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s/o--Did you have big dreams?


Did you have big dreams?  

  1. 1. Did you have big dreams?

    • Yes
      83
    • No
      33
    • Other
      9


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Yes. Deep down, I knew I was destined for greatness -- more talented than most, and just somehow... charmed. I have no idea why I thought this except that I did well in school and did win a lot of competitions. I think it was college that took me down a lot of notches. I realized I wasn't such a big fish anymore, and I didn't have the work ethic or drive to be on top. I went the "relationship" road instead... lots of friends, socializing, met my dh, got married, had kids. But sometimes I think I'm still confused that I didn't turn out "great."

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Yes! I am the one pining away on that other thread! I think it must be a 40-something kinda thing, but I'm finding myself trying to come to terms with my big dreams and the reality of the life I have actually chosen to live.

 

I thought I was going to do something "really special" and in a "big way". I'm having to re-define what these terms mean to me. Those dreams are not going down without a fight! :glare: Kwim?

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I was told to have big dreams-- the whole notion was force fed to me-- career, money, academic success. But all I wanted to do or be, was be a mommy! From the time I was a little kid I just wanted to be a housewife with lots of kids. I did what was expected of me, did well in school, got through college, but in grad school I just snapped and couldn't do it anymore. Thankfully around that time I met DH and finally got my "real" dream. :001_smile:

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I chose other because my definition of big dreams may not be the same as somebody else's. For instance, when I was a kid - I dreamed about getting married with all my family there, having kids, buying a house, going to Disney World, etc. Those were big dreams for me. Somebody else may be dreaming of singing on Broadway or playing in the NFL.

 

My big dreams came true and then some. It is all in your perspective.

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I voted other. They weren't huge dreams, but they were way out of reach for me. No one I knew did these jobs, we had no internet in the 80s to find those that were, and my parents never encouraged me to pursue them.

 

I assumed that these goals were things other people did, not me. I let fear stop me. By the time I realized the goals of my 14 year old self were still in my heart, I was entrenched in the status quo of life.

 

Looking back I would have pursued some of these things in my 20s, with dh in tow. Cancer through me off one year, pregnancy, and financial issues stopped me in others.

 

I do believe I would have been good at what I wanted to do. I think I was one of those kids that knew what they really wanted to do, but thought those goals would change as I got older. They didn't.

 

Many of these goals I'm too old to pursue. A few of them I'm working on now, at age 44. I'm not really bitter, I'm disappointed, mostly in myself.

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I chose other because my definition of big dreams may not be the same as somebody else's. For instance, when I was a kid - I dreamed about getting married with all my family there, having kids, buying a house, going to Disney World, etc. Those were big dreams for me. Somebody else may be dreaming of singing on Broadway or playing in the NFL.

 

My big dreams came true and then some. It is all in your perspective.

 

You wrote what I was thinking. My dreams came true. It hasn't been a bed of roses, but that's life. I have a wonderful dh and children. I have about everything I ever wished for.

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I had awesome big dreams and no I am not/have not lived a single one of them. I am a SAHM of 3 kids in a town hate, away from my family, and very little friends. Nothing like I had planned. Dropping out of college and having kids and getting married at 24 were not in my plans. Homeschooling was absolutely not in my plans.I am a disappointed in myself. I love my kids, I like homeschooling, but I do not love my life. My life is my family's life,not my own life, KWIM? My husband does what he loves and has a job he loves, and I try and do whatever I can for my kids and they are happy. There is no time and money for my dreams.

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I am living my dream! Growing up I wanted to be a wife and mom, I wanted to stay home with my kids, and I wanted to take vacations every year with my family. Those are not huge dreams, but they are mine and they came true. Getting married at 19 and having my first child at 21 while still in college was not part of my dream, but that worked out fine too. At one point I wanted to be a teacher, and that dream came true in a different form that I had planned, but I love teaching my children!

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My big dream was to work as a journalist for National Geographic and never stay in one place.

 

However, I made the choice to not do that once I realized that it would be difficult to raise a family and move around in dangerous areas.

 

So, I became a secondary school counselor and teacher and worked in the inner city for over 16 years before homeschooling.

 

I don't think that was a total failure. I loved what I did and felt I made a drop of difference in the world.

 

Dawn

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I had no dream beside being self supporting. By little steps I went further than I thought I would. I was the not-so-bright caboose in my family, and I was made fun of in school for years, so didn't hit adulthood with a sense of confidence at all.

