AlmiraGulch Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 I hate everything about it. For my DD15, that is. I finished high school about 104 years ago. I finished college. I finished graduate school. Never in my life did my parents even know what classes I was taking until they saw my report cards. It wasn't their job to hover over me to make sure I did my work. I just did it. Because that's what teens and adults do. They're not 8. My kid does not and will not do it without my hovering. Even then, she only does a half *ss job. She doesn't care. She had to submit something about herself to her American Lit teacher today. One of the questions was "what would you change about yourself if you could?" She said "I would be less lazy and indifferent." :001_huh: HOW am I supposed to battle that? I can't do her work for her. I can't be her conscience for her. I can't make her care about something she doesn't care about. Then again, I can't abandon her, either. I just don't know what to do anymore. I resent her. There. I said it. Someone call the Mother of the Year people and tell them to remove me from consideration, because I REALLY don't like my own child when it comes to this stuff. Who was it that posted they're having a drink at 1:48 in the afternoon? Yeah...I'm about to be right there with you. Ok, rant over. Thanks for playing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Is there a way to let her fall really hard, but not totally destroy herself? Sorry, I am not much help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChemMommy Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I'm so sorry you're having to deal with a child like this! Vent away!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted August 22, 2011 Author Share Posted August 22, 2011 Is there a way to let her fall really hard, but not totally destroy herself? Sorry, I am not much help! Yes, but since she doesn't respond like normal people to natural consequences (re: she doesn't care) it doesn't do much good. Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 What I would do, if it were my child, is I would tell her how much I love her and that that's why I need to do my best to fix her attitude of not caring. I would show her exactly what her life will be like if she is indifferent to school and work etc. I wouldn't go about it angrily. It would just be, "Well, this is how it is." I would set up a portion of my home, probably a bedroom and a bathroom, as a crappy apartment, give her a mattress to sleep on with an old blanket, and old, worn out clothes. I would give her monopoly money that isn't enough to pay me for utilities and nice food. When her buying cheap food made it so she couldn't pay me for her electricity, I would remove the lightbulbs from her "apartment". I betcha after a month or two living on ramen and fumbling in the dark to get around after the sun goes down, she'll care more. I don't even think that makes me a mean mother. It'd get this out of her system now so she doesn't really screw up later. They did something similar on the Cosby Show with Theo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pageta Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Maybe let her choose more of her curriculum? If you chose your classes and your parents didn't know what you did until they saw your grades, maybe she's ready to choose her curriculum. Maybe she would pick out things that she is interested in and excited about doing. You could name the courses she needs to take (math, science, English, and so many electives) and she could fill in the blanks and pick which literature she wants to study, which math curriculum/class she wants to do, which science she wants to study (and the curriculum), etc. I know there are self-directed students over on the HS/Self-Education board. You just need to oversee and approve of what she does and make sure she's staying on track with the plan you approved. Just a thought... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrissySC Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 It sounds cliche, but be positive. http://www.positivediscipline.com/articles/teenmotivation.html This is one of those links that pertains to subject matter that I read years ago with my last. I still have to remember to implement this now that she is 20 (and weird and whacky imo, LOL). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 :grouphug: My dd is exactly the same. It is so very frustrating. We've tried everything. The only thing that has helped is Ritalin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdrumm4448 Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 The drink at 1:48 in the afternoon was me. DS is now banished to his room, all remaining schoolwork rescheduled. DD is quietly playing. My kids are young. I cannot think about the teen years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 I resent her. There. I said it. Someone call the Mother of the Year people and tell them to remove me from consideration, because I REALLY don't like my own child when it comes to this stuff. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Don't beat yourself up too hard. I know how it feels. Have you had her evaluated for attention deficit? Or for depression? Your dd sounds a lot like my eldest who struggles with both issues and who has been quite challenged (and challenging) this past year. If the attention issues make it hard to focus and she's got even mild depression, it can create a feeling of "Why bother?" It sounds like your dd is aware that this is a challenge for her and would like it to change. That's actually good news. I'd at least get her in to the doctor to have some bloodwork (thyroid, iron, etc.) to rule out physical causes. And :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: It is so hard to love them so much and see how capable and wonderful they are...and feel like they are flushing it down the toilet. I wish I had some great advice. Hang in there. