Romeo and Juliet

[brandigirl]

A hasty marriage in our day in age has no place in society for multiple reasons. A marriage usually will lead to a child if proper precautions are not used. It has already been proven that women may be physically ready to bear child at 11-12 years of age but is not mentally prepared for such a strain until well into their 20’s. This strain is usually added to by the fact that society does not usually support such young mothers and usually looks done at them whether are married or not. Also a rushed marriage will usually lead to breakup later. This partly due to the fact that the couple is not truly experienced and has not dated many people. Meaning they are more susceptible to meet someone who they like better later in life. Most young couples may spend their marriage wondering if the grass is greener on the other side.

In our day and age there is truly no need for a hasty marriage reason being that the role of women has exceeded that of a housewife as they have gone to join the work force. That being said the time period in which the story of Romeo and Juliet was set did not agree. During this time period the laws of courtship greatly differed from that of today. For example many girls today will go on a date with a young man un-chaperoned and will most likely proceed to giving them a kiss before the end of the night. In Romeo and Juliet’s case a more elaborate courtship had to take place especially in the higher classes. A holding of hands or kiss of the hand is comparable to that of a kiss on the lips today.

 

 

 

What do you think?

[regentrude]

I am not sure about the point of the essay. You should state in the beginning what you are writing about and should have a clear idea of what it is you want to discuss: differences in courtship between now and then? teenage mothers? hasty marriages? I felt that there is no clear organization and that a variety of topics are touched, but not thoroughly discussed. Many statements are very general claims (most, usually, most likely) that are not backed up by evidence and can, in fact, be easily refuted by counter-examples. you might want to back up your claims.

The essay is ending very abruptly. You could summarize and re-state what your point was and how your examples showed what you meant to prove.

There are quite a few issues with the use of the English language :

 

A hasty marriage in our day in age has no place in society for multiple reasons.

 

The phrase is in our day and age.

 

It has already been proven that women may be physically ready to bear child at 11-12 years of age but is not mentally prepared for such a strain until well into their 20’s.

 

Proven is unfortunate choice of word; it does not have to be "proven" that some 12 y/o can bear children. "Well into their 20s" is an unsubstantiated claim. And what do you consider the mental "strain"? Childbirth, or child raising? Unclear.

 

This strain is usually added to by the fact

 

clumsy passive phrase. What about "is increased by"?

 

This partly due to the fact that the couple is not truly experienced and has not dated many people.

 

Not a complete sentence. "This is partly due..."

Semantics issue. "The couple has dated" is strange- individuals date, a couple usually does not date other people.

 

Meaning they are more susceptible to meet someone who they like better later in life.

 

"meaning" should be omitted

 

Most young couples may spend their marriage wondering if the grass is greener on the other side.

 

Overused cliche, avoid. (And what would the other side be?)

 

In our day and age there is truly no need for a hasty marriage reason being that the role of women has exceeded that of a housewife as they have gone to join the work force.

 

"reason being that" is not good English. Replace with "because"

A role can not exceed - the verb does not fit here.

The logic is not clear: what do hasty marriages have to do with women staying home or working?

 

That being said the time period in which the story of Romeo and Juliet was set did not agree.

 

"That being said" -find a better phrase. What about "however"?

Semantics. A time period can not agree. People can, society can.

 

For example many girls today will go on a date with a young man un-chaperoned and will most likely proceed to giving them a kiss before the end of the night.

 

mix of person: a young man - him, not them

give instead of giving