How do I answer: "Are they in school? What grade?"

[FairProspects]

But that's just not true. Schools skip kids who are ahead academically and hold back those who are behind.

 

I don't see why homeschoolers should not have the same freedom.

 

They don't skip here academically here. Designations are made strictly by cut off age not work level (not that this is right, but that's the way it is). I've even seen parents list different addresses to try to get their child in a district with an earlier cutoff and then transfer in later so the school has to honor it.

 

I think the issue with grade level is more a community rather than academic one. If the materials you use are working for you, then great. I'm talking more about opportunities that would be available by saying you are a 1st grader, like a 4 y.o. getting into a camp listed for 1st-4th graders and taking a spot from an older child. That just doesn't seem fair to a child who has waited for the opportunity, but maybe that is a whole other discussion.

[Dmmetler]

But that's just not true. Schools skip kids who are ahead academically and hold back those who are behind.

 

I don't see why homeschoolers should not have the same freedom.

 

 

Honestly, I've gotten more pressure from homeschoolers about having my DD listed a grade ahead of the age cutoff than I got from the schools. They had no trouble, after seeing her test scores and seeing her in a group setting, in putting her in K at 4 1/2 and having her do 2nd grade work. But if I want to, at age 6, put her in a 2nd-5th grade homeschool class, despite the fact that she WOULD BE in 2nd if she were in PS still, I get a lot of flack because "she's 1st grade age"-and heaven help us if I think a 3rd grade group (which is at the low end of where she tends to function best socially and cognitively) would be a better fit, because that's just not going to happen-which is why we're sitting out of a lot of interesting activities that are listed for 3rd grade and up this year.

 

I'd have a much easier time getting a 2nd grade skip accepted if we were to go back to ps (in fact, one reason why I pulled her to HS was that I didn't want to do one and that was part of what was proposed) than I do in the HS world.

[Mandy in TN]

If/when she has a formal grade skip, that's when you give the higher grade. Until that time, she's enrolled in pre-K so that's the grade you say when people ask.

 

Frankly, I find it rather obnoxious when I see posts on this board talking about 3 and 4 y.o's in "1st grade". No, they're not in 1st grade. The parent may be using 1st grade materials, but the student is still in pre-k. This type of arrogant "look at how smart my child is" type bragging is why so many other parents wind up resentful of GATE.

Many homeschoolers don't report a grade, so this doesn't make sense. If a mother is comfortable handing out lots of information about her family and defending her child's intelligence and her family's educational plans to strangers on the street, then saying that her child is several grades ahead isn't arrogant. It is honest. It is no different than when one mother tells me that her child won the regional violin competition or when another mother says that her child made the competitive soccer team. However, for me and my child, I just wouldn't share any of that kind of information at a random meeting while out and about.

 

I guess I'm surprised at the debate, I thought this was an "accelerated learners" board? Here is where I would expect people to understand why my 4 year old is in 1st grade, and not get stuck on an arbitrary age designation.

I am not debating the acceleration of an individual child. I am more debating that when Sally Sue the Check-Out Clerk asks me what grade Doodle is in does she really want to know the level of his curriculum or does she really mean to ask is his age. Also, for me, this is a privacy issue. Really, all Sally Sue needs to know about my child is vaguely how old he is and that is all the information I plan to give.

 

I understand where Jenny in FL is coming from, but Mary taking the orders at McDonald's would be told that my child was in 7th grade or something vague like he will be a teenager this spring before I shared with her that he was a freshman in college. My kids understand how I feel. I just don't share personal information or even my name with random people about town. I try to say something polite and vague and move on.

 

Mandy

[melmichigan]

I say they are homeschooled and give their ages, end of story usually. In my area it could go so many different ways for each one that it isn't worth even figuring out most of the time, for example my oldest DD could be in 5th, 6th or 7th at the local PS.

[Runningmom80]

I say they are homeschooled and give their ages, end of story usually. In my area it could go so many different ways for each one that it isn't worth even figuring out most of the time, for example my oldest DD could be in 5th, 6th or 7th at the local PS.

 

 

I think that's what I will do too. I would hate for my DS to feel like I was ashamed of what "grade level" he was in, or think that it's something we need to be dishonest about. (Not that he would at this point, he has no idea what level he is at.) I mean, If he goes to college two years early, it would be absurd to tell people "10th grade," right?

