WWYD, co-op teacher used the "F" word to my daugther

[JulieH]

Whose fingers?? Maybe it was 3 skinny fingers :) And no shorts?? Seriously!! I encouraged people to dress kinda "really cool" this last Fri at co-op due to no air conditioning. I'm ULTRA conservative, but I guess I have a mix of something else... What else would she wear?? Jeans??!! Crazy :(

 

 

I. Kid. You. Not.

 

I'm tempted to start a thread on what happened and my impression of the meeting but I don't see the benefit or that it would end up well so I'll just leave it alone. :lol:

[MrsMe]

We had our first day of co-op yesterday and during break a mom takes the kids outside for some leg stretching. During the course of their play my dd (11) uses the phrase "What the?" in our household it is short "what in the world?" I see now after yesterdays incident that it could be misconstrued for something vulgar. I will be stopping my children from saying it. Anyhow, the teacher who is also my friend took dd aside and asked her if she knew what that meant. Dd does not like confrontation and immediately felt threatened by this woman so she clammed up. The teacher tells her "It means, what the f---, so don't use it around me" My dd of course was embarrassed and horrified that an adult used that kind of language around her. She had no idea that it could mean that.

What would you say to this woman or would you just let it slide?

Not a good start for our first day of co-op.

 

I grew up with "what the heck", but for her to actually say the f word to your child deserves a nice talk with her. Just because that's what it means to her doesn't mean it means that in every household and to use the word....Ugh.

 

My dd may say something not knowing what she said and we'll just tell her not to say that because it can mean something bad. But good grief, I'd never tell her what.

 

Ummm.... I'd be rather ticked.

[gaillardia]

I think I'll crawl back into my cave now.

[annandatje]

We had our first day of co-op yesterday and during break a mom takes the kids outside for some leg stretching. During the course of their play my dd (11) uses the phrase "What the?" in our household it is short "what in the world?" I see now after yesterdays incident that it could be misconstrued for something vulgar. I will be stopping my children from saying it. Anyhow, the teacher who is also my friend took dd aside and asked her if she knew what that meant. Dd does not like confrontation and immediately felt threatened by this woman so she clammed up. The teacher tells her "It means, what the f---, so don't use it around me" My dd of course was embarrassed and horrified that an adult used that kind of language around her. She had no idea that it could mean that.

What would you say to this woman or would you just let it slide?

Not a good start for our first day of co-op.

 

Definitely let it slide.

[Laurie4b]

Really? Strange. When someone says "What the heck?" I, oddly enough, hear them say "What the heck?"

I have no idea how "what the heck?" is rude. .

 

:iagree: I'd say it's in the minds of the hearer and if they hear perversity where none is intended by the speaker, that's on them!

 

Titus 1:15 seems to apply for Christians.

[Laurie4b]

(Gently) It's ok. You had no way of knowing - your kids are still little and you just aren't exposed to this stuff the way some of us are (I have dc who are adults, and I work with a lot of young adults, so I'm more aware of the current vernacular).

 

Sorry--I've got older dc, too and there is still variance. I have heard WTF but I've heard what the heck a lot more. There is no ONE meaning to it. It's in the mind of the hearer.

[classics4us]

Wow, there are so many replies that I don't know where to start. I will add that the teacher/friend pulled me aside in the sanctuary and told me her version of the story (and she did drop the f word in the sanctuary). She said she was telling me this so dd wouldn't get things mixed up about what really happened? Okay fine, dd and her story match up pretty well. I'm not upset that she corrected dd, if my children are offensive by all means correct them and let me know so that we can work on it. I just abhore they way she did it. It's the use of the f word that upsets me. We don't use it. I know my kids have heard the word, we have family members that use it as nouns, verbs, adverbs and sometimes pronouns ;)

We don't live in a bubble, but I dont think it's too much to ask that her teacher refrain from using curse words. I

Anyway, my dh and I are going to talk with her. Hopefully dd will know better to say it in front of folks and the teacher/friend will not say curse words at/to/infront of my children.