 

I recall seeing a poster at work, one of those "couple in the sunset" posters from the 70s, with the caption "You measure a man by the size of his dreams". I looked at the psychologist whom was walking with and said, "My dream is to have the good sense and good luck to never have to live off my sister. What does that say about me?" and we both laughed.

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i never thought of the future much. i was a talented cellist and just kinda assumed that would be what my future held...of course, i was wrong. ;)

 

my 2 youngest kids are huge dreamers, and it's always struck me as strange. every day, at least 3 times a day per kid, i hear; 'when i grow up, i'm going to...insert big dream here' i've asked close friends if their kids do this, but i guess it's just my little weirdlings.

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Yes I had/have big dreams. I have had them for over 20 years. They are just now starting to be realized. One of the things that was important for me was to understand was that it was a long term dream.

 

I expect it will still be a long time, and I may never fully realize my dream, but it was never a do or die thing. I am living my life and not letting a dream get in the way of living. Does that make any sense?

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All I wanted was to be a mommy and stay home with my kids. I actually think that is a pretty big dream, not very many moms get to stay home with their kids. There was a time that I was scared that it wasn't going to happen. I wasn't going to meet "The One". Before dh, I was very in love with a guy that didn't want to have kids. We kept breaking up and then getting back together. I thought he would change his mind eventually- but I wasn't willing to risk not getting to have kids. But I found "The One" and his dreams were compatible with mine. (kids, homeschooling, family vacations, etc)

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I had big dreams. I did not succeed at the dreams I was vocal about (writing music for films). The older me questions the motives of the younger me for having those dreams. Were they mine? Or someone else's?

 

I have a new dream now. I want to write. Seven-yr old me had the same dream, but buried it for over 20 years in the pursuit of the other Big Dream.

 

While I am working a little every day toward my dream, I am also willing to wait for it. I have Very Important work to do around here first.

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I was offered a straight shot at a PhD program overseas when I was still an undergraduate. I was top of my field at the University and was honored by the Governor at a banquet.

 

Then in my senior year I got ill - the illness which morphed into what I've had for over 20 years. The next year I was sexually assaulted and was receiving nightly death threats. God changed my big dreams. I had to learn to trust God for all the tiny things that I had taken for granted before. I had to learn how to ask God for help to get through simple things like peeling a couple of carrots for dinner. I had to learn how to trust God when I was afraid to close my eyes at night.

 

But God gave me knew dreams that I didn't know that I had. He brought a man into my life who loves me and chose me when I was an invalid (at that time). He brought me two children after I was told that I could not have children. (Both marriage and children have been challenges as well as blessings.)

 

Last year I went through a time of depression because none of my big dreams and aspirations came to pass. I'm not the best housekeeper (see my Ugh thread from last night when people came to my extremely messy house). I'm not the best homeschooler (see my thread of my fears of messing up my kids education because of my illness). But I am a lot healthier than I was even a year ago. I don't know how God will ask me to trust Him this year - in another year of difficulty or in a year of prosperity, but I do know that He will provide me my dreams.

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I was offered a straight shot at a PhD program overseas when I was still an undergraduate. I was top of my field at the University and was honored by the Governor at a banquet.

 

Then in my senior year I got ill - the illness which morphed into what I've had for over 20 years. The next year I was sexually assaulted and was receiving nightly death threats. God changed my big dreams. I had to learn to trust God for all the tiny things that I had taken for granted before. I had to learn how to ask God for help to get through simple things like peeling a couple of carrots for dinner. I had to learn how to trust God when I was afraid to close my eyes at night.

 

But God gave me knew dreams that I didn't know that I had. He brought a man into my life who loves me and chose me when I was an invalid (at that time). He brought me two children after I was told that I could not have children. (Both marriage and children have been challenges as well as blessings.)

 

Last year I went through a time of depression because none of my big dreams and aspirations came to pass. I'm not the best housekeeper (see my Ugh thread from last night when people came to my extremely messy house). I'm not the best homeschooler (see my thread of my fears of messing up my kids education because of my illness). But I am a lot healthier than I was even a year ago. I don't know how God will ask me to trust Him this year - in another year of difficulty or in a year of prosperity, but I do know that He will provide me my dreams.

 

That's beautiful Jean.