 

Like I said, I answer K at this point, because I don't feel like I need to get into it. My DS is very tall for his age, so if anything, people probably think he's too old for k. :)

Edited September 7, 2011 by Runningmom80

[Embassy]

I've done grade = age from the beginning. I don't think it is dishonest to tell someone my child is in x grade when he is doing work from another grade. I don't think it is dishonest for a child with special needs to say he is in third grade and still learning to read either. Grades to us are a year of school. My children know they are doing work above their actual grade, but have never had any problems identifying with their grade. They advance to the next grade when they have finished another year of school. I started my second child in school a year sooner than his brother and had him do two 2 Kindergarten years (Jr. Kindergarten, Sr. Kindergarten). These grade level distinctions have nothing to do with the work they are doing. They do what they are ready to do whenever they are ready to do it.

 

As you can guess I don't plan on an early graduation.

[regentrude]

"We homeschool. She is 14."

Enough said.

She would be in 9th grade if she had continued school without skipping.

She is sort of in 10th grade because she will graduate in 2014.

She is actually doing college level work in some subjects, has taken college classes at age 13, audits a 300 level class...

Almost nobody who asks the question will want to know these details. They just want to know how old the kid is.

[angela in ohio]

I am not debating the acceleration of an individual child. I am more debating that when Sally Sue the Check-Out Clerk asks me what grade Doodle is in does she really want to know the level of his curriculum or does she really mean to ask is his age. Also, for me, this is a privacy issue. Really, all Sally Sue needs to know about my child is vaguely how old he is and that is all the information I plan to give.

 

Yes. The OP wasn't asking what grade *she* should consider her dc. She was asking what to say when a random stranger asks for a grade level. I keep it simple. My dc have no problem wtih that. At this point, they definitely understand that they/we are different from many people and that we need to have pat answers for some things to get along in this world. And saying they are a grade or two ahead wouldn't be any closer to the truth than saying they are the grade level they are by age, so why bother with that?

[Barbara H]

I think that's what I will do too. I would hate for my DS to feel like I was ashamed of what "grade level" he was in, or think that it's something we need to be dishonest about. (Not that he would at this point, he has no idea what level he is at.) I mean, If he goes to college two years early, it would be absurd to tell people "10th grade," right?

 

 

In my experience these questions are asked much more often of little kids. It is just a way of grocery clerks, etc. making pleasant conversation and as others have said an indirect way to ask about age. By the teenage years these questions from strangers largely stopped. If they do happen by then your child will likely have a strong opinion how he or she would like to answer so I wouldn't worry about it. As a parent of a child who went to college early, my position is that revealing that is up to the student. If they don't feel like getting into a long conversation about that with a stranger it is fine and it is if they do that's fine too.

[Jenny in Florida]

They don't skip here academically here. Designations are made strictly by cut off age not work level (not that this is right, but that's the way it is). I've even seen parents list different addresses to try to get their child in a district with an earlier cutoff and then transfer in later so the school has to honor it.

 

I think the issue with grade level is more a community rather than academic one. If the materials you use are working for you, then great. I'm talking more about opportunities that would be available by saying you are a 1st grader, like a 4 y.o. getting into a camp listed for 1st-4th graders and taking a spot from an older child. That just doesn't seem fair to a child who has waited for the opportunity, but maybe that is a whole other discussion.

 

Most school districts, including the one in which we live, do academic skips. We, personally, know several children who have been skipped by a grade or more. For example, we know one girl through our church who is a year younger than my son (making her 7th grade by age) who started high school this year.

 

The problem with the thinking in your second paragraph is that the 4 year old in question then NEVER gets to enjoy that camp. Because, by the time he or she is "old enough" to go, the child is academically past the content.

 

Ask me how I know.

[FairProspects]

Most school districts, including the one in which we live, do academic skips. We, personally, know several children who have been skipped by a grade or more. For example, we know one girl through our church who is a year younger than my son (making her 7th grade by age) who started high school this year.

 

The problem with the thinking in your second paragraph is that the 4 year old in question then NEVER gets to enjoy that camp. Because, by the time he or she is "old enough" to go, the child is academically past the content.

 

Ask me how I know.