I do wonder though if this were a public school teacher what the reaction would be. My sister is a public school teacher and she told me that she could be fired by saying such a thing to a student. Maybe it's just her district :shrug:

I did enjoy reading everyone's perspective and had to chuckle at some and scratch my head at others. ;)

[Joyofsixreboot]

Am I the only smart aleck who would want to ask her WTF she thought she was doing? Ok, I wouldn't but I'd think about it.

[IsabelC]

I think that, as a general rule, if a teacher or whoever feels that a child needs to be spoken to on any issue that might be expected to be contentious, it would be more tactful to approach the child's parent as a first step. Sure, there are many different views on language, and on what the phrase in question means, however that's not really the issue. The point is, any reasonable adult should know that many parents won't wish their kids to be exposed to that word.

Edited September 15, 2011 by Hotdrink

[Joanne]

It's the use of the f word that upsets me. We don't use it. I know my kids have heard the word, we have family members that use it as nouns, verbs, adverbs and sometimes pronouns ;)

We don't live in a bubble, but I dont think it's too much to ask that her teacher refrain from using curse words. ;)

 

:confused: She didn't *use* cuss words. She didn't use profanity spontaneiously in talk, in teaching, in interaction. She *explained*, privately that what your dd said could be taken by others AS using the "F" word.

 

She was counseling your dd to NOT "use" the word. She's on your side.

 

I'm not sure I understand your perspective on this at all.

 

I am a teacher; I refrain from using cuss words. However, I "had" to explain to a (high school) class recently why using "whipped" as an adjective for a boy in a relationship was something to consider avoiding. They didn't know the "whole" saying, or why it was used, even though they used it in the context that the whole phrase would be used. I wasn't *using* the phrase, I was giving information to the kids.

[Firefly]

Am I the only smart aleck who would want to ask her WTF she thought she was doing? Ok, I wouldn't but I'd think about it.

 

:lol: LOL!

[classics4us]

:confused: She didn't *use* cuss words. She didn't use profanity spontaneiously in talk, in teaching, in interaction. She *explained*, privately that what your dd said could be taken by others AS using the "F" word.

 

She was counseling your dd to NOT "use" the word. She's on your side.

 

I'm not sure I understand your perspective on this at all.

 

I am a teacher; I refrain from using cuss words. However, I "had" to explain to a (high school) class recently why using "whipped" as an adjective for a boy in a relationship was something to consider avoiding. They didn't know the "whole" saying, or why it was used, even though they used it in the context that the whole phrase would be used. I wasn't *using* the phrase, I was giving information to the kids.

 

It's okay that you don't understand my perspective. I do not feel I need to defend something that I feel is a parental issue.

On a side note the teacher never said "this could be taken by others AS the f word". She said it IS using the f word. It's a moot point to me anyway, she used a curse word. I don't think it was appropriate.

[Joanne]

It's okay that you don't understand my perspective. I do not feel I need to defend something that I feel is a parental issue. On a side note the teacher never said "this could be taken by others AS the f word". She said it IS using the f word. It's a moot point to me anyway, she used a curse word. I don't think it was appropriate.

 

You don't have to "defend" but you DID post on a forum. By definition and nature, that invites discussion.

 

I disagree that she *used* a cuss word. She SAID one, but didn't use one.

[Jean in Newcastle]

It's okay that you don't understand my perspective. I do not feel I need to defend something that I feel is a parental issue.

On a side note the teacher never said "this could be taken by others AS the f word". She said it IS using the f word. It's a moot point to me anyway, she used a curse word. I don't think it was appropriate.

 

Sooooo, was the WWYD part of your title for this thread really asking us for our opinions?

