How do I answer: "Are they in school? What grade?"

[SKL]

DD1 is in KG at a charter school. Simple.

 

DD2 is in pre-K (at a daycare) and I'm homeschooling her for KG, but she's really learning at the 1st grade level. My hope is that she'll be in 1st with her sister next year. But there is no official document anywhere showing her in KG (homeschoolers don't have to file in our state until the child is 6). It's just me saying (and feeling) that she's in KG.

 

Am I lying if I tell people who ask, "they are both in KG"?

 

Nobody wants our whole life story, right?

[Mandy in TN]

When people ask what grade your child is in, they usually just want to know how old they are. I always answer with what grade ds would be in based on his DOB and the local public school cut off date. Only in a few situations (if it is someone with whom I have a personal relationship or a person specifically asking about homeschool accelerated children) do I go any further.

 

HTH-

Mandy

[SorrelZG]

To be honest, I just answer based on the age/corresponding PS grade, no more or less. I'm even getting this way with homeschooling friends. Rarely does it seem that the response to any more than that is ever positive. At least this way it stays neutral and you're right .. they're not asking for your life story. If they start asking the child questions they can be positively impressed with the child rather than negatively with the parent (that seems to be the natural inclination and recognizing that, I'm all for not going there).

[SKL]

Good points. Just feels a little funny since dd2 is bigger and more knowledgeable than dd1. In our case it can tend to raise more questions. But you're right - they probably don't really care one way or the other.

[Crimson Wife]

Am I lying if I tell people who ask, "they are both in KG"?

 

Yes, because your younger daughter isn't in K. She's an advanced pre-K student.

 

I've got a 4th grader who is doing above grade-level work in nearly all subjects, but that doesn't make her a middle school student. She's just an advanced 4th grader.

[SKL]

Yes, because your younger daughter isn't in K. She's an advanced pre-K student.

 

 

I should clarify that to date, I haven't actually told anyone my kid is in KG. Just thought it would make life simpler if I could honestly say that - but I guess based on feedback, it would not be honest.

[MamaMamaMama!!]

We answer based on their sunday school class. So when someone asks my kids what grade they are in I say "They mean what SS class your in".. And they answer appropriately. :) If I didnt have kiddos in SS I would answer based on the grade they are supposed to be in or are currently working on.. So my 6 yo would be in PS K this year but is doing 2nd grade work so I call him 1st grade. LOL. Clear as mud?

[SnegurochkaL]

Hi, my son who is 4.5 will turn 5 later this year. Officially, he is a pre-Kner, but will be working on his 1st grade math and few other 1 st grade curriculum. So when I was asked at the library( summer reading program) what grade he would be going to, I answered K. They need this kind of information for statistics.

[Jenny in Florida]

"Well, we're homeschooling, but they're preschool and kindergarten ages."

 

It used to drive my daughter up a wall if I tried the whole just telling people her grade according to her age thing. She was adamant that it was lying to tell people she was in fourth grade when all of her work was three or more grades higher. So, we ended up just saying we homeschool and then saying her grade by age (according to public school guidelines). But it had to be phrased just right or she got irritable.

 

With my son, it's not as big a deal. He's not quite as far ahead of himself, and he also cares less. So, with him, we often split the difference and tell people we homeschool, but he's in x grade "more or less."

[Jenny in Florida]

Yes, because your younger daughter isn't in K. She's an advanced pre-K student.

 

I've got a 4th grader who is doing above grade-level work in nearly all subjects, but that doesn't make her a middle school student. She's just an advanced 4th grader.

 

That makes life easy, of course. But it does kind of depend on your long-term plan. My daughter always intended to graduate early. If we'd used your system, she wouldn't have gotten past 6th or 7th grade before she left for college.

 

My son's situation is weird, too. He's starting high school a year early and intends to finish in three years. So, we're telling people he's in ninth grade, because that makes life easier. But, if follows through on his plan, he'd be graduating at an age when most kids are finishing 10th.

 

I do recognize I have odd children, though.

