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Those of you that homeschool AND use public/private school-


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What factors played into your decision to use both?

 

Did you pull a child (or children) OUT of school and leave their sibling(s) in?

 

Or did you consciously choose to send one or more to school and homeschool the other(s)?

 

I'm thinking ahead to next year, when my DD will be 5 and out of preschool. Homeschooling was the right choice for my son, and I certainly don't think homeschooling would be BAD for my daughter (on the contrary, I think she would be a wonderful student), but I'm not sure that homeschooling BOTH of them would meet the needs of either one. DS has some emotional and neurological issues that make him very high-need, distractable, and explosive, and it takes a lot out of ME to homeschool him well. I worry that they will both get the short end of the stick if they are both at home- either because they will sabotage each other, or *I* won't be able to handle it.

 

FWIW, I am not anti-school, and the particular school that we are zoned for is really wonderful, a true neighborhood school wtih progressive stuff going on that meshes really well with my family's values. No, I'm not oblivious to the problems (academic or otherwise) that plague even the best public schools ;), but this school meets MY standard of good- or good ENOUGH, considering the mitigating factors in my particular situation.

 

So, I don't want to hear any school bashing, but I WOULD like to hear about other people who were in a similar situation and made homeschooling work for ALL of their children, and how you did this.

 

I'd also like to hear stories of people who made homeschooling and public schooling work together.

 

Thanks! :)

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My oldest is in a private school now after being homeschooled for all previous years. I am still homeschooling my 11yo and 6yo children.

 

The driving factor was that dh did not want her homeschooled through high school. I disagreed with him at first, but honestly, now I am happy that she is in school. I feel relieved of the responsibility of doing a good (or great) high school program while I'm still teaching my youngest the basics.

 

I am very satisfied with our current situation.

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DS20 went to public school all the way thru to graduation.

DD17 went to public school all the way until her senior year this year, when she chose to homeschool.

DS15 went to public school until 5th grade, was homeschooled 5th thru 8th, and is now in public school again.

DD10 went to public school for K/1st and has homeschoooled ever since.

 

We make our decision based on what is best for the child at the time. DD17 wanted more time for music this year. DS15 was struggling terribly in 5th grade and needed a few years of less stress and more concentrated academics. We pulled him out mid-year and left the others in public school. DD10 has health issues and was bored stiff in public school - being home lets her keep on track when she isn't feeling well and also gives her the chance to move along at her own pace.

 

There is no "rule" that says you can't homeschool some and have others in public school. You have to make the choices that work best for your kids and your family.

Edited by AK_Mom4
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When they were preschool age, both of my dc wanted to go to school. We let them go, knowing the day would come when they would desire an education the school could not provide (2 highly gifted kids in a state without gifted funding or mandates.) Near the end of second grade, my oldest was frustrated and ready to really learn something and finally said he was ready to be homeschooled. We had him finish out the year in public school and began homeschooling this fall.

 

Our youngest is still happily enjoying first grade public school and we are fine with that. I realize it's a bizarre way to lead into homeschooling, but we just wanted to wait until they really desired a formal education. You just have to do what works best for each individual child.

 

I can also say that the school has been perfectly amicable about our decision and our son still attends speech therapy sessions at the school (during the SLP's lunch hour- her suggestion, not mine!)

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DS is in 'third grade' at home and has been home since 'first grade;' DD is in first grade at a private school. I brought DS home because of his issues that sound similar to your DS', but DD is a happy-go-lucky, social creature who enjoys competition and being at the top of her class, so I left her in private. The hardest part for me is working out how to get it all done with both HS and PS. With HS, extracurricular activities can be schedule during the day, sure, but then there are the errands to run, the academics to consider, and the group events to attend. With PS, lessons have to be after school and there are all the other things to keep up with like book fairs, festivals, etc. So it seems like I never do catch a break and errands usually get pushed off until the weekends, which means we spend all weekend running around before another week begins. The kids occasionally get jealous of one another, too... DS might get to go to the zoo, for example, or DD will come home with a bag of treats from a Halloween party. So while you might get the best of both worlds, you also get the worst.

