momofkhm Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 I haven't had this kind of drama with my girls. And I have 2 teenage girls! DS's only friend in the neighborhood is little manipulator. I don't like him. I honestly can't tell if ds likes him anymore. I think it's more that B is the only one his age who lives close. If there were options other than B, I wouldn't let ds play with B. So the current drama - ds and B were playing earlier this week and B decided to start taking all of ds's nerf guns into B's house. While locking ds out. Then B started to take ds's bullets and mark them with 3 lines. DS uses 2 lines. B uses 1, I think. DS did eventually get all of his nerf guns and bullets back. DS decided that B wasn't playing nicely so he and B wouldn't play this week. Boys haven't played since Monday. B's birthday party is Saturday. But B never let us know what time the party was. DS wants to go. DS went over to find out what time the party is and B wants ds to plan the game at the party. "Top Shot" - if you have the history channel, you'll know what they want. I think it's rude to ask someone to plan your party 2 days ahead of time. (Well, he didn't know earlier that he was going to do it.) DS just ran inside and upstairs. I asked what he was getting. "B's birthday present" Why? "B wants it now instead of at the party." DS is 11. B is turning 13. B was institutionalized a few years ago for anger issues. I keep thinking it's got to be bad to be placed. B is on a mood stabilizer. But he still gets so frustrated and deals with it like a 4 yo. (Not quite as bad as a 2 yo, but certainly not like a 13 yo should.) This past Monday is not the first time ds has come home early from playing with B. There have been outbursts before. DS knows to come home. He doesn't have to put up with any of it. I wish B were better. I wish there were other boys ds could play with. I wish we could move away and it not be a problem at all. I thought this kind of drama happened with girls. I guess it's just a middle school thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 that you can say, "If there were any other options for my kid to play with, he wouldn't be able to play with B." I grew up calling that "using people." Your son is bored and wants a friend, and if he had anyone else he could play with, he would dump B and play with that person. Honestly, if that's the case, he should just go friendless. I would not want to know or feel that my kids friends are only playing with them for lack of other options. I think you should get your son involved in some things where he could meet other kids, invite them over, and get to know some boys his age. I know it's difficult - you have to really try hard sometimes to make that happen. My boys' have a close friend who they got to be friends with that way. The other Mom just really worked and worked to make it so they would get together. I have realized how "worth it" it is to have this particular boy for a friend (great kid, great family) and so I will drive. I just do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Sigh, my 13 year old has a 15 year old friend very much like that. He has been put into the ROTC program at his school because (I guess) his parents haven't been able to figure out what to do with him. He fought them for years about being in a Spanish immersion program there.... His Dad is a psychologist, too! Having no girls myself, but having grown up with a sister, I don't recall that either of us had as much angst and turmoil as some of the teen boys I've known, LOL.... I thought maybe it was just the times we live in.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 We wouldn't be playing with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 that you can say, "If there were any other options for my kid to play with, he wouldn't be able to play with B." I grew up calling that "using people." Your son is bored and wants a friend, and if he had anyone else he could play with, he would dump B and play with that person. Honestly, if that's the case, he should just go friendless. I would not want to know or feel that my kids friends are only playing with them for lack of other options. I think you should get your son involved in some things where he could meet other kids, invite them over, and get to know some boys his age. I know it's difficult - you have to really try hard sometimes to make that happen. My boys' have a close friend who they got to be friends with that way. The other Mom just really worked and worked to make it so they would get together. I have realized how "worth it" it is to have this particular boy for a friend (great kid, great family) and so I will drive. I just do it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 that you can say, "If there were any other options for my kid to play with, he wouldn't be able to play with B." I grew up calling that "using people." Your son is bored and wants a friend, and if he had anyone else he could play with, he would dump B and play with that person. Honestly, if that's the case, he should just go friendless. I would not want to know or feel that my kids friends are only playing with them for lack of other options. I think you should get your son involved in some things where he could meet other kids, invite them over, and get to know some boys his age. I know it's difficult - you have to really try hard sometimes to make that happen. My boys' have a close friend who they got to be friends with that way. The other Mom just really worked and worked to make it so they would get together. I have realized how "worth it" it is to have this particular boy for a friend (great kid, great family) and so I will drive. I just do it. :iagree: If B is causing so much drama and trouble in your life that you would drop him if you had other options, then ds shouldn't be "friends" with him now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 :iagree: If B is causing so much drama and trouble in your life that you would drop him if you had other options, then ds shouldn't be "friends" with him now. :iagree::iagree: It's time to actively look for new friends for DS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 I agree with others, that your son should not be playing with B, but I get how that is easier said than done. That's your opinion as Mommy, but not necessarily your son's opinion on a daily basis. I don't see you as "using" B, just the reality is, if there were other children in the neighborhood, your son would have more options, and would realize eventually that B is not a good friend, and would choose to gravitate to the other children. That's not using. We had a very similiar situation on our old neighborhood, with my oldest DS, but he was younger at the time, age 7-11. I KNEW, as an adult, that the neighbor boy was a trouble-maker, liked to pick fights, did not treat my son like a true friend. But getting my son to see that, my son who really wanted that friend, wanted to be able to go outside and just hang out and do what boys do at that age, getting him to see that THIS boy was not a good friend, took time and maturity. Eventually my son realized the boy was just not going to be the friend my son wanted...then we moved anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.