[*Lulu*]

Just wanted to say that my daughters think the F word is "fart". :D

 

Oh.My.Stars. That is so our family!!! :tongue_smilie:

[annandatje]

Wow, there are so many replies that I don't know where to start. I will add that the teacher/friend pulled me aside in the sanctuary and told me her version of the story (and she did drop the f word in the sanctuary). She said she was telling me this so dd wouldn't get things mixed up about what really happened? Okay fine, dd and her story match up pretty well. I'm not upset that she corrected dd, if my children are offensive by all means correct them and let me know so that we can work on it. I just abhore they way she did it. It's the use of the f word that upsets me. We don't use it. I know my kids have heard the word, we have family members that use it as nouns, verbs, adverbs and sometimes pronouns ;)

We don't live in a bubble, but I dont think it's too much to ask that her teacher refrain from using curse words. I

Anyway, my dh and I are going to talk with her. Hopefully dd will know better to say it in front of folks and the teacher/friend will not say curse words at/to/infront of my children.

I do wonder though if this were a public school teacher what the reaction would be. My sister is a public school teacher and she told me that she could be fired by saying such a thing to a student. Maybe it's just her district :shrug:

I did enjoy reading everyone's perspective and had to chuckle at some and scratch my head at others. ;)

 

Maybe it is my self-diagnosed Asperger's at work, but how can you convey to someone the prevailing cultural interpretation of word most likely to follow "what the ... " without actually saying the word? Write it on a piece of paper? A child will not neccesarily know what the phrase "the f word" means.

[FloridaLisa]

I think the teacher's response was inappropriate. She could simply have said that the phrase actually implies a cuss word and that it's not appropriate to use in the classroom. She should then have left it up to a parent to fill in the blank. I would talk to a friend or fellow co-op teacher that responded to my 11-yo-dd such as your friend did. Sorry that happened. It certainly could have been handled more diplomatically.

 

isa

[JulieH]

Am I the only smart aleck who would want to ask her WTF she thought she was doing? Ok, I wouldn't but I'd think about it.

 

No, I'd want to ask her that too. LOL

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Really? If the child had said the actual F word, would you feel the same? If my kid was using foul language, I would expect the teacher to correct him/her regardless of whether the word was said in class or at play.

 

Lack of supervision and accountability in public school settings, including the playground, is one reason my kids aren't in school. I would expect better from a homeschool co-op. Obviously some people see "what the..." as a problem and some don't, but I would hope those I have entrusted with the physical and educational care of my children would also concern themselves with my kids' attitudes and propriety.

 

But she didn't say the F word. She didn't break any rules. She didn't need to be corrected for something she didn't do.

This has nothing to with accountability or supervision - an adult imposed her own views (outside the classroom mind you) on a child for no reason, and then capped it off with an F-bomb.

[annandatje]

Yes, I would let it slide if it were a public teacher, private teacher, home teacher, student teacher, whomever.

 

However, I certainly would not insist that my kid cease using the phrase.

[Joanne]

But she didn't say the F word. She didn't break any rules. She didn't need to be corrected for something she didn't do.

This has nothing to with accountability or supervision - an adult imposed her own views (outside the classroom mind you) on a child for no reason, and then capped it off with an F-bomb.

 

Really? "Capped it off with the F bomb" is a bit much. It's a harsh way to frame the intent of the teacher.

[Alte Veste Academy]

But she didn't say the F word. She didn't break any rules. She didn't need to be corrected for something she didn't do.

This has nothing to with accountability or supervision - an adult imposed her own views (outside the classroom mind you) on a child for no reason, and then capped it off with an F-bomb.

 

I understand that she didn't say the word. That's why I asked if you would feel the same way if she had. She wasn't being corrected for something she didn't do. She was being corrected for saying, "What the..." which was obviously deeply offensive to the teacher. As evidenced by myriad opinions in this thread, the meaning is not ambiguous to a great many people.

 

The bottom line is that this woman felt like the child might as well have said it, that she implied it. So, of course she would address it. You have to get into her head a little, to understand my reasoning for defending her, I think.

 

The bottom line for me is that if my child says something offensive to or about someone--even if it is through the eyes of the offended person alone--I would want that teacher to address it. Obviously there is disagreement about whether the phrase is offensive. However, for me that is precisely the larger point that's being missed. I want my kids to understand that different people have different standards and I absolutely want them to respect that. I don't know. I feel like so many people are "my way or the highway" angry over this. I want my kids to respect and appreciate that words carry meaning above and beyond what we intend sometimes. Life isn't only about what they think is appropriate, their relatively narrow frame of reference as children. It's about acting in a way that respects the standards of others as well, though they may be different from our own.

