Supporting husband as a business owner

[duckabell]

My husband recently started a business. It's something that he's always wanted to do and the opportunity presented itself -- not particularly in the timing and way we envisioned, but we feel it's right for us to do this now. He's now a freelancer/consultant and is gaining clients with contacts he has in his industry. He hopes to one day offer products along with his services, but right now he will be primarily a service provider.

 

My questions are for those whose husbands have started a business or who co-own a business with their spouse.

 

How do you support them and fulfill all of your other roles as well?

 

How involved are you with the business?

 

Do you help with bookkeeping or in other aspects of the business and if so are you a partner or employee of the business?

 

How do you handle the ups and downs and at times financial insecurity?

 

Is homeschooling easier or harder because of owning your own business?

 

I think those are my questions right now but if anyone had any other insights or advice that would help as well. I'm really excited for my husband and our family at this time and I know he will do well. I just want to make sure that I'm helping him and supporting him even though at times I'm a bit overwhelmed with the whole situation. In the end, I know it will all work out.

[caitlinsmom]

We purchased a business earlier this year so keep that in mind when I give advice. :)

 

The financial insecurity has been very very had to handle for me. Our industry is seasonal with certain peak times that historically have carried the business through slow times. We never hit peak this year because the previous owners changed advertising. Needless to say that I am unbelievably stressed when I think of the next coming months. However, next year we plan to pay bills on a yearly basis as the money comes in. This will allow us more breathing room come slow times. We also plan on saving as much as possible as well as paying all debts off (as much as possible) to relive any possible strain.

 

We also purchased the business after a 1.5 year unemployment. This has proved especially difficult because we were not caught up on bills nor had a savings before we took over the company. We walked into it without any sort of financial security. If you have the option I would make sure that you have a nest egg of some sort to help float through the tough times. If you don't, take advantage of paying off debts as you get influxes of money as well as saving. This will help tremendously during slim times.

 

My husband does the physical work for our company while I do all the back office work. I process invoices, manage taxes, bookkeeping, etc. This works very well for us as it plays to each of our strong skills.

 

Homeschooling has become easier for us. My dh has time off frequently so he will take our ds while I school with dd. We cut our schooling time in half. Our business situation has also made it possible for dh to take part in our co-op. We have also been able to trade services with others to cover special activities for the kids (ie trade with the riding instructor for lessons). This takes some of the financial strain off the extra curricular portion of our homeschooling.

 

Overall being self employed has been a huge blessing. We have a lot more flexibility in our day to day life as well as better income possibilities than ever before. It is hard work and we have had more than a few sleepless nights because of finances. In the end it always works out. Our decision to purchase the business had to be made in 2 days. We really hoped we weren't making the wrong choice. We have been very happy with the choice we made and we look forward to owning it for many years to come.

 

Good luck. Its a tough transition but you can do it.

[Lara in Colo]

Support:

 

that all depends on the dynamics of your relationship.

Dh and I did OK in some areas, terrible in others.

I could not do his books, we had a terrible time and lots of fights.

I eventually did something he didn't know how to do, and thus couldn't micromanage me so much.

I eventually left to be a mother full time.

 

Homeschooling, like everything else is harder, mainly because money and time are not a prime commodity.

You have to learn to save as much as you can, pay up your bills during the fat times, because the lean times will be difficult. Most new (and old) businesses have up and down times. I do stuff like: pay the car insurance up (yearly if possible) because it is so important and I cannot let it slide a month. I have my pantry and freezer packed because there are times I have 300.00 for groceries and times I have 25.00 for groceries, a packed pantry keeps everthing on an even keel.

Same with HSing, buy your books when you can--or have a separate account set aside for them.

My DH works lots!!! So school is all on my shoulders. I work out ways for the children to "visit" with their father--they write him notes about their day on the board and he writes them back, since he comes home after they are asleep and leaves before they wake.

 

Mostly I try to never put too many demands on him and his time. You cannot get your feeling too hurt when he cannot come home for your birthday because the house payment must be earned. I've also learned not to push when the times are bad ( not just money, sometimes stress is from other things), he'll come around and talk about it when he can.