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Huge dreams--and so far not working out very well. :glare:

 

I struggle in a big way because my closest friends have achieved the same dream and I don't want to be jealous. Jealousy stinks on so many levels, and I don't want to be that person.

 

Meanwhile, I plug away, wondering how long to stay committed before throwing in the proverbial towel.

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I had lots of dreams. They changed a lot as I went through school. I wanted to be a teacher, a vet, a doctor, a lawyer, a dancer, and actress...the only constant was that I wanted to be a wife and mom. In high school one of my best friends and I talked about opening a dance and theatre studio. We did that 4 years ago. It has been rough, but very rewarding! I love teaching dance!

 

Yes, I had big dreams. The most important came true and I did achieve one of dream careers.

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At 14 I wanted to be a mother and a teacher, teaching kids with reading difficulties.

 

I guess that's what I'm doing now - part of the time.

 

I've done lots of other things in the intervening 30 years. Law, MBA, CPA, product development (toys), accounting, finance, tax, international business, manufacturing, retail, real estate, world travel, lots of volunteer work . . . .

 

I am still going strong and may have more fun stuff ahead (though there are many times when I'd like to just pause).

 

No major regrets.

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I voted other- I had what might have been considered big dreams, but were doable for me (international economist or international lawyer). But I traded them in willingly and what is funny is that I ended up having something else I had also dreamed of- a certain type of life I am almost at- gardening, good works, reading, politics, nice house, nice car, etc, etc. I didn't dream of homeschooling (or even of having children until I was in my mid 20's) so that wasn't part of the deal. I thought the life I would have would come later than it will- I am transitioning and can fully devote my life to good works and the other things in slightly less than 4 years. I fell very blessed about this aspect of my life.

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I had big dreams. I graduated from high school intending to be a biology major and go on to get a masters in biochemistry in order to do medical research. I didn't want to have a family and only possibly to get married because I wanted a big career.

 

I did not achieve that dream. I switched to a math major in the middle of my freshman year (my math professor had a lot to do with that) with teaching certification. The education classes were so boring and doing nothing to prepare me to actually teach, that I got scared of being able to do it, and added business classes to my math degree and dropped the certification.

 

I found myself wanting to marry and have a family, but never really imagined having one without a career. I worked in finance before having kids and enjoyed it tremendously, but as soon as I got pregnant, I started feeling that I didn't want to leave the kids in daycare. We had no family in the area which didn't help anything.

 

I've not worked full time since I had my daugther and have only worked very part-time, mostly because of my math degree. I never imagined homeschooling, but I'm so glad we've done it.

 

I am far removed from the dream I had standing on the stage receiving my high school diploma at 18, but I have absolutely no regrets! I love my life, and it gets better all the time, not perfect, just better. I am doing what I feel God wanted for me instead of what I wanted for myself, and that gives me the greatest satisfaction of all.

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Yes, I had big dreams. I was going to be a writer for Rolling Stone magazine! Or at the very least, a well-known newspaper writer living in Colorado. (I was raised in Texas.)

 

I didn't finish college because I met and married my husband. I gave up that dream, but instead I have a hugely happy and satisfied marraige still 26 years later. That's pretty darn valuable! No regrets about THAT choice.

 

I will say that I am not completely happy without having a big dream/goal to work toward. I feel "on hold" right now, giving all my time and energy to my DD. I tried going back to college for a bit, but I can't manage that plus homeschooling. So as another poster mentioned, I will not sacrifice my DD's needs for my dream, if I have to make a choice.

 

When DD is older, though, I will be going back...for psychology! I want to be a counselor now.

 

I did make it to Colorado, though!

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In some ways my life now far exceeds anything I had imagined when I was younger. However, it looks nothing like I thought it would look. :001_smile:

 

I had not expected to love motherhood the way I have. I had a thrilling career which I enjoyed but it was not my life the way my family is my life.

 

I did acheive most of the education I wanted. I did not get a graduate degree but there is still more years left I hope.

 

Physically, hmmm, I had no idea that genetics and age were as evil and vicious as they turned out to be. :lol: I see more of my mom in myself then I had expected. In some ways that is good in others it is not. I have been encouraged of late to start back up fighting the good fight and trying to recover some health and energy. I am actually motivated more as an attempt to show my girls it can be done then I am for myself, so we'll see.

