choose curriculum and a schedule that fit OUR family.

 

You have done a noble and hard task by pulling your dd from school and allowing her the space to emotionally heal. Please know that an emotionally well dd is WAAAAAYYY more important than an academically but ill-coping dd. Continue to prioritize her emotional health as you need and let the academics follow.

 

Now, back to graduating as a mature 19-year-old. First, there are many students that graduate at 19 (we redshirted several of our summer-bday kids). Also, we have friends that homeschool the first years and then reguarly put their dc in ps one or two years back. Yep. You know what? They are some of the most mature, well-balanced, academically gifted kids we know. Different strokes and it's worked very well for them.

 

I hope that you will be encouraged with the progress your dd has made and her good attitude in wanting to make sure a solid foundation is laid before moving on. The beauty of homeschooling is that you can tailor learning to your life, your child's needs and your family's goals.

 

HTH,

Lisa, single parenting right along with you.

[Gwen in VA]

I have graduated one at 19 years 2 months. We just don't hurry them out the door!

 

So take your time. No one is keeping track, and this isn't a race!

 

Enjoy the time you have.....

[Lolly]

I honestly love this board at times and I honestly hate this board at times. The reason why I think that way is due to the fact I feel like I have failed my daughter. I read about all the wonderful things that you guys are doing and I just can't/haven't been able to provide. I have had to make the decision that my daughter who is supposed to be in 10th grade is really in 9th grade and we will start from there.

 

I have picked up alot of different tips and curriculum ideas from here and that is why I love this board. But the reason I hate this board at times is because I know I have messed up. Life got in the way. My life in particular.

 

We have been homeschooling now for 2 years. I never had any intention of homeschooling ever since I am a single mom and I have a full time job albeit seven on seven off. I took her out in the middle of eighth grade were we basically unschooled for the rest of the year. We read books and she did her math with the ALEKS program. Ninth grade rolls around and the first part of the semester we are sorta ok. I realize that the books I picked out for history and biology I didn't like and neither did she. For Algebra, Teaching Textbooks was a bust. I didn't feel like it was enough. So, the second semester is when everything just fell apart and that I do blame on myself. I had to finish my bachelor's degree. It was very difficult to do all three things (my school, her school, and my work) so her schooling was not up to par. The start of this school year begins and I realize we are basically doing ninth grade. I wanted to start doubling up this January and start some tenth grade stuff and I realized it would be totally unfair to her. The only problem in my mind is that she just turned 16. She would be an old 19 when she graduated high school. I've asked her about it and she is on board with this plan. She told me she wants to understand things more before moving along. And I agree with her.

 

But I just hate how it looks. I hate how I have failed her. I had to pull her out of school because of some misbehavior on her end which escalated. I feel that the past 2 years was basically getting her to not let her anger issues affect her life. Anyways, what I am trying to say she is much better emotionally but now is the time to start working on her education.

So, here is my question. Is it that big of a deal starting high school over again with a 16 year old freshman and graduate in 2015? Or do we need to buckle down and have her graduate on time in 2014? TIA!

 

I believe if she has learned this, she has learned far more than most kids learn in high school! Do you have to make this decision right now? I wouldn't. I would just move forward. I would work straight through as much as possible. Finish algebra this school year. This summer, move on into geometry. Head straight on into alg 2 next year. Make sure she knows how to write an essay and a research paper. Read (of course!). Use summers to get some credits in. Have her go ahead and take the ACT/SAT after she finishes geometry and/or alg 2. If she scores well enough, go ahead and have her start taking classes at a community college during her last year or two of high school. That will put her back on track. Of course, you may find that working through the summers does that anyway.