 

To be honest, I am considering bringing DD home. This is the first year I've ever really thought about that because I really had not thought that I could HS her with any degree of efficacy. She's an entirely different person to DS and her needs and his are polar opposite. He likes a set schedule and doesn't mind if he goes months without seeing another kid his age; she is a fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants type and will go crazy if she doesn't stay in contact with her friends regularly. The curriculum choices that I make for him wouldn't work for her, either... I know for a fact that Math-U-See would bore her to tears and that she'd be infinitely happier with something like Math Mammoth. I've just now gotten to the point where I have enough confidence in my ability to both parent and homeschool both children and feel like bringing her home would have a positive effect on the family instead of causing extra chaos.

 

If DS ever wanted to go back to a public or private school, I would consider that, too. Ultimately the decision is mine, of course, but he's 9 and old enough and mature enough to consider all the positive and negative aspects of what he's considering to help make a good decision. I don't think he'd ever choose to go back, but I'd let him if that's what he really wanted. I try to evaluate our family's needs year by year and go from there. You just have to do what is going to work best and help the family flow smoothly! :)

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We kept all of our children in public school through 2nd grade, because they were in a sweet, multi-age (K-2) class with a great teacher (plus, our kids could be together in the same class, which we liked). After that, we homeschooled them through the middle school years. Once they were high school age, they usually took a couple (sometimes three) courses/year at the public school, courses that I didn't feel I could teach as well at home: upper level sciences, foreign languages, and choir. We are in a small town, and there are no homeschool co-ops, etc.

It has worked out well for us, and we have a good relationship with the schools.

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Both my ds's are at private school but had been homeschooled previously. We decided to send them when homeschooling was hindering our relationships. My older son had a particularly difficult time as he wanted to separate mom from teacher but couldn't. Going away to school really helped him grow in his relationship with dh and me.

 

Dd is homeschooled. There is a 7-year gap between her and my younger ds. She is one of these creative types who needs time and space to be herself. Homeschooling is best for her at this time.

 

We've known a couple of families that homeschooled their older dd but sent the younger one to public school. In both cases the older had some learning issues that could be dealt with better at home where there was more freedom and flexibility in learning. The younger ones thrived in the ps environment and loved it there.

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My answer would depend on your question.

 

I would also take into account student need, parental desire to homeschool, ability of parent to utilize private school, parental desire not to hs, the schools avialable etc etc When one has true options, there is far more to consider.

Edited by LibraryLover
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For me, homeschooling has always been my first choice. However, we finally made the decision to put our son in school; he just finished his first week. He has struggled for a long time, but I always thought school would make his issues worse (quick, violent temper, easily frustrated, impulsive, sneaky, etc). Lately, though, he has been bullying his sister past what I would consider normal sibling rivalry, and it finally got to the point that I didn't feel like keeping him home would be safe for her. It turns out, the structure and positive peer pressure he has in school have been really helpful for him. He thrives on predictability and order, and I haven't been able to provide that to the degree that he needs it.

 

Part of me wishes I'd put him in earlier...part of me hopes I'll be able to bring him home at the end of the year...I am loving how much less stressful my life is now that he's in school, though. He probably took about 75-80% of my attention (on a good day) and wanted constant attention and help. I actually think he might have ADD, but I want to see if being at school is enough to get him on track. I should add that we are in one of the top school districts in Western WA...the few that are as good as ours are in the wealthiest neighborhoods in the Seattle/Bellevue area. If his school wasn't so good, we would possibly be looking at a very different outcome.

 

Anyway, all that to say I don't think there's an easy answer. I believe strongly in homeschooling. I also believe in doing what's best for my kids...and sometimes those aren't the same thing. I don't intend to put my other kids in school (except for band and maybe sports)....I don't have any reason to.