 

Here is another important thing, don't always wait for the right time to do stuff--it'l never come. So visit the relatives at Christmas even though money is tight. Go camping even though the customer is complaining about the job not finished. When money is good, he is too busy, when he's not busy, money is tight.

 

I hope you hav such success that you never have to take this advice, but just in case....

 

 

Lara

[Lolly]

Mainly, by not nagging and complaining. He works long hours. He works every single day. I do not help in his business, but I keep home running smoothly. I handle every single little thing other than the office. I try to let home be a place he can get away from work, though it does sometimes follow him here too.

[MamaT]

My dh is a business owner and works very long hours. The way I support him is to keep things running smoothly on the home front. I do all the driving to activities, picking up, doctor, dentist, etc. I make sure I have a smile and a hot dinner when he gets home. I don't bug him with problems around here unless I'm at the end of my rope, which is very rare.

[Mommyfaithe]

Dh and I have been doing this for 6 years. His business is growing....but, I should say our business. I am exhausted, grumpy, tired, used up, nasty feeling right now because...well, I am.

 

I need to step up ( which would mean my kids have to go to school)....or step down.... ( which dh does NOT want me to do).

 

I would love to be the support system that keeps the house, schools the kids, Looks sexy at night, Has great meals on the table....and he expects all that in addition to me working 40-50 hours a week in our business. He does not do any of the schooling, but does cook. He will do outdoor maintenance...and clean up after himself....but not help me with the kids stuff...laundry, dishes etc.

 

I am not trying to paint him as an ogre. I love him and he is my best friend. He means it all well. He works as hard as he expects us all to work. He is never on the couch watching tv and drinking a beer. He is a great provider and does not mandate over us.

 

That's the good and bad.

 

I hate our business. Hate it!! But, it is what dh does. It is a high liability, hard service industry. We deal with people when they are at their worst...when they have no heat or a/c or water....or their house is filled with soot etc. I am a terrible introvert...and I need to play an extrovert in my business role. I am usually a little high strung....but need to play the calm one on the phone. This business goes against every fiber of my being.....but it is what he knows....what he is an expert in.....what he makes money doing. It is honest work. It is grueling work. It is what we do.

 

So, before volunteering to help or support in your dh's business....ask yourself what your boundaries will be. Ask yourself what you are willing to give up to do this....ask yourself if you are willing to give up yourself. Ask yourself what your kids will have to give up...and what they will learn and gain from the experience of a family business. Weigh it all in....then make your decision.

Faithe.

[StephanieZ]

My husband recently started a business. It's something that he's always wanted to do and the opportunity presented itself -- not particularly in the timing and way we envisioned, but we feel it's right for us to do this now. He's now a freelancer/consultant and is gaining clients with contacts he has in his industry. He hopes to one day offer products along with his services, but right now he will be primarily a service provider.

 

How do you support them and fulfill all of your other roles as well?

 

Work really, really hard, especially for the first 2 years. We both killed ourselves, dh working 100+ hrs/wk, me working 50+ hrs/wk, and had to hire a lot of help at home. It sucked bad. It gets easier if business is successful, as ours has been.

 

How involved are you with the business?

 

We didn't start out thinking I'd be involved much at all, other than bringing by a plate of cookies occasionally. At first I just helped with some strategic thinking/ideas (we always work together on that stuff), and helped him set up the books. Within 3 months, we realized I needed to work FT managing if we were going to survive, so I did that until I trained enough help that I now can work just 5-10 hours a week total, only 4-6 of those hours at the office, and on my own schedule. The rest is time from home/emails/etc. *However*, if something were to happen to my brilliant and wonderful Office Mgr that I've spent 5 years training, I'd have to work FT for 6-12 mos until a replacement was trained, and then I'd be able to ease back over a couple years to where I am now. It tooke me 3+ years to get my OM where she is now. Good help is PRECIOUS and I treat it so.

 

Do you help with bookkeeping or in other aspects of the business and if so are you a partner or employee of the business?

 

Per our legal advice, I am a full partner in corp we set up that owns the real estate (which is actually the most $$ valuable aspect of the business) and I am an employee (and board member and officer . . . We just have the two of us on the board, he's the pres. and I am the V.P) of the other corp we set up that owns the business itself. This was the legal/CPA advice we got when we set up. It would simplify the sale of the business later when dh decides to retire.

