lynn Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 He is 11, loves green bay packers so I bought him a Packers hoodie. He wore it once and lost it. I have checked the school lost in found which is a closet with everythign thrown in. Backpacks, full gym bags, every brand of sneakers, North Face coats and about 50 hoodies of various kinds. We have yet to find it. DS is upset with himself, I try to tell him it's just a hoodie (an expensive hoodie) but it's still just a hoodie. What is mom to do to help him not feel so bad about it. Part of me wants to just buy him a new one the other part of me wants him to learn a lesson. and jsut get him a regular hoodie. :confused: Ideas on how to handle this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Christmas gift. He'll be happy and surprised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZooRho Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Christmas gift. He'll be happy and surprised. This, and start looking around for one on sale or at the discount store places. We have Marshalls around our area and they have those good hoodies, in team names Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 :iagree: Christmas gift. He'll be happy and surprised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 That's what I was going to say, too. My son wanted some Packers gear and while we were in Milwaukee, I looked at Boston's and it was very expensive. We went down to a nearby Marshall's and they had all kinds of things at about a fifth of the price of the other pieces. I ended up getting him two things.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Dd got a nintendo DS for her birthday years ago and would take it to school to play on the bus. When we moved here, she did the same, except it was stolen one day (if she dropped it, she would have found it, or someone could have turned it in). I'll be replacing it this birthday in January. I would do the same with your ds. It's sad that it was lost, but don't replace it until a holiday or birthday. I think my dd will take better care of her game because I didn't run out to make her feel better. When ds's ds broke, he had to wait a month before I replaced it. His was under damage warrenty and he had had a tantrum and dropped it. It was covered, but he had to look at it every day and see the consequence of his tantrum. Since it's been replaced, he puts it down and beats a pillow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Christmas gift. He'll be happy and surprised. :iagree: Yeah, I think losing it is probably lesson enough. It's hard to remember that kid's brain's don't focus on stuff like ours do, and it's much easier for them to lose stuff and forget stuff. It is annoying, and it is so tempting to teach them a lesson, but they aren't doing it on purpose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldskool Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Wondering if this is a 11 year old boy thing. Mine started forgetting/losing everything at that age. I have had the lost hoodie problem too. I am inclined to say to replace it only because it really doesn't seem to be something that they do purposefully, but that the brain at that age somehow has taken a vacation. Lesley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Show him some grace and get him a new one. Life's too short. He'll remember both the lesson on responsibility and the lesson on grace. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Show him some grace and get him a new one. Life's too short. He'll remember both the lesson on responsibility and the lesson on grace. :001_smile: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Show him some grace and get him a new one. Life's too short. He'll remember both the lesson on responsibility and the lesson on grace. :001_smile: :iagree: dd12 lost in March the Color Nook she received for Christmas. I would buy him a new hoodie -- save it for Christmas or a special event b4 that (first night of Advent?). I, however, am NOT replacing a Nook Color for dd.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Show him some grace and get him a new one. Life's too short. He'll remember both the lesson on responsibility and the lesson on grace. :001_smile: Beautiful. Not all life lessons are learned from misery. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Show him some grace and get him a new one. Life's too short. He'll remember both the lesson on responsibility and the lesson on grace. :001_smile: :iagree: This, exactly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Could it have been stolen? I ask because my 11 yo "lost" a brand new, worn one meet, $140 competition swimsuit this time last year. She thought she had lost it, didn't tell me, actively tried to conceal the fact that she'd lost it, and outright lied about it. I was FURIOUS at her for lying and punished her publicly (she lied publicly) for doing so. However, while this in no way excuses the fact that she lied, repeatedly, upon further inquiry, we determined that the suit was most certainly stolen. I punished her for lying, but because I ultimately determined that the suit was stolen, I bought her another one. I expect my 11 yo to be careful with her things but not to keep them free from theft. Even if your son's hoodie wasn't stolen, I might buy him another one, but if there is a strong possibility that it was stolen, I would definitely do so. Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Beautiful. Not all life lessons are learned from misery. ;) What, they aren't?;) I would buy another too. Sounds like he is upset enough about it that he would be careful. f this was happening all the time, than I would reconsider. Like the others said, Marshalls has those items cheaper. If I lost an item that I loved and couldn't find it and it wasn't over the top expensive, I would go get it. Kids don't have that much freedom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 I had a similar experience as a kid and I never found my jacket. So many kids at school had them...someone just walked off with it :-( If you don't mind buying another do so. My parents refused and I understood why. In the future I was made to save up my own money to buy expensive stuff like that so i would take better care of it. And I appreciate that lesson as a adult :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 I agree with the pp- could it have been stolen? I once "lost" my clarinet on the school bus as a kid, and was chewed out for days. We later found out, because the thief was bragging, that a senior had stolen it out from under my seat and was planning to sell it. I agree that you should buy him another one, if possible. Especially if this isn't something he does often. I screw up like that all the time. Just the other day I forgot an expensive shirt in the laundromat, and when I went back, it was gone. If every mistake I made was turned into a life lesson, I'd go insane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 I don't know if I can wait until Christmas. I'll check Marshalls before I order another one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Show him some grace and get him a new one. Life's too short. He'll remember both the lesson on responsibility and the lesson on grace. :001_smile: :iagree: Who among us has never accidentally lost something? It would be different if this was the fourth Packers hoodie he'd lost this month, but it sounds like he's a good kid who wasn't thinking for a few minutes and left it behind. I would just get him a new one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Could it have been stolen? I ask because my 11 yo "lost" a brand new, worn one meet, $140 competition swimsuit this time last year. She thought she had lost it, didn't tell me, actively tried to conceal the fact that she'd lost it, and outright lied about it. I was FURIOUS at her for lying and punished her publicly (she lied publicly) for doing so. However, while this in no way excuses the fact that she lied, repeatedly, upon further inquiry, we determined that the suit was most certainly stolen. I punished her for lying, but because I ultimately determined that the suit was stolen, I bought her another one. I expect my 11 yo to be careful with her things but not to keep them free from theft. Even if your son's hoodie wasn't stolen, I might buy him another one, but if there is a strong possibility that it was stolen, I would definitely do so. Terri I think you did everything right, except for punishing your dd publicly. I don't believe that public humiliation solves anything, and I think a private conversation would have been more appropriate. (I can definitely understand why you were so angry, though -- I can't stand lying, either!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 What is mom to do to help him not feel so bad about it. Nothing. Life is what it is. Things get lost. It's not your job to fix it. You could get him another as a Christmas present, but as far as right now, I wouldn't do anything. Kids don't learn if their parents rescue. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myeightkiddies Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 My opinion: If it doesn't turn-up soon, purchase another for Christmas. This will allow some time for it to be found or recovered (if stolen and if possible), plus it will give the child some time to think about how they could have done things differently. If it doesn't show, a new one for Christmas will be a very pleasant surprise. In the end, mom "saves the day" and a lesson is learned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I think you did everything right, except for punishing your dd publicly. I don't believe that public humiliation solves anything, and I think a private conversation would have been more appropriate. (I can definitely understand why you were so angry, though -- I can't stand lying, either!) Just a sec, let me go back and see where I asked for opinions on how I handled this with my daughter... Still looking... Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 My boys go to camp every summer for boyscouts. I have ordered labels with their names on them. I label camp items but I also label anything I think they might lose and I don't want them to lose. We may or may not get it back this way, but if an honest person finds it, at least they can try. A suggestion for next time. He must feel awful. SOrry. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I pulled this thread up earlier not actually to make a snarky comment--that's a bonus--but to see if the OP had posted an update. OP, were you able to find another one? What did you decide? Of course lives are not at stake, so of course it could be worse, but the OP's situation is a tough one. Balacing personal responsibility and teaching moments versus extending grace and restoring your child's joy. OP, I would love to know where you ended up on this. Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Christmas gift. He'll be happy and surprised. :iagree: That is long enough for a kid who is already upset. My ds did that with a Jorma hat. He got a new one for Christmas....didn't lose it again. Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.