Edited September 16, 2011 by Alte Veste Academy

[RamonaQ]

While I don't think the teacher should have actually said "f---" to your child, I think your child needs to know that for some people, the next word after "what the-" is "f---."

 

The teacher should have told you, not your child.

 

:iagree:

[lula]

I wouldn't have a problem with my child hearing the f-word in the context of an explanation.

 

That being said, my situation is apparently different than most on this board. Frankly, my children hear the f-word from several family members and close friends quite frequently and I have no intention of cutting any of them out of their lives. (honestly, I make it an issue to edit topics of conversation around my children but most often not the language that others use while in the privacy of our home. The one thing not tolerated is name calling or deliberately offensive language including words that are inherently demeaning to a human or meant to attack someone.)

 

I will say though that my children don't use the f-word despite all of this exposure. I am quite certain if they decide to start using it, it will be at their choosing. Hearing the words do not imply license to use the words. When they are adults they will have to make their own language decisions. Explanations are given a big thumbs up at our house and as long as they are accurate explanations I am not bothered if a teacher or close friend does the explaining. I would have a problem with the f-word being used "at" my child.

 

What I don't like is how the teacher approached your child. She could have asked what your daughter meant by the phrase and not taken such an extreme tone. I think it's fine to have profanity/vulgar language regulated in public places or in a classroom. If she explained that this phrase often is used for a less than savory expression and that she would like your daughter to refrain from using it that would seem perfectly fine. However, she seemed to imply that your daughter was somehow guilty of swearing without first ascertaining if your daughter meant to say F--k or simply something else. I think the teacher should have handled this in a more reasonable, less personal, manner. It may have been a great time to talk about appropriate speech in public, slang, etc. If it's unacceptable in the classroom your daughter should be told why, a teacher seems like a reasonable person to do the telling.

Edited September 16, 2011 by lula

[classics4us]

I would say she did. When someone doesn't finish the phrase, "what the . . " they are implying that they know a swear word goes there and they aren't saying it because they know it's a bad word.

 

I'm confused as to how the OP's family took "What in the world" to "what the"? To me, they are two totally different phrases. If you want "what the . . " to stand for "What in the world?", then you should just say, "What in the world?"

 

I can see how the teacher took her phrase as swearing and since she was student in her class, it was appropriate to correct her.

 

The phrase "what in the world" went to "what the world" to "what the"

In our house Grammarland has a little place in it called the Grammarslums :D

[Imprimis]

I understand that she didn't say the word. That's why I asked if you would feel the same way if she had. She wasn't being corrected for something she didn't do. She was being corrected for saying, "What the..." which was obviously deeply offensive to the teacher. As evidenced by myriad opinions in this thread, the meaning is not ambiguous to a great many people.

 

The bottom line is that this woman felt like the child might as well have said it, that she implied it. So, of course she would address it. You have to get into her head a little, to understand my reasoning for defending her, I think.

 

 

So, a grown woman is deeply offended by an 11 yo child's use of the phrase "what the," and that makes it ok for her to use a blatantly vulgar word in front of the child to "correct" her? Talk about being offensive!

[greenvneck]

Really? "What the...?" I guess I'm in the minority, but I don't see any problem whatsoever with kids using that phrase. But seriously, if I heard an 11yo using the phrase I would assume s/he meant "What the heck?" There are plenty of G- and PG-rated movies that use the phrase, without finishing it, that kids are familiar with the context.

 

Having said that, I am astonished that anyone would be shocked by an 11yo saying something like this. Maybe I misunderstood? I wouldn't blink twice if a 4yo said it.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

I understand that she didn't say the word. That's why I asked if you would feel the same way if she had. She wasn't being corrected for something she didn't do. She was being corrected for saying, "What the..." which was obviously deeply offensive to the teacher. As evidenced by myriad opinions in this thread, the meaning is not ambiguous to a great many people.

