Liz CA Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Let's say I am your children's aunt. One of your little ones has a birthday and I would like to send something. (Children's ages from newborn to 8, family of 4 boys). Would it be easier (less whining, pouting, fighting) if I sent something to all of the kiddos (since they are rather young and not all of them may understand that one sibling has a birthday and not all of them) or would you not expect to receive something for all of them but only the birthday child? I am wondering if I should get something small/inexpensive for the other littles while the birthday child gets a birthday present or does this set a precedent of expecting something when you should not? Lest you wonder...I am the mother of ONE. This issue never came up in my parenting years. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaryCatherine Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday kid only. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 You only need to buy for the birthday child. The other children have their own birthdays. It has never been an issue among my kids at any age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Agree. Only buy for the bday boy or girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday kid only :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
---- Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 You only need to buy for the birthday child. The other children have their own birthdays. It has never been an issue among my kids at any age. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyP Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I wouldn't expect it. But if you decide to do it you'll earn cool aunt points (from the kids old enough to realize they got a bonus gift). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
learningmama Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I would say birthday kid only as well. Then the others will get something in the future for their bdays. My kids are 19 months apart and the grandparents have always gotten the other something when it's the siblings bday. That's nice and all, but it still happens (kids are 6 and 7 now) and the kids have kind of come to expect it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rwjx2khsmj Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Send a gift for the birthday child only. Having four children believe that they all should get gifts for each child's birthday is an expensive predicent to set. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJ. Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Only the birthday kid. It used to make my mother so angry when my dad's parents would get gifts for the siblings of birthday kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnaM Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 We teach our kids from a young age that the Birthday Child is the only one who gets gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Dominion Heather Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I think that either option is valid. My boys adore my mom who always gets all three of my boys something on each birthday. She remembers fondly HER aunt who began this tradition when my mom was a little girl. I think that if you want to do that, you should be prepared to start a tradition. But in my mind, it is a good tradition. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I'm in the no gifts for anyone but the birthday boy camp. In our house the other siblings sometimes helped them open their gifts, but in general they just had to learn that it wasn't about them that day. I wouldn't worry about pouting, whining, etc. If there is any I'm sure it will be short-lived and soon forgotten amid the cake, ice cream, new toys... Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Vixen Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Our situation is a little different because I have twins but some of our relatives send all the kids their b-day presents at the same time. This way my oldest has something to open at the same time as his brother and sister. Plus is saves on ridiculous shipping costs to Alaska :001_smile:. Marisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 In my family, all the children under 10 get a small gift on their sibling's birthday, but it is from us. We did this because we didn't want DD to feel left out on her brothers' birthday. At first, she was too young to understand why she was the only one of our four children who did not receive a present. If someone gave the birthday child a gift, and also gave a small present to my other children, it would not upset me in the least. I think you can go either way with it, but if you send each child a gift once, the kids will expect it every year (unless you have clearly decided upon an age cutoff). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday kid only. To me, birthdays are special, and everyone getting something takes some of that 'shine' away. Each of my kids gets made a big deal of for their birthdays, so I don't agree with them sharing in their sibs by receiving a gift, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holly IN Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Would it be easier (less whining, pouting, fighting) if I sent something to all of the kiddos (since they are rather young and not all of them may understand that one sibling has a birthday and not all of them) or would you not expect to receive something for all of them but only the birthday child? ;) You are so sweet. For me it would be much easier for me if you only got the birthday child the gift. Sure the others would whine and pout however in the long run it would be better for them to learn at that point it is not their birthday so they do not get anything except cake and ice cream. I would be upset if you got (the doting aunt) my kids all gifts. It would defeat the purpose in letting the birthday child outshine or have his/her special day. kwim?? Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love HSing Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday kid only. To me, birthdays are special, and everyone getting something takes some of that 'shine' away. Each of my kids gets made a big deal of for their birthdays, so I don't agree with them sharing in their sibs by receiving a gift, etc. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorien Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Let's say I am your children's aunt. One of your little ones has a birthday and I would like to send something. (Children's ages from newborn to 8, family of 4 boys). Would it be easier (less whining, pouting, fighting) if I sent something to all of the kiddos (since they are rather young and not all of them may understand that one sibling has a birthday and not all of them) or would you not expect to receive something for all of them but only the birthday child? I am wondering if I should get something small/inexpensive for the other littles while the birthday child gets a birthday present or does this set a precedent of expecting something when you should not? Lest you wonder...I am the mother of ONE. This issue never came up in my parenting years. ;) Personally . . . . I think kids of any age can learn that sometimes someone else gets something when they don't. Our kids know that whoever the birthday person is, then that person is going to be the one to get the presents, etc. And then they can look forward to the same when it's their birthday. No, I wouldn't expect all of the children to be given something if it's a birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdkidsmom Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 yes, birthday kid only. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkateLeft Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Just the birthday kid! I wouldn't expect gifts for all the kids. I certainly didn't buy gifts for all my kids each time one had a birthday. Even when they were very young, my kids knew that birthday gifts were for the birthday child only. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorrainejmc Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday kid only here too. I've never had any whining from the others. Or maybe I just don't hear it....:001_huh::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidip2p Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 In my family, all the children under 10 get a small gift on their sibling's birthday, but it is from us. We did this because we didn't want DD to feel left out on her brothers' birthday. At first, she was too young to understand why she was the only one of our four children who did not receive a present. If someone gave the birthday child a gift, and also gave a small present to my other children, it would not upset me in the least. I think you can go either way with it, but if you send each child a gift once, the kids will expect it every year (unless you have clearly decided upon an age cutoff). Totally agree, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday kid only. :iagree:Giving other siblings presents does nothing but help reinforce this culture of expectation we seem to be moving rapidly towards in this country. Kids who get gifts constantly and for no reason at all, leads to selfish adults, IMHO. I don't see anything wrong with saying, "It's not your birthday, dear, it's Suzy's. That's why she gets a present and you don't. You'll have your turn on your birthday." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MHowell Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I usually only gift to the birthday boy/girl. My brother is about to have a second child, and I might do that for their kids, only because I know they don't have a lot of money and I like to spoil kids. HOWEVER, my Aunt sends a small token present to the other child on birthdays. Usually in the birthday card she'll mention the additional gift, usually along the lines of "I included a small something for X, so they have something to do while you play/use your new presents!" They have never expected presents from anyone else like this, but they know at this point Sharon will always send them something! Of course, she also send presents for no reason at all, so they are lucky that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Nope, just send a present for ONE kid. I hate it when people feel obligated to buy presents for all the kids when just one is having a special day. It encourages competitiveness among the kids and greed. I've always actively discouraged people from doing this, but of course folks do it occasionally and that is no problem. My kids are 100% not competitive about gifts or greedy about them, and they seem to genuinely enjoy each other's special days. The only exception I make is for new babies. I think it is nice to bring the older kids small gifts around that time as "big brother" or "big sister" gifts to help 1) ease the sting of having to share the parents and see all the attention paid to the baby and 2) provide distractions to busy the older kids so they won't feel as neglected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I guess I am the odd man out. We always did little gifts for the other children when they were smaller. Usually something small and needed--socks (cool ones), underwear (character), coloring books, This eventually morphed into family birthday where we have one party. The hope is to not have one child feel superior to the others even for a day and that birthdays are a time of family coming together. I hope they get together as adults to celebrate their family birthday together. (little history) I have a mother who even to this day will throw a fit if you forget her b-day, and be really hurt. I want my children to have less emphasis on the actual day of birth and themselves, and more on how their birth made us a family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday kid only. :iagree: My kids know they'll get their turn. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Running the race Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday kid only. Don't set a bad precedent. My mother-in-law does this and the presents never stop! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly1730 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday child only. Except our last two are twins so that makes things lots easier:lol:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday child only. My kids are excited about each other's birthdays and share well. I can't remember any time in their life when they whined or complained that it wasn't their birthday or that they didn't get presents. There were several years when I felt inundated with toys; I would have resented someone adding more to the pile by giving siblings gifts too. Not necessary, not wanted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday child only. This is really hard for my 5 year old who has a birthday 2 months after Ds7. He's learning. Next year should be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 bigger gift for birthday child, and bonus points for a little something (piece of candy, dollar store toy, etc) for all the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Oh my gosh, BIRTHDAY CHILD ONLY! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 for birthdays - if you send each child a gift on their birthday, you don't need to send them something on their siblings birthday. It's good for kids to learn it's not all about them and that their turn will come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday kid only. :iagree: It is the child's birthday. Not the siblings birthdays and the sooner they learn that, the better. My niece will absolutely ruin her sister's party every single year because she isn't getting presents, cake, etc. :glare: It makes me want to scream. Honestly, I don't care about keeping the peace. The birthday child deserves a special day all their own. (can you tell this is a pet peeve of mine?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I didn't read the replies past the first page. Sorry! My parents always get a gift for the birthday child and something for the younger kids. As they get around 8 or nine, they no longer get the "bonus" gift and it has never been a problem. My littles have never noticed they get that "bonus" gift and never seem to expect it, kwim? My parents are the only ones who do this and I have *no* problem with a gift for the birthday child only. I feel lucky that it has played out so smoothly with my dc and wouldn't expect that to always be the case. My nieces and nephew live in Germany so I am lucky. We send a box of fun stuff once or twice a year and it is loaded with treats for everyone and I am "cool aunt Noidy" because I always send a nice variety of Nerds candy. :lol: So I have never had to "deal with" giving multiple gifts at once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Add me to the chorus. Birthday child only here. Our children have been able to understand. I even find them "playing birthdays" and taking turns being the birthday child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday kid only. My kids are young but even my 2yo understands that X got the present because it is their birthday and we don't have any pouting or hurt feelings. It teaches kids to be happy for others even when they didn't get something themselves. When one of my kids gets a present ALL 3 of them meet Dad at the door when he gets in from work excitedly yelling "Dad look what X got" - they are just as excited for each other as they are when the gift is for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday kid only. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Let's say I am your children's aunt. One of your little ones has a birthday and I would like to send something. (Children's ages from newborn to 8, family of 4 boys). Would it be easier (less whining, pouting, fighting) if I sent something to all of the kiddos (since they are rather young and not all of them may understand that one sibling has a birthday and not all of them) or would you not expect to receive something for all of them but only the birthday child? I am wondering if I should get something small/inexpensive for the other littles while the birthday child gets a birthday present or does this set a precedent of expecting something when you should not? Lest you wonder...I am the mother of ONE. This issue never came up in my parenting years. ;) I would not. Are the parents of the birthday child also doling out presents to the little brothers? Are the grandparents? What if they have a b-day party. Are the party goers going to bring extra presents for everybody? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yellowperch Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 No more stuff! You sound like a great aunt. I would suggest sending a gift that all the guys can (except the newborn) can play with together, but send it to the birthday boy. Magnatiles, unit blocks, legos, etc. If their house is anything like mine, they all play with everything anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splinter Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 It's really not necessary. My four are pretty close together and we've had a few people send gifts for all of them, but it's not expected and it could even backfire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puma Mom Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday kid only. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2jjka Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 When I send gifts I usually include a sheet of stickers for the non-birthday kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2why Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday child only. I know a family who gives their kids a toy every time one of them gets one, and I think they are spoiled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tabrizia Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Birthday child only. Though to be fair all 3 of mine were born within a 3 week period, so most of the time if someone is sending a gift they will just send one for each of them for their birthdays. My in-laws do have a small gift for the non-birthday child when we do our family birthday get together, but it isn't expected at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 this is actually a pet peeve of mine. I think it takes away from the birthday child when everyone gets a present, even small. Everyone deserves their own special day. That's jmo.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virg Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 You definitely don't need to but my kids would love you forever and ever if you did! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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