PeacefulChaos Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 We are going away for a big family reunion type thing this weekend with DH's entire family. I'm stressing out. I don't look the way I want to look, weigh what I want to weigh, my clothes aren't all that great, my hair doesn't look good, my contacts didn't come in time, I tried a new makeup that made my face breakout... you name it, I'm feeling it. Help me. I don't know what to wear. I can't buy anything but I do have a few good things in my closet. My biggest problem is jeans - I have one pair that fits ok, some that are too big, one with a huge hole in the knee, and some that are too small. I don't have any other pants that fit well. My khakis are ok but aren't very comfortable, they just aren't big enough for comfort, I guess. And there is no give in the material, so even though they don't LOOK too small, they feel restricting. Does that make sense? The rest of my pants are either way too big or way too small. Mainly I'm trying to figure out what to wear on Saturday for the whole big party thing, and Sunday for church. Though I would like to look nice the entire weekend, Friday-Monday. Any help here would be wonderful... Oh, and with the hair...I had a perm but it's been like 7 months since I got it, so my hair is looking awful. :( I don't have a wonderful straightener (mine was like $20 from WM and I have no intention of dropping mega bucks on a straightener ever, much less now) and it isn't quite straight but it isn't quite wavy either... I may just have to stick with ponytails all weekend I guess??? :glare: And my bangs are hitting my glasses, which is making them flip out all the time, even after I straighten them so they won't. So my hair is another thing that's stressing me out a bit... :glare: Anyway, yeah. I'm just having a hard time here. Why is it that I do this when I'm going to see people I don't see often? Why, after 10 years, do I still care so much about trying to dress to impress DH's family? :tongue_smilie: this is me (first pic - it was right after the fast, though, the beginning of Feb, so I was about 10 lbs lighter), only I have to wear my glasses, like in the second pic... http://i1129.photobucket.com/albums/m520/bkb2001/IMG_0423.jpg http://i1129.photobucket.com/albums/m520/bkb2001/IMG_1095.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trresh Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 I'm in the same boat. I had to go to a wedding this past weekend and felt super frumpy. You could use a curling iron to put curls in your hair. My DD has one of those curling rod things and I'll curl her hair like Taylor Swift's. It's really cute. There are tons of 'how to' curling videos on YouTube. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trresh Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Here's my DD's curling iron or whatever it's called: http://www.target.com/p/Conair-Infiniti-You-Curl-Red/-/A-12468774 ETA: I like you in your glasses. I think they're really cute! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted October 20, 2011 Author Share Posted October 20, 2011 I'm not sure I want to try curls. Then again, I could try it - almost anything would be better than the mess it is if I do nothing. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parker Martin Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Ha. You look great. Nothing to worry about. And just think, all the other relatives are stressing about the same things! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josie Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Just go through your closet and find outfits that you like and wear them. At this point I think that is really all you can do. Do you have a good friend who will come over and help you go through your things? I always find it helpful to have another pair of eyes when I am feeling like you feel right now. A friend may see an outfit combo that you don't see because you are used to pairing only certain things together. Can you wear your jeans on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday? Or, maybe just wear your khaki pants to church and then switch back to the jeans for comfort? Or, do you have a comfortable skirt or dress you can wear all day on Sunday? Can you head to Goodwill to try to find a comfy pair of pants? I understand the issue with the bangs....I hated mine before the grew to a good length. Can you cut them yourself for this weekend and then start on the growing process again? Just treat your face tonight as much as you can today and tomorrow and then use make-up. Get rest and drink water...that seems to help my complexion. Really no great advice there. Anyway, I know how you feel, but you really are beautiful. If they don't like how you look it is THEIR problem, not yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 You are young and beautiful -- my gosh, your face is so fresh! Here are my suggestions -- go through your closet again: skirt, boots, opaque panty hose, cardigan, scarf for church? What would you have to get to put something like together? A great longish flowing knit skirt from WalMArt or Target? Hmmmmmm? Your hair: can you blow it dry and make it somewhat straight? Use hot curlers or an iron and just run your fingers through it? Have you seen those combs that are a comb on either end with elastic in the middle joining them? This is what it looks like. This is what it does: My hair is kind of short, but right now till my hair cut appt next week, I use one of these to keep it all neat looking. We are going to NJ for a family thing on Saturday -- I know how you feel -- I will wear a black sweater, black jeans and a deep grape cardigan. Take a breath and focus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 To start, you're adorable. Cut yourself some slack :001_smile:. Can you go to Goodwill to look for another pair of pants that you're comfortable with? Can you trim your bangs yourself? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 You can't go wrong wearing your hair up, not even in a ponytail all the time, but in a loose, sophisticated bun. Even just putting your ponytail up higher and wrapping a bit of hair around it makes it look more intentional. I straighten my hair with a straightener, but for my bangs, I use a large round brush and a blow dryer. You can get a nice large round brush for a few dollars and use it to straighten your hair, too. If you roll it straight back across the top of your head, it gives a lot of body. We bought a $50 straightener that goes to 430 degrees, and it is amazing. I don't think you have to spend $100, you just have to get the heat. I would wear the jeans that fit on Saturday. You will be most comfortable in them, and that confidence makes you feel better. One of my go-to looks is jeans, a V-neck sweater, a low, loose bun with side-swept bangs, and dangly earrings. It seems to give an automatic face lift and makes me feel pretty. It would look very smart with your glasses, too; they're cute! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted October 20, 2011 Author Share Posted October 20, 2011 Thanks for all the ideas. I really appreciate it. And seriously, your compliments are making me teary. :) I really appreciate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam L in Mid Tenn Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 You are beautiful. The glasses are really cute! Dress to be comfortable. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 You can't go wrong wearing your hair up, not even in a ponytail all the time, but in a loose, sophisticated bun. Even just putting your ponytail up higher and wrapping a bit of hair around it makes it look more intentional. One of my go-to looks is jeans, a V-neck sweater, a low, loose bun with side-swept bangs, and dangly earrings. It seems to give an automatic face lift and makes me feel pretty. It would look very smart with your glasses, too; they're cute! In red - -- :iagree: -- earrings, scarves, necklaces -- all those bring the eye of the observer to your face, and you are lovely --! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelissaMinNC Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 :grouphug: :grouphug: I have no advice, but I wanted to tell you, I think you're adorable. I love your glasses! I suspect you are your own worst critic, but I know how it feels to be unhappy with your weight and have hardly any clothes that fit right. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmvaughan4 Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 I agree, you are adorable! If you want hair ideas, go to Pinterest and search. There are all kinds of cute hairstyles that you could do. My favorite (when my hair was long) was to curl all of it and then put it in a messy bun on the side/nape of my neck. Cute and easy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 And just think, all the other relatives are stressing about the same things! This. Most people are too self-absorbed to notice :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 You're really cute, but it's likely that they're not judging you on the way you look. They probably understand that moms of young kids are busy and frazzled. When I'm around my son's girlfriend, I scarcely notice what she looks like (though she IS cute) because she's just so sweet. She's adorable to me because she has a lovable personality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brooketopia Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Stop stressing. You look like what you look like. That's the truth. Wear your regular clothes and make-up and be your regular self. You're not doing yourself, your family or anyone at the reunion any favors by pretending to be any other way. That being said, maybe you should take a look at the words you've written in that first post. Do you like feeling that way about yourself? Perhaps it's time to do a little self-inventory and change some habits so you can stop hating yourself. I don't say that in any mean way, I'm just trying to help you see what I saw from your post...sometimes that outside perspective helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted October 20, 2011 Author Share Posted October 20, 2011 Stop stressing. You look like what you look like. That's the truth. Wear your regular clothes and make-up and be your regular self. You're not doing yourself, your family or anyone at the reunion any favors by pretending to be any other way. That being said, maybe you should take a look at the words you've written in that first post. Do you like feeling that way about yourself? Perhaps it's time to do a little self-inventory and change some habits so you can stop hating yourself. I don't say that in any mean way, I'm just trying to help you see what I saw from your post...sometimes that outside perspective helps. Thanks. Honestly, DH's family is exceptionally nice, so I doubt they care one way or another what I look like. :tongue_smilie: Some of them are 'always' (you know, the few times I see them :D ) really put together and neat, and some aren't, and it varies day by day. I don't even know how to do my makeup differently, so that'll stay the usual. And I wouldn't act any different...I just don't want to look like a frazzled, tired, frumpy mom. That is a stigma I've always tried to stay far from. :) I think my post definitely sounds pretty terrible. I think it's all just coming to a head, so to speak - I've been wearing my glasses, which I feel VERY awkward teenager in (most likely because the last time I wore them, they were a different style, and I was 14 and I WAS an awkward teenager! :D ) since the end of August because of the eye ulcer and infection, and had convinced myself I could do glasses most of the time... then I see pictures of myself with contacts and think I look so much better (grass is always greener, kwim?) so I ordered them but they didn't get here on time. :glare: The makeup