We've been married so long that I would not worry about the $$ aspects of ownership, as it's community property and I have equal rights to it no matter how it is titled. If this is also the case in your state (and the length of your marriage), then I wouldn't worry about how it is titled so long as you get legal/CPA advice.

 

How do you handle the ups and downs and at times financial insecurity?

 

Not very well, but it gets easier. The first two years were TRULY the hardest years of our lives and our marriage. We're at 7 years now, and thing are getting easier as the economy is improving locally and our particular business is doing very well. I should have started running 7 years ago. It would have saved me a lot of stress.

 

Is homeschooling easier or harder because of owning your own business?

 

Easier. Despite the pressures of work, at the end of the day, dh and I call all the shots. We can take off when we want, and we can bring kid(s) to work as we desire or need. We also have a bunch of people who work for us and are happy to do personal favors (on the clock, of course) as part of their jobs, but that varies depending on locale and personalities involved. Anyway, as it is, we can easily get someone to fetch a child, deliver something, etc, as needed. Also, we earn more $$ as business owners than we would have w/o the business, so we have more $$ to do hs stuff.

 

I think those are my questions right now but if anyone had any other insights or advice that would help as well. I'm really excited for my husband and our family at this time and I know he will do well. I just want to make sure that I'm helping him and supporting him even though at times I'm a bit overwhelmed with the whole situation. In the end, I know it will all work out.

 

Good luck. Be strong. It is a hard road, but it has a lot of great things about it. Be smart. TAX PLAN as there are a lot of taxes that can surprise you. If you feel flush, put it IN THE BANK for 6 mos and at least until the next April 15 before spending any extra, b/c you might be SHOCKED at various expenses and taxes. Carve out some sacred "no work talk" time each week or your heads will explode. One dinner, or one date, or something. Take care of YOURSELF so you can nourish your family and marriage. It is a LONG ROAD and you can't be a martyr for that long.

[duckabell]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I'd still love to hear more. Having been through school for many years and a low-paying job together, I know that we are good at being frugal and will need to figure out how to manage hill and valley income and expenses more. Thanks for the suggestion about the freezer. That is something we have seriously considered and will plan on buying in the next few months.

 

I think my most serious concern is the fact that we want to have another child soon and saving up the money for that. We may or may not qualify for Medicaid, but either way we need to save up money for a birth center birth and also start putting money into an HSA to go with our health insurance plan. We also want to save up at least 3-6 months in emergency fund and finish paying off our student loan within the next few years. We were making good progress on that and payed off about 20 percent of it in about six months, but now that will be just minimal payments until our income is more steady.

 

MommyFaithe, thanks for the suggestion about how much to put myself into the business. Right now I am working part-time from home and have increased my hours due to our current income situation. I know that I can't help DH too much with his business with me working about 15-hour weeks at my job, but I'd like to help a little and perhaps in the future it will help us more overall for me to help with the business. I also just want to mainly be a mother to my kids and keep the ship running at home.

[gardenmom5]

dh works from home with his own business - the hardest thing was learning to deal with him being home so much. He does have a regular business owners meeting/errands day, and other days he can be meeting with clients. his schedule is totally unpredicatable. I generally, just plan my day, and if he's there he is, and if not he isn't.

 

I haven't been invovled with the business, though one dd did work for him as a subcontractor for a year. (we talked her into keeping her license which must be regularly renewed.). I have one friend who worked for her husband's business/co-owner, but did not take a salary. I think there was a tax advantage or something. (when she was too stressed, she also went out and started her own business, which she later sold.)

 

I can't give advice on dealing with the stress, other than focus on the trend, not the "daily/weekly" reports. shut down all non-esstential spending until the business is up and running. you would be surprised how much of what we think is essential, isn't.

 

Dh's been doing this particular business for four years, and he is currently bringing in more money than any time in his career, adjusted for inflation. that said, it did start out slow. He has also been doing this long enough, he is entirely referral so he doesn't have to advertise. He also tries to make sure he *always* answers his phone for a client - even if it's just to take their name and number and call them back. He uses his cell for incoming business calls - that way he can be reached by clients where ever he is. He has a longdistance land-line for outgoing calls.