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From the time I was 12, I wanted to be the principal horn in a major orchestra. In my small hometown, I was a big deal. Talented, high-achiever, won lots of awards that I thought meant something. Then college hit me. Hard. And I think Janie Grace put it quite well.

 

Yes. Deep down, I knew I was destined for greatness -- more talented than most, and just somehow... charmed. I have no idea why I thought this except that I did well in school and did win a lot of competitions. I think it was college that took me down a lot of notches. I realized I wasn't such a big fish anymore, and I didn't have the work ethic or drive to be on top. I went the "relationship" road instead... lots of friends, socializing, met my dh, got married, had kids. But sometimes I think I'm still confused that I didn't turn out "great."

 

And a lot of times... Ok, most of the time, I still have resentment that I'm not doing what I want by any stretch of the imagination. I've found another creative outlet, and I've gotten a photography degree in the mean time.... I work at wedding and portrait photography on the weekends, stay home and school my kiddo during the day, and spend time with my husband (who loves his job and is living a very fulfilled sort of existence) and kids in the time between. I miss performing Every. Single. Day.

 

I had awesome big dreams and no I am not/have not lived a single one of them. I am a SAHM of 3 kids in a town hate, away from my family, and very little friends. Nothing like I had planned. Dropping out of college and having kids and getting married at 24 were not in my plans. Homeschooling was absolutely not in my plans.I am a disappointed in myself. I love my kids, I like homeschooling, but I do not love my life. My life is my family's life,not my own life, KWIM? My husband does what he loves and has a job he loves, and I try and do whatever I can for my kids and they are happy. There is no time and money for my dreams.

 

Yes. This.

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I never had very strong dreams or passions in high school. My main goal was to get some sort of college degree and get OUT of my very dysfunctional family. Eventually, with student loans, I managed both. I guess on the surface- stable marriage, nice neighborhood, two running cars, and only needing to work ocassionally- I've surpassed what my personal goals were at the time. There are things that I would like- more travel, spend time doing more charity work, etc.- that will just have to wait.

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Not sure I had big dreams. But during HS I moved from engineering due to math issues (long stroy) and into business, and more specifically financial markets. I aspired to enter a small segment of the industry. I did and through luck (a good friend tells me I created the luck) moved ahead.

 

I'm one of the very few that do exactly what I dreamed I would do.

 

That begs the question, should you beware of what you ask for?

 

Jim

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my 2 youngest kids are huge dreamers, and it's always struck me as strange. every day, at least 3 times a day per kid, i hear; 'when i grow up, i'm going to...insert big dream here' i've asked close friends if their kids do this, but i guess it's just my little weirdlings.

 

Yep, mine are like this too. My DD said to me one day 'I'm trying to figure out how to grow more arms so I can do all the things I want to' :001_huh::lol:

 

I was never really clear on my own dreams. I guess they were crushed nice and early and I never clarified new ones. I never had the confidence to pull off great things (still don't really), but now in my late 20's I have the mental clarity to see new, realistic, dreams and work for them - and I'm doing it, somewhat...

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When you were younger, did you have big dreams for yourself? Have you achieved them? If not, are you disappointed?

 

If you didn't--if you had "normal-sized" dreams--is your life what you expected?

 

Yes, I had crazy big dreams and worked hard to achieve some of them or work my way towards them.

 

But, as soon as I got hit with bipolar disorder, it has all changed. Those dreams have been halted. It is humbling.

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Sure I had big dreams. I always knew I would go to college but my parents pushed me to pursue a career that made lots of money. One week after being in classes for a financial degree, I hated every one of them and switched my major to education. I got to have a career for seven years, yay! But I was never able to get pregnant, no matter how many fertility drugs, tests, operations I had. But God's ways are not our ways. He sent us two precious children that I get the privilege of being a forever mommy to through adoption. My life is so blessed. We are always broke, have lots of debt, but I have a wonderful family and church. God provides for all my needs! I'm living a good life. We are healthy and happy:)

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I wanted to be a concert violinist, dazzling the world with my virtuosity. When I realised that my hands were too small to play much of the advanced violin repertoire, I was disappointed. But now? Not disappointed in the least. :) I love my family, homeschooling, living in a small town (although I do wish there was a professional symphony orchestra nearby). I feel my current lifestyle lets me to who I really am in a way my dreams wouldn't have allowed.

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