[AHASRADA]

I should clarify that to date, I haven't actually told anyone my kid is in KG. Just thought it would make life simpler if I could honestly say that - but I guess based on feedback, it would not be honest.

 

I don't think it's even a matter of "honest" or "dishonest", it's what will answer the question in such a way as to avoid further probing by the questioner. If you say they are both in K, the puzzled stranger will inevitably ask if they are twins, when you answer no, you will be asked how they can possibly both be in K then, and you are thus forced to give your life story, which neither of you want to do ;).

 

In other situations, it may often be advantageous to fib/stretch the truth a bit to avoid getting into details you would rather avoid sharing with the general public. :glare:

[boscopup]

If you have officially skipped a grade (ie, you're reporting a higher grade to the state and plan to graduate early), then I'd give what grade they are by that. If you're going to keep them homeschooling through the year that they would be in 12th grade by age in public school, just give the grade by age in public school.

 

We're doing the latter. I have no intention to have my son graduate early at this point, though if we decided later to do so, we could "skip" him at that point (ie, report a higher grade level to the state). So when someone asks, I say he's in 2nd grade. It doesn't matter that the only thing he's doing at second grade level is writing. Most people asking are just wondering what age the child is, and frankly, it'd be confusing to say "Well, he's 4th grade in math, 5th grade in reading, 3rd grade in grammar and science..." No one cares about that stuff. They just want to know that he's 7. :tongue_smilie:

 

Now if the situation came up that someone was asking grade level for purposes of a class or something, I might say "He's working at X grade level in that subject."

[Embassy]

We do grade=age as well.

[Greenmama2]

I don't think it's even a matter of "honest" or "dishonest", it's what will answer the question in such a way as to avoid further probing by the questioner. If you say they are both in K, the puzzled stranger will inevitably ask if they are twins, when you answer no, you will be asked how they can possibly both be in K then, and you are thus forced to give your life story, which neither of you want to do ;).

 

In other situations, it may often be advantageous to fib/stretch the truth a bit to avoid getting into details you would rather avoid sharing with the general public. :glare:

 

 

Yes, indeed. I am finding myself intensely curious as to how you could have two children so close in age. I gather from your other thread that your dd2 is only a few days under the cut-off. So if a complete stranger on a forum wants to know then yes, telling people you encounter irl they are both in K is a recipe for inviting further questioning.

[LetsDoMath]

"Well, we're homeschooling, but they're preschool and kindergarten ages."

 

It used to drive my daughter up a wall if I tried the whole just telling people her grade according to her age thing. She was adamant that it was lying to tell people she was in fourth grade when all of her work was three or more grades higher. So, we ended up just saying we homeschool and then saying her grade by age (according to public school guidelines). But it had to be phrased just right or she got irritable.

 

 

I do recognize I have odd children, though.

 

 

My daughter has a similar need for accuracy! Of course, so do I...

 

Why is it that we can't just ask kids how old they are, or can't process the answer unless we also know the school grade? Even when someone asks me, "how old were you when..." questions, I first think, "well, I was in __ grade, so I was ...<calculating>... # years old."

 

 

Yeah, I think we are all a bit odd. :lol:

[FairProspects]

I really wish we could just answer this question by age. I mean, it would be so much simpler to just say ds is 7 and end the conversation. We have grade level issues here as well because ds is immature and has some coordination difficulties so he was red-shirted, but then everyone doubts he is in 1st grade because he is so tall, knows too much, etc. Which is true, because by cut-off age he could be in 2nd grade. I like co-op rules which just go by age and leave it at that.

[chepyl]

DS would be Kindergarten in PS. We started school a year early and he Is now in first grade if someone asks. He goes to the first grade room at church. I did put him in the K group at one VBS this summer so he could be with his cousin. His social and emotional skills are more in line with first grade. He only missed the cut off by a few days. He does work at a second grade level in every subject. I figure we are meeting in the middle. He turns 6 this month. It is not dishonest. He has completed K, he would not be happy if he was labeled that for anything.