 

It wasn't in the teacher's class, and unless there is a rule against saying something as ambiguous as "What the..." the "teacher" needs to mind her own business.

 

The bottom line is that this woman felt like the child might as well have said it, that she implied it. So, of course she would address it. You have to get into her head a little, to understand my reasoning for defending her, I think.

 

I assume that a rational, thinking adult is capable of knowing that "What the..." can end with other words.

 

The bottom line for me is that if my child says something offensive to or about someone--even if it is through the eyes of the offended person alone--I would want that teacher to address it. Obviously there is disagreement about whether the phrase is offensive. However, for me that is precisely the larger point that's being missed. I want my kids to understand that different people have different standards and I absolutely want them to respect that. I don't know. I feel like so many people are "my way or the highway" angry over this. I want my kids to respect and appreciate that words carry meaning above and beyond what we intend sometimes. Life isn't only about what they think is appropriate, their relatively narrow frame of reference as children. It's about acting in a way that respects the standards of others as well, though they may be different from our own.

 

Why are this person's standards more important than that of the OP's family?

If she had simply said "hey, that can be taken wrong", then I would be more forgiving. As described, the teacher comes across as a bit of a busy body.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

So, a grown woman is deeply offended by an 11 yo child's use of the phrase "what the," and that makes it ok for her to use a blatantly vulgar word in front of the child to "correct" her? Talk about being offensive!

:iagree:

 

Exactly. There is a major disconnect here that I am simply not understanding.

[nd293]

As awkward as it may be, I think the co-op teacher may have saved your child from some future embarrassment; in short, I think she did your dd a favor. "What the..." really does mean WTF. Your child needed to know.

 

Be thankful your dd didn't say it in church or somewhere else.:001_smile:

 

:iagree: I would actually apologise to the other Mom for my oversight in not thinking through the full implications of the phrase, rather than object to what she did. It sounds as though she did it fairly gracefully, taking your dd aside first.

[SueinNC]

I'm aghast at the responders who thought the teacher was appropriate. I would never, NEVER, think, "What the ?" would end with the F word. Unfortunately, it leaves the unsaid word to the imagination.

 

While this teacher did not use the F word "at" your dd, she used the F word "to" your dd. This is mere semantics; it does not make it okay in the second situation.

 

I would be furious for so many reasons. It is not up to the teacher to "explain" to your dd what she "said" when dd did not say it. I would absolutely be discussing this with leadership, and if for any reason they found this to be somehow appropriate, that would be my indication that this co-op was terribly wrong for my family.

 

I'm no prude. Perhaps I'm just an older generation. I hear this word all the time, but people who use this word in front of others' children are incredibly selfish, rude and thoughtless, no matter what the context. Don't inflict your profanity on my kids. Say it in front of your own, but leave mine alone.

 

:confused::confused::confused:

:

 

:iagree:

 

I do not automatically think the f word either. I use "what the.." as short for What in the world? as in a puzzling or confusing way, not as profanity. I would never assume someone meant it as WTF. And it would bother me if someone assumed that is how I meant it. And I would be even more bothered if someone accused my child of implying the f word too and going as far as using profanity in front of my child just to "prove" their point.

[Imprimis]

 

 

 

I assume that a rational, thinking adult is capable of knowing that "What the..." can end with other words.

 

 

 

Why are this person's standards more important than that of the OP's family?

If she had simply said "hey, that can be taken wrong", then I would be more forgiving. As described, the teacher comes across as a bit of a busy body.

 

Yep. And, I wouldn't have had any problem with the teacher advising the child to not use the phrase while in co-op, but that's where it should have ended, imo.

[Alte Veste Academy]

:iagree:

 

Exactly. There is a major disconnect here that I am simply not understanding.

 

:lol: Likewise.

 

I don't think we'll come to an agreement, but that's OK. As I said, I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion and to live life according to their own standards. :)

[ChocolateReignRemix]

:lol: Likewise.

