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Is this standard or a little over the top?


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That sounds so weird to me--to require ANYthing except maybe a safety seminar (we had to do a diocesan-led sexual abuse awareness thing) for volunteers! My goodness, what are the consequences that they could enforce if you don't give "notice?" Shunning or can't take Eucharist or something? Geesh.

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I simply wouldn't go back. Done. I would give the y.p. a call and tell him that we will not be giving an additional 30 days because you cannot conscientiously allow yourselves to participate with the changes that have put into effect. I don't see how they can force you to continue?

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Oh sure, it says right here in first ridiculous, chapter three, verse seven: "Thou must give thine youth pastor thirty days notice if thou decidest to cease volunteering in thine youth ministry."

 

:tongue_smilie:

 

No, of course you do not 'have' to give thirty days notice. I don't know what's going so wrong with the youth ministry that you feel you need to back out (since you didn't say, lol). But I'd guess that there's some sort of nonesense going on, and you don't feel the Lord would have you there. Well, then leave.

 

Follow the Lord's leading. He'll tell you who to minister to, and when, and where. Why in the world would a church want someone in a ministry where they weren't called? That's not at all what the church is about. Sign a paper; how silly. 'Here, let's get you into a binding contract so that you're obligated to minister, no mater how off the path I take the ministry. That way, when you hear the Lord telling you to leave, I can FORCE you to stay thirty more days'.

 

Absurd.

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You're a volunteer. The youth pastor, as a paid employee of the church, might have to give 30 days notice, but you do not. As a pastor's wife, I could see wanting some notice if I had to fill a Sunday school position or something like that, but I wouldn't demand it. And from what you say, it's not like they will be scrambling if you are not there.

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In a perfect world and if you were leaving for no other reason than you had served your time, then I'd say it would be polite to tell the board (or whoever) that you were planning to retire in a month. However, in difficult or unusual circumstances and they can handle it just fine without you, I think it's fine to say you'll go to one more meeting and that's it.

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30 days? :svengo: I once gave a two month notice at a job, because I knew someone would have to step up into my position. Beyond that a PAYING job has only received two weeks. Volunteer work? I can see how 30 days might be nice if you were stepping down for other reasons. In the case where you are disagreeing with the direction of the ministry I don't feel notice is necessary. You stated your reason.

 

I do agree it would be nice if you could tactfully address the youth themselves.

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No, I would not stay an additional 30 days.

 

However, as a husband-wife team that also left a youth ministry (and the church it was in), I would recommend that you go at least once more and let the kids know that you won't be continuing on. We didn't do that (ugly situation, and we just.wanted.to.be.done), and we damaged the relationships we had with those teens. I don't know if it was because we left without saying anything, or if it was the scuttlebutt after we left, but we lost some very close friendships with those kids and we really regret it. I wouldn't go into details about why, but I would let them know, and that you will miss them/keep in touch.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

Go, and say goodbye. Give the kids closure on your departure.

 

I would go one last day. Then give formal written notice (cc'd to whomever is in charge at the parent church) that it was your last day, and would not be returning. By giving written notice you are letting them know that there will not be an adult at the next event, and that way you can't be held liable. I would wait to give written notice until after you have a chance to say goodbye, so they don't try to prevent you from saying goodbye.

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I agree with everyone else that 30 days is not necessary. We do the Jr church for the prek-k-1 ages in our church and if we were to step down, we would have to give notice because we are the main teachers and it would be more difficult to fill the position. However, if there is plenty of help, I see no reason for such a long notice. I would go back once or twice to help the kids transition. Good luck!

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Of course, I do not know the particular circumstances, but I am surprised that the YP would want leaders that do not agree/support the ministry completely.

 

If he was told that you have differences and do not feel you can continue, he should gracefully accept that. It sounds like you are being manipulated into staying and that is not cool (to put it mildly).

 

You are under no obligation to stay. I would leave immediately and my dc wouldn't be going, either.

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It would be thoughtful to give him 30 days' notice.

 

If you cannot stay for the next four Sundays, then go at least once more to say good-bye to the children, but let the youth pastor know that it will be your last Sunday.

 

Unless you are walking away from this church altogether, it's best to be as charitable as possible to all involved (yes, even if you don't feel as if you've been treated charitably). If nothing else, you'll be a good role model for your dc (and the other young people in the group).

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Dh and I volunteer in youth ministry at our church. We have been involved for over a year and serve twice a week in this ministry.

 

This new school year has come with many changes for the youth group. Without going into boring detail, my dh and I feel that the changes are not good and we are now about 6 weeks into this year and we are d.o.n.e. I'm not sure my dd will even continue.

 

We had our final straw last Sunday, and dh told the y.p. That we were stepping down. Well y.p.says that we need to give a 30 day notice. They could easily carry on without us, so that isn't really the issue.

 

Dh and I think that 30 days is way over the top. I remember the y.p. wanting us to sign a paper back when we first began but dh and I didn't sign. We didn't feel that 30 days was necessary for our particular position and didn't want to sign.