[Dmmetler]

My DD also doesn't want me to say that she's 1st grade age-because, darn it, she's in 2nd grade based on number of years of school (due to a grade skip in K when she was in ps) and in 3rd-9th grade curriculum depending on subject area. So we go with "she's 6" a lot :), and try not to state a grade.

 

She's been pushing to be called "3rd grade" lately because "I'm not doing ANYTHING that's 2nd grade". And she says that when she finishes her math book, she's going to be 4th grade.

 

Mostly, I just stick with "she'll be 7 in November".

[Mandy in TN]

I explained to Doodle that most people- like old ladies in the mall- when they ask what grade you are in just want to know how old you are. They just associate a grade with an age. For the most part, they are not interested in the grade level of the curriculum products you are using. So, if a person you don't know and are unlikely to see again asks what grade you are in, just tell them the grade appropriate to your age and keep moving. I have no desire to share information about my son's education with strangers. In addition to the fact that I really don't think they want to know or care, for me it is a privacy issue. They don't need to know any more information about our life than vaguely how old he is.

 

If a stranger asks for your phone number or what subdivision you live in or for your child's full name, it doesn't mean that you have to tell them.

Mandy

[catz]

I just say the grade associated with the age. Most of the time it's just a question to make conversation.

 

f:iagree: It quickly becomes apparent if someone actually wants to talk curriculum. My kids don't do anything grade level, but if someone ask I still say "they would be in 2nd and 5th grades in school" and leave it at that.

[catz]

That makes life easy, of course. But it does kind of depend on your long-term plan. My daughter always intended to graduate early. If we'd used your system, she wouldn't have gotten past 6th or 7th grade before she left for college.

 

My son's situation is weird, too. He's starting high school a year early and intends to finish in three years. So, we're telling people he's in ninth grade, because that makes life easier. But, if follows through on his plan, he'd be graduating at an age when most kids are finishing 10th.

 

I do recognize I have odd children, though.

 

I can definitely see this situation too, but I intend on not making this decision until the last possible minute. My kids are quite accelerated and this could easily happen. But they are not super socially mature, don't have amazing focus or work ethics. So if we decide to keep them at grade level to catch up in other ways we will, and we'll decide closer to that time.

 

I actually had the option to have my 5th grader do high school science out of the house this year, but I think I'm going to hold off and let him self explore for one more year. If he were a kid begging for more/higher level science, I might reconsider. He's also a kid who really loves his extra activities and gains quite a bit from those.

 

Anyway - I can see advantages from just using their grade level until you really need to change it for future planning.

[Satori]

We get this question all the time. I just say that she's in first grade, as that's what grade she's officially supposed to be in, as well as the grade where she attends OPTIONS. She works several grades above that in many subjects, so on our blog it's more appropriate to say second grade.

 

If the people are genuinely interested, seem homeschool-friendly, and ask more questions, I might divulge that she works several grades higher in LA and a few other subjects. Homeschooling lets us work at our own pace.

 

I was just hanging out with a 5th grade PS teacher, and she said my daughter's writing is on par or even better than her students.

[SKL]

I am finding myself intensely curious as to how you could have two children so close in age.

 

My kids were adopted, and they have different birth parents. They are 3 months apart in age.

 

Up until this year, they have always been in the same class. I accelerated dd1 into KG (her birthday is 10 days after the standard cutoff) at the recommendation of the school. DD2 just misses the extended cutoff (some schools will allow kids with late birthdays to start early, but not if they are born after 12/31).

 

It has always been easy to just say "they are in __." I do get the "are they twins" question a LOT, so I'm used to it. I just say "no." (I also get the "are they sisters" question :glare: to which I simply say "yes.") Then they assume that dd2 is a year older than dd1, LOL. So you can see how it feels odd to say my big kid is in pre-K while my little kid is in KG.

[Embassy]

My kids were adopted, and they have different birth parents. They are 3 months apart in age.

 

If they are 3 months apart and the younger one is more advanced I would probably call them the same grade.

