Are we (parents/child) old fuddy-duddies?

[FrogMom5]

Interesting--we have Laura from Scotland, and Jakesask--who attended college in Canada (quiet) and grad school in the USA (noisy, more focus on drinking).

 

I'm wondering if this is a US "thing", that we're just overall more loud than other people. Our family has spent a lot of time abroad and we have found that Europeans are generally quieter when outside of the immediate family. We Americans have a terrible reputation as being "loud", and there's the old adage that you can hear an American a mile away. So, maybe this carries over into our academic life, too?

 

Don't get me wrong, the European cans be loud. But they seem to keep their voices better modulated; less shrieking and Billie Mays (the TV salesman) in your face kind of attitude. And when the Euros drink, they tend to do so in pubs, which are more conversational than our (American) bars.

 

Just a thought, maybe this is all cultural differences?

 

This may be true for Europeans but compared to many other cultures, we use quieter speaking voices. In college, I lived in an honors/international dorm. The honors floors were pretty quiet, even during non-quiet hours. The international floors were very noisy regardless of the imposed quiet-hours. There were lots of doors opening and slamming shut, partying and so forth. Also, some of the girls just spoke and laughed so loudly it was unpleasant to have a conversation with them. I'm sensitive to noise but many of my floor mates were not and they were still bothered by the noise level.

 

To the OP - fwiw, the dorm floor where I lived while in college was pretty quiet. We also had a full kitchen to use and many of us cooked healthy meals on the weekends. We did engage in quiet conversations in our rooms but the topics and depth were not the type your dd describes - just typical 1980's college girl conversations. I'm not sure if this atmosphere still exists. I attended Illinois State University. Most of the dorms were like what your dd describes- mine was unique.

I hope your dd finds what she wants.

Denise

Edited November 8, 2011 by FrogMom5
I can't spell anymore.

[Elinor Everywhere]

This may be true for Europeans but compared to many other cultures, we use quieter speaking voices.

Denise

 

This has been my experience, as well. When we lived in Hong Kong we were very surprised at how loud people were, especially children. We found many of the Hong Kong kids quite obnoxious, actually. But we're a pretty quiet family. Excess loudness literally hurts my ears and annoys me.

[TravelingChris]

My daughter goes to a large state school, lives in a honor dorm in a two single bedroom suite. She has mostly quiet times at her dorm. On the other hand, she doesn't do much with her dorm like chatting, etc. She has a small kitchen but that mainly consists of a frig and microwave. SHe would like a real kitchen but overall, she likes her dorm. SHe has made a few friends and she seems to be okay with her social situation. Lately , she has been coming home but week one was for a medical appointment, week two was for fall break, last weekend she stayed there and went to the big game and this weekend she is returning to make some money. (She made money raking leaves the other weekends too and this weekend will be the biggest money maker yet for her- she doesn't have a job on campus so this is her way of making money for Christmas and Birthday presents). I do know that her biggest complaints are the food - and having eaten there a few times, she doesn't really understand how lucky she is to have that food

 

I don't know what to tell you to do for your daughter. It seems like the school is not a good fit for her and the education isn't the best but you seem intent on rating or rankings. As is popularly quoted in College Confidential, fit is everything. So my advice is for her to transfer and maybe go to a school where she can live off campus.

[J-rap]

This is why my oldest three all opted out of the dorms in college. My son lived in a men-only Catholic boarding house when attending college in NYC. :) My daughter rents a room in a private home in Costa Rica, and my other daughter who was going to school in-state did live in a dorm first semester, and then moved in with her grandma (who lives a miles away from school) second semester!

My kids are all sociable and are not loners; they just don't want to have their lives at the mercy of college dorm life.

Given that, I don't think what your daughter is looking for is impossible. There are students like her everywhere, and if she can just find them where she's at, she can at least have her own little group, sitting together in quiet places, talking about intelligent things late into the night while listening to classical music. :)

And, I do believe there are some colleges that are more the party-type and others that will have some more of what your daughter is looking for. Maybe in the end her hang-out will not be on campus but at a quiet bookshop in town that has little tables in the corner.