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I met "That Person" last night -- the HS-negative stranger!


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I thought those random strangers who feel free to dish out advice and tell you why homeschooling is wrong were a myth. Most of my experiences with people have been positive, and the few people who aren't totally on board with our decision usually keep their mouths shut. I get more of the quiet disapproval from them.

 

I met that person last night at a b-day party for my friend. A good friend of mine brought her -- she's his friend (and hopefully it won't develop into more than that because the woman was just plain nuts -- he calls her "Crazy Liz" and now I know why). When she found out I homeschool she whipped out all kinds of gems, like, "My friend has 4 kids and she homeschools. I tell her all the time that she's nuts. Her tax money already goes to the schools so she should just send them there. She IS a teacher though, so I guess she can handle it." Or this one, said in a very judgmental tone, "So has he EVER been to school or has he always been home?" When the discussion came around to math (friends asked how he was doing) and I talked about how much he struggles, she insisted that anyone can be good at math (um, DS has mild fetal alcohol effect which greatly impacts abstract thinking -- you know -- the type of thinking you need for subjects like MATH). I told her he will probably always struggle, and then she lectured me on how I need to find out what he's good at and praise him for it. Okay, like I don't talk up how well he reads and how much he loves history ALL the time. And of course I need someone I met only 5 minutes before telling me how to raise my kid :glare: Then she said, "I could never homeschool. I like having time to myself too much." I replied, "No, you probably couldn't then," and walked away. Ironically I had read that huge thread about all the stupid homeschooling comments everyone had gotten just that morning, so while I was astonished I met someone with that much gall, at least I was prepared :D

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I replied, "No, you probably couldn't then," and walked away.

 

Perfect! :D

 

I used to think the best way to deal with these folks was to engage and educate. Took me a LONG time to realize they don't want to have the right answer, they want to BE right. Big difference. Sounds like you've learned the lesson much quicker then I did. :)

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Then she said, "I could never homeschool. I like having time to myself too much." I replied, "No, you probably couldn't then," and walked away.

She should probably avoid having children, as well... and any other relationship where she has some sort of obligation to other beings. Plants would probably be ok, though.

 

Perfect! :D

 

I used to think the best way to deal with these folks was to engage and educate. Took me a LONG time to realize they don't want to have the right answer, they want to BE right. Big difference. Sounds like you've learned the lesson much quicker then I did. :)

 

Yeah, that took me a while to identify, too.

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I found the whole experience both funny and sad at the same time. And yes, she has a child -- a boy my son's age. I only hope it stays "just friends" between her and my good friend. He's a whackadoodle magnet! I don't know where he finds these women!

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I used to think the best way to deal with these folks was to engage and educate. Took me a LONG time to realize they don't want to have the right answer, they want to BE right. Big difference. Sounds like you've learned the lesson much quicker then I did. :)

 

Oh yes. And not just about HSing either. One acquaintance of mine (I don't think we'll ever really be friendly) just has to be right all the time... science proves this.... statistics prove that.... :banghead:

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IThen she said, "I could never homeschool. I like having time to myself too much." I replied, "No, you probably couldn't then," and walked away.
She should probably avoid having children, as well.
Errr...surely the two of you don't believe that people who like/love/want/need a lot of alone time shouldn't homeschool or have children. I'm proof positive that's not true, fwiw.
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A close friend of mine had never had a bad experience with someone who was negative about homeschooling. I've had several incidents(which she has heard all about!), and she was shocked when it happened to her.

 

I can't IMAGINE going up to someone and saying that type of thing about their child in public school. I literally think it's none of my business. I still can't fathom why there are times people don't think I deserve the same respect.

 

I have learned to say, "It's not for everyone." and either walk away or change the subject.

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Errr...surely the two of you don't believe that people who like/love/want/need a lot of alone time shouldn't homeschool or have children. I'm proof positive that's not true, fwiw.

 

I think you're reading too much into what is being said. This isn't about you -- it's about an obnoxiously rude person I met casually at a party and I was searching for the quickest, most polite way of bowing out of the conversation before I truly became angry and I told her to mind her (fill in the blank) business, which would not have been appropriate due to the setting. She said she could never homeschool because she likes her alone time too much. I simply agreed with her and walked away.

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A know-it-all-a**hole. :D

 

She probably has strong yet poorly informed opinions on a plethora of subjects.

 

 

I thought those random strangers who feel free to dish out advice and tell you why homeschooling is wrong were a myth. Most of my experiences with people have been positive, and the few people who aren't totally on board with our decision usually keep their mouths shut. I get more of the quiet disapproval from them.