[Jumping In Puddles]

This thread is making me realize that I should not tell my children what grade they are working or how many levels above (or below) their age peers. They are where they need to be, whether behind or ahead. I love curriculum that doesn't state a grade, like RSD or WWS1. If my 3rd grade ds was in WWS1, I certainly won't tell him "sweetie... time for your 5th grade writing!!". :tongue_smilie:

 

Really, we would not expect a ps kid to say "well, I'm in 4th grade but I am only reading on a 2nd grade level so I get extra help... oh but I love science and I'm working at home on a 6th grade curriculum after school" :001_huh::001_huh: You just expect the kid to say. "4th grade". :lol:

[Dmmetler]

This thread is making me realize that I should not tell my children what grade they are working or how many levels above (or below) their age peers. They are where they need to be, whether behind or ahead. I love curriculum that doesn't state a grade, like RSD or WWS1. If my 3rd grade ds was in WWS1, I certainly won't tell him "sweetie... time for your 5th grade writing!!". :tongue_smilie:

 

Really, we would not expect a ps kid to say "well, I'm in 4th grade but I am only reading on a 2nd grade level so I get extra help... oh but I love science and I'm working at home on a 6th grade curriculum after school" :001_huh::001_huh: You just expect the kid to say. "4th grade". :lol:

 

Actually, that's part of the problem. Many of the schools in our area do these online computer program things where kids get individualized homework at their supposed working level, and DD has a couple of friends who are very vocal about "I'm doing 3RD GRADE math! Well, I'm doing 4TH GRADE reading!!!". (Numbers that I believe to be VERY inaccurate, based on what the kids are actually doing, but I digress). Which, in turn, led DD to actually pay attention to those numbers on the books, the AR labels at the library, and the little tag lines on Teacher file box worksheets, and realize that she, too, is above grade level.

[Jenny in Florida]

f:iagree: It quickly becomes apparent if someone actually wants to talk curriculum. My kids don't do anything grade level, but if someone ask I still say "they would be in 2nd and 5th grades in school" and leave it at that.

 

I tried that with my daughter, but her attitude was that she would not likely be in her grade-by-age in school. She was convinced that she would have been skipped at least one grade.

[Jenny in Florida]

If he were a kid begging for more/higher level science, I might reconsider. He's also a kid who really loves his extra activities and gains quite a bit from those.

 

I have one of each, actually. My daughter was always very focused and driven, academically. She knew from early on that she wanted to graduate early and was asking me about college prep by the time she was eight.

 

My son, on the other hand, is just as bright and capable, but isn't terribly into school work. He does well and works ahead by a grade or two, consistently, but is also very involved in extracurriculars and in the community. He has long-term friendships that he values a lot and is not in as much of a hurry to graduate and move on to college.

 

Anyway - I can see advantages from just using their grade level until you really need to change it for future planning.

 

And this is part of it for us, too. Both of mine started doing classes through Florida Virtual School when they were eight or nine. In order to get them access to the classes we wanted, I had to "claim" a grade level that made sense.

[nowimscrappin]

I would just say the grade her age associates with. My kids at public school work at classes above their grade - my 9th grader is the only one in her Algebra 2 class with older kids - that doesn't make her a 10th grader. She's a 9th grader. After this grade, many of the classes are "nebulous" for grades anyway for her, and all of her "on grade" classes are honors, but that doesn't make her a grade higher either.

[Jumping In Puddles]

Actually, that's part of the problem. Many of the schools in our area do these online computer program things where kids get individualized homework at their supposed working level, and DD has a couple of friends who are very vocal about "I'm doing 3RD GRADE math! Well, I'm doing 4TH GRADE reading!!!". (Numbers that I believe to be VERY inaccurate, based on what the kids are actually doing, but I digress). Which, in turn, led DD to actually pay attention to those numbers on the books, the AR labels at the library, and the little tag lines on Teacher file box worksheets, and realize that she, too, is above grade level.

 

:ack2: (not to you or your dd but to the system!)

