Mormon Missionaries - Door Etiquette?

[WIS0320]

Last night I had two very nice young men show up at my door during bath time for the littles (7:30ish). I actually answered the door with the 1 year old wrapped in a towel as I had whooshed her out of the tub to go see who was at the door.

 

It was raining and dark and they were very polite and asked me if they could do "service" to help me out after I had told them I was very content with my own religious practice. I told them no, thanked them and shut the door. I have to admit I felt really badly that I'd let them go without offering them food or something else yet at the same time I was alone with my kids, it was bedtime and just not a good time for me. I wasn't going to invite two strange men into my home while alone with my children, no matter how nice they seemed at the door.

 

My question is this: When missionaries come to the door, if you do offer food, drink, etc. do they view this as interest in being witnessed to? I really don't want to be yet I appreciate what they are trying to do and I'd like to be kind and be a Christian witness in return via my actions towards them.

 

Also, do these boys go to a hotel, stay with local families or what? It just seemed odd to me that they would be out in the middle of a storm, at night in the dark going door to door at dinner time.

[Parker Martin]

:bigear:

 

I've wondered the exact same thing. I admire their tenacity out there, and I'd love to give them a little break with a snack, but I don't want to be stuck for three hours convincing them that I'm not going to become a Mormon.

[meggie]

You are way nicer than a lot of people. My husband was cursed at many times on his mission. And he went to France, where apparently they have swear words worse than the F word. They are used to it (and expect it)

 

For future reference, no being nice wouldn't be a sign of them needing to witness to you, especially if you add the "We're happy with our own religion." They are used to that as well.

 

And don't worry, I wouldn't have had two strange men in my house without my husband home. I've turned many JW missionaries away, feeling badly because of the same reasons you did.

 

Oh and no, they don't stay with family or at hotels. They have an apartment nearby where they stay.

[Happy2BaMom]

You are certainly nicer than I was the last time they rang my door bell.

 

I try to be polite, but my basic thought is - "You're showing up at my door, uninvited, to convince me that my current beliefs are inadequate and that you have the answer to how I can become adequate (in your eyes)."

 

Which is exactly what they are trying to do.

 

So I keep it short and sweet.

 

'Nuff said.

[FaithManor]

:bigear:

 

I've wondered the exact same thing. I admire their tenacity out there, and I'd love to give them a little break with a snack, but I don't want to be stuck for three hours convincing them that I'm not going to become a Mormon.

 

 

I am always very polite, but I do state that I am quite content with my faith and not interested in being proselytized. As a general rule, I smile and wave when they leave because I know that the intent is to be good hearted and show love. I just don't want to leave any false hope. However, if I had a young child in the bathtub or one that was sick and I was attending to them, I would probably not even bother to answer the door...so I guess that is where my politeness ends.

 

As a general rule, I don't offer food and drink. But, if it is the holidays and I have a recent batch of cookies or turnovers on the counter, I'll send them away with a treat. However, I would do that for my family, friends, and neighbors as well. I once had a police officer knock on the door here because of a disturbance in town and he wanted to let me know that he and his partner would be patrolling the block and poking around and not to be nervous about it. I thought that was very sweet, very professional and I rewarded he and his partner with warm raspberry turnovers fresh from the oven. They seemed rather thrilled with the snack.

 

Faith

[DianeW88]

My son is serving an LDS mission in California as we speak.

 

There are really no "rules" and I promise they won't be offended if you decline to listen to their message. Actually, if your dh wasn't home and you had no adult males over the age of 18 (or maybe it's 21, I forget) in your home at the time, they aren't allowed to come in...even if you invite them.

 

As for where they stay, the church provides them with their own apartment, which they usually share with two other missionaries in the area. They are gone for two full years and only contact family and friends through mail (or now email) and on the phone on Christmas and Mother's Day. Their emphasis is much more on community service now than proselytizing and they truly are eager to help people out. My son has helped people paint their house, clear out yards (for an elderly lady who lived down the street and couldn't manage), drive folks to doctor's appointments, teach English for free in a community of Hispanic migrant workers, organize a health-mobile clinic for that same community, and basically...anything else they're asked to do.