 

I have had a hard time getting through to him, he is absolutely under NO condition to come into the room I'm homeschooling in. (my son is special needs and easily distracted to the point it's very hard to get him "back".). He is also not allowed to have clients or reps at our house when I'm schooling.

[ereks mom]

Mainly, by not nagging and complaining. He works long hours. He works every single day. I do not help in his business, but I keep home running smoothly. I handle every single little thing other than the office. I try to let home be a place he can get away from work, though it does sometimes follow him here too.

 

:iagree:

 

Dh started his own business in 2004; he writes character curriculum and teaches personal and professional development classes. At first, he worked from home, and later, he rented an office space. At the start, it was LONG, LONG hours and not much pay. It has gotten a lot better over the last two years. The first 5 years were by far the worst so far; in 2009 the business finally showed a meager profit. Dh is also a bivocational pastor, and he has worked part-time as an instructor at a small Christian college when they've needed him to teach a class, so that is how we have been able to make ends meet.

 

Dh & I view his business as a ministry. I am as committed to it as he is, although he does almost all the work. He will run ideas past me, and I will occasionally proofread a page or two for him, but the work is mostly his. Now that the dc are older, they have actually become more involved in the curriculum-writing. They have taken dh's basic adult program and edited it to produce a separate program for use by teens and young adults. The dc and I used to take care of the janitorial work at the office, and we also managed the snack bar, but now he has someone else who does those things. He has hired two part-time people to handle different aspects of the business: one manages the office & snack bar, pays the bills, and handles correspondence & phone calls; the other handles student registrations & enrollment.

 

I pray for dh daily, I encourage him when he's down, and I try to make life at home as stress-free as possible. Dh is still very involved in things at home. He spends time with us, fixes the things that break (or calls a repairman), and he takes out the trash ;) I am in charge of meals and housework, and I enlist EK's help with those things, and ER's help too, when he's home.

 

Homeschooling has always been my responsibility, and dh supports me, prays for me, and encourages me in that, just as I do for him. ER graduated in 2008, but I still teach EK, and I've also taken on another student who comes to our house each day for school. We do not pay bills with the money that I earn; I use some for extras like occasionally going to a movie or out to eat, some goes into savings to be used for vacations or Christmas, and some is just "mad money" for me.

Edited November 5, 2011 by ereks mom

[Amy Jo]

Wanted to thank everyone for the responses, my DH has started his own business, and it's tough. He also had a year of unemployment, so we had no reserves. The hardest thing for me is his completely unpredictable schedule! Thanks everyone.

[justamouse]

If it weren't for my full support way back when, when we made NOTHING for a whole year, where I held down the fort while he spent 16 hour days working and weekends, where we practically gave away the first house we owned, we wouldn't be where we are.

 

It requires your sacrifice, too. It requires you not being with him, doing a lot yourself, not complaining, and most of all, being vigilant in your protection of his time off.

[Plink]

Mainly, by not nagging and complaining. He works long hours. He works every single day. I do not help in his business, but I keep home running smoothly. I handle every single little thing other than the office. I try to let home be a place he can get away from work, though it does sometimes follow him here too.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

I participate in the business only for special projects. I occasionally create documents, host staff parties (we have a fairly large group of employees), or show up at his office with cookies for everyone when I know they are having a bad day.

 

I have been very intentional about not becoming "indispensable" in DH's business. If I were to work there I know that I would worry about everything, voice my opinion about everything, and we would both bring too much home. By keeping my distance, our entire life is much more balanced. IMHO, A business is simply not worth risking my marriage. I am a much more sympathetic listener when I only hear his side of the story ;)

 

Homeschooling is neither easier nor harder because of the business, but I am very happy for the flexibility that both offer to us. We can all take Mondays off and work on Saturdays, disappear for a week in mid-January, or whatever else we choose because there is no outside schedule to conform to. Owning a business is truly a blessing to our family.

[duckabell]

If it weren't for my full support way back when, when we made NOTHING for a whole year, where I held down the fort while he spent 16 hour days working and weekends, where we practically gave away the first house we owned, we wouldn't be where we are.

