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Sweeping the beach - where is the joy?


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How do you find joy in the mundane of everyday life? I get so weary of the same tasks and chores over and over again. I have so much to be thankful for, but I find myself grumpy a lot. Since ds is now in school, I feel like I have so little purpose for my life. I keep plenty "busy," but I am not very fulfilled. I do exercise every day. I am in a bible study and a book group. But, I never feel like I have much to look forward to. It all feels like work. I should probably find something altruistic to do, but I honestly don't think I have the time. Ds's school is a ways away, and I spend much time on the road ferrying him from one activity to another and to school. My day "ends" at 1:45 when I have to leave to pick him up. So, I feel like I spend a lot of time rushing around on top of the boredom of it.

 

Am I alone in feeling like all I do is sweep the beach???

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I think we have all been there at different stage in our lives. My solution was to find some way to be creative. I think we are programmed to be productive and to give to others and most people do that plenty in our day to day lives but we forget to find something that recharges our soul.

 

I am not naturally creative, so it took a bit to find something I love. I am not crafty, so there were starts and stops along the way, as I tried on different ideas. Finances were also an issue since I couldn't justify in my own mind spending a lot of money on a hobby that I wasn't sure I would enjoy.

 

Some things I did;

 

I moved all my furniture around in the house and took everything off the walls so I could look at everything in a different way. I even painted a couple of rooms, and redecorated.

 

I can't knit so I bought one of those rings and made hats for everyone. But I didn't love it enough to go further.

 

I picked a small area and put in a flowerbed. This can get expensive and takes some time to see results. I am glad I did it, but it didn't light me up, but for others it becomes a passion.

 

After finding out what didn't work for me*, I discovered my camera. Not to just take family pictures but to actually start looking at the world in a different way. Thank goodness for digital, because I was stuck in the cost of film and developing world where you only took one or two shots. But with digital I can take 10+ shots and then choose what I love. I knew I was bit when I stopped on a busy road so I could slog into a ditch and take pictures of a tree in the distance covered with ice. I have also been known to wake the kids up at AM so we can drive to the beach as the sun comes up. I am never going to be great, but I am getting better, and it changes the way I look at everything in the world. When I meet people I often think about where I would like to photograph them as their personalities emerge. I never make the kids pose anymore, so they don't care, and I blow up the photos I really love and use them throughout the house.

 

I hope you can find something that you fall in love with!

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Is there a craft that you have wanted to learn? For me, one of the joys of knitting or sewing is the end product. Washing the floor, on the other hand, feels good until someone spills something as inevitably happens.

 

I had decided that I was going to learn to knit socks this year. Instead of figuring it out on my own, I signed up for a class at a yarn store. The camaraderie was great!

 

Also, volunteer work is not necessarily all consuming. There may be something near your son's school that you could do once a month. Library, Extension service, another non-profit?

Edited by Jane in NC
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I think we have all been there at different stage in our lives. My solution was to find some way to be creative. I think we are programmed to be productive and to give to others and most people do that plenty in our day to day lives but we forget to find something that recharges our soul.

 

 

:iagree:

 

Everything done "for the greater glory of God" becomes meaningful. Hard to remember, I know...

 

:iagree: This is what I had to keep telling myself. I considered everything I did, figuring out how it glorified God. If it didn't, I found something else to do. But I was amazed at how even the little things I did--cooking for my family, even cleaning the bathtub--brought glory to God because I was doing those things to serve my family, and ultimately, that is serving God.

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I have found that volunteering helps. My part-time job as a village postmistress is at least fifty percent social service (chatting to lonely people, helping out old ladies with unusual requests).

 

I also volunteer as a guinea pig at the local medical school - I go in and get interviewed by trainee doctors a few times a year. I see it as my donation to the NHS, as I can't give blood. Is there some form of volunteering that you could do which would be intermittent or occasional, so it wouldn't tie you down?

 

Laura

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I'm re-reading Mitten Stings for God by Katrina Kenison. She has a whole chapter about Dailyness. What I'm getting from her writing is that every moment is a gift and we just have to learn to "see" it. The feeling of the breeze in your hair, clouds, birds, things that are always all around us that we're too busy to see. See if you can get a copy at the library; I'm enjoying it.

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Since you are so often in the car, get yourself some CD's from The Great Courses to listen to. It will give your mind something to chew on and you will really feel like you are learning something. I love them. You do need to be a bit selective with what you choose. I especially like the Music and Arts and the history ones.

 

Susie in SWVA

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Thanks for all the thoughtful replies. I am creative (musician), but I find that have little time to devote to my music right now. I think much of my frustration is that I feel like my time isn't used very efficiently because of the driving hither and yon. The Great Courses CDs is a good idea.

 

*Sigh* I sort of feel like I did when ds was 11. He was almost old enough to leave home alone but not quite. He is now almost old enough to drive, but we aren't there yet. Then I feel guilty b/c I feel like I am wishing his life away!!!

 

It is a season, and I need to quit being such a selfish baby. I have a great life - I really do. And, I need to be more thankful.

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