 

We pay $400 per month for our missionary (much less than what is required to house and feed a boy from 19-21) and the church makes up the difference. They are provided with vehicles and cell phones and get a monthly allowance for food, haircuts, etc. We also provide him with a debit card in case he needs something extra (like pizza for lunch on occasion).

 

They have one day "off" per week and usually do something fun within the boundaries of their mission, as well as chores like laundry, etc.

 

Their dinners are usually provided by the LDS members in the area, who always take very good care of them. My son has been out for 23 months and has gained 30 pounds. :lol:

 

Anyway, don't feel badly about telling them "no". Honestly...you didn't hurt their feelings. But if you ever want to listen to their message...I can hook you up. :D

[swellmomma]

The mormon missionaries that came to my house in my old city I invited in. My neighbors were LDS and knew them. I had them in for dinner often and we discussed religion though I made it very clear that I was not going to convert. They even brought us a Wii once. They did do service for me, mowing, moving furniture etc. They were staying with other missionaries of the church and at at a different home each night. Even when I didn't have them right at my house I ate with them at times at my neighbor's place. It's funny when the JW come to my door I do not feel the same way about them, and just say no and shut the door. But when the LDS missionaires came I was more friendly/open to them. I think because in the year of interactions they never tried to convert me, and they seemed to genuinely wanted to do service which I really needed.

 

In this town I have never had an LDS missionary come to the door, not sure what I would do now. Though we did see some at the daity queen once and my kids recognized the standard clothing they wore and went and said hello and asked if they were missionaries and had a little visit.

[i.love.lucy]

My understanding is that they are well trained for what they do, and do not expect any food or drinks when they come to the door. I think you were absolutely right to not invite men into your home when alone with 2 little kids.

 

I personally do not engage whatsoever. I politely tell them I am not interested and shut the door or move towards the house if they catch me outside. My husband, OTOH, loves to debate with them and will gladly talk and talk to them in the hopes of witnessing to them. His thought is that it's a two way street. Besides, they are well trained in their theology and he is well trained in his, so it can be fun for both sides to get into deep discussions. If it's not, or they seem frustrated, he will certainly let them go on about their business. But no, we don't offer refreshments.

Edited October 13, 2011 by i.love.lucy

[Veritaserum]

You handled it fine and no, they wouldn't have stayed for 3 hours trying to convert you. :) I'm rather disturbed and disappointed by the "you're nicer than I am" comments. When missionaries (of any faith) show up at my door, I politely say I am happy with my faith and I wish them well. I see no reason for rudeness or cruelty, especially if they are polite themselves. :confused:

[FaithManor]

And don't worry, I wouldn't have had two strange men in my house without my husband home. I've turned many JW missionaries away, feeling badly because of the same reasons you did.

 

 

 

 

This too! I am very, very careful about strangers in the house period. So I would never invite two women in that I couldn't verify identity and intent with some organization. I may talk to them on the steps to the house, but I won't let them inside. It's just too hard to tell the innocent from those with ulterior motives these days and I want to model safe behavior to the boys. They are old enough to stay alone now and for even an entire day. I don't want them to think that because someone says they are with this church or that organization or whatever, that they should welcome them inside. That's too dangerous and they aren't old enough to have good instincts yet.

 

Faith

[Dolphin]

I am polite when they are polite. Ringing your bell at 7:30 pm is not polite. That is family time, and the time in the day that people are winding down.

 

If the had rung the doorbell at 3:30 and listened and respected that I had not interest in becoming Mormon, I might ask if they wanted a snack (and I would bring it to them). I do not invite strangers into my home.

 

I have one of those signs by my door saying "no soliciting unless you are a neighborhood kid" And an official "No soliciting" sign. If someone rings my doorbell, I point to the sign, say "you are breaking the law" and shut the door on them.

 

Political and religious, It depends on them. Between 9:30 and 4, I am fine with them ringing my bell. Earlier or later...nope!

 

If they are polite and listen (not just talk over you), I will be polite, but firm. I might offer a juice box and granola bar (especially on a really hot or really miserable day). If they are rude, I just shut and lock the door.