 

It requires your sacrifice, too. It requires you not being with him, doing a lot yourself, not complaining, and most of all, being vigilant in your protection of his time off.

 

Could you elaborate a little bit more on the protection of his time off?

[justamouse]

Could you elaborate a little bit more on the protection of his time off?

 

Because he will be dead tired and exhausted. He needs you to not be telling everyone you'll show up for dinner, no inviting people over without asking, no scheduling his time away from his family without his say so-and that could mean spending the day at your Sisters house-but to him, Dad, it's time away from directly being with the kids and you. You have little time to connect, so keeping the time you can connect free is of the utmost importance.

 

My friends and family got really upset with us because we stopped going places, stopped having people over all the time, but Dh got NO break when we were spending all of his free time somewhere else but home. We got no family time, we never got rest as a family. So I drew the line and was his most fierce protector of time off.

[Abigail4476]

My husband and I don't work well together, so I DO help him with things when he's in a pinch, but it's always temporary. (And he knows that it's a huge favor.)

 

Like a PP mentioned, the level of your involvement depends on the dynamics of your relationship. However, your support for his business ventures can still be 100%. Here are ways I help my husband without being an "employee":

 

--I make sure that his family doesn't bother him during working hours. The fact that he's working from home doesn't mean he's available to the kids or me all the time. In fact, working for himself often means working longer hours than he did in a 9-5 job, especially in the early days of getting his business off the ground.

 

--I screen calls. If he's busy, he's not available--not even for friends or family. I don't even ask him. I give him the messages and he can return calls at his convenience.

 

--I respect his limited office space. He has a desk in the living room and an outbuilding that he uses for business. We don't stack papers on his desk, use his computer or store Christmas lights in his building. The kids aren't allowed to play in his building or mess with his equipment.

 

--His work schedule supercedes mine since he's the one bringing in income. This is a practical approach since we obviously need money to keep our home functioning. There have been times when he had to juggle something because the kids had something that couldn't be moved and I had a conflicting event, but that is rare. I schedule as much as possible around his work schedule, and we negotiate everything else.

 

--Sometimes he stays up late and works because it's especially quiet at night and he gets a lot of work done. That means sleeping in till 8:30 or 9 the next morning, so we are quiet in the mornings. Well, as quiet as possible. ;) I let him rest; he has control of his own schedule.

 

--He likes to bounce new ideas off of me and discuss business decisions, sometimes because he wants my input and sometimes because he just needs to vent. I don't have a problem with that at all and I think it strengthens our relationship to keep those lines of communication open.

 

All that said, we have benefited from his being at home. He IS more flexible when it comes to getting away with the family or scheduling time with the kids. He can take our ds9 to cello and music theory and take his iPad to work on while he's waiting. He's more relaxed in general, and on slow days he's likely to take time out of his own accord to do something with the kids or take me out for dinner and a movie.

[twinmomtn]

I'm sorry if I'm hijacking a thread, but your situation sounds similar to what we might be doing next year. My husband is considering becoming self employed. By reading your responses, it seems like alot of people have husbands who own their own business while the mom is homeschooling. My biggest worry is what will we do for health insurance if he doesn't have an employer to provide insurance and I stay at home to school the kids. Anyone have any suggestions? Miracles? Anything? :001_smile:

[Abigail4476]

I'm sorry if I'm hijacking a thread, but your situation sounds similar to what we might be doing next year. My husband is considering becoming self employed. By reading your responses, it seems like alot of people have husbands who own their own business while the mom is homeschooling. My biggest worry is what will we do for health insurance if he doesn't have an employer to provide insurance and I stay at home to school the kids. Anyone have any suggestions? Miracles? Anything? :001_smile:

 

No miracles here. We are currently paying everything out of pocket and praying there are no huge emergencies. Health insurance is slated for next year, but it will be minimal for hospitalization/emergencies only; everything else will still require cash on hand. Ds9 has asthma and his medications are pretty expensive.

[Lara in Colo]

No help here. Health ins is very expensive and and group rates are hard when employees quit and you don't have enough to keep the group.