 

I met that person last night at a b-day party for my friend. A good friend of mine brought her -- she's his friend (and hopefully it won't develop into more than that because the woman was just plain nuts -- he calls her "Crazy Liz" and now I know why). When she found out I homeschool she whipped out all kinds of gems, like, "My friend has 4 kids and she homeschools. I tell her all the time that she's nuts. Her tax money already goes to the schools so she should just send them there. She IS a teacher though, so I guess she can handle it." Or this one, said in a very judgmental tone, "So has he EVER been to school or has he always been home?" When the discussion came around to math (friends asked how he was doing) and I talked about how much he struggles, she insisted that anyone can be good at math (um, DS has mild fetal alcohol effect which greatly impacts abstract thinking -- you know -- the type of thinking you need for subjects like MATH). I told her he will probably always struggle, and then she lectured me on how I need to find out what he's good at and praise him for it. Okay, like I don't talk up how well he reads and how much he loves history ALL the time. And of course I need someone I met only 5 minutes before telling me how to raise my kid :glare: Then she said, "I could never homeschool. I like having time to myself too much." I replied, "No, you probably couldn't then," and walked away. Ironically I had read that huge thread about all the stupid homeschooling comments everyone had gotten just that morning, so while I was astonished I met someone with that much gall, at least I was prepared :D

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Am I the only one who has not encountered "that person"?

I have not even been met with quiet, but obvious, disapproval.

Am I living in a bubble?

 

If you are, I was living in that bubble until last night. I've never had that happen before.

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Am I the only one who has not encountered "that person"?

I have not even been met with quiet, but obvious, disapproval.

Am I living in a bubble?

No, you're not the only one. I often wonder why some people (not the original poster, in this case) seem to receive all manner of negative feedback about homeschooling while others don't. Is it just a matter of the people one encounters, or are there other factors, too? I think the latter.
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1. See??? We were not making it up! ;)

 

2. I think you gave her too much ammo. Every comment of yours opened the door for her to share her opinion or solution. But I am cynical. Clearly, you are much sweeter than I am.

 

3. A friend of mine taught me this quote. I wish I knew its author:

 

"To those who would understand, no explanation is necessary. To those who would not, none would suffice. "

 

Crazy indeed!!!

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Nah, not really. Just responding in a rabbit trail sorta fashion. Fwiw, I didn't find the woman's comments that outrageous, but I grant I'm not easily offended.

 

I'm not super-easily offended, but it was more the manner she was asking them. She was very aggressive and confrontational, which I can take from someone I know and give it back to them, but it was totally out of line from a stranger.

 

Strangely, the men at the party didn't find her nuts, but none of the women liked her. She managed to offend or irritate each of us in turn. The friend who brought her warned me I wouldn't like her. He talks about her a lot so I've wanted to meet her for awhile. He told me I wouldn't like her because she's opinionated, catty, and judges people immediately on how they look and what they wear. Man, was he right!

 

Oh, and fwiw, I like my alone time too. I think most of us need some time alone (and most of us probably need more time alone than we get!!!!!) but she wasn't one who wanted to be convinced she could homeschool -- she wanted to be right.

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A know-it-all-a**hole. :D

 

She probably has strong yet poorly informed opinions on a plethora of subjects.

 

Yep. I don't care what this kind of person thinks, but I am taken aback at how rude this person is to assume that I do care. It is a poor display of manners.

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Yep. I don't care what this kind of person thinks, but I am taken aback at how rude this person is to assume that I do care. It is a poor display of manners.

 

Perhaps they weren't properly socialized in their youth. Maybe their institutionalized schooling experience didn't prepare them for functioning in a social environment. :D

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Enjoy your bubble. :D Someone will come along sooner or later and burst it.

 

Oh, I don't know. We're starting our 12th year of homeschooling, and I've never had anyone be negative.

 

Concerned? Sure.

 

Curious? Absolutely.

 

But negative? Nope.

 

What surprises me most is how many moms will say something along the lines of, "I couldn't stand to be around my children all day." :001_huh:

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Am I the only one who has not encountered "that person"?

I have not even been met with quiet, but obvious, disapproval.

Am I living in a bubble?

 

I don't think most elementary or high school teachers have doctorate degrees in Physics which may explain why you are insulated :D.

 

I did have someone ask me how I know whether I'm qualified to teach math. If anyone has a witty answer, let me know.

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I don't think most elementary or high school teachers have doctorate degrees in Physics which may explain why you are insulated :D.

 

I did have someone ask me how I know whether I'm qualified to teach math. If anyone has a witty answer, let me know.

 

How about, "I don't know, but I guess we'll find out, won't we?" :tongue_smilie:

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