[SKL]

I do plan to get my daughter accelerated in PS, which is one of the reasons I'm homeschooling/afterschooling now. Of course, her acceleration is not entirely up to me, but if it were, I'd say she's in KG with no hesitation, because next year if I have my way, she'll be in 1st grade.

[Crimson Wife]

I do plan to get my daughter accelerated in PS, which is one of the reasons I'm homeschooling/afterschooling now. Of course, her acceleration is not entirely up to me, but if it were, I'd say she's in KG with no hesitation, because next year if I have my way, she'll be in 1st grade.

 

If/when she has a formal grade skip, that's when you give the higher grade. Until that time, she's enrolled in pre-K so that's the grade you say when people ask.

 

Frankly, I find it rather obnoxious when I see posts on this board talking about 3 and 4 y.o's in "1st grade". No, they're not in 1st grade. The parent may be using 1st grade materials, but the student is still in pre-k. This type of arrogant "look at how smart my child is" type bragging is why so many other parents wind up resentful of GATE.

[SKL]

Frankly, I find it rather obnoxious when I see posts on this board talking about 3 and 4 y.o's in "1st grade". No, they're not in 1st grade. The parent may be using 1st grade materials, but the student is still in pre-k. This type of arrogant "look at how smart my child is" type bragging is why so many other parents wind up resentful of GATE.

 

Well, there are kids who are hyper-accelerated (many years) in group school. My kid is unlikely to be one of them, but if one thinks their child could enter school in grade X, I don't see what harm is done.

 

The hardest thing to do as a parent is to avoid comparisons.

 

In my case, I'm really just looking for an easy out, as I tend to get more questions if I bring attention to the girls' age difference. But that's OK, I will deal with it. I don't want to be dishonest or offend anyone.

[beaners]

 

Frankly, I find it rather obnoxious when I see posts on this board talking about 3 and 4 y.o's in "1st grade". No, they're not in 1st grade. The parent may be using 1st grade materials, but the student is still in pre-k. This type of arrogant "look at how smart my child is" type bragging is why so many other parents wind up resentful of GATE.

 

Obnoxious? Because they don't use grade definitions exactly the way you do?

 

I've seen so many angst-ridden posts about young readers and "hothousing" and now grade levels too. It seems like a lot of hostility toward the population of this particular forum without any visible goal. Will shutting down parents of young children on this forum really make a difference for gifted education?

 

Parents discussing what their children are doing in one of the very few acceptable venues are accused of doing nothing but bragging. They might be considering curriculum and how to modify it, or asking what pitfalls they should watch out for, or just wanting to chat. Or they might want to brag just like all of the other parents who are allowed to brag without being called arrogant. Maybe they would even like to talk about what their young children are asking to do without being accused of hothousing.

 

I guess I don't see any harm in parents talking here about things they can't in the real world, and how much is appropriate to share in the real world.

[Jenny in Florida]

If/when she has a formal grade skip, that's when you give the higher grade. Until that time, she's enrolled in pre-K so that's the grade you say when people ask.

 

Frankly, I find it rather obnoxious when I see posts on this board talking about 3 and 4 y.o's in "1st grade". No, they're not in 1st grade. The parent may be using 1st grade materials, but the student is still in pre-k. This type of arrogant "look at how smart my child is" type bragging is why so many other parents wind up resentful of GATE.

 

So, I get the hostility, but I guess I don't understand why?

 

I agree that if we're talking about a child who is, say, the age that is commonly associated with 4th grade but is doing a math curriculum marked "7th Grade," that doesn't make the kid a seventh grader. However, if we're talking about a kid who is doing curricula that range from, say, fifth grade up through ninth and is also unusually emotionally mature and is, perhaps, taking outside or online classes intended for eight graders, in what possible way is that child "in fourth grade?"

 

This isn't about being "arrogant" or "bragging." It's about trying to cope with kids who don't fit the mold. It's about finding a compromise that is societally acceptable and also honors the child's feelings and accomplishments.

