Fed up with attitude I get from My 6yodd!!

[thundersweet]

Every single morning is a struggle. She gives the biggest attitude when it comes time to start school. How do you handle this?? I am at a loss. She is usually ok when we get going but I am sick to death of it. I think she hates everything we do. What it is, is the fact I stop her from doing whatever she is doing and she doesn't like that. But hey, we have to get this stuff done. I have even pared it down to just math and a little spelling for the summer and she still gives me a hard time. Am I the only one dealing with this?? Is it an age thing?? She is 6 going on 35...that may be the problem! Need some tips on how to curb this behavior. This mom has had it!

 

Thanks,

Sandy

[Targhee]

DD5.5 really protests if I interrupt whatever it is she is doing. I recall being the same way when I was little. For me, it was this deep basal need for completion. For example, I remember one occasion when I was playing the piano and my mom asked me to set the table. I nodded and continued to play. She reminded me a minute later. I nodded, kept playing. Then she got mad, I got in trouble, and finally set the table. All I wanted to do was get to the end of the piece I was playing - I couldn't stop with the music resolving!!

 

Do you do school at a consistent time each day? That is helpful for my DD (and I have found it helpful for me too). I usually remind her "we're starting lessons in five minutes" or something like that. She doesn't always come running with an enthusiastic smile, but there is less of an issue this way.

 

Also, there are a couple of things she can't do until lessons are over (like playing video games, watching TV, etc.). These are the activities that it would cause protestations if I interrupted. HTH

[thundersweet]

Yes, we do it first thing. I have tried waiting a bit but she still gets huffy and puffy when she is forced to come to the table. She just plain doesn't want to do anything related to school work. We do have good days but lately, they have all been a struggle. Its really hard on me.

 

Sandy

[Adrianne]

Every single morning is a struggle. She gives the biggest attitude when it comes time to start school. How do you handle this?? I am at a loss. She is usually ok when we get going but I am sick to death of it. I think she hates everything we do. What it is, is the fact I stop her from doing whatever she is doing and she doesn't like that. But hey, we have to get this stuff done. I have even pared it down to just math and a little spelling for the summer and she still gives me a hard time. Am I the only one dealing with this?? Is it an age thing?? She is 6 going on 35...that may be the problem! Need some tips on how to curb this behavior. This mom has had it!

 

Thanks,

Sandy

 

Have you tried giving her time warnings? Like, school will start in 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 1 minute etc? Also ringing a school bell to signal school starting instead of you telling her? May be like a game, you get a star or gold fish or something if you listen to the bell. The idea here is to get them trained to start doing it. Once they are trained and used to doing a routine, the complaining does decrease.

 

I usually handle this in one of two ways:

 

1. Try starting the day with something fun and school oriented, something she likes just to get her started. Make her want to start school. You might even want to get her opinion on what this should be. Make sure it is educational and school related like art, music, some sort of fun stretching exercise et cetera. Or give her a goal or reward for when you are done each subject. Again once she is used to the routine, the complaining will decrease.

 

2. If you still encounter problems, then some attitude adjustment is in order. Usually my dc sit at the table until they feel like cooperating if the above does not work. It takes a while but eventually they get it.

 

The most important thing to remember is to be consistent. Try to start school at the same time, or close to, every day. Do the same subjects everyday and do not give in to whining or complaining. Right now her complaining and you getting angry is your routine. Over time you can establish a new one.

[chai]

My dd went through this too, after being so excited about school when she was younger. I had to start a more regimented schedule which we still follow. We do specific subjects at specific times. With the schedule, she knew exactly how long something would take and when she would be done.

 

I also used a reward system. This was really the most effective way to change her attitude. I gave her points for getting work done, good work and a good attitude. When she had earned a certain number of points she could cash them in for a prize. She was really motivated over this. We don't use it anymore although I'm sure that she would still like it.

 

The good news is that she'll get over the attitude issues eventually.... Well, actually, she'll move on to new issues. :001_smile:

[Lovedtodeath]

Same here. I have to fight with her every 5 minutes to keep her going. We only do 45 minutes of table work and two read alouds per week. I keep trying to add more but she fights me so much with just this. She says it is boring and she already knows how to do it. But I can tell she does not. She makes mistakes and gets frustrated when she doesn't know an answer. I have decided it has been worse for 2 reasons.... we took two weeks off, and we got cable. She started out advanced so we were all pretty lazy about being consistent. Well, she is not advanced any more. She is forgetting everything she has known for a year! I am establishing a new rule. The TV is on for the same amount of time she spends reading and on schoolwork. Hopefully this will work. We will have to put her into PS in the fall if she keeps up the attitude.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

There really is something about little girls this age. It's an asserting more independence thing, I guess.

 

Another thing you might try is, "Okay, we are going to get our grammar, spelling, and math done, then we will have a snack/play outside for 15 minutes before we start our other subjects."

 

Does your dd have friends who attend public school? Can she see what their work looks like and talk to them about how they spend their day?

 

When I can, I give dd a set amount of time to get work done. I'll set the timer for 30 min. to finish her grammar. If she finishes in 15, she has 15 min to goof off. If she does not finish in 30 minutes, the unfinished portion becomes "homework" to be done in the evening- meaning it cuts into her playtime.