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mothersweets Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 I'm right there with you. Although it is mostly my 13yo and 10yo that are a joy to be around <insert sarcasm here>. My 15yo is pretty human at this point. My older kids were just talking the other day of how 13-15 is a really cr*ppy age to be. For some reason I don't remember my olders being so frustrating - perhaps I had to blank it all out in order to survive? Just wanted to say that you're not alone. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natalieclare Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Have you read The Teenage Liberation Handbook? Has she? We haven't chosen the same route as the author, but we did benefit from the discussions that resulted from reading the book. And I second the recommendations for ruling out depression, thyroid conditions, anemia, and ADD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mona100 Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 I have a 15 yr daughter who is very similar. She has told me that she is not an overachiever and will never be so I should just stop trying to teach her all this stuff. Plus she told me that she is very happy with her life because she doesn't expect much so she won't have to worry about being disappointed. Drives me crazy. I see you are in Atlanta OP. I am in Birmingham. Let's get the girls and drop them off in Anniston and let them live together to see how the real world will treat their indifference. My only hope is when my daugher gets a job, which thankfully she wants, she will realize that she needs to pay attention to school now versus later. Anyways, I feel your pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Isn't it a normal phase for girls to go through at that age? I remember I did. Eventually I got fed up with my own apathy and bullied myself into some inspiration. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HayesW Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 I was "lazy and indifferent." I only did things when I was in high school because I was scared of the punishment. Then I went to college and took a nosedive. I started seeing a shrink. After a month of testing of all kinds, he diagnosed me with ADHD. I read the description and it was me. I felt so much better. After college, I quit taking meds for my ADD, due to pregnancy and breastfeeding. After a 15 year hiatus, I just began taking meds again. I feel like a person. Before, I truly couldn't FATHOM how people completed tasks or got things finished. Now that my brain chemistry is corrected, I am a much better functioning adult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: My oldest dd is a wonderful girl who loves learning and has many passions but increasingly didn't like "school." So, in a move that I could never have predicted (and for more reasons than just this one, but it's a long story), we had her take the CHSPE (exit exam for CA high schoolers). She hadn't completed all of her credits, but she took it anyway. She passed it, the peace in our household skyrocketed, and now she is doing what she has done all along - learning on her own terms, aware of what she needs to do should she want to pursue education beyond a CC, becoming more independent and exploring her options. I thought for a long time that this was "giving up." Maybe in some eyes it was. But for us and for her, it was the right thing. Just offering our experience in a nutshell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 What does she care about? What does she like to do? What matters to her? Is there a way to use those things as rewards to help spur her to do what she needs to do? If nothing at all matters to her, then I think I'd be worried about some underlying disorder.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black_midori Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 What I would do, if it were my child, is I would tell her how much I love her and that that's why I need to do my best to fix her attitude of not caring. I would show her exactly what her life will be like if she is indifferent to school and work etc. I wouldn't go about it angrily. It would just be, "Well, this is how it is." I would set up a portion of my home, probably a bedroom and a bathroom, as a crappy apartment, give her a mattress to sleep on with an old blanket, and old, worn out clothes. I would give her monopoly money that isn't enough to pay me for utilities and nice food. When her buying cheap food made it so she couldn't pay me for her electricity, I would remove the lightbulbs from her "apartment". I betcha after a month or two living on ramen and fumbling in the dark to get around after the sun goes down, she'll care more. I don't even think that makes me a mean mother. It'd get this out of her system now so she doesn't really screw up later. They did something similar on the Cosby Show with Theo. LOVE this! Ok... Is it sad that I read this and REALLY wanted my 7yo to be 15 & grumpy so that I could make him live in the garage??:D Seriously - I even thought "oh, we need to add xyz... but NO - not if our new tenant doesn't have the money from a good job at school to pay for it!!":lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I have a friend (now in her 50s) who told her mother she did not want to finish high school or go to college. My friend's mother said, that is ok, I got you a job in the artificial flower factory down the street. After a year in the artificial flower factory, she found a desire to finish high school and go to college so she could get a job that was not manufacturing artificial flowers. :D I know parents more recently who have had the same results with farm or fast food type work. What is she passionate about? Anything? Could she do an internship or volunteer job to start trying to find something that she does care about? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 My kids are young. I cannot think about the teen years. I may make this my new sig line. QValencia, :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I fear those days. My oldest may not give me that trouble, but I suspect my youngest will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Ditto, with my Aspie ds15. It's 8:30pm and he's only done half of his schoolwork. **We're having problems with his sleeping. **Math is the only subject that he has that doesn't schedule significant writing assignments. **He just finished a Biology research paper that was supposed to be finished on Friday. The problem was it was 2.5 pages long and it should have been at least a full 3 pages long. He was mad that such an arbitrary rule was in place. He had to calm down from that before he could go back in and fluff it up. **He is supposed to start the World History paper today. The subject is difficult. We have no idea how to even begin. **Our anxiety levels, yes, both of us, are so high it's crazy. **He's only in 4 classes and it's so overwhelming that I think we should drop a class, but DH won't even hear of it. **He prefers me to be sitting with him for all of his schoolwork. He has done some work independently, but the majority of it seems to require my presence even when I'm just sitting there reading my own book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 My kids are young. I cannot think about the teen years. I am literally trembling in my shoes. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 They did something similar on the Cosby Show with Theo. That was for one day, and the parents went to his room in the evening with a picnic basket full of food. OP: Is this your dd that has Aspergers? That plays a significant factor in why she is doing this and how to handle it. I'm not saying I know the answer, but hard life with little clothing or food is not going to have the same effect as on an NT child, IMHO. Just something to consider. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annabel Lee Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 (edited) You guys are scaring me. My dd did things backwards - rotten attitude & behavioral issues (some were her brain chemistry) in the early years, and so far (knock on wood) it's been smooth sailing for the teen years. She prepared me well, too well, for the teen years. Fast forward to today, our 1st day of school for the new year. Ds10 was the easiest baby & then most agreeable child... but lately he has a similar attitude (on a 10-yr old level) to the OP's child. For our first day, I had light, fun stuff prepared. For writing, he was to make a memory page telling a bit about himself. It was the usual "My favorite subject is_____, This year I want to learn____, My favorite color is ____, When I grow up I'd like to ____, ..." He has always enjoyed this in the past, but today he would only put forth minimal effort after I got onto him about following directions. He wrote that he wants to learn nothing and he doesn't want to be anything when he grows up. When his logic was challenged, he said he'll just live in a cabin that he builds out of trees and eat wild blueberries (no need for a job since the "lumber" to build with is free and there's food growing in the tundra, he figures). Basically, he aspires to be jobless, but he thinks he can take care of himself & have a home without an education and not be on the streets. And here I am trying to push an above-average education on him. How contrary is that!? We've got A LOT of work to do in the character training dept. before any heavy-duty learning can be accomplished. The struggle through a FLL dictation today took 3x as long as it should have, and he still left out a clause and the capitalization & spelling were bad in the final product. His hand hurt, a new problem he's never complained of before, after penmanship. He was in tears with his face buried in the couch many times and I had to coax him out gently or it would just take longer to get back on track. You mean it gets worse than this? I'm having a drink with the PP. Then I have to go get school ready for tomorrow. It's hard to have the energy to try to inspire them when they are like this. ETA: On the Cosby Show, Theo broke w/in a day. I've known children who can outlast common sense, proper hygiene, hunger, comfort, etc. just to prove their point. Eeek. Edited August 23, 2011 by Annabel Lee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 The problem probably will resolve itself whenever she finds her passion in life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 What I would do, if it were my child, is I would tell her how much I love her and that that's why I need to do my best to fix her attitude of not caring. I would show her exactly what her life will be like if she is indifferent to school and work etc. I wouldn't go about it angrily. It would just be, "Well, this is how it is." I would set up a portion of my home, probably a bedroom and a bathroom, as a crappy apartment, give her a mattress to sleep on with an old blanket, and old, worn out clothes. I would give her monopoly money that isn't enough to pay me for utilities and nice food. When her buying cheap food made it so she couldn't pay me for her electricity, I would remove the lightbulbs from her "apartment". I betcha after a month or two living on ramen and fumbling in the dark to get around after the sun goes down, she'll care more. I don't even think that makes me a mean mother. It'd get this out of her system now so she doesn't really screw up later. They did something similar on the Cosby Show with Theo. I like it. Planning in place... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 Thank you to everyone for your words and advice. A couple of things....I remember that she was diagnosed with ADHD in (I think) 2nd grade. We tried a few different medications and some behavioral therapies but it seemd to make it worse. We quit that and then she was properly diagnosed with Asperger's years later. BUT...I wonder if ADHD is still a secondary disorder? Maybe a trip to the doc would be a good next step. Also, the normal reward and punishment stuff doesn't really work for her. She doesn't have a passion for anything except fan fiction, and I already took that away. She does have a homeschool arts enrichment program she loves, but I HATE to take that away. It's her primary source of social interaction, she loves the interaction and what she's learning and it gets her out of the house. I consider it a basic life skill. Then again, so is learning to follow directions and doing stuff you don't want to do. I'm still wrestling with that. Anyway, today was awful. Just abysmal. I'm not proud of my behavior and I actually just left the house for a few hours to go try to calm myself, and so I didn't kill my kid. I ended up having a sobbing fit in the middle of the Target parking lot. I'm sure everyone thought I should have been medicated! Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. It is comforting knowing I'm not the only one, because it does feel VERY lonely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parker Martin Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 She'll probably turn out just fine. Teenagers go through phases. And hey, maybe she's an independent minded girl and not a hoop jumper. She could do amazing things with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Yes, but since she doesn't respond like normal people to natural consequences (re: she doesn't care) it doesn't do much good. Sigh. I didn't realize she was an aspie when I replied. :grouphug: I think going to see the Dr. again is great idea!!! It obviously isn't very fun for her to be this blase' either. :crying: Poor girl and poor mom! I have the opposite extreme. Ds with adhd and impulse control. Too much caring and doing. :willy_nilly: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Anyway, today was awful. Just abysmal. I'm not proud of my behavior and I actually just left the house for a few hours to go try to calm myself, and so I didn't kill my kid. I ended up having a sobbing fit in the middle of the Target parking lot. I'm sure everyone thought I should have been medicated! Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. It is comforting knowing I'm not the only one, because it does feel VERY lonely. Oh, honey. I too have been the mom sobbing in the parking lot. The Target parking lot, even. My second dd has an HFA diagnosis. It can be so difficult for our Asperger's/autism girls in the teen years. I am near a university where there are studies going on right onw on *girls* on the spectrum. Many many girls on the spectrum struggle with depression and anxiety in their teen years. I'm not saying it's the case with your dd, but it could certainly be a factor for her. People with Asperger's can also struggle with attention deficit as well. I am a part of a group for mom's of girls on the spectrum, and many of our girls have attention issues. More :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:. Supposedly it gets better as they hit late teens. I'm crossing my fingers and toes on that one. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeidiKC Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I would set up a portion of my home, probably a bedroom and a bathroom, as a crappy apartment, give her a mattress to sleep on with an old blanket, and old, worn out clothes. I would give her monopoly money that isn't enough to pay me for utilities and nice food. When her buying cheap food made it so she couldn't pay me for her electricity, I would remove the lightbulbs from her "apartment". I betcha after a month or two living on ramen and fumbling in the dark to get around after the sun goes down, she'll care more.. Ok, I know this thread isn't about humor...but this post CRACKS ME UP! And it's a GREAT idea! Has anyone tried anything like this? I love it! And OP... I feel your pain, although I only have an 11yo. I am sorry for what you're dealing with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 What I would do, if it were my child, is I would tell her how much I love her and that that's why I need to do my best to fix her attitude of not caring. I would show her exactly what her life will be like if she is indifferent to school and work etc. I wouldn't go about it angrily. It would just be, "Well, this is how it is." I would set up a portion of my home, probably a bedroom and a bathroom, as a crappy apartment, give her a mattress to sleep on with an old blanket, and old, worn out clothes. I would give her monopoly money that isn't enough to pay me for utilities and nice food. When her buying cheap food made it so she couldn't pay me for her electricity, I would remove the lightbulbs from her "apartment". I betcha after a month or two living on ramen and fumbling in the dark to get around after the sun goes down, she'll care more. I don't even think that makes me a mean mother. It'd get this out of her system now so she doesn't really screw up later. They did something similar on the Cosby Show with Theo. …if she's got a stubborn streak, that might very well turn into a 'who can last the longest' contest.. I know it would have for me! [still would LOL] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 …if she's got a stubborn streak, that might very well turn into a 'who can last the longest' contest.. I know it would have for me! [still would LOL] That would have been me, and then I would have been hoping that CPS came, too. But I'm not aspie and I have a stubborn streak as long as the twirling earth. Anyhow, no, not the way I would treat an aspie who was emotionally tender. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 (edited) Thank you to everyone for your words and advice. A couple of things....I remember that she was diagnosed with ADHD in (I think) 2nd grade. We tried a few different medications and some behavioral therapies but it seemd to make it worse. We quit that and then she was properly diagnosed with Asperger's years later. BUT...I wonder if ADHD is still a secondary disorder? Maybe a trip to the doc would be a good next step. Also, the normal reward and punishment stuff doesn't really work for her. She doesn't have a passion for anything except fan fiction, and I already took that away. She does have a homeschool arts enrichment program she loves, but I HATE to take that away. It's her primary source of social interaction, she loves the interaction and what she's learning and it gets her out of the house. I consider it a basic life skill. Then again, so is learning to follow directions and doing stuff you don't want to do. I'm still wrestling with that. Anyway, today was awful. Just abysmal. I'm not proud of my behavior and I actually just left the house for a few hours to go try to calm myself, and so I didn't kill my kid. I ended up having a sobbing fit in the middle of the Target parking lot. I'm sure everyone thought I should have been medicated! Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. It is comforting knowing I'm not the only one, because it does feel VERY lonely. Well, that kind of changes everything. Anyhow, I wouldn't take away any of the things she has a passion for. If she is pretty passionless in general, taking away what drives her is kind of going to make things worse, right? My mom used to say she was going to drive me through the poorest areas of town to show me how life is if you don't drive yourself to be productive. She never did get around to it, though. Might that help your daughter see a bit of reality? It's really easy to have no drive when everything you need will still be there regardless of how lazy your are and how little you care. In a short period of time she will be an adult and suffer very much if she can't get herself to do anything. Is she truly aware of that? Seeing it in person might at least help. BTW, sobbing fits at Target are totally fine during hard parenting trials. Your fears and worries are normal and most likely she will eventually find her stride. :) Edited August 23, 2011 by Sputterduck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 (edited) She'll probably turn out just fine. Teenagers go through phases. And hey, maybe she's an independent minded girl and not a hoop jumper. She could do amazing things with that. :iagree: Yes, yes, yes. Don't sacrifice your relationship, no matter what you have to give up. I know that sounds drastic, but in our case it became clear: she can always gain "academic" knowledge. There's no time limit on that. Take the time now to forge a relationship, because a broken relationship is a lot harder to mend than what we perceive as educational gaps. Give her some time, no matter how hard it is from a parental perspective. Sometimes the world's timeline for when kids are ready to do/be certain things isn't realistic. In our case, punishment wouldn't have worked and we had to see the larger picture. Edited August 23, 2011 by Alphabetika Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I'm so sorry today was bad. I've had my share of Target-parking-lot breakdowns, too. And I've been feeling pretty hopeless about school with my son for the last couple of years. He doesn't have any diagnosed issues (other than being too smart for everyone's good), but I've spent more time than I care to remember worrying about his lack of interest in school and his lack of motivation. Then, this summer, I had an epiphany. It hit me one day that I wasn't going to be able to change his basic nature, and I cannot just make him interested in school by sheer force of will. I've been trying and trying, and it has turned out not only to be a waste of everyone's time and effort but to have the awful side effect of blinding me to the wonderful kid in front of me. I think it has also made school more unpleasant and even less interesting for him. I truly believe that attempting to force him to do school in a way that matched my vision interfered with his ability to learn anything. And I also know that it took a toll on our relationship and ability to enjoy each other's company. So, I decided to change the way we're doing it. Drastically. I've decided to pare back on imposing specific assignments in many subjects and to turn over more freedom and responsibility to him. I'm trying to create a situation in which he will want to and be able to learn. Keep in mind that we literally just started the new school year today. However, today was a really good day. He was enthusiastic about school for the first time in I-don't-even-remember-how long. He was pleasant and happy all day. He voluntarily spent almost three hours working on an art project (the exact same kind of project he would have done sloppily in 15 minutes if I'd assigned it). I have no illusions it will last forever or be "the cure." But I'm grateful for this one good day. And I'm hopeful that we'll have more pretty good days. As I said, we don't have the extra challenges that it sounds like you might have. But I thought that maybe something in my story might be helpful to you. Also, in general, I wanted to respond to some of these comments: My kids are young. I cannot think about the teen years. I fear those days. My oldest may not give me that trouble, but I suspect my youngest will. I am literally trembling in my shoes. :001_huh: For what it's worth, I'm loving having teens. My kids have turned out to be less challenging in the last few years than they were when they were younger, and I genuinely enjoy their company now most of the time. They are funny and smart and thoughtful and really good people. I'm finding, so far, that the teen years are turning out to be something of a reward for the time we put in earlier. Of course they are still exhausting sometimes. Of course I get angry and frustrated at least once or twice a week. But most of the time, I'm not only proud of my kids. I just plain like them. I don't think the teen years need to be something to fear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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