 

By the way, for homeschoolers in Florida, there is no way to get a "formal grade skip." We don't report grade levels. However, the one year my daughter was enrolled in an umbrella school, we reported her as two grades ahead of her chronological peers. Does that satisfy your requirements?

 

And I'm afraid I don't even know what "GATE" is.

Edited September 6, 2011 by Jenny in Florida

[poetic license]

 

This isn't about being "arrogant" or "bragging." It's about trying to cope with kids who don't fit the mold. It's about finding a compromise that is societally acceptable and also honors the child's feelings and accomplishments.

 

And I'm afraid I don't even know what "GATE" is.

 

GATE: Gifted and Talented Education (someone correct me if I'm wrong)

 

And :iagree: with the above part. I've got a 4 year old (well almost 5 now) but since 4.5 was doing essentially gr. 1+ work. I didn't call him a 1st grader, but it wouldn't really bother me if someone else in a similar situation did. For me it was not "hothousing", just me desperately trying to keep up with what I realized was his need to be academically challenged. Usually when I talk IRL about what he's doing it's less bragging and me just trying to come up gasping for air... the word you used "cope" is so accurate.

 

And yet because of the things my son knows (which is not really much compared to what I've read of HG/PG kids), people assume that I teach him *all* day. Family members ask him, "so have you done all your lessons for the day?" and people make comments like, "wow, your mom works really hard with you." Ah well, I'm trying to cope myself here...

[angela in ohio]

"We homeschool. If she was in school, she would be in (grade level for age) grade."

 

In public school classrooms, there are children at many different levels. Calling them their grade level by age doesn't mean they don't work above and/or below that level in some areas. It is just our culture's way of discussing a child's age.

 

I wouldn't make a decision to grade-advance a child at a young age (by telling her or others.) I have seen so many people IRL back themselves into a corner that way.

[Jenny in Florida]

"We homeschool. If she was in school, she would be in (grade level for age) grade."

 

This is certainly a perfect way to handle it if it feels true to your family. As I said, my daughter adamantly refused to go along with that wording, because she felt it wasn't accurate. She was never really ahead "in some subjects." She worked at least a few grade levels ahead across the board. My son has never cared as much.

 

The little speech we rehearsed with the kids when they were little went something like this: I'm homeschooled, but I'm x years old.

 

That worked pretty well for most people. If someone pushed, we'd suggest they say something like: I work at different levels for different subjects.

 

And then we suggested they change the subject by asking a question about the other person.

 

Everyone has to find what works for their families and their own kids. For my daughter, the "just say how whatever grade your age peers are in" thing was not comfortable. But if it works for others, that's great. For my son, because he's not as radically accelerated, we usually just jump him by a year or so in casual conversation. All of his friends are older, anyway, so it's a good place for him to be.

[LMD]

We answer based on their sunday school class. So when someone asks my kids what grade they are in I say "They mean what SS class your in".. And they answer appropriately. :) If I didnt have kiddos in SS I would answer based on the grade they are supposed to be in or are currently working on.. So my 6 yo would be in PS K this year but is doing 2nd grade work so I call him 1st grade. LOL. Clear as mud?

 

Yep, exactly this. 2011 would have been DD's first year of school. She's been working on a wide range of grade material, around 1st-2nd grade level, reading is closer to 4th-5th. I couldn't have her sitting in the 'baby' sunday school class another long year, when she would have (and is now) thrived being with the 1st-3rd graders.

So she should be K, working on 2nd, I split the difference and call it 1st.

[Runningmom80]

Frankly, I find it rather obnoxious when I see posts on this board talking about 3 and 4 y.o's in "1st grade". No, they're not in 1st grade. The parent may be using 1st grade materials, but the student is still in pre-k. This type of arrogant "look at how smart my child is" type bragging is why so many other parents wind up resentful of GATE.