[MrsJewelsRae]

I am polite, but clear and firm. I tell them I am a born again Christian, that Jesus is my Savior, and I have faith that I will be in Heaven when I die because of His death on the cross for my sins. Refuse literature, if they still persist I will give them a gospel tract and invite them to a gospel service at my church and tell them to have a nice day. Close door. :001_smile:

[Starr]

My son is serving an LDS mission in California as we speak.

 

There are really no "rules" and I promise they won't be offended if you decline to listen to their message. Actually, if your dh wasn't home and you had no adult males over the age of 18 (or maybe it's 21, I forget) in your home at the time, they aren't allowed to come in...even if you invite them.

 

As for where they stay, the church provides them with their own apartment, which they usually share with two other missionaries in the area. They are gone for two full years and only contact family and friends through mail (or now email) and on the phone on Christmas and Mother's Day. Their emphasis is much more on community service now than proselytizing and they truly are eager to help people out. My son has helped people paint their house, clear out yards (for an elderly lady who lived down the street and couldn't manage), drive folks to doctor's appointments, teach English for free in a community of Hispanic migrant workers, organize a health-mobile clinic for that same community, and basically...anything else they're asked to do.

 

We pay $400 per month for our missionary (much less than what is required to house and feed a boy from 19-21) and the church makes up the difference. They are provided with vehicles and cell phones and get a monthly allowance for food, haircuts, etc. We also provide him with a debit card in case he needs something extra (like pizza for lunch on occasion).

 

They have one day "off" per week and usually do something fun within the boundaries of their mission, as well as chores like laundry, etc.

 

Their dinners are usually provided by the LDS members in the area, who always take very good care of them. My son has been out for 23 months and has gained 30 pounds. :lol:

 

Anyway, don't feel badly about telling them "no". Honestly...you didn't hurt their feelings. But if you ever want to listen to their message...I can hook you up. :D

 

I have not found the part about not going in homes without men at home to be true. It is fairly recent that they are offering to "help out". This has to be part of their approach to mission. :D

[DianeW88]

Yes, they can help outside your home (cleaning gutters, whatever) if your dh isn't home. But the rules are that they aren't allowed to enter your home. Of course, I can't speak for the behavior of any individual missionaries, but even here (yes, we have missionaries in Utah, too :D), they won't come into my house if my dh isn't home (and I always invite them in). If it's summer, I just usually give them a popsicle or some lemonade and they have it on the front porch.

 

And yes, service is part of the missionary program...it's just not overt proselytizing. Still proselytizing...just not hitting you over the head with it. ;)

[amey311]

 

There are really no "rules" and I promise they won't be offended if you decline to listen to their message. Actually, if your dh wasn't home and you had no adult males over the age of 18 (or maybe it's 21, I forget) in your home at the time, they aren't allowed to come in...even if you invite them.

 

 

This, apparently, wasn't the rule (or it wasn't followed) when the LDS missionaries showed up at my door a few years ago. They came in when I invited them, and did so when they came back the next week. The third week they came with 2 additional adults. At that point I had learned from an LDS friend that they weren't supposed to come in if I was home alone or just with my kids. I mentioned this to them and they said, "That's why we brought some more people with us this time." I jokingly shot back, "so i'm MORE outnumbered??" They looked a little horror struck.

 

They were very gracious when I said I didn't think LDS was for me, and never came back after that point. We did have some humorous (for me) conversations, though.

[Ellie]

I'm all smiley-face as I tell them thanks but no thanks and close the door.

[Miss Peregrine]

I don't answer the door at all. I look through the window and if I don't know them I just go about my business.

[blondeviolin]

Every once in a while you will find a Mormon who is insistent on converting you. More often than not, though, missionaries will be happy they have offered to inform you of our beliefs and leave it at that. If you're not interested, that's more than fine. Allowing them to do service for you wouldn't be leading them on, so to speak.

 

I'm also disappointed by the thoughts of rude comments to nice young people. Personally, I don't feel that 7:30 is late to knock on someone's door. I do think anything past 8 or 9 can be rude.

 

And, no, I wouldn't let strangers in if I was alone with my children.