 

Well, I think you and I just disagree philosophically about this issue. Which is fine by me, but I doubt further discussion on this topic will make us agree. I'm not sure the 4 y.o. deserves to go to camp based just on their academic ability. Personally, I believe their are other considerations more important than academics that should comprise grade level and it is often these intangibles that camps/schools/churches are looking for when they use grade as a determinant. Highly accelerated children may also possess these intangibles at a young age, but they also may not, and their presence if they are not ready can complicate or ruin the opportunity for those equally intelligent but also emotionally & physically mature who waited due to age considerations. Ask me how I know. ;)

 

Like I said, obviously we disagree, and have disagreed about this topic in the past, so fortunately we are free to make different decisions in the best interest of our dc. :)

[Jenny in Florida]

Honestly, I've gotten more pressure from homeschoolers about having my DD listed a grade ahead of the age cutoff than I got from the schools. They had no trouble, after seeing her test scores and seeing her in a group setting, in putting her in K at 4 1/2 and having her do 2nd grade work. But if I want to, at age 6, put her in a 2nd-5th grade homeschool class, despite the fact that she WOULD BE in 2nd if she were in PS still, I get a lot of flack because "she's 1st grade age"-and heaven help us if I think a 3rd grade group (which is at the low end of where she tends to function best socially and cognitively) would be a better fit, because that's just not going to happen-which is why we're sitting out of a lot of interesting activities that are listed for 3rd grade and up this year.

 

I'd have a much easier time getting a 2nd grade skip accepted if we were to go back to ps (in fact, one reason why I pulled her to HS was that I didn't want to do one and that was part of what was proposed) than I do in the HS world.

 

I completely relate. This was one of the major reasons we gave up on homeschool groups. The activities that were open to my daughter based on her age were far too babyish for her, but she was too young to participate in many of the things that would have been of interest.

 

For a while, the folks who were planning the bulk of the activities were really good about including her. (I had one mom, without even talking to me first, argue her case with a musuem to which she was hosting a field trip, saying the group wouldn't come unless my daughter could participate, since she would get more out of it than most of the older kids.) But then a new mom joined the group and became very active very quickly. She had two older kids and immediately started posting activities with age restrictions. When I tried to negotiate with her, she got very nasty. I eventually left the group.

 

Once we left homeschool groups behind, I discovered that a lot of places that offer classes to the public were much more accomodating. Many of them routinely let me place my daughter a group up from her age peers, where she was still a stand-out in the class. Same thing now with my son. People are always surprised when they find out how old he is, and I am frequently told he should move up a group.

 

But the homeschoolers were ugly about it.

 

I just assumed, though, that it was because we were hanging out primarily with unschool-y, non-academically-focused folks. It still surprises me when I encounter this kind of thing not only on a board intended for rigorous homeshcoolers but on the sub-board specifically for parents of accelerated learners.

 

I wonder where it would be "safe" for parents like us?

Edited September 7, 2011 by Jenny in Florida

[Jenny in Florida]

WelHighly accelerated children may also possess these intangibles at a young age, but they also may not, and their presence if they are not ready can complicate or ruin the opportunity for those equally intelligent but also emotionally & physically mature who waited due to age considerations. Ask me how I know. ;)

 

Absolutely agreed, actually. I teach Sunday school at our church, and I ended up bouncing a couple of the youngest kids down a class a couple of years ago, because they were disruptive. They are both very bright, but socially and behaviourally just weren't a good match for the rest of the group.

 

And if we had ever had any teacher or group leader ever make so much as a peep about being discontented with having one of my younger-than-average children in a group, I would have pulled the kid in question in heartbeat.

 

It's never happened.

 

Like I said, obviously we disagree, and have disagreed about this topic in the past, so fortunately we are free to make different decisions in the best interest of our dc. :)

 

Here's the thing: I don't disagree that, for many--maybe even most--families and kids, the "just say whatever grade your age peers are in" approach works really well. I'm glad it worked for you. I respect your point of view. Honest!

 

What bothers me is that the respect thing doesn't seem to be reciprocated. Folks on the "other side" of this (as though it's a competition) seem to get very high and mighty about being "right." "This," they seem to say, "is the only thing that makes sense."

 

So, I always have to jump in and say, "Well, maybe not for everyone."