 

Why? If a 4 year old is working with ALL first grade materials, I think it's dishonest to say pre-k. What's wrong with saying 1st? In my opinion, if they are using all 1st grade materials, they ARE in 1st grade. I guess it's semantics, but I really don't see it as arrogant. I would consider it lying if I said my son was in preschool when he's really doing 1st grade work. Most of us are opting out of public school because of the lock step, should go through school with age mates philosophy, so I'm certainly not going to continue it at home.

 

That being said, I say K, because of people like the above poster. I don't need anyone to be impressed with my DS, and K isn't that far off from first. He technically misses the K cut-off by 6 weeks, but I doubt a stranger will get that far in the conversation. We'll see how fast he goes through the 1st grade curriculum as to what I call him next year.

[FairProspects]

Why? If a 4 year old is working with ALL first grade materials, I think it's dishonest to say pre-k. What's wrong with saying 1st? In my opinion, if they are using all 1st grade materials, they ARE in 1st grade. I guess it's semantics, but I really don't see it as arrogant. I would consider it lying if I said my son was in preschool when he's really doing 1st grade work.

 

 

But he is not in 1st grade so it does seem dishonest to me. 1st grade is an age designation, not a work level designation. It doesn't matter what you are doing, he is not in 1st grade by age, which is a set calendar cutoff. I think in the homeschooling community people like to do this because it legitimizes the fact that they are homeschooling and they belong to the "real" group of homeschoolers. That is why I say that if preschoolers want to call themselves homeschoolers, they should! Preschool is so pervasive in our society now that people who opt-out really are counter-cultural and deserve to use the term homeschooler too.

 

Besides, if we started using grades by what levels of materials are used who determines what constitutes 1st grade work? There are easy 1st grade programs and hard 1st grade programs. The level of work is not nearly as consistent a determinant as age.

[Runningmom80]

But he is not in 1st grade so it does seem dishonest to me. 1st grade is an age designation, not a work level designation.

 

 

Says who?

[FairProspects]

Says who?

 

Say all 50 states and any other community/religious programs who choose to use the designation. Granted, homeschoolers may not like the federal government very much, but for better or worse we are still members of a society that uses the imperfect system since the majority of the country abides by it. Unless you want to succeed and start your own system I suppose, but then again, who defines what constitutes 1st grade work? I've seen 1st grade programs that are too hard for many 7 y.o.s and 1st grade programs that are too easy for my 4 y.o. If 1st grade doesn't mean age, what exactly does it mean? You'd have to define what working at a 1st grade level is, and since most young children are very asynchronous in development I doubt you'll get a lot of consensus on that one.

[catz]

Why? If a 4 year old is working with ALL first grade materials, I think it's dishonest to say pre-k. What's wrong with saying 1st? In my opinion, if they are using all 1st grade materials, they ARE in 1st grade. I guess it's semantics, but I really don't see it as arrogant. I would consider it lying if I said my son was in preschool when he's really doing 1st grade work. Most of us are opting out of public school because of the lock step, should go through school with age mates philosophy, so I'm certainly not going to continue it at home.

 

.

 

I think that's fine. But actually I think you're buying into lock step when you use grade designations that way. Who knows what exactly 1st grade means anyway? My child went to PS for 2 years and there was a HUGE range in abilities(40% GT). Especially in reading, but in math too. My child sat in K & 1st grade with other bright kids and read chapter books and got work sheets on fractions, and I still called him first grade. I'd rather have my kid working on Singapore 3 or 4 then maybe other jr. high math curriculum because it's deeper and more challenging. So I could call my child a 3rd grader using Sinagpore, but a 6th grader using an easier curriculum?

 

Maybe that's why I don't get too hung up on grade designation. The vast majority of the time when asked, people are just curious about age and I say "he would be in 5th grade", and leave it at that. I don't think it's lying. It's divulging the info that the asker really wants. 5th graders and 4 year olds come in all shapes, sizes, and abilities. My 5th grader could not sit in a 9th grade class this year and deal socially and produce all the output needed to be successful even though he's more than ready for the input. And I would have been hard pressed to find a 1st or 2nd grade teacher than would have taken him at 4, with his motor mouth and inability to sit still.