[annandatje]

I feel no obligation to answer the door or to provide a snack or drink to uninvited people. I presume the missionaries are aware of their schedule for the day and have had made satisfactory arrangements to handle their food, drink, and restroom needs. If I do answer the door, a simple "I'm not interested" prior to closing door should suffice.

 

There is no need to be rude, to attempt to convert the missionaries to your brand of religion, or to ask them to help you with chores.

[Jennifer3141]

We had them coming once/twice a week for several months and by the end, I was not polite. Actually, I gave them one visit and asked them to convey to their bosses or whatever that we are atheists and that their presence wasn't wanted.

 

They come at night and want to "help out." I don't want/need help from wandering religious boys in the dark. The last time, I released my 120 pound dog and walked away. The dog knew from my attitude that they weren't wanted so he had fun going into full on guard dog mode. The boys can run when they need to!!

 

I have a gate at the base of my 1/3 mile long driveway and "No trespassing" signs. I cannot make my home LESS inviting to these people.

 

I finally called the police and apparently many of my neighbors had faced the same kind of harrassment. I don't know what the cops did but the harrassment finally stopped. The LDS church is not well looked upon here and it's just a matter of time before one of our "good old boys" blows them out of the sky. There's no way in heck I'd ever let my children do something like wander around strangers' neighborhoods and try to prosyletize to people who obviously have no desire to know anything about that church in the dark!!!

 

But I have chuckled about this politically because the conservative neighbors who might have voted for a Mormon sure changed their minds when we all got harrassed weekly for that religion. And now everywhere I look, there are anti-Mormon signs in people's yards so it's helping the other guys, I guess. I can see two of the signs from my office.

 

If anything, this seemed to make my Christian neighbors tighten up their ranks. There is a phone tree and everyone tries to make sure that the women who are alone at night know when the boys are in the neighborhood. I got "adopted" into the phone tree because people know DH frequently works late. But I know that local pastors preached about the differences between the LDS church and our denominations and there were bookclubs springing up around that Krakauer book.

 

Believe whatever you want, but don't come to my home preaching to me unless I can go to YOUR home and question you at night about why you believe what you believe.

[mommaduck]

You handled it fine and no, they wouldn't have stayed for 3 hours trying to convert you. :) I'm rather disturbed and disappointed by the "you're nicer than I am" comments. When missionaries (of any faith) show up at my door, I politely say I am happy with my faith and I wish them well. I see no reason for rudeness or cruelty, especially if they are polite themselves. :confused:

:iagree:

[twoforjoy]

I don't get LDS missionaries here, but I do get Jehovah's Witnesses pretty regularly. Of course, about 3/4 of the time they happen to stop by on a day when I haven't showered yet, I've got spit-up all over me, I'm carrying a screaming baby and have a crying toddler in the background, and I'm never sure if they're thinking "Now this is a woman who needs to get saved!" or "How quickly can we get out of here?" ;) They've never asked me about providing service, which is probably good for them, because I'd hand them a baby and point them to the pile of dishes in the sink. Well, I probably wouldn't, but I'd certainly be tempted.

 

If things aren't totally chaotic in my house, and it seems appropriate (like if it's particularly hot or cold or they look tired), I'll let them know I'm not interested then see if they would like something to drink.

 

I'm not a fan of proselytizing. However, I tend to think most of the people doing it are nice, well-meaning people, and I'm sure walking around all day knocking on doors is no fun, especially when you're going to be encountering a lot of rude people. I once had a job as a telemarketer, so I sympathize. I've never had them take me up on my offer of food or drink, though. I don't know if that's policy or what.

Edited October 13, 2011 by twoforjoy

[MamaSheep]

Last night I had two very nice young men show up at my door during bath time for the littles (7:30ish). I actually answered the door with the 1 year old wrapped in a towel as I had whooshed her out of the tub to go see who was at the door.

 

It was raining and dark and they were very polite and asked me if they could do "service" to help me out after I had told them I was very content with my own religious practice. I told them no, thanked them and shut the door. I have to admit I felt really badly that I'd let them go without offering them food or something else yet at the same time I was alone with my kids, it was bedtime and just not a good time for me. I wasn't going to invite two strange men into my home while alone with my children, no matter how nice they seemed at the door.