 

I don't think we'll come to an agreement, but that's OK. As I said, I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion and to live life according to their own standards. :)

 

Again, a disconnect. This person doesn't let others live by their own standards.

[Alte Veste Academy]

Why are this person's standards more important than that of the OP's family?

 

On this issue, I would like to say that I did not say that the teacher's standards were more important. I said that I think we all ought to understand that other people can have different standards and that we ought to respect them. As a parallel situation, I would hope that atheists would refrain from using G**d*** in the company of their Christian friends. The standards of the Christian friends aren't more important, simply worthy of respect. My point was that it's not always about what the speaker finds offensive.

[Alte Veste Academy]

Again, a disconnect. This person doesn't let others live by their own standards.

 

:confused: This person was in a position of authority over the OP's dd. Teacher sets the standard at school (yes, whether in class or at play). Hey, we're homeschoolers. If we don't like to have the standards of others imposed upon us, we can stay at home. :tongue_smilie:

[SonshineLearner]

What would you say if a public school teacher had done the same thing? I would NOT be happy.

[Alte Veste Academy]

So, a grown woman is deeply offended by an 11 yo child's use of the phrase "what the," and that makes it ok for her to use a blatantly vulgar word in front of the child to "correct" her? Talk about being offensive!

 

For the record, I did state early on that I would not have been happy for the teacher to use the word with my child (and none of my dc have heard it before so it would really have me in fits). The situation is bigger than that for me though.

[Element]

I think she did your dd a favor. When someone says "What the..." the F word is usually implied. I understand that your dd didn't know that and didn't intend to say that, but I think most people fill it in that way.

 

Yikes! I did not know this! My son says "What the..." all the time. I will definitely have a talk with him tomorrow and request that he stop saying that phrase. I always say, "What the heck?" so I assume he just got it from me. I had no idea that everyone thought the F word was implied.

 

I would still be bothered if someone said that word to one of my kids though. Luckily, your daughter talked to you about it. That's the most important thing.

[funschooler5]

So, a grown woman is deeply offended by an 11 yo child's use of the phrase "what the," and that makes it ok for her to use a blatantly vulgar word in front of the child to "correct" her? Talk about being offensive!

 

:iagree:

 

I'm just amazed that this teacher decided to take what was most likely a completely innocent comment and turn it into a lesson about expletives. It was completely unnecessary, and kind of moronic in my opinion. Public school teachers have been fired for less. I would expect a homeschool co-op teacher to realize that there are a lot of people out there who homeschool to avoid exposure to that kind of language (not exclusively of course, but to avoid that whole "growing up too fast" thing). Heck, we aren't strict about language at my house, but we have discussions periodically about what not to say at homeschool events ("what the...." isn't even on our radar). Seems like any rational adult would know that you don't say the "f" word to a kid, whether they were just giving her the definition or not.

[SonshineLearner]

So, a grown woman is deeply offended by an 11 yo child's use of the phrase "what the," and that makes it ok for her to use a blatantly vulgar word in front of the child to "correct" her? Talk about being offensive!

 

No doubt!!! She's offended... and with this decision... I'd be offended!!!

[AngelBee]

:confused: She didn't *use* cuss words. She didn't use profanity spontaneiously in talk, in teaching, in interaction. She *explained*, privately that what your dd said could be taken by others AS using the "F" word.

 

She was counseling your dd to NOT "use" the word. She's on your side.

 

I'm not sure I understand your perspective on this at all.

 

I am a teacher; I refrain from using cuss words. However, I "had" to explain to a (high school) class recently why using "whipped" as an adjective for a boy in a relationship was something to consider avoiding. They didn't know the "whole" saying, or why it was used, even though they used it in the context that the whole phrase would be used. I wasn't *using* the phrase, I was giving information to the kids.

 

:iagree: and shocked that you and dh are choosing to talk to her after she already approached you to explain.