 

So far, the hardest part has been that our school's schedule and our co-op's schedule aren't always the same, and we haven't been there long enough yet to make friends who can watch him when the girls and I have co-op and he doesn't have school. So there's that.

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My 21 year old daughter went to public schools.

 

My 15 year old daughter went to public schools until last year. I pulled her out when her high school refused to put her on independent study for her school related anxiety. She's homeschooled now and since pulling her from public school she hasn't had to take any anti-anxiety medicine. She went from having an anxiety attack every day to having none.

 

My 14 year old daughter goes to public high school.

 

I also have an 11 year old son. I pulled him from public school last week. He's in 5th grade and has severe dyslexia. I have been working with before and after school since April to improve his reading. In that time he went up a whole grade level. It took his public school six years to get him to a 1.5 reading level and with afterschooling and working over the summer we brought him up to a 2.5 reading level in six months. I know homeschooling is the right choice for him!

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I suspect we have a somewhat similar situation. I have a ds (9) with high functioning autism. He would love to stay home with his 3 siblings for school and is actually pretty jealous about it. It's hard seeing that but so far I've kept him in school for several reasons. He is in a regular class and mostly does grade level work (has a normal IQ) but he has comprehension and attention issues that require extra support (he has a one on one aide in the classroom).

 

Also, it's just been blood, sweat and tears to get him (behaviorally) where he can function in a regular class without being disruptive (he would get up and try to run out of the class or just wouldn't do what the other kids were doing). The first district told us he'd never be in a regular class and we moved to 3 different districts to get him the expensive therapies he needed (ABA) and spent a lot of $ on legal fees.

 

I'm afraid if I brought him home and needed to send him back he wouldn't be able to (behaviorally) plus if we give up the services he has now they would be hard to get back (legally the burden of proof would be on us whereas right now it's on the school if they want to pull his very expensive services).

 

Finally the other thing I worry about is the impact on my other kids. They deserve an education too. I'm afraid he would take up 90% of the time/attention (which is why he needs the 1:1 aide).

 

But yeah I feel guilty about it because he has made it plain he wants what his siblings have.

Edited by MyHandsAreFull
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The hardest part for me is working out how to get it all done with both HS and PS. With HS, extracurricular activities can be schedule during the day, sure, but then there are the errands to run, the academics to consider, and the group events to attend. With PS, lessons have to be after school and there are all the other things to keep up with like book fairs, festivals, etc. So it seems like I never do catch a break and errands usually get pushed off until the weekends, which means we spend all weekend running around before another week begins. The kids occasionally get jealous of one another, too... DS might get to go to the zoo, for example, or DD will come home with a bag of treats from a Halloween party. So while you might get the best of both worlds, you also get the worst.

 

:iagree:

 

We started my 3rd grader in private school this year, which is what we had loosely planned all along. Our reasons for homeschooling were that we just didn't see the point in sending older dd off to school at 4. We wanted to have more family time, to travel with dh for his work, and to give them more free time. It was a good age to start her and she has transitioned well.

 

In an ideal world, we would do the same with my kindy dd. BUT... It is much harder than I thought it would be to straddle both worlds. Younger dd doesn't have a playmate like older dd and she gets lonely. I can't volunteer at older dd's school, because I have things I need to do with younger. Speech, errands, ......um....SCHOOL. And I still want her to go to the park and zoo and the other things that I think a kindergartner should do. I still prefer running errands during the school day. Stores and traffic mean it takes a fraction of the time as nights or weekends. I have even MORE need to clean house during the day, because our nights are busier. The resuls is that it's looking more and more like younger dd will start school for first. But I don't have a specific reason (learning differences, medical issues, etc...) to keep one home. If I did, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Edited by snickelfritz
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I tried to reply last night.

 

My two oldest homeschooled all the way through. We are hoping to have three more adopted in February (are foster kids now). It will not be in the best interest of the three to be home together for a LONG time. So despite my beliefs about homeschooling, that issue must be addressed first and foremost. In time, I hope to bring them all home, but who and when has not yet been decided.