We have been super lucky and careful. You would be surprised at what freaks you out (trampolines, rollerblades) and what did us in was a piggybank ($20 thousand dollar surgery for THAT accident). Once you own a business, getting govt help gets harder (the paperwork is 10 x more than for a regular joe).

 

There aren't any real answers. I guess that would a strong reason to stay employed with someone or have a spouce with a job that has ins.

 

Lara

[FairProspects]

Support:

 

My DH works lots!!! So school is all on my shoulders. I work out ways for the children to "visit" with their father--they write him notes about their day on the board and he writes them back, since he comes home after they are asleep and leaves before they wake.

 

Lara

 

This is a great idea!! The kids and I have been struggling with this lately with dh's business as well.

[FairProspects]

No help here. Health ins is very expensive and and group rates are hard when employees quit and you don't have enough to keep the group.

 

There aren't any real answers. I guess that would a strong reason to stay employed with someone or have a spouce with a job that has ins.

 

Lara

 

This is exactly why dh works 2 full time jobs at the moment. One at his business and one to keep our health insurance. We don't have any employees so we couldn't qualify for a group rate - we'd have to go individual which would probably result in us getting turned down due to pre-existing conditions.

[edelweiss]

DH started his own business about 6 years ago. It has been the most wonderful blessing for us. It is truly the best thing that he could have ever done. We are more than fortunate though. When DH decided to start his own business, I was prepared for a year or so of very lean times. He had gotten a business loan and we had savings, so I knew we'd be okay, but I was prepared to be super-frugal. Amazingly, his business took off right away. We paid back the business loan almost immediately and truly never had any "lean" times.

 

I was very nervous when he decided to do it though. My one demand was that he not do it if it meant that we wouldn't have medical insurance. He figured all of that out so we were never without coverage.

 

I don't help out much with his business due to lack of time with homeschooling and other household things. I'm definitely qualified to help and DH would love it if I could. I've told him that if the children ever go to school, I will definitely help him part-time, but for now, I have enough on my plate.

 

Having him own his own business is wonderful for our family life. When he isn't traveling, he works from home, so he is often able to drop the girls off at their activities, join us for lunch, etc. We are also able to travel off season and he joins us for some of our field trips. We all love it!

 

I have felt especially blessed during this economic downturn. DH would likely have been laid off from his old job, and it isn't something we have to worry about now. We really like being in control of our own destiny and not having him go to the office everyday not knowing if someone has decided to lay him off.

 

I do realize that our situation is much better than many business owners. I hope that your DH's business is fruitful and fulfilling too!

[justamouse]

I'm sorry if I'm hijacking a thread, but your situation sounds similar to what we might be doing next year. My husband is considering becoming self employed. By reading your responses, it seems like alot of people have husbands who own their own business while the mom is homeschooling. My biggest worry is what will we do for health insurance if he doesn't have an employer to provide insurance and I stay at home to school the kids. Anyone have any suggestions? Miracles? Anything? :001_smile:

 

It took us a few years to get to the point where we could afford health ins. Thankfully, we are healthy and no major disasters happened.

[Happy]

I'm sorry if I'm hijacking a thread, but your situation sounds similar to what we might be doing next year. My husband is considering becoming self employed. By reading your responses, it seems like alot of people have husbands who own their own business while the mom is homeschooling. My biggest worry is what will we do for health insurance if he doesn't have an employer to provide insurance and I stay at home to school the kids. Anyone have any suggestions? Miracles? Anything? :001_smile:

 

We pay all our own health insurance. 700+ a month for three people with few chronic health issues. It's the pits, but it is what it is.

[Lolly]

I'm sorry if I'm hijacking a thread, but your situation sounds similar to what we might be doing next year. My husband is considering becoming self employed. By reading your responses, it seems like alot of people have husbands who own their own business while the mom is homeschooling. My biggest worry is what will we do for health insurance if he doesn't have an employer to provide insurance and I stay at home to school the kids. Anyone have any suggestions? Miracles? Anything? :001_smile:

 

We have really bad medical insurance with BCBS. We pay a lot in. They pay pretty much nothing. Every year, it becomes more in and less out. Yet, they are the best option dh can find. If there is a catastrophic event, it would help; but we would still be hurting. Basically, we try our hardest not to ever have medical care. Dd19 has chronic conditions that must be dealt with. We just do it.