thing was well, whatever. I can cover up breakouts, mostly, and no one ever notices them but me. And I got my regular makeup to replace the other stuff, so that will help. My hair, I really should get re done but I don't feel like spending the $40 when there are other things I need to spend the money on. I've wanted to lose weight for awhile and haven't had the motivation. My clothes - well, we all get bored with our clothes. I tend to buy clothes too big because I size them to what I consider myself in my head, or I try them on but don't take time to see how they really look, just end up grabbing whatever because it's on sale. I am really happy that I'm going to go clothes shopping soon - I know I'll be getting a gift card for my birthday (Nov 8), which won't be much but should get me some new pants, at least. And IF DH gets a Christmas bonus (hoping hoping hoping) we don't need to do anything with it, so he and I want to go clothes shopping. Both of us are limited in our clothing selection - it just seems so frivolous to spend money on clothes for us when the kids need clothes (and the kids have really nice ones!), pictures need to be taken, trips are being taken, we want to do fun things together, etc. So we always get pushed to the bottom of the list, so to speak. Then I get DH stuff and not me, so mine is in the worst state. :) (Plus, he wears a uniform all day, so it saves on wear and tear on his clothes). Anyway, thank you for your honest words. :) I think I perpetuated my feeling by getting up this morning and putting on yoga pants and a t shirt (I never wear t shirts!) and throwing my hair in a ponytail, no makeup. Kinda just makes me feel like all those things I don't want to be, kwim? I don't want to be a fashionista, just want to feel like I have some way to look nice sometimes. I don't think I hate myself. I just greatly dislike the way I look. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 I absolutely love the idea of these curls! Very simple to do, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted October 20, 2011 Author Share Posted October 20, 2011 I absolutely love the idea of these curls! Very simple to do, That is really cute! I don't know if my hair is long enough, though... I could always see if DH would let me commandeer an old sock and try it! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 I think you look nice! I would love to see you at a family reunion. If your bangs bother you, can you get just the bangs trimmed? That's pretty inexpensive. And, at some point you just have to say "This is me! take it or leave it!" and stop worrying.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HayesW Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 1. You really are lovely! Your smile is so sweet. 2. Do you have a friend about the same size? I know I have several friends who are close in size to me, and we often swap or borrow clothes when we are tired of them, or if someone needs something fancy. Call the friend. She may have a dress she is tired of or would let you borrow. I have a great black stretchy dress that is appropriate for lots of occasions. At least 3 of my friends have borrowed it for assorted parties they've had to go to. It came from T.J. Maxx and was $35, so I never mind loaning it. 3. I went through a long phase where I was just not happy with myself. I finally decided to get over myself. It took a while, but I finally did. 4. I read last week that using a straightening iron to curl your hair gives really great natural looking curls. Maybe a container of a lightweight mousse would help with volume. I like Nuetrogena Triple Renewal. I got it at the grocery store and love it, plus it's cheap! 5. honey will help clear the breakout in no time at all. Really. Works for me like a dream. Just a TEENY bit before bed. 6. Weather? Warm or cold? Where will you be? Do you sew at all? You could probably whip up a simple cute skirt to wear to church or the party on Saturday to dress up a simple t0-shirt. Speaking of, I throw a cardigan over a t-shirt all the time to make it look better than a t-shirt alone. 7. These people love you. If they don't it's ok. You won't have to do this for another 10 years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 That is really cute! I don't know if my hair is long enough, though... I could always see if DH would let me commandeer an old sock and try it! :) There is another video where she uses 2 socks on either side of her head. Think Princess Leah ;) I have seen another where a girl with much shorter hair did it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 You look really cute in your glasses. But people are going to remember you for what's inside you: Were you kind? Were you a good listener or did you monopolize the conversation or sit aloof? Did you help out or let others do most of the work? Did you smile or frown? Did they see evidence that you and dh are in love? That's the kind of thing that people will remember. How you look, not much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllBoys Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 You are beautiful! I think if you have a big smile when you see them you can't go wrong. The person who cuts my hair told me if I ever need to trim my bangs, cut them when they are wet, only cut a small amount because when they dry they will be shorter, and never cut them above for eyebrows or cut into the sides. Accessorize whatever you wear with scarves, jewelry, whatever to draw attention away from whatever you are worried about. Belts over longer sweaters can hide a lot while looking stylish. I keep seeing that everywhere. You are adorable, everyone is worried about how they look so be confidant and just keep smiling the whole weekend. You will have a great time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenniferB Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 You're so cute, I wouldn't worry at all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.