[AngelBee]

Maybe it is my self-diagnosed Asperger's at work, but how can you convey to someone the prevailing cultural interpretation of word most likely to follow "what the ... " without actually saying the word? Write it on a piece of paper? A child will not neccesarily know what the phrase "the f word" means.

 

No Asperger's here and :iagree: 100%

 

Might be my ADHD though. ;)

[classics4us]

You don't have to "defend" but you DID post on a forum. By definition and nature, that invites discussion.

 

I disagree that she *used* a cuss word. She SAID one, but didn't use one.

 

 

Aha, semantics. Here is Merriam Websters definition of Used

1 archaic : accustom, habituate

2 to put into action or service : avail oneself of : employ

 

3 to consume or take (as liquor or drugs) regularly

 

4 to carry out a purpose or action by means of : utilize; also : manipulate 2b <used him selfishly>

#4. I believe the teacher used the f word to carry out a purpose, that purpose being to correct my child.

I am of the belief that the teacher could have corrected her without using the f word.

[AngelBee]

:confused: This person was in a position of authority over the OP's dd. Teacher sets the standard at school (yes, whether in class or at play). Hey, we're homeschoolers. If we don't like to have the standards of others imposed upon us, we can stay at home. :tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree:

[Susanah]

I disagree with a lot of the posts here for this reason - your friend did not have to use the term outright to educate your daughter about the expression. She should have given your daughter the benefit of the doubt, and assumed she didn't understand the connotation of her words. If your daughter was in fact being vulgar, then perhaps the shock value would have had a purpose. Had the woman felt that for your daughter's sake she needed to be more informed, the adult could have referred to the word without saying it outright. All she has done in this case is alienated your daughter unnecessarily. I think the woman should be told in polite terms that you would have preferred her be a bit more gracious.

 

People today throw vulgarity around much too casually. I hear adults saying it to children in common speech and it should really give us pause. It is a term that refers to an abusive attitude toward women and shouldn't be taken lightly. My two cents.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

:confused: This person was in a position of authority over the OP's dd. Teacher sets the standard at school (yes, whether in class or at play). Hey, we're homeschoolers. If we don't like to have the standards of others imposed upon us, we can stay at home. :tongue_smilie:

 

Nope. She is supposed to enforce the standards of the co-op, not her own, especially outside of her classroom.

 

It is ludicrous that this person was so horribly offended by an ambiguous phrase that she needed to drop the f-bomb on the OP's daughter.

[Imprimis]

:confused: This person was in a position of authority over the OP's dd. Teacher sets the standard at school (yes, whether in class or at play). Hey, we're homeschoolers. If we don't like to have the standards of others imposed upon us, we can stay at home. :tongue_smilie:

 

Kristina, I would have no problem with a co-op teacher asking my child to refrain from using a certain phrase while attending class (and I did not see where the op had an issue with that, either). This obviously went beyond that.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

:iagree:

 

I'm just amazed that this teacher decided to take what was most likely a completely innocent comment and turn it into a lesson about expletives. It was completely unnecessary, and kind of moronic in my opinion. Public school teachers have been fired for less. I would expect a homeschool co-op teacher to realize that there are a lot of people out there who homeschool to avoid exposure to that kind of language (not exclusively of course, but to avoid that whole "growing up too fast" thing). Heck, we aren't strict about language at my house, but we have discussions periodically about what not to say at homeschool events ("what the...." isn't even on our radar). Seems like any rational adult would know that you don't say the "f" word to a kid, whether they were just giving her the definition or not.

 

:iagree:

 

I can honestly say I am stunned that some are so offended by "What the...?" that they support someone using outright vulgarities with a child.

[classics4us]

:iagree: and shocked that you and dh are choosing to talk to her after she already approached you to explain.

She approached me during our assembly time. I was busy passing out papers and collecting money, it was basically a "hey I wanted to let you know..." I had no time to really chat with her about it. Why is it shocking that dds father (my dh) wants to talk to with her? He has a right to talk to anyone that is teaching his child let alone someone who opts to say/use the f word no matter how it was meant no? Quite frankly I am shocked that you are shocked ;)