 

But, you're right. I doubt anything I say will make a difference, anyway.

Edited September 7, 2011 by Jenny in Florida

[Runningmom80]

 

 

 

Here's the thing: I don't disagree that, for many--maybe even most--families and kids, the "just say whatever grade your age peers are in" approach works really well. I'm glad it worked for you. I respect your point of view. Honest!

 

What bothers me is that the respect thing doesn't seem to be reciprocated. Folks on the "other side" of this (as though it's a competition) seem to get very high and mighty about being "right." "This," they seem to say, "is the only thing that makes sense."

 

So, I always have to jump in and say, "Well, maybe not for everyone."

 

But, you're right. I doubt anything I say will make a difference, anyway.

 

 

Or they are called arrogant. :001_smile:

 

 

I know the davidson board is a little controversial on here, but I find it really helpful, and everyone is completely understanding and supportive about this kind of thing.

[SKL]

It still surprises me when I encounter this kind of thing not only on a board intended for rigorous homeshcoolers but on the sub-board specifically for parents of accelerated learners.

 

I wonder where it would be "safe" for parents like us?

 

I do believe that the only way this subforum can be useful to us is if we are allowed to be honest. If our kid is bright and mature for her age, can't that just be a fact that we can state? I mean, nobody gets angry if I mention that my dd1 took forever to learn her letters. So why should they get angry if I say dd2 learned them quickly? If all of my 4yo's good friends are in KG or higher, why should that fact offend anyone? I'm trying to solve a problem here [placement]. Not create one.

 

We're all different. Some of you are smarter than I and some of your kids are smarter than mine. Some of you have more time for homeschooling, more money, more support, more experience or more guts. That's fine with me - I just want to get some ideas for going from point A to point B, and where I've had success, share my experience for others' benefit.

 

Obviously many forum members are open to hearing of others' successes, or this sub-forum would not exist. I say, let's all just be ourselves, whoever that is.

[FairProspects]

Here's the thing: I don't disagree that, for many--maybe even most--families and kids, the "just say whatever grade your age peers are in" approach works really well. I'm glad it worked for you. I respect your point of view. Honest!

 

What bothers me is that the respect thing doesn't seem to be reciprocated. Folks on the "other side" of this (as though it's a competition) seem to get very high and mighty about being "right." "This," they seem to say, "is the only thing that makes sense."

 

So, I always have to jump in and say, "Well, maybe not for everyone."

 

But, you're right. I doubt anything I say will make a difference, anyway.

 

Well, I didn't mean to say that at all that I'm not hearing you or that your opinion doesn't matter because it does, and I respect your viewpoint as well. And its funny, because personally I feel that the age = grade view is less commonly expressed in the homeschooling community, especially on this sub-board. I guess our own perspective colors how we see the issue from all sides :D.

 

My point is just that there are those of us with extremely academically capable kids as well who have chosen to remain in the age grade (or even red-shirt) for reasons beyond academics (which I'm sure many parents of gifted kids can understand given their sensitivities and quirks). That is not an option I see discussed often on this board. And I feel the opposite lack of respect for that decision, or that it somehow short-changes the kid regardless of materials used, because of not labeling "X" grade despite capability when really the placement considers far more complex and difficult variables. But then again, I come from the perspective of raising a 2E kid which is not at all straight forward (but are any gifted kids really?).:)

[FairProspects]

I do believe that the only way this subforum can be useful to us is if we are allowed to be honest. If our kid is bright and mature for her age, can't that just be a fact that we can state? I mean, nobody gets angry if I mention that my dd1 took forever to learn her letters. So why should they get angry if I say dd2 learned them quickly? If all of my 4yo's good friends are in KG or higher, why should that fact offend anyone? I'm trying to solve a problem here [placement]. Not create one.

 

We're all different. Some of you are smarter than I and some of your kids are smarter than mine. Some of you have more time for homeschooling, more money, more support, more experience or more guts. That's fine with me - I just want to get some ideas for going from point A to point B, and where I've had success, share my experience for others' benefit.

 

Obviously many forum members are open to hearing of others' successes, or this sub-forum would not exist. I say, let's all just be ourselves, whoever that is.

 

I don't have any problem with people stating that their kids are smart or that they picked up on things quickly. More power to you and them!

