Mentors

[garddwr]

I woke up this morning thinking about mentors--mostly about people who had been mentors to me at different times, and about what it was about them that had such a powerful effect on me. I would love to hear others' thoughts on what makes a good mentor, examples from your lives--or from movies etc!

 

What I have come up with for a good mentor is 1) someone who cares sincerely about you and your progress and achievements--this seems to be the primary requirement---we might be inspired by a book or by a personal hero we've never actually met, but a mentor has to know us and care about us. 2) someone who sets and expects high standards of performance. They raise the bar, and encourage you to shoot higher. 3) Someone who has integrity and self control, someone you can emulate.

 

Some examples in my life include my IB director in high school, a rather diminutive Japanese American woman who held us to high standards and encouraged us to succeed even when we seemed to be failing; an ROTC commander who demanded superior performance and made us all come out for 6:00 AM physical training--but was always there at 6:00 AM himself participating; a Welsh poet I took a graduate class from, who inspired us with his readings and always found ways we could improve our writing--but also always pointed out what we had done well....

 

There are others, other people who inspired me to work harder, to go farther, than I could have gone one my own. Please share your stories--who have been your mentors, what makes a good mentor? Can a parent be that kind of mentor to a child or is the relationship too complex? How do you seek out mentors?

 

--Sarah

[Jean in Newcastle]

I agree with your characteristics of a good mentor. I would add: someone who leads by example. The best mentors I've had never preached at me in any way but showed me how to be my best and encouraged me by telling me that I could do it. I would also say a good mentor is someone who admits that they are human and lets me be human too.

 

I had two wonderful mentors in high school. Both were teachers who were good teachers but more importantly were available to talk to us when ever it was possible. The first teacher encouraged me to love opera when it wasn't cool to do so.;) The second teacher was an accepting person when so many around me were not accepting. She talked "straight" to me, telling me when she thought I was wrong, but not condemning me at the same time. I was very disappointed about 10 years after high school to find out that the first teacher had cheated on his wife.

 

Now that I'm in my forties, I don't really have a mentor per se but I have wise friends who do just naturally make me sit up a bit taller and who encourage me by their example and love.

 

Yes, I think that parents can be mentors to their kids.