HSmomNY Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 (edited) Backstory- I have been homeschooling my son(16) and my neice(16) for 11years or so. We have been planning and saving for a big family/ graduation trip to Disney world for many years. My problem is that my dn is not on track to graduate next year, She has not been doing her work. she has the ability but just does not want to do it. So what should I do?? note; she does not live with us, most of the time & she has been to Disney 10x with her mother. DS has been twice with family Edited November 6, 2011 by HSmomNY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 It's a family trip. She gets to go 'cuz she's family. If you do anything there, any sort of recognition, for graduation, she doesn't get to do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 It's a family trip. She gets to go 'cuz she's family. If you do anything there, any sort of recognition, for graduation, she doesn't get to do that. :iagree: This isn't dinner at McDonalds… it's a trip to DISNEYWORLD! :w00t: You don't leave people out of that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 The problem with postponing the trip would be that the other child will have probably moved on (college, work) and might not be available. I voted to make it a family trip instead. Sort of a last-trip-while-everyone-is-still_together thing. We did that this fall - we packed everyone up, even though DS15 had school, and flew to Colorado to visit our oldest DS. Expensive, but really worth it. We probably won't make any more of those trips with the whole family and it was a great celebration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 If it were your dd , I'd say take her. But this is a niece. She doesn't do the work, she doesn't go. or - she comes, but has to pay her own way? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 If it were your dd , I'd say take her. But this is a niece. She doesn't do the work, she doesn't go. or - she comes, but has to pay her own way? I think maybe she lives there? Even if she doesn't, the two teens have been homeschooled together (like siblings?) for eleven years…. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Backstory- I have been homeschooling my son(16) and my neice(16) for 11years or so. We have been planning and saving for a big family/ graduation trip to Disney world for many years. My problem is that my dn is not on track to graduate next year, She has not been doing her work. she has the ability but just does not want to do it. So what should I do?? note; she does not live with us, most of the time & she has been to Disney 10x with her mother. DS has been twice with family I wouldn't take her if she didn't do the work. She doesn't live with you and she has been many more times than your son. I would tell her she has until X date to complete the required material if she wants to be included in the trip. Failure to complete the work before the deadline means she doesn't get to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 OK I voted to take her on the trip, but I had not read all of your post. I just now saw that she doesn't live with you and she has been to disney with her mom. Don't take her. Obviously, there's a reason you are homeschooling her and there are implications in the family dynamic, but without knowing more, I don't think she should go. I would question taking her even if she was graduating "on time". Shouldn't the graduation trip be from the family she lives with. If they've been 10 times I doubt she'd appreciate the sacrifice of bringing her along with your immediate family. You can have a cake and ice cream grad celebration for ds at home. Niece and her family can attend that. If niece gets her act together you can add her name to the cake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 OK I voted to take her on the trip, but I had not read all of your post. I just now saw that she doesn't live with you and she has been to disney with her mom. Don't take her. Obviously, there's a reason you are homeschooling her and there are implications in the family dynamic, but without knowing more, I don't think she should go. I would question taking her even if she was graduating "on time". Shouldn't the graduation trip be from the family she lives with. If they've been 10 times I doubt she'd appreciate the sacrifice of bringing her along with your immediate family. You can have a cake and ice cream grad celebration for ds at home. Niece and her family can attend that. If niece gets her act together you can add her name to the cake. ITA. I didn't read the whole OP carefully, either. My bad. The niece stays home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lulubelle Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Initially I thought to not take her, but then I thought it would be best if it were up to your son. He is the one that should be celebrating and all his choice. Would it disappoint him if she didn't go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 If it were your dd , I'd say take her. But this is a niece. She doesn't do the work, she doesn't go. or - she comes, but has to pay her own way? :iagree: the op did say neice has been there 10x with her own mother. it's not like she's not familiar with the place. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 :iagree: the op did say neice has been there 10x with her own mother. it's not like she's not familiar with the place. . . :iagree: This isn't a 6 year old. And she's clearly been there plenty of times. I'd leave her behind if she doesn't do the work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 She doesn't live with you? Nope, I wouldn't take her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2why Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 (edited) Actions have consequences. Do you have to decide now? Is it possible for her to graduate next year if she gets back on track? Is this going to come out of the blue or does she know she isn't on track to graduate? If I were her I would be more upset about not graduating on time than the Disney trip. My other thought is the family dynamic. Is this going to cause more trouble between you and her parents or her and your son than the lesson is worth? Only you can decide that. I noticed that you said she doesn't live with you "most of the time". To me that means she lives with you some of the time, so I would hesitate even more to leave her behind on a family trip. Other people are going besides you and the graduate. Edited November 7, 2011 by In2why Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 This isn't a 6 year old. And she's clearly been there plenty of times. I'd leave her behind if she doesn't do the work. :iagree: I wouldn't even consider taking her, honestly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I voted before you added that she didn't live w/ you and she has been multiple times. I change my vote to don't take her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I'm not sure how to vote. Would you take her with you if she was on track? Would you postpone if it was your son who wasn't on track? You used a slash mark between family and graduation but which word has more emphasis? Is this a family trip where you will also celebrate graduation, or a graduation trip that includes all the family? And when is the trip? Are we talking a year or more away? Are you needing to decide right now so you can tell her to shape up or she'll miss the trip? I don't know your family dynamics, but if you want a family trip with just your son, I don't see why you need to bring along your niece just because you homeschool her. Are there are other nieces and nephews that won't be going? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myeightkiddies Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 If you postpone the trip until she graduates, you are, in a manner, punishing your son for being responsible and working hard. You need to inform her that the trip is only for those graduating as it is a graduation trip. Post the date on the wall near where they do their lessons. She has time to get her act together. She may go only if she completes all your requirements for graduation. The trip is an absolute - have all requirements met and go/don't meet requirements and do not go. I understand that you are reluctant to not permit her to go as it may hurt her feelings or cause family issues. However, you are not doing her any favors by rewarding her for being irresponsible. The choice, now, is in her hands. Only she can determine if she goes on the trip. Inform her parents of such. Keep stating that the choice is up to her and it is her decision - meet requirements and go or don't and don't. Don't postpone. Don't alter the requirements. Help her get back on track. Encourage her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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