 

My question is this: When missionaries come to the door, if you do offer food, drink, etc. do they view this as interest in being witnessed to? I really don't want to be yet I appreciate what they are trying to do and I'd like to be kind and be a Christian witness in return via my actions towards them.

 

Also, do these boys go to a hotel, stay with local families or what? It just seemed odd to me that they would be out in the middle of a storm, at night in the dark going door to door at dinner time.

 

 

I'm trying to imagine the caloric intake if every person whose door they knocked on gave them something to eat. We'd have to roll them home...lol.

 

I agree with those who said this was a very appropriate and courteous way to handle the situation. I'm sure they didn't feel bad and you shouldn't either.

[Tap]

I don't let them in either. I have several neighbors who are LDS, and we are very close to an LDS church. We get missionaries at least once a month. I simply say "I am not interested but I do appreciate that you took the time to come by today". Then I close the door. I used to try to have a few sentence dialogue with them, but found that the more they were allowed to talk, the more aggressive they got with me about taking their literature.

[NicAnn]

I don't get LDS missionaries here, but I do get Jehovah's Witnesses pretty regularly. Of course, about 3/4 of the time they happen to stop by on a day when I haven't showered yet, I've got spit-up all over me, I'm carrying a screaming baby and have a crying toddler in the background, and I'm never sure if they're thinking "Now this is a woman who needs to get saved!" or "How quickly can we get out of here?" ;)

 

If things aren't totally chaotic in my house, and it seems appropriate (like if it's particularly hot or cold or they look tired), I'll let them know I'm not interested then see if they would like something to drink.

 

As a Jehovah's Witness, I have to tell you I appreciate this. We never have ANY intention (nor is it allowed) to try and force beliefs on people. If someone says, "No thanks", we say thank you and move on. We won't come back unless requested by you. We hit the houses on our routes every 6m-1 year. Thanks for your kindness!

[WIS0320]

I'm trying to imagine the caloric intake if every person whose door they knocked on gave them something to eat. We'd have to roll them home...lol.

 

I agree with those who said this was a very appropriate and courteous way to handle the situation. I'm sure they didn't feel bad and you shouldn't either.

 

In my defense, it was the timing and that it was raining and dark outside that had me feeling badly and wondering if they'd had dinner or not. I wouldn't usually feel like I need to feed strangers who are at my door but young men on a mission seem like they might need some home cooked food more than other people who show up ringing my door bell!

[ereks mom]

I've seen Mormon missionaries in town, but our where we live, in the boonies, we get LOTS of Jehovah's Witnesses. They invariably show up on Saturday morning--which is family time for us--and no matter how many times we've politely told them we have our own beliefs, dh is a Southern Baptist minsiter, we're not interested, no thanks, etc., etc., the STILL come back. Sometimes it's a couple of times a month, sometimes it's only a few times a year, but still, they come. I heard once that it's because we accept their literature when they offer it (which we do because dh likes to keep informed about the beliefs & practices of the various sects, cults, and denominations) so they count us as potential converts. Nope, not a chance.

Edited October 13, 2011 by ereks mom

[Pamela H in Texas]

and I'm sure walking around all day knocking on doors is no fun, especially when you're going to be encountering a lot of rude people. I once had a job as a telemarketer, so I sympathize.

 

Actually, even when it is cold or 100 degrees, it is still a lot of fun. We're with friends. We have a lot of conversation. We play games, often Cash Cab JW version, ABCs of the Bible, etc. We take breaks, have lunch together, etc. It really is a lot of fun.

 

And honestly? In two days of this sort of a thread, you will "meet" a lot more outright opposition than you'll meet in a year going out 5-20 hours per week. Seriously. The majority of people are not interested in talking about spiritual things, but are capable of communicating that nicely. The couple that don't rarely bother us past the porch, if that.

 

Like Nicole said, we have a territory. Some parts of it (town, for example) are worked more often. Other parts are worked less often, but ideally every 6-12months at least. Some people are home each time we come by. Some people are never home. It just is what it is.

 

ETA: Here there is less rudeness, opposition, persecution, and worse. We are in well over 200 lands. Unfortunately, our brothers and sisters in some areas have it much worse all around than we do here.