[Runningmom80]

Well that was my point. I personally am not sending my son to PS, because he is ready for first grade work (which by the way, I'm confused as to the "what constitutes first grade work question. The curriculum writers?) but because of his age, he wouldn't be allowed to be.

 

 

I guess I'm surprised at the debate, I thought this was an "accelerated learners" board? Here is where I would expect people to understand why my 4 year old is in 1st grade, and not get stuck on an arbitrary age designation.

[Runningmom80]

I think that's fine. But actually I think you're buying into lock step when you use grade designations that way. Who knows what exactly 1st grade means anyway? My child went to PS for 2 years and there was a HUGE range in abilities(40% GT). Especially in reading, but in math too. My child sat in K & 1st grade with other bright kids and read chapter books and got work sheets on fractions, and I still called him first grade. I'd rather have my kid working on Singapore 3 or 4 then maybe other jr. high math curriculum because it's deeper and more challenging. So I could call my child a 3rd grader using Sinagpore, but a 6th grader using an easier curriculum?

 

Maybe that's why I don't get too hung up on grade designation. The vast majority of the time when asked, people are just curious about age and I say "he would be in 5th grade", and leave it at that. I don't think it's lying. It's divulging the info that the asker really wants. 5th graders and 4 year olds come in all shapes, sizes, and abilities. My 5th grader could not sit in a 9th grade class this year and deal socially and produce all the output needed to be successful even though he's more than ready for the input. And I would have been hard pressed to find a 1st or 2nd grade teacher than would have taken him at 4, with his motor mouth and inability to sit still.

 

 

I understand, and agree. If we didn't live in a culture that loves grade designations and age requirements, we could avoid it. Maybe I'll just answer with his age....

[Jenny in Florida]

But he is not in 1st grade so it does seem dishonest to me. 1st grade is an age designation, not a work level designation.

 

But that's just not true. Schools skip kids who are ahead academically and hold back those who are behind.

 

I don't see why homeschoolers should not have the same freedom.

[Jenny in Florida]

I guess I'm surprised at the debate, I thought this was an "accelerated learners" board? Here is where I would expect people to understand why my 4 year old is in 1st grade, and not get stuck on an arbitrary age designation.

 

Yep. This, too.

 

I'm always surprised that, even here, I have to be careful about what I say.

[FairProspects]

I think that's fine. But actually I think you're buying into lock step when you use grade designations that way. Who knows what exactly 1st grade means anyway? My child went to PS for 2 years and there was a HUGE range in abilities(40% GT). Especially in reading, but in math too. My child sat in K & 1st grade with other bright kids and read chapter books and got work sheets on fractions, and I still called him first grade. I'd rather have my kid working on Singapore 3 or 4 then maybe other jr. high math curriculum because it's deeper and more challenging. So I could call my child a 3rd grader using Sinagpore, but a 6th grader using an easier curriculum?

 

:iagree:This is my point exactly.

[catz]

 

I guess I'm surprised at the debate, I thought this was an "accelerated learners" board? Here is where I would expect people to understand why my 4 year old is in 1st grade, and not get stuck on an arbitrary age designation.

 

I understand it all too well! :D I just guess for me personally, I wasn't ready to call my 4 year old a 1st grader to the general public because I didn't know that I'd want to send him to college 2 years early and I didn't want the 30 minute discussion that would follow. I think absolutely, people should use whatever curriculum and resources your kids are ready for, homeschooling or PS. I'm all in favor and I do it here!

 

I just think when I get the grade level question, it's good to know my audience. Many people really ask that question synonymously with asking age. And some people are surprised that my kids do or say something that seems older, and then it leads to a deeper discussion. I guess describing my kid's grade academically and socially cannot accurately be a 1 word answer and our PS experience showed that even PS kids grades don't necessarily mean much.

 

I actually think the OP has a unique circumstance, and I don't know what I'd do in that case! Especially because her kids are SO close in age - 3 months is nothing.