[duckabell]

We're lucky in that we have health insurance until the end of the year. I just applied for a high deductible health insurance plan that, if approved, would cost us about $300.00 a month and then would cover nothing until $7,000 and everything after. It will also be tied to an HSA. It will be expensive, but I need the assurance of insurance and knowing that worse case we'll be out only $7000. We're also planning to get pregnant after we get approved and on insurance. We know that we won't have maternity coverage, but from our research it seems that often you won't be approved for normal coverage if you are pregnant as that is considered a pre-existing condition.

 

As far as maternity goes, thankfully I've had uncomplicated vaginal births and one without pain meds. So my plan is to use a birthing center as it is cheaper than a hospital but I'm not comfortable laboring at home.

[FairProspects]

We're lucky in that we have health insurance until the end of the year. I just applied for a high deductible health insurance plan that, if approved, would cost us about $300.00 a month and then would cover nothing until $7,000 and everything after. It will also be tied to an HSA. It will be expensive, but I need the assurance of insurance and knowing that worse case we'll be out only $7000. We're also planning to get pregnant after we get approved and on insurance. We know that we won't have maternity coverage, but from our research it seems that often you won't be approved for normal coverage if you are pregnant as that is considered a pre-existing condition.

 

As far as maternity goes, thankfully I've had uncomplicated vaginal births and one without pain meds. So my plan is to use a birthing center as it is cheaper than a hospital but I'm not comfortable laboring at home.

 

I would just caution you to check whether the deductible is total for your family or per person and make sure it is an amount you are comfortable with and that you know any exclusions. We ended up paying triple our deductible this year for 3 different family members with 3 different issues that we knew nothing about at the start of the calendar year when we chose the plan. :tongue_smilie: A 7,000 deductible can spike to 14,000 or 28,000 pretty quickly if it is per person and (God forbid) you all need it. Hopefully, you will not need to use it, but you just never know since health or a complicated pregnancy can turn on you quickly. Hope you find something that works for you!

[Paintedlady]

This is exactly why dh works 2 full time jobs at the moment. One at his business and one to keep our health insurance. We don't have any employees so we couldn't qualify for a group rate - we'd have to go individual which would probably result in us getting turned down due to pre-existing conditions.

 

This is what we're doing as well. Dh works a full time job with insurance (luckily he works from home) and full time for his business. We went almost 2 years without any insurance where dh was only doing his business, but he got a job offer in an unrelated field that he just couldn't pass up b/c of the insurance they offered. The extra money didn't hurt either. :tongue_smilie:

 

Dh's business is just over 2 years old and has been very successfull, but we have all made big sacrifices during that time to make it happen. He's gone all the time and during baseball season we never see him. He runs an umpire/referee business so when someone doesn't show up, dh has to run out there to cover. He's been called out of church, has missed many family togethers, etc... and it's hard not to feel resentful about it, even while feeling grateful that it's doing well.

 

His first year in business was one of the worst years of our 18 yr. marriage, so that's saying something, but we've continued to talk it out and have reached a place where it's gotten better.

 

It's very hard sometimes, but dh is doing what he loves and making good money doing it so it's also a blessing.

[ereks mom]

No miracles here. We are currently paying everything out of pocket and praying there are no huge emergencies.

 

:iagree: Same here.

[scrapbookbuzz]

Make a PLAN and stick with it. Easier said than done, believe me, I know!

 

When he's making LOTS of money, truly set some aside and DON'T touch it until you absolutely need it! That means, do not touch it unless there is LITTLE TO NO money coming in. It will be tempting to use it before then, but don't.

 

Some times will be very stressful. Don't take it out on him or yourself or your children. Know that Yes, there will be tough times, there will be stressful times. These, too, shall PASS.

 

My hubby works full time at a job that is full commission. NO base pay. Right now he's working ALL the time. I also run a business and it's not always easy when I'm the full time teacher, too. You really need to look at WHEN you want to do WHAT and put it on the calendar that way. HTH!