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Dd is on a volleyball team. Today they had a huge scrimmage game. They played a total of 6 games. Dd is new to the game but does well and tries extremely hard. She was put in the first game until the middle of the game. Next game she subbed for about 6 mins. That was it for her playing time. There were two girls on the team that would call the ball, stand there and just look at it as it hit the floor and then look around like "what just happened?" Really!?! These two played every game! Of course the "favorites" that played every game. There are only 15 girls on this team.

 

Now Moving on to the last game..our team won that game by 25-1. Come on why weren't the inexperienced girls..even if they should be called that..,able to play in that game??? The coach..assistant coach actual..main coach wasn't there...asked to play the last team again to break the tie...only two games per team for this scrimmage, normally 3 in a real game. He was told no since they had to clean up the gym.

 

Now this " assistant coach" is a father to one of the girls who played 5.5 games subbed for a half of game. The actual coach does not have kids on the team. I don't know his reason for not being there.

We have been told by coach and this assistant that my dd is doing WONDERFUL and that she is an assets to the team

 

I was furious when we left, I sat for 6 hrs..9:30-3:30..on very hard bleachers for nothing. We could have went home at 10:30, after the first game.

 

Now my dd tells me on the way home that a parent asked the assistant coach why his dd was not getting more playing time and he told him that she needed more practice. Dd said that he told his dd what the coach said..this girl was heart broken, my dd very upset. Don't tell these girl that they are doing great and then crush them at a game!

 

Also that one of the "what just happened" girls doesn't even want to play, that her mother is forcing her. WHAT!!! Now I am even more furious!

 

My dd said she is going to talk to the main coach on Monday about the

situation. I told her that was up to her and if she felt that I needed to say something that I would..which I feel like I should.

 

There are 3 games that are over an hour drive for us, I am seriously thinking if we stay with this team that we won't go. I will be livid if she does play after an hours drive and then a longer drive home due to rush hour traffic.

 

 

I really appreciate if you made it to the end of my rant!

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That is extremely frustrating! I can't blame you for being upset. First of all, if these were just scrimmages, then she should have played. The best way to practice is in a game situation. So the excuse that they "need more practice" is bogus, imo.

 

I admire your dd for expressing interest in talking to the main coach about it. That's a great idea.

 

I hope that things will work out for her on this team, and that the rest of the season will not be like today was.

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been there....done that.....

 

It's best if your dd will talk to the main coach about it. Though you can expect she will hear something along the lines of "assistant coach XXX played the players who were the most ready, best players, blah blah blah". It's the pits when they have a big tournament like that and can't/won't get everyone some play time.

 

You have to decide for yourself if it's worth driving an hour to support your daughter even if she only plays minimal time. My DD had a similiar year one year when she played softball. Minimal to no play time. But she wanted to play and so I sat on the bleachers game after game and watched her cheer on her team from the bench. Drove me nuts, but it really mattered to DD that she had someone there to cheer for her, so I did it.

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We are in that exact situation right now, only with football. My DS plays on a team that has a middle school team (where he plays) and a high school team. It is a team for homeschoolers and private schoolers whose school does not offer football.

We had to pay for all the equipment, registration fees, cleats, exam...in total $450.

 

We drive 50 minutes each way for practice, 3-4 days a week, and the sit at practice for 2 hours. Average of $60 a week for gas.

 

Games every Friday or Saturday...gas to get there, and $10 to get in. Away games will be 1-2 hour drive, and admission fee. Having to skip younger DS's activities that day due to having to go out of town for the football game.

 

My point:

DS plays, 2-3 plays PER game (which means about 2 minutes on the field), in the last 3 minutes, when they start throwing all 20-25 players who have not played yet into the game. No rhyme or reason what position they play, just get in, then get out so they can get the next guy in. Put into positions they have not practiced.

 

My DS has played football with other teams, Pop Warner type league, for 3 years. He knows football. I know he may not be the BEST, but certainly he is better than this.

 

As an adult, I GET that those players who are playing most of the game are the older, better players, had to "pay their dues" and probably spent a few years on the sidelines. I understand and tell my son that he just has to work harder, to show the coach what he has, and his time will come.

 

But somehow, in my own mind, I doubt it. How can the "bench warmers" ever get better when they get less attention at practice, and less game time?