Edited October 13, 2011 by 2J5M9K

[Farrar]

The Mormons are really active in our neighborhood - there's a little mission church down the street and I see them out and about on their bikes all the time or walking from the grocery store. But they've never come to our house. The JW's on the other hand... Oy. I don't want to be rude, but when I'm holding two screaming babies, don't stand there knocking nonstop then tell me that's a good time to try and talk about Jesus.

[cougarmom4]

The LDS church is not well looked upon here and it's just a matter of time before one of our "good old boys" blows them out of the sky.

 

:001_huh: Um, wow.

[Melinda in VT]

I *really* dislike door-to-door anything. Also telemarketers. I consider both practices to be extremely rude.

 

But I try not to take either out on the individual people who come to my door or dial my number. That doesn't mean I encourage them in any way, but it means that I say "No, thank you" in a polite tone and close the door or hang up the phone with the usual amount of force.

[Georgiana Daniels]

I never thought about offering food or drink to the missionaries, but it sounds like such a kind thing to do. Usually I tell them I'm not interested, and they are quite polite about it.

 

I'm not Mormon or JW, but here's what I admire:

 

*Commitment to beliefs, so much they're willing to put feet to it.

*Tenacity

*Courage (because it can get ugly out there!)

 

For these reasons, it wouldn't occur to me to be rude. I used to go door to door (but for something altogether different) and there were always a handful of people that were mean. Guess what? This is a small town and I remember them. I no longer patronize their businesses. Rudeness benefits no one.

[Jennifer3141]

:001_huh: Um, wow.

 

I don't like it but it's the reality of this area. There's a reason we have a Michigan Militia up here. :glare:

 

I think it's the height of irresponsibility to go poking around some people's homes up here.

[cougarmom4]

I don't like it but it's the reality of this area. There's a reason we have a Michigan Militia up here. :glare:

 

I think it's the height of irresponsibility to go poking around some people's homes up here.

 

Well, I was more commenting on YOUR comment than anything else.

[gardenmom5]

My question is this: When missionaries come to the door, if you do offer food, drink, etc. do they view this as interest in being witnessed to? I really don't want to be yet I appreciate what they are trying to do and I'd like to be kind and be a Christian witness in return via my actions towards them.

 

Also, do these boys go to a hotel, stay with local families or what? It just seemed odd to me that they would be out in the middle of a storm, at night in the dark going door to door at dinner time.

 

if it's a super hot day and you offer them water/etc., they will be grateful. (so will their mothers). if you are not interested in hearing their message, just saying "no thank you" is fine, and they will accept that. They've heard it many times from many other people. If you are interested in talking to them at another time because right now doesn't work, that works too.

 

If you have a pile of leaves that need to be raked up, it's fine to ask them about that as service also. (if you don't have anything for them to do, you don't have to ask them. It's okay, they won't be offended.) they could probably come back during the day when it wasn't stormy. They just want to help people. After pounding the pavement all day, they do like to feel useful once in a while. they do have a curfew when they are expected to be back in their apartment, so I assure you, they are not out very late.

 

They usually have simple/basic furnished apartments that they live in with one or two other companionships (depends upon number of bedrooms that will fit a set of bunkbeds, and how spread out the area is). Some area's they may live in a member's home. Varies with what works for the area. They are paying their own bills from savings from jobs they worked before they went on their missions. (or their families are paying their bills.) This is completely unpaid. Their first purpose to help teach people of Jesus Christ, and the blessing that is for those who do accept Him.

[Maus]

In my defense, it was the timing and that it was raining and dark outside that had me feeling badly and wondering if they'd had dinner or not. I wouldn't usually feel like I need to feed strangers who are at my door but young men on a mission seem like they might need some home cooked food more than other people who show up ringing my door bell!

Bless you for that!

 

I'm LDS and I was a missionary (yes, girls can be missionaries, too.) Despite the stereotype of Mormon Missionaries going door-to-door in pairs, going door-to-door is actually a last resort on the list of approved ways to spend your time. If they were out at dinner time, it means that they had no appointments to teach (the most productive way to spend time, as you are obviously working with someone who is interested in what you have to say), no dinner appointment with a member, no service project, etc.

