Need help w/ a "punishment to fit this crime"...

[Sue G in PA]

It has been our policy forever that the dc don't eat or drink or bring food into our living room, unless approved by mom or dad (and that is rare, the only exception being popcorn for movie nights or light snacks like pretzels or crackers). Sometimes we spread out an old blanket and they have a "picnic" in the living room for dinner if we have "finger foods" like pizza. All other foods/drinks are not allowed. They must be eaten at the table or outside now that it is spring/summer. So...why do my children all still bring breakfast cereal and other foods/drinks into the living room when I"m not around or not looking? Well, it's lack of an appropriate consequence b/c I don't know what punishment would fit this crime! I can't take the food away (they must eat!) or ban them from the living room. Please help me brainstorm some appropriate consequences for this before I go nuts! Dd2 just had blueberries all.over.my.sofa (not that it is a nice sofa...it is rather old and disgusting, but I'll never have new furniture until this problem is solved, KWIM?) and there were drink cups on the sofa and a small spill on a pillow! All this while I'm nursing little one this morning in my room. I can't be in 8 places at once (contrary to popular belief). Any ideas?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Get a steam-cleaner with an upholstery attachment - have them shampoo the furniture. They can do the carpet too!

[nancypants]

They have to vacuum the living room every day for a week?

[Jennifer in MI]

You know, I think I would take the food away. I mean, they can live without a snack for a little while - right? Obviously, allow them to eat the next meal with the family. But that snack? Nope! No way! I also like the other ideas!

[Sue G in PA]

They have to vacuum the living room every day for a week?

 

Hmm...I'm liking that one. Ds5 CAN vacuum..not very well, but he can vacuum. Ds7 HATES any kind of work so this would be great for him...a real consequence. Keep 'em coming, I'm :bigear:

[Another Lynn]

I like all the other suggestions, but maybe also consider making them eat on the kitchen floor instead of in chairs for a few days? a week? Maybe they would appreciate the kitchen table more after that?

[~Tara~]

I'd make 'em vacuum too. And miss the next opportunity to 'picnic' in the living room, perhaps?

[Joanne]

It has been our policy forever that the dc don't eat or drink or bring food into our living room, unless approved by mom or dad (and that is rare, the only exception being popcorn for movie nights or light snacks like pretzels or crackers). Sometimes we spread out an old blanket and they have a "picnic" in the living room for dinner if we have "finger foods" like pizza. All other foods/drinks are not allowed. They must be eaten at the table or outside now that it is spring/summer. So...why do my children all still bring breakfast cereal and other foods/drinks into the living room when I"m not around or not looking? Well, it's lack of an appropriate consequence b/c I don't know what punishment would fit this crime!

 

We have the same rules.

 

And some rule violators. :D

 

Here's MY truth; it might not be yours. My kids do it because I'm not on top of policing it. There have even been times when I've been in the den (our LR equivalent), they've brought food in and I have......done nothing. Therefore, I have to be honest and say I've communiated that it's ok. Or at least that it's not consistently consequenced.

 

So, the solution here is to:

 

1) Communicate the rule. I think, too, that I need to be all or nothing. If I allow pretzels, my kids will soon think pop tarts are ok. And chips. And then fruit cups......

 

2) Be committed to removing the child and food to the kitchen immediately.

 

3) Consider removing the food of that occassion. But only after I have been consistent on my side.

 

4) Expect the kids to clean more deeply and often as a related, reasonable and respectful consequence. And to do so before friends, screen time, etc.

[nancypants]

I like all the other suggestions, but maybe also consider making them eat on the kitchen floor instead of in chairs for a few days? a week? Maybe they would appreciate the kitchen table more after that?

 

Mine would find this altogether too much fun to be considered punishment! :lol:

[Tammyla]

:iagree: Set some rules and stick to them all the time. I'd also consider removing the lure in the living room. Why do they want to eat in there? Is it tv or something else. I'd remove the lure or the privilege.

 

It has been our policy forever that the dc don't eat or drink or bring food into our living room, unless approved by mom or dad (and that is rare, the only exception being popcorn for movie nights or light snacks like pretzels or crackers). Sometimes we spread out an old blanket and they have a "picnic" in the living room for dinner if we have "finger foods" like pizza. All other foods/drinks are not allowed. They must be eaten at the table or outside now that it is spring/summer. So...why do my children all still bring breakfast cereal and other foods/drinks into the living room when I"m not around or not looking? Well, it's lack of an appropriate consequence b/c I don't know what punishment would fit this crime! I can't take the food away (they must eat!) or ban them from the living room. Please help me brainstorm some appropriate consequences for this before I go nuts! Dd2 just had blueberries all.over.my.sofa (not that it is a nice sofa...it is rather old and disgusting, but I'll never have new furniture until this problem is solved, KWIM?) and there were drink cups on the sofa and a small spill on a pillow! All this while I'm nursing little one this morning in my room. I can't be in 8 places at once (contrary to popular belief). Any ideas?

[Adrianne]

I agree with everyone else but would like to add that I would have a serious heart to heart (not a guilt trip) with them about respect. They are still expected to respect your rules even though you are out of the room. Something like, when we disrespect our parents we disrespect God. Even though we can't see God, he still expects us to obey him and this means obeying our parents, even when they are not around.

 

With the little ones, I tend to talk more about making God happy. Do you think what you did makes God happy?

 

The kids may not understand or get this right away esp. the young ones but after a while it will sink in. My kids and I have this talk usually every time after they have broken the rules. (unless I am MAD and a time out:D)

[angela in ohio]

If I have specifically told them not to, and they still do it, then it is a disobedience issue, and they have the punishment for disobedience. That's our solution (and it is very effective *smile*,) but...

 

I wanted to address the issue of taking the food away. Skipping one meal is not a big deal. They manage to live from bedtime to breakfast without food. They can live without a meal if they disobey. If that is the consequence you would like to use, I would say go for it.

[Miss Peregrine]

Clean up the mess immediately.

 

Move into the kitchen, which means you are no longer doing whatever you were doing while you were eating.

 

But like others, I have turned a blind eye when I didn't feel like dealing with it, so I know I have exacerbated the problem.

[Kuovonne]

I'd take the food away. Loss of a snack won't cause a kid to starve.

 

I'd also remove access that type of food, explaining that "since you can't

eat that type of food responsibly, you can't have any of it for the rest of the day,"

and then provide only non-messy, boring snacks for the rest of the day, like plain bread.

You might also get your kids to police each other by stating that *everyone*

will be restricted to the boring snack if *anyone* takes food out of the kitchen.

 

I'd also clearly state which foods are allowed out of the kitchen and why and when.

Each time we have food in the living room, I'd restate that it's a special occassion

and an exception to the general rule.

 

If you want to be less restrictive about drinks, you could allow plain water in a

container with a lid outside the kitchen. (I'm thinking sippy cup or sport's bottle.)

That way, it's a boring, but healthy drink, unlikely to spill, but easy to clean if it does.