 

And then today, this really got my goat!! Our team won, 19-0 (yes, and my son still only got 3 plays in the last 3 minutes). So they announce they will have a "5th quarter" so the 2nd/3rd string players will play here (scoring does not count toward actual game). Great, I am thinking, he might actually get to be on the field. NOO, they only use what is called the "Scout Team", which is the younger, never played before boys, ie 6th/7th graders. Keep in mind, these Scout Team boys are part of the 20-25 that get thrown in the last 3-5 minutes of the game, so they get the 2-3 plays that my son gets. But now they got a full quarter on the field.

 

So let's see...starting team gets about 90% of game time...2nd string gets 2-3 plays, and now Scout Team gets a full quarter. At this point, the Scout Team (which is technically the lowest position on the team) has seen more actual "game time" then my son, who is considered 2nd string.

 

My son is handling it well....I am personally FRUSTRATED though!!!!!!!

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Dd is on a volleyball team.

What kind of league? Are expectations for playing time outlined in a policy when you sign up? We play in a competitive league where nobody is guaranteed playing time.

There are only 15 girls on this team.

That is a lot of girls on one team. Were they scrimmaging against another team or within their own team?

 

Now Moving on to the last game..our team won that game by 25-1. Come on why weren't the inexperienced girls..even if they should be called that..,able to play in that game???

Definitely bad form for the coach. If he is a good sport, he would put in the less experienced players so they could get playing time and so not to demoralize the other team.

 

My dd said she is going to talk to the main coach on Monday about the

situation. I told her that was up to her and if she felt that I needed to say something that I would..which I feel like I should.

Good for her that she is willing to deal with it. I would definitely talk to the coach myself. Communication is the best policy.

 

There are 3 games that are over an hour drive for us, I am seriously thinking if we stay with this team that we won't go. I will be livid if she does play after an hours drive and then a longer drive home due to rush hour traffic.

Tough call to make here. I guess it would depend on how conversation went with coach.

 

 

 

Try not to be too discouraged. Maybe things will be different when the head coach is there.

Joy

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How old is your DD? What kind of league is it (rec/club/school (level)/etc.)?

 

In lower rec leagues, equal playing time is extremely important and is usually outlines as part of the expectations when signing up for those leagues. In higher level/more competitive leagues, there is no guarantee of playing time, at all. It is all up to the coach and is just part of the sport. I do respect coaches more that do try to get more players some game time and develop less-skilled players in practice, but realistically I do not expect kids to play just because they are on the team (at the competitive levels). That is also when the player and family have to decide if they are willing to continue the commitment knowing they may not see much game time and look for ways to improve skill wise so the player does get more game time, or choose to pursue a different activity.

 

I also have a hard time reading too much into the assistant coach's motives. If the head coach wasn't there, it is hard to know how well prepared the assistant was for coaching alone, how well he knew all the girls and how much input he has had in coaching decisions when the head coach is present. He also may not do things the way the head coach does and it will be better when he is back in charge.

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Been there-done that with football. And the sad part is my child seeks me for explanation or to rectify the problem. I have had it up to HERE with these coaches coaching their children and showing obvious favoritism. We have all payed our money to watch our kids PLAY. The leagues we join are rec. leagues not travel leagues, which you need to tryout for and are more competitive, so I want to see my kids play.

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My dd asked me to go ahead and call the coach, so I did. He just returned my call and he sounded annoyed that I even called. When I answered he said this is so-n-so. I said how are you? He answered fine. I then told him that I wanted to talk with him about the game on Sat. I asked what exactly was the games for and he said it was a tournament for the beginning of the season..what ever that meant. Then he asked if I was upset that my dd did not get enough playing time. I told him well she only played 30mins and we could have left an hour after we got there. Also that the very last game was won 25-1 or 2 I can't remember now and it seemed that my dd along with the other inexperienced players should have played in that game at least. I also mentioned that my dd was upset about her teammate that was told she needed more practice that was the reason why she couldn't play.

 

He then told me that he would have to talk with the assistant coach and that he was on vacation with his wife that they were celebrating their anniversary.

I told him that I was sorry that I did not know that he was on vacation and that I could talk with him later about the situation. He then told me that he knew what the problem was and would talk with the coach..what!?! He only understand that my dd did not play very long, he didn't even seem to care about the child that was told that she wasn't good enough. I am so fed up with this team that I am ready to drop it before they asked me to pay..all they have said is the price will be between this $$ or that $$.

 

BTW this is a private school. Also, dd has raised the money this summer to cover the fees to join the team and is now trying to figure out if she wants to be on the team or spend the money on other things. We are so confused as to what to do.

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