 

In the past we have tried to talk with y.p. about changes and each time we were told that their hands were tied and someone at our main church (ours is a church plant) was making all the decisions for our ministry. This is someone I've only met briefly one time in the entire time we've been at this church. My point is that we have no power to make any changes that would benefit our particular ministry situation, so there is no need to go and beat a dead horse.

 

 

Do your churches have a similar policy? We really don't feel that we need to give another month but I don't want to burn the bridge completely. I feel like I never know how to handle these type if situations and I always feel like I did not handle it correctly.

 

How do you quit with grace, and how do you do that when you just disagree with how to go forward? At what point do I stand up for what I think is a ridiculous "requirement" and at when do I relent?

 

It is a volunteer ministry, you owe them nothing, certainly not 30 days notice or notice of any kind. Just my .02

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It would be thoughtful to give him 30 days' notice.

 

If you cannot stay for the next four Sundays, then go at least once more to say good-bye to the children, but let the youth pastor know that it will be your last Sunday.

 

Unless you are walking away from this church altogether, it's best to be as charitable as possible to all involved (yes, even if you don't feel as if you've been treated charitably). If nothing else, you'll be a good role model for your dc (and the other young people in the group).

:iagree:

 

I would totally agree with this, though I would say that even if you ARE walking away from this church altogether, you should still be as charitable as possible to all involved, regardless of how you think you have been treated. That is what God calls you to. He doesn’t say “be charitable when you agreeâ€.

 

It is wonderful for you to serve in your church ,and I’m sorry if you are experiencing a conflict with the leaders there. However, regardless of how you feel about their decisions, policies, etc., I think you are called to reflect the fruits of the Spirit as much as possible. It is easy for our sin to get in the way of having love for one another in the Body of Christ – but love is what we are called to. Sometimes (often!) this means denying ourselves, and laying down what we think is right, fair, etc. Christ laid down his life for us. Surely we can lay down our preferences, time, etc. for one another.

 

Honestly, 30 days is nothing. Serve it cheerfully and humbly, and you will bring great glory to God!

 

Here are some beautiful (and inspiring) Scriptures to meditate upon:

 

Colossians 3:12-17

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Proverbs 19:11

A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
1 Peter 4:8-11
8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.
Philippians 2:1-16
1 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

6 Who, being in very nature God,

did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;

7 rather, he made himself nothing

by taking the very nature of a servant,

being made in human likeness.

8 And being found in appearance as a man,

he humbled himself

by becoming obedient to death—

even death on a cross!

9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place

and gave him the name that is above every name,

10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,

in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father.

12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. 14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.†Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky 16 as you hold firmly to the word of life.

 

 

:grouphug: I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Conflicts within the church can be so difficult and painful.

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Dh and I volunteer in youth ministry at our church. We have been involved for over a year and serve twice a week in this ministry.

 

This new school year has come with many changes for the youth group. Without going into boring detail, my dh and I feel that the changes are not good and we are now about 6 weeks into this year and we are d.o.n.e. I'm not sure my dd will even continue.

 

We had our final straw last Sunday, and dh told the y.p. That we were stepping down. Well y.p.says that we need to give a 30 day notice. They could easily carry on without us, so that isn't really the issue.

 

Dh and I think that 30 days is way over the top. I remember the y.p. wanting us to sign a paper back when we first began but dh and I didn't sign. We didn't feel that 30 days was necessary for our particular position and didn't want to sign.

 

In the past we have tried to talk with y.p. about changes and each time we were told that their hands were tied and someone at our main church (ours is a church plant) was making all the decisions for our ministry. This is someone I've only met briefly one time in the entire time we've been at this church. My point is that we have no power to make any changes that would benefit our particular ministry situation, so there is no need to go and beat a dead horse.

 

 

Do your churches have a similar policy? We really don't feel that we need to give another month but I don't want to burn the bridge completely. I feel like I never know how to handle these type if situations and I always feel like I did not handle it correctly.

 

How do you quit with grace, and how do you do that when you just disagree with how to go forward? At what point do I stand up for what I think is a ridiculous "requirement" and at when do I relent?

 

If the ministry can go on without you, what would be the reason for the 30 day notice?

 

I think the way you leave is actually more important to the kingdom than the issue you are leaving over. I do think that some notice is important. Christians are called to love and unity first and unless they are teaching heresy or kids are in danger or something of that nature, then the issue over which you are leaving is less important than the potential relationship damage. Rather than asking, "What do I have to do?" ask "How can I show love and best maintain unity?"

 

For one thing, you don't want to look like you're leaving in a huff. Sudden disappearances generally aren't good and generate speculation. I would try to leave as gracefully as possible. As some have mentioned, definitely say good-bye to the kids and other workers. But if they require 30 days notice, I would consider 1) serving part of it as a compromise or 2) serving longer than 30 days as a way of going 2 miles when someone asks for one. At the very least, I would go two more times: one to say the next time will be your last and the second time to say good-bye.

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