 

I do think though that we can choose different educational philosophies on how to handle that ability, and obviously on a board as big as this one there will be differences in opinion even within the smart/accelerated/gifted label. It doesn't mean that people are jealous or trying to demean anyone's ability. It just means there is more than one way to educate even an accelerated child. Options and different opinions are good. They challenge you (metaphorical) to think and decide whether or not you agree and why. :)

[FairProspects]

I just assumed, though, that it was because we were hanging out primarily with unschool-y, non-academically-focused folks. It still surprises me when I encounter this kind of thing not only on a board intended for rigorous homeschoolers but on the sub-board specifically for parents of accelerated learners.

 

I wonder where it would be "safe" for parents like us?

 

Sorry about the triple post. If I had thought it through first, I should have multi-quoted. :)

 

This is just because we all come from different perspectives even within the accelerated label. There is no 2E board currently and those of us who asked were told to post here rather than on the SN board (because of obvious insensitivities) and the fact that the K-8 board doesn't address some of the acceleration/challenge concerns. So, even within the accelerated (self-decided) label, there are a lot of variations and challenges here.

 

I don't feel "safe" here either, if it is any consolation, since we are not traditionally accelerated. I'm just going to have to sit in my discomfort though, since I'd rather get some answers to questions that have escaped me on the regular K-8 board.

[poetic license]

I had been of the mind to just call my son according to age, but I kind of like the idea of "splitting the difference." I should have probably (for academic records purposes) just considered last year as KG when he was doing gr. 1 stuff. He's still finishing up gr. 1 stuff (in some areas LOL) so we could consider this year as grade 1.

 

Normally I wouldn't care if we were 100% homeschooling, but we are doing part time school as well so it might have made it easier to deal with school admin if we just considered him as skipping a grade. Oh well.

 

I appreciate the ideas for asking programs to consider putting the DC into higher aged classes. Socially my son can deal with higher age kids and be quiet and attentive but the level of the stuff his age has been holding me back from trying to enroll him in enrichment activities.

[catz]

My point is just that there are those of us with extremely academically capable kids as well who have chosen to remain in the age grade (or even red-shirt) for reasons beyond academics (which I'm sure many parents of gifted kids can understand given their sensitivities and quirks). That is not an option I see discussed often on this board. And I feel the opposite lack of respect for that decision, or that it somehow short-changes the kid regardless of materials used, because of not labeling "X" grade despite capability when really the placement considers far more complex and difficult variables. But then again, I come from the perspective of raising a 2E kid which is not at all straight forward (but are any gifted kids really?).:)

 

:iagree:

 

I guess every interaction that asks what grade level my kid's are cannot become a session on GT advocacy and education for my own personal sanity. I really didn't feel like there was really lack of respect here. I respect everyone's view. If you have a child that you feel comfortable calling ahead of grade level, that's any parents prerogative.

 

Just thinking of my oldest, he tested at mid high school level and higher in several areas including math this spring on open end academic testing. He's 10 years old and 60 lbs soaking wet. My young first grader with a summer birthday tested solidly as a 4th grader across the boards, and higher in some areas. There's not a number I could say that would make sense outside the context of our homeschooling day. I totally understand, embrace, and love acceleration. It is a HUGE reason we have chosen homeschool here. GT local PS kids regularly take college classes in high school. Not unusual for the highest tier kids at all. We have GT magnets too that call 8 year olds 3rd graders, but they get the depth and materials of a jr. high class. The grade level designation just doesn't mean much to me. When we're ready for college classes, we'll sign up for them and not stress too much what grade level we're calling ourselves that year. My kids would need to push for early "move away" college, othewise we'll keep "going wide". And I fully understand some kids DO push for that. My kids are not 2E either, but they're definitely asynchronous.

 

The HARDEST time for me with having a GT kid was ages 3 - to maybe 6. Especially for my oldest (my younger can tail my older). There were very few activities available that would engage him and he wasn't behaviorally ready to sit in classes with 8+ year olds. He is super small for age. He asked questions and expected answers from morning until night and we hadn't found peers and community yet. I feel lucky we have a rich GT community here and many activities available are more open ended so kids can come to it from where they're at.