 

I may pull the youngest out this month or next (doc, therapist, etc on board; just have to get permission from caseworker which shouldn't be an issue) for the rest of the year. He will return either next fall or the following though. Hard to explain, but I don't expect that pulling him out is a forever situation, just possibly a temporarily necessary one.

 

I actually feel the best about leaving the oldest in which is kinda a surprise to me. We are doing really well with before/after schooling and I believe we can continue doing so. And as with so many things, I'm just not sure how I feel about our options with the middle kiddo. For now, he's doing well and I want him to go to school next year. We'll see past that.

 

But again, our biggest hurdle is that, though I can see bringing them all home, they simply cannot be together all day every day.

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My observations: homeschooling is NOT for everyone. To be done well, it takes a level of commitment and work that some parents are unwilling or unable to provide. I'll also observe that homeschool a high school age child has been very difficult for me, in my case because the child did not wish to follow my lead, do the work I assigned, and basically co-operate. Since he strongly felt he did not wish to attend PS, he's taking classes from college or other sources. He does a bit better with the compliance thing in that setting, but not much : )

 

I have a ninth grader in a good math science magnet school this fall, after homeschooling him since third grade. It is not an easy school, he's taking one AP already this year, and he's learning that Mom was not so mean after all. :001_smile: I am not planning to homeschool him again-he too was getting way too uncooperative and I don't feel like dealing with it, particularly because we have a good PS option available to us.

 

I do have concerns, many concerns, about the social atmosphere in school, about the kinds of values that seem to be embraced, but I also find homeschooling a challenging high schooler to be, frankly, exhausting. I just don't think I'm up for it again, as long as the school's education and social atmosphere is acceptable, which for us, right now, it is.

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We told both of our boys it was up to them after about 6th grade when they wanted to go back to PS. We always knew DS15 wanted to go to highschool, and we all decided 8th grade would be an easier transition, so that's when he went.

We are fortunate to live in what is considered to be one of the best school districts in the state, so while I wasn't thrilled (I still think he would get more academics here), I knew I couldn't replicate high school.

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My older children have wanted to try school so that is where they are. We live rurally, and i think they left socially isolated.

 

My daughter started in grade 7 and son in grade 10.

 

Personally, I am happier with starting in grade 10 (9 would have been fine as well) rather than 7, for the following reasons:

 

-middle school is a hormonal cess poll :tongue_smilie:

-I have been much more impressed with the academics in my sons grade 10 than in my daughters grade 7 and now 8. He has teachers that specialise in their subject - my daughter does not. Ex: her art teacher is not an art teacher, but a French/social Studies /Art teacher -all they have done thus far is colour. Gah!

 

My youngest is 8. She has not asked to go to school yet, but it is doubtful I would let her until she were older (ideally grade 9). The schools in this area have a sufficiently different belief system to mine that we would be bashing heads or I would be gnashing my teeth all the time. It is not worth it.

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I homeschooled all my children up until 2 years ago. My oldest went to ps starting in 8th grade and my middle ds went to ps last year in 7th grade. I still homeschool my youngest.

 

My oldest needed to go to school to be able to play his sport at the high school level because there were no homeschool or community options for competing at a high level unless in high school. My middle ds went to school because he wanted to try it when he saw all the fun his brother was having and I saw no reason for him not to. He now has interest in sports as well and the transition to school was a wonderful fit for him.

 

Right now my plans are to continue homeschooling my dd. Her interests are best pursued with homeschooling which allows her time to practice, do school at a high level, and still have time to be a kid.

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As others have said, we do what's best for the individual child. All of mine have been in ps, all of them have been homeschooled. I have one that went to private school last year for 8th grade, and is now thriving at the local ps high school. My two dds are at home, w/ plans for one of them to go to 8th ps next year. Her twin has no desire to ever go to ps, so I'm considering private high school or homeschool co-op for her. We shall see.

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