serendipitous journey Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 not sure what I'm going to do:Button, fresh home from a playdate with a fellow we haven't seen in a year or so -- it went very well, only sadness was Button didn't really want to leave but he did so sweetly -- reached out and pinched 16-month-old Bot-Bot's face, completely unprovoked. Not the end of the world, but untypical, unacceptable behavior and clearly related somehow to the playdate. I sent him to his room for a bit while I think; any ideas? We don't have many playdates: and that's all the context. thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 tired... frustrated... taking feelings he doesn't quite know how to express out on Bot-Bot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 tired... frustrated... taking feelings he doesn't quite know how to express out on Bot-Bot. :iagree:Also possibly he made an effort to be of his best behaviour while there and /or let the other child to lead the situation a bit more than he wanted, thus keeping his feelings inside. It is typical for children who hold it together for some time, to come undone and have a melt down afterwards. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl in NM Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 :iagree: But, in instances like that I've discussed, yes, even with a 6 yo, that if he can't be nice to his family after a play date then he can't have a play date. That reminder has been issued many times and clears up the undesired behaviour right away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serendipitous journey Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 :iagree: But, in instances like that I've discussed, yes, even with a 6 yo, that if he can't be nice to his family after a play date then he can't have a play date. That reminder has been issued many times and clears up the undesired behaviour right away. .. this is what I'm thinking (and ditto on the replies RE frustration and venting! thanks so much for the perspective). Any ideas on venting frustrations after play dates; mandatory calm-down/ alone time? thanks so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MusicMama Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Well, if you expect meltdowns and bad behavior try to steer clear of triggers. For my kids, that would mean keeping Babs and Bean AWAY from each other, separate rooms if possible. They know how to push each other's buttons! And they are like sharks, sensing the emotional weakness only encourages them to go in for the "kill"... Get them home, feed them, then have solitary quiet time. Cross fingers. Follow through on punishment if bad behavior surfaces. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Not the end of the world, but untypical, unacceptable behavior and clearly related somehow to the playdate. Unless this happens after every play date, I do not see that is it "clearly related". Post hoc ergo, and all that stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 This happens to us if the playdate was too long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl in NM Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Something I forgot to mention... ds would never take the time to eat during a play date. He didn't want to take the time from playing. So even when friend ate ds would take a few bites of his food. I started making sure he ate before the playdate, threatening to cancel the playdate if he didn't eat. When he got older I'd remind him to take time to eat during the playdate because "remember honey you get cranky when you don't eat and then you aren't any fun to be around". That seemed to work. When he did have a playdate and didn't eat, I remind him that if he was too busy to eat at a playdate that included food then I would pick him up early so he could eat. I put the responsibility back on him. It helped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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