 

I like the Davidson board too, though I have seen a discussion or 2 get heated there! I was made to feel like the devil incarnate once because my kid's music lessons are mandatory for them. :D

Edited September 7, 2011 by kck

[SKL]

 

The HARDEST time for me with having a GT kid was ages 3 - to maybe 6. Especially for my oldest (my younger can tail my older). There were very few activities available that would engage him and he wasn't behaviorally ready to sit in classes with 8+ year olds. He is super small for age. He asked questions and expected answers from morning until night and we hadn't found peers and community yet.

 

I like the Davidson board too, though I have seen a discussion or 2 get heated there! I was made to feel like the devil incarnate once because my kid's music lessons are mandatory for them. :D

 

Yep, this is where I'm at. I know of some activities that might be great for both of my kids - for example, classes at the museum - but they are not accessible to us since I work 7 days per week. We do stuff together for a few hours each night, but I feel like I'm failing dd2 with her daytime situation. I'm still working on it, though.

 

Dare I ask what the Davidson board is??

[Crimson Wife]

It is no different than when one mother tells me that her child won the regional violin competition or when another mother says that her child made the competitive soccer team.

 

That's obnoxious bragging, too IMHO. Except for relatives, nobody give's a rat's patootie how "extraordinary" your kid is- so why do you feel the need to announce it to the world?

 

if we're talking about a kid who is doing curricula that range from, say, fifth grade up through ninth and is also unusually emotionally mature and is, perhaps, taking outside or online classes intended for eight graders, in what possible way is that child "in fourth grade?"

 

The child is in 4th grade because he/she is 9 some time during this year. Period. The grade level designation on the front of his/her curricula doesn't change this fact.

 

Would you say that a 9 y.o. LD child is in "first grade" because that's the level of work he/she is doing?

[Runningmom80]

If a kid is held back because they failed 3rd grade, what grade would you say they are in?

[Embassy]

I actually had someone question me why my son was in 2nd grade at age 8 as though I had held him back. :D:lol: He turned 8 in the middle of the school year. Guess I could accelerate one grade without much of an issue with others:tongue_smilie:

[Jenny in Florida]

That's obnoxious bragging, too IMHO. Except for relatives, nobody give's a rat's patootie how "extraordinary" your kid is- so why do you feel the need to announce it to the world?

 

 

 

The child is in 4th grade because he/she is 9 some time during this year. Period. The grade level designation on the front of his/her curricula doesn't change this fact.

 

Would you say that a 9 y.o. LD child is in "first grade" because that's the level of work he/she is doing?

 

And here's exactly the kind of post I mentioned earlier.

 

I give up.

[Jenny in Florida]

If a kid is held back because they failed 3rd grade, what grade would you say they are in?

 

Excellent question. Or, if the local school district skips a kid ahead a grade, I guess it doesn't matter, because he's not the right age, anyway.

 

(I guess I hadn't given up quite yet.)

[HomeschoolingMy4]

Maybe my answer is different because most my kids were in public school, so we answer their traditional grades- 4,5,9th.. my only hesitation is with my youngest because she's still finishing up 1st grade but we typically just call her a 2nd grader.. but she missed the cut-off here by 24 days but we're from another state that she was started in that she would be a 2nd grader.. LOL All that to say she's a second grader, pretty much.. it is the SECOND grade she's done! :)

[Whereneverever]

Excellent question. Or, if the local school district skips a kid ahead a grade, I guess it doesn't matter, because he's not the right age, anyway.

 

(I guess I hadn't given up quite yet.)

 

Jenny, don't give up. Some of us really like your perspective and advice. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Mandy in TN]

That's obnoxious bragging, too IMHO. Except for relatives, nobody give's a rat's patootie how "extraordinary" your kid is- so why do you feel the need to announce it to the world?

To strangers out and about I have clearly said that I don't share information. However, I celebrate the accomplishments of my friend's children. I hug the child and congratulate them. I tell the parents how wonderful and exciting for them and their child and I mean it. I am all for seeing their swim ribbons, best jam ribbons, and whatever else. I do care.

 

The child is in 4th grade because he/she is 9 some time during this year. Period. The grade level designation on the front of his/her curricula doesn't change this fact.?