 

That said, if you have to go door-to-door, since we emphasize families and try not to undermine family relationships, the best time to go to find both husband and wife home from work is at dinnertime.

[Jennifer3141]

Well, I was more commenting on YOUR comment than anything else.

 

Well since you are light on facts about what's upseting you, there's nothing I can do about that. :001_huh:

[Jennifer3141]

I have to share my very last JW visit. I was moving heifers--that's sort of like herding cats, only they weigh 900 lbs. I was on a rank, green horse and I'd finally gotten the yearlings together to move up to the upper pastures. The visitors drove up, too fast, splitting the herd. They started to get out and I hollered at them to NOT get out. They smiled, nodded, got out anyway and started waving their arms around! We crowhopped over (remember the green horse?) and I laid my large whip across the windshield and suggested that they never return. They haven't... And then it took me another hour to gather the heifers again...

 

We live just down the road from a cult and unfortunately, two of our ditches run through their property. So, we have way more contact than I'd like, but there it is. There happens to be a stock right-of-way through their compound and the neighbors had gotten tired of the constant proselytizing and non-payment of bills. We were being told that we couldn't go to the ditches at night (um, high water during flood season is at 2:00 am, that's when the river crests), we couldn't work on the ditchbanks, couldn't put a dozer in the river, that the neighbors had to put up better fences (it's a fence-out state), etc. Well, the neighbors had finally had enough and when it was time to bring the cows home (about 3000 of them) they put them in at a dead run. See, if you have a stock right-of-way through your place, it behooves you to LEAVE the fences up--not tear them all down and plant flowers. If you do, you're probably going to lose a few petunias... 3000 head can do a lot of damage, expecially when the bulls are still out. The cult quit proselytizing and left people alone!

 

So the next time our prosyletizers show up, can I borrow some cows?? The chickens and goats don't seem to bother these guys. :D

 

Actually, the guy across the street has 10 beef cattle but I don't think even they would have the same effect if we got them running as 3000 would...

[Daisy]

I don't answer the door when my husband is not home unless I am expecting a tradesperson or a friend. We have a no soliciting sign up.

 

Hopefully that doesn't offend too many people.

 

I'm very cautious ever since I came home to find burglars in my house a few years ago.

[TravelingChris]

I haven't seen any Mormon missionaries in years. I think it must be at least 10 years or so. I do move around but in none of my places have I met them recently. We have had run0ins with JW. I bet we get another visit here since we were moving in, dh had no idea who these people were and was busy and just took the pamphlet without looking while continuing to do whatever work he was doing.

 

My favorite missionary story is when I was living in Belgium. JW is against the law in Belgium and one day these ladies came down our private road (it was shared by four homeowners but not the public) and wanted to talk to me. Well I figured out they were JW but I didn't really know enough French to even attempt to do any conversion or even theological discussion. What I did manage to do was tell them that in the USA, we have freedom of religion and they would not be breaking the law there as they were doing here. I just told them how the US had lots of rights.They left and didn't try to convert me.

[Ali in OR]

I'm another one who doesn't answer the door after dark if dh isn't here. Unless I see the UPS truck idling in the street (those Christmas-time deliveries are often after dark!).

[gardenmom5]

My son is serving an LDS mission in California as we speak.

Actually, if your dh wasn't home and you had no adult males over the age of 18 (or maybe it's 21, I forget) in your home at the time, they aren't allowed to come in...even if you invite them.

I think it's 21.

 

They are gone for two full years and only contact family and friends through mail (or now email) and on the phone on Christmas and Mother's Day. They are provided with vehicles and cell phones and get a monthly allowance for food, haircuts, etc.

 

just so other's understand

- it's ONLY parents they can send e-mail to. (unless that has changed in the last three years). people can e-mail/snail-mail them, then it is most efficient to print the letters off and they can reply later. There is a limited amount of time allowed at the internet cafes (2dd was in Chile) where they are online on that one-day-a-week P-day, and they also have reports they need to write up to send off. they can write paper letters to friends and others. Christmas/Mother's Day phone calls are to family only.

 

Cells phone usage is for missionary work related stuff. Missionaries also walk/ride-the-bus, or have bikes (or hitchhike on the back of a farmers haywagon in rural romania ;)); varies with the mission's location.