 

We also plan our schedule with something relatively easy that she likes first thing, and something she really really likes last of all. So she can start out on a good note and have something to look forward to at the end.

 

Something as simple as cool school supplies can make a difference too.

[Closeacademy]

It is an age thing. You just have to keep your chin up and keep going. I get excuses like:

 

"Oh! I am to tired to write." Complete with dramatic fait a la Scarlett of Gone with the Wind fame.

 

"My legs are tired, will you carry me."

 

"I hate to work."

 

Just keep to a good routine and she will work her way through it. Good luck. :001_smile:

[Trivium Academy]

We had this for a little while, it wasn't a consistent thing but it was present at least every day and mostly with math, her proclaimed favorite subject.

 

I talked to my dd (then 6) and we figured out a few things together:

- mix up the subjects daily or let her choose which to do first

- she preferred me staying with her, sitting beside her instead of leaving her to do the independent work and attending her younger brother

- she wanted to know ahead of time what we'd be doing and when

- we had many conversations about her job as a student and mine as a teacher

 

With math, I finally decided to cut back some of the review problems and she LOVED it. If there were 6 problems I told her to do 3 and if she got them right, she didn't have to do the other 3. If she gets them wrong, she has to do all 6. Beautiful compromise.

 

I've told her that if she wastes my time, (my teacher time) then I will waste her time (her play time) so ultimately how the day will go is up to her. I also send her to her room if her attitude gets out of hand, so that I don't respond to her in a bad way and she can calm down and think about why she's upset.

 

Having a stopwatch (timer) has helped tremendously, so has shortening our lesson time. I've changed my approach rather than curriculum, well I did change some curriculum. We worked on her attitude this year and now it's a lot better. She knows it's better to just get the work done than to fight.

 

When things have gotten hairy, I've had her do chores and then come back and do her lessons. I've taken privileges away, and I've gotten her dad involved anytime I have a consistent problem with her.

 

I hope this helps, it's such an individual thing what may work for me probably won't work for you. I know I had to change too, in respect to dd.

[PeterPan]

At that age I cut a deal with my dd about start times. She wanted to have time for herself in the morning to read for an hour or two before school, so I told her she should rise with her alarm clock, read to have her personal time (which is VERY important to them), and then start at the specified time. And then be firm on the specified time. Also, you might try starting with something fun like a read aloud or morning singing or PE, rather than math or latin. ;)

[TraceyS/FL]

I'm getting "old" at this homeschooling thing - because, gee, i'll say....

 

Gee, she's only 6, she has LOTS of time! LOL!!! :tongue_smilie:

 

But really, if you'd known me 5 years ago when i started - you would NEVER had said I would say that. My slow learner middle child has done strange things to me i think.....

 

Anyway, I hope you find something that will work. I actually find that i have my middle childs attention better after lunch. She's just not "in gear" until then (for bookwork). She's going to be 9 next week, but maturity wise she's in the 5-6 range.

 

:grouphug: (because, a 10yo in the throes of puberty ain't no piece of cake either! speaking the oldest here, the middle one is years and drugs away from that)

[Nestof3]

I get this sometimes from my youngest as well. It is all about the fact that they don't want to stop doing what they're doing.

 

Perhaps being consistent about the time would help? Or giving a notice, like, "After breakfast, we will begin learning together."

 

I also have to remind my boys that there are things we all have to do that we don't want to do, but that they have a lot of free time (which they use very creatively and I'm thankful for it), but if they cannot be cheerful and respectful when it's "school time," then I will limit their free time.

 

I do think the biggest thing is letting my boys know that they'll be an interruption -- that they will have to stop playing Playmobil in 10 minutes, or whatever. I'm the kind of person who likes to know I'm going to have to stop what I'm doing too. When my husband calls for Bible time, I too like to know ahead of time rather than, "Come now for Bible time." It's not that I don't enjoy the time, it's that I like to know I'm going to have to stop what I'm doing.

 

I've tried to be better about letting the boys know what our plans are for the day that morning. I'll let them know we have to go to the bank, the grocery store, etc. I'll let them know we have a dentist appt.

[thundersweet]

Thanks everyone. I will try some of these ideas. Wish me luck!:001_smile:

 

Thanks,

Sandy

[LanaTron]

I was just telling my aunt yesterday, "Just wait until your granddaughter is 5!" She said that the granddaughter is already quite a handful, that she was already there. I said, "No, wait until she turns 5. Then you'll really get it full force."

 

My dd5.5 has become very resistant, too, not so much with school work but the one itty bitty chore I ask of her each day.

 

Yesterday, I started to threaten with a time out, etc. But then I backed off and in my best Alpha dog voice said, "I want you to do your chore. None of us like doing chores. But we all do like having a house that is clean and neat. It makes us all feel good. So, I want you to do your part because you are part of this family." That Alpha dog voice, along with the fact that I made it clear what I expected, worked. She did her chore, although she cried the whole time. :) I didn't care if she cried, I just was glad that I came out on top, without having to "punish."

 

Anyway, my dd is very sensitive, so whenever I remember to use that "I'm in charge here" voice, and make my expectation very clear, it seems to work well.

 

Good luck!