In TN, a public school student must be 5 before Sept 30 to start K. Many of the private schools have Sept1 or even Aug1 cutoffs. A child starts K at 5 and turns 6; 1st at 6 and turns 7; 2nd at 7 and turns 8; 3rd at 8 and turns 9 during the year. I think you may have accidentally grade skipped your child. By your calculations, the OP's child is a K student.

 

Would you say that a 9 y.o. LD child is in "first grade" because that's the level of work he/she is doing?

I have said that I state grade by age, because that is all a stranger needs to know.

 

However, as far as registering for a grade, if my LD child was working several grades below grade level, yes, in fact, I would report him as being in the grade level where he was able to work. I held my 2E son and he turned 19yo the month before he graduated from high school. If a child cannot work at the grade level, he should be held.

 

HTH-

Mandy

[Runningmom80]

Jenny, don't give up. Some of us really like your perspective and advice. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

 

Ditto!

 

 

Although, I think she is right, there are some of us who feel strongly one way, and some of us who feel strongly another.

One side isn't going to change the other side's mind.

 

Just know that I say my kid is in a certain grade, because I feel that's the best way to describe him, not to feed my own ego. His giftedness has absolutely nothing to do with me. :001_smile:

[boscopup]

3rd at 8 and turns 9 during the year. I think you may have accidentally grade skipped your child.

 

She's in CA. The cutoff date there at the time her child started K was Dec. 2, I believe.

[gracyomalley]

I think this is a harder issue for parents of younger accelerated kids, and of course those with HG/PG...where I would assume all bets are off, so to speak. Its hard as an exclusive homeschooler to figure this out for afterschoolers - many times this is simply a non-issue for us - even the "graduating early" thing - my kids will graduate when they are ready...emotionally, academically, financially....and as long as we keep good records and a trail of good test scores, with dual enrollment options, I'm not worried about what "grade" they will be in. I suspect one with graduate at 17, one at 18 and one at 19....but I honestly know that it will be more up to them than me!

 

I know I worried more when my middle was younger. Yes, she did a homeschool K curriculum in 5 months at 4, and first grade work was finished before she turned 6...we did bump her up for SS for a while, and we did do science classes with older brother (2 years accelerated for her), but always with the understanding that if it filled up with older kids she would be wait-listed. I was fine with that!

 

Now with all of my kids I am fine with and use the answer "we homeschool, he/she is ___ years old". If people ask further I say something like, "we work at different levels in different subjects, whatever he/she is ready for". If they are really interested in how that works, then I give details.

 

I have found that as they have moved into interest based activities, they need less "acceleration". By middle school age, most kids taking science camps are either gifted or at least so interested in science that its a wash. In music it scarcely matters, you work at your level, not your age in this community - which puts ds with adults, dd with kids her age to 2-3 years older, and ds right the middle of his group. In Sunday School it has actually been more appropriate to keep my 11 year old with the 9-11 year olds than in the "middle school" group - socially and emotionally that's where he belongs. (now in our church that group is probably 75% gifted kids by PS tracking...but still)

 

We don't do tons of stuff in co-ops, etc. If we did, I suspect we'd see a huge variance in HS styles - and we would be more rigorous than many, which would naturally lead to my kids working at different levels than some of their age mates.

 

The only real advice I can give to parents of younger bright ones, is to relax and if at all possible don't decide yet!!! Just do the work your child is ready for, find outlets that are appropriate (dd did a one day science class first before she was allowed to jump up 2 grades - that way it was the teachers who recognized her ability and maturity - not my say so).

 

Each kid is soooo different, and by homeschooling we acknowledge that. I think half the "disagreement" over this issue on this forum is that there is a mixture of homeschoolers and "others", for whom this issue really has a very different meaning/importance. To those of us who homeschool, we may sense "arrogance", or "pushing", or (to me) a lack of realization of all the different aspects of a gifted kids development...but I don't walk that walk. And every time I look at what friends deal with in ps - I'm very glad I don't have to make my kids "fit" any particular grade level!!!

 

Erin

[Beth in SW WA]

Jenny, don't give up. Some of us really like your perspective and advice. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

:iagree: Keep sharing. :)

 

I tell the parents how wonderful and exciting for them and their child and I mean it. I am all for seeing their swim ribbons, best jam ribbons, and whatever else. I do care.

 

 

 

As do I, Mandy. I love the FB bragging also. I am genuinely interested in how my friends' kids are doing in school, music, sports, leadership, etc. I am inspired.

