Normal aging process?

[heartosunshine]

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[learningmama]

Don't have much advice, but have seen relatives do this. My grandma got into other's business more and became more assertive verbally with her thoughts the older she became. Although my parents are just now 60, I've noticed they are becoming very forgetful in things they have told me about the past and they are becoming very "wishy-washy" with plans they make/change their minds alot and they definitely didn't use to be like that. My husband's grandpa has experienced the biggest obvious mental change and has resorted back to his teenage years I think.

I do know that people often in their 70's/80's become more childlike as they age.

As for driving, I know many put up a fight because they like the independence. My grandfather is 88 and just stopped driving. He finally got to the point where it was too hard physically to go out and drive.

I live in Florida and there are elderly drivers everywhere. Fortunately, I have not seen too many accidents around. My grandpa would get confused and not know how to get back home while driving and would sometimes mix up the gas and brake pedals. He always shared this info though so family knew what was going on.

[Little Nyssa]

I have filled out a report of an unsafe elderly driver. California has this form on their DMV website. They do the investigation. It was not a relative, but someone I knew would never listen to our concerns. Just wanted to let you know that is out there if all else fails.

[BeckyFL]

What is considered part of the normal aging process? Think of a female in her early 70's that's reasonably healthy, somewhat active physically and no signs of dementia or depression. She lives independently & still drives.

 

I'm asking mostly about non-physical changes that happen as people get older. For example, comments made by the older person that she never would have said 10 years ago, giving too much information to people she hardly knows, that kind of thing. Is this normal?

 

Also, how do you know when there needs to be a discussion about driving (or not driving)?

 

Anybody BTDT?

 

Actually, I think that IS a sign of dementia.

[Joanne]

The physical changes in the brain account for these changes. The degree, intensity, progression, and pace of the changes are determined by genetics, environmental history, earlier nutritional, exercise, and mental (as in learning) activity.

 

What happens is that the neural pathways that are built, and reinforced throughout the lifetime begin to sever; aging brains *literally* stop working. Going through a day - hygiene, communication, driving, shopping, etc...all are performed by the neural networks (which are actual physical structures). As these structures begin to disintergrate/die/disappear, the brain finds alternate routes to the same information. The more pathways to that information (the more times the person studied, performed, thought about) that activity, the more pathways are available. Tenuous pathways, pathways with less network, go away first. Pathways built with emotion (people, events) and routine (hygiene, driving) tend to be the strongest.

 

What you describe is "normal" aging as we now understand it for our culture and lifespan. She could stay at this stage for a a long time, or it could accelerate.

 

That's about as technical as I get put it, and I know for scientific types it is really bad, but it is what happens.

 

Aging parent issues and decisions are hard. :grouphug:

[AuntieM]

That "loss of filter" is one of the signs of the onset of dementia. Of course, some people seem to be born with no filter :glare:, but that's a different matter.

 

The late adulthood stage is characterized by an individual being less concerned about what others think about his life and choices; there's a freedom that comes with knowing who you are. The healthy aspect of that is the comfort in stating differing opinions, boldly telling grandkids to eat their veggies, and wearing purple hats should one find that appealing.

 

But a behavioral shift into statements and actions that are socially inappropriate - loss of filter - can be a sign of something more. You would probably also start noticing forgetfulness, as in being unable to recall what day/week/year it is, or leaving the water running or things cooking on the stove. That's when it gets dangerous - leaving pots unattended to burn on the stove, things like that.

 

As far as driving.. that is sooooooo hard. I remember when my brother, at my mother's request, took my dad's car to "do some engine work." That car never returned to the driveway, and mom eased dad out of driving. I personally believe driving is a tough one, because so much personal freedom is attached to the ability to drive. My mom is likely to pass with the keys in her hand or pocket, she's always on the go. She has aches and pains, is mildly forgetful, but the grass doesn't grow under her feet. She would lay down and willfully die if anyone tried to take away her wheels. (But we, her adult kids, would do *something* if we felt she were a danger on the roads. She has always been a cautious driver and remains so in her mid 70s).

 

ETA - As far as giving too much information to strangers - is it possible she's a bit lonely, and enjoys conversing with others, even when she doesn't know them very well? From what I've noticed about those in my family who are older, there's seems to be some sort of unspoken comradeship among the 70+ crowd.

Edited November 5, 2011 by AuntieM

[heartosunshine]

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[heartosunshine]

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[purplewoman]

Thank you, Joanne. That makes sense.

 

Her comments are not outrageous, just a little...off for her. When sharing information inappropriately, it may be common for other people to share that kind of thing, but for her previously, no. Also, I'm the only one noticing this type of thing. Everyone else in her life thinks she's fine.

 

As far as driving, again, she seems ok physically. I'm concerned mostly because she's very easily distracted. She's always been that way, but, to me, seems much more so now. Also, I know that reaction times slow way down in the elderly, but at what age does it impede driving? In the absence of blatant physical symptoms, how do you determine that your loved one should no longer be driving?

 

This is where I'm at with my mother, too. I am noticing things that could be the early signs of dementia, but the rest of my family thinks I'm crazy. I live with my parents, though, and I'm with her every day all day. I just keep watching and making notes. She also could just be aging normally. Time will tell.

 

In my state, IL, occupational therapists can evaluate older patients ability to drive. They actually have a sort-of driving machine (kind of looks like a driving video game) at the OT office where my brother-in-law used to work. They put the patients in there and test their reflexes, etc. We have been watching my mother's driving very closely. My Dad has taken it upon himself to limit her driving a bit already. (You can't drive in this part of town, you have to drive the car instead of the van, etc.) Our next step, when we are ready for it, will be to ask her to be evaluated by an OT. If anything, it will be helpful to have someone unrelated to her tell her she should no longer drive.