[gardenmom5]

I have not found the part about not going in homes without men at home to be true.

 

They aren't supposed to. They aren't even supposed to accept rides from women. some places I'm sure they are "reminded" about that more than other places.

[LeslieAnneLevine]

I am really particular about answering the door and the phone. I don't want to talk to anyone who wants to peddle anything, be it magazine subscriptions or their religion.

 

I realize that they feel an obligation to do their field work but I want no part of it. However, there have been a couple of times I was in my yard and had to talk to someone (JW both times I believe) I was not rude in the least, unless someone would think it's rude to decline their printed materials. What's the point of taking them only to throw them away. I think the "you're nicer than me" comments referred to the OP feeling guilty that she didn't offer them something to eat, not that she didn't slam the door in their face.

 

Re: Mormons in France, I remember seeing them occasionally when I lived there. I've always wondered what their success rate was in France vs. in the U.S.

[Maus]

I try to be polite, but my basic thought is - "You're showing up at my door, uninvited, to convince me that my current beliefs are inadequate and that you have the answer to how I can become adequate (in your eyes)."

 

Which is exactly what they are trying to do.

I'm sorry you feel/felt that way. I hope it wasn't their attitude at the door that made you feel like that.

 

From the other end of it, none of my fellow missionaries 25 years ago showed signs of that attitude.

 

To make a WTM board parallel, it was much more like if I were to happen into my local Target store to discover they had an XYZ widget that would work so perfectly for homeschooling and and its only a dollar. As soon as I get home, I jump on the boards in my excitement to share what I found with my friends. If you don't happen to see the need for an XYZ widget, you could say, "No, Thanks," or "Thanks for thinking of me, or "We already have something similar that is working for us."

 

We really appreciated it when people just politely told us they were happy with where they were/what they had. People who could manage a "Thanks for thinking of me," so to speak, made our day, even our month.

[MamaSheep]

Believe whatever you want, but don't come to my home preaching to me unless I can go to YOUR home and question you at night about why you believe what you believe.

 

FWIW, you're welcome to come over for dinner some evening and discuss my beliefs. I only ask that you offer me the same courtesy in my home that you would expect of me if I were to come to yours. :)

[Little Nyssa]

I do admire their dedication and faith.

When we lived in an unsafe area, I got into the habit of not opening the door for anyone.

Now, I do talk to them when they come. I let them tell me about their beliefs, and then I tell them a little about mine. It has been really difficult to have a real dialogue because I feel that they have canned answers. I have literature ready at the door and I always offer it. So far nobody would take it!

But I would never be rude to them. I wouldn't offer food either, though, unless it was a scorching hot day maybe something to drink.

I would not like to have them do any service for me, when I have no intention of converting or even continuing a fruitless conversation. That would be taking advantage of them.

[SKL]

Personally I would not let men into my house while I was the only adult there, unless I knew for sure who they were and what they had come for. No offense, but anyone can "say" he's a missionary, right? And also, even a missionary could have an evil thought. It's just not wise to put yourself (and your kids) in a vulnerable position. I am sure that the church / missionaries would understand/agree.

 

And as for hospitality, I don't think they are "entitled" to any in that circumstance. They weren't invited and didn't have a scheduled appointment. I think it is enough that you answered the door and spoke pleasantly.

[Jennifer3141]

FWIW, you're welcome to come over for dinner some evening and discuss my beliefs. I only ask that you offer me the same courtesy in my home that you would expect of me if I were to come to yours. :)

 

And there's the difference. I would only come if I had an actual invitation. I would never just show up at your house at dinnertime and expect a conversation. :001_smile:

[shinyhappypeople]

Personally I would not let men into my house while I was the only adult there, unless I knew for sure who they were and what they had come for. No offense, but anyone can "say" he's a missionary, right? And also, even a missionary could have an evil thought. It's just not wise to put yourself (and your kids) in a vulnerable position. I am sure that the church / missionaries would understand/agree.

 

 

:iagree: Not a chance. And answering the door after dark to two strangers... no way. I am FAR from paranoid and pretty free-range in my parenting, but even I have limits.