 

Parents here, please keep sharing your dc's accomplishments! I may not comment often, but I enjoy reading the brag posts. This sub-forum should be a safe place....

[rafiki]

.

[SKL]

I am genuinely interested in how my friends' kids are doing in school, music, sports, leadership, etc. I am inspired.

 

Parents here, please keep sharing your dc's accomplishments! I may not comment often, but I enjoy reading the brag posts. This sub-forum should be a safe place....

 

I too love to see it, because it helps to show a realistic view of what is possible, and frankly it keeps me down to earth, as my kids are nowhere near as smart as some of yours. Plus, of course, it's great to see people celebrate.

 

The other day I was so excited that my slower reader had acquired her first sight word. I was so tempted to share, but there was noplace it felt safe. She has special needs, but I didn't feel it would be appreciated on the special needs board. It's OK, but it would be nice to be able to share freely even when our kids' triumphs are atypical.

[Crimson Wife]

If a kid is held back because they failed 3rd grade, what grade would you say they are in?

 

How do you "fail" a grade in a HS setting? :confused: In a HS environment, the work is tailored to where the child is at. A child may need to repeat a particular subject (esp. math) but that's not the same thing as repeating a grade in a classroom setting.

[Runningmom80]

How do you "fail" a grade in a HS setting? :confused: In a HS environment, the work is tailored to where the child is at. A child may need to repeat a particular subject (esp. math) but that's not the same thing as repeating a grade in a classroom setting.

 

 

 

I'm talking about in public school, but I would imagine that sometimes it happens in HS, a kid needs two years for a grade.

[Crimson Wife]

A child starts K at 5 and turns 6; 1st at 6 and turns 7; 2nd at 7 and turns 8; 3rd at 8 and turns 9 during the year. I think you may have accidentally grade skipped your child.

 

My DD is currently 8 yrs. 11 mos. She will be 9 for the bulk of 4th grade. Had she a birthday from December through August, she would be 9 when she started 4th and for at least half of that grade. The only way a child would be 9 for the bulk of 3rd grade would be if he/she were a "red-shirted" summer or fall birthday kid.

[MissKNG]

I'm talking about in public school, but I would imagine that sometimes it happens in HS, a kid needs two years for a grade.

 

In our state, if a child fails 3rd grade, he/she would be a 3rd grader again. Actually a gal I graduated with was a late 19 years old when we graduated HS because she failed a grade.

[FairProspects]

I'm talking about in public school, but I would imagine that sometimes it happens in HS, a kid needs two years for a grade.

 

Schools have full inclusion here for better or worse. It doesn't matter what level you work at, you don't fail a grade. This is the No Child Left Behind era which means no failing. Instead, you get an Individualized Learning Plan (IEP) or a 504 plan (some accommodations) or you get pulled out for additional resource and tutoring time one on one. You still stay at grade by age, they do not hold back at all. Post NCLB public school regulations are really different than when we were growing up.

 

Credit wise high school is a whole different ballgame, but by then there are so many other kids in credit retrieval or who have failed classes and messed up their graduation times for various reasons that age is less relevant than graduation date.

[serendipitous journey]

I just saw this ... it's interesting that it's such magnet of a thread!

 

I say DS is in first but I think that's mainly because we are tracking his grade by subject matter, roughly, not level. DH sometimes corrects me (in front of family only) to DS's math or reading level. But we plan to graduate him after 12 years of school, or perhaps 11 and a year of carefully managed travel/work; and I consider him a first grader regardless of his skill level b/c I'm following a plan of three four-year cycles and he's in the first year of the first cycle.

 

confession: I am a bit off the wagon there; our history cycle is not running yet since I like the American History materials I'm using so much better than Ancients materials that are accessible to him right now.

 

At any rate, it seems like the grade you say will depend on your own approach, your little one's personality and perception of herself, and also the person you're talking to. For ex. part of the reason I'm homeschooling is that I don't want my children confounding their percentile IQs with their worth as persons and that plays into how I match the age to the grade. We live in an affluent, well-educated and sometimes smug community and Button's pediatrician gave me "feeling entitled" as the main [mental] health risk here :) so I don't think I'm off base. Other parents in other communities prob. have different concerns.