lilbean05 Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 We started school today (yay!) and had our first real attempt at narration. We had dabbled in it a bit last year with FLL, but this was our first real go and I was hoping to get some feedback! Parables from Nature, A Lesson in Faith A butterfly said to the caterpillar that she is going to die and asked her to take care of her butterfly eggs and said that they can’t eat cabbage leaves. They eat water and honey from flowers. The butterfly died. Then the caterpillar asked the bird to help her take care of the eggs. The caterpillar said she believed everything she was told. But the caterpillar didn’t believe what the bird said. But she said that she believed everything she was told. Then the bird flew away. Then the caterpillar, she felt something around her. She looked around. Then there were 5 new born caterpillars! When the 5 caterpillars saw the cabbage leaves, they ate and ate and ate and ate and ate. And then the caterpillar was very happy and the bird said, “I told you you wouldn’t believe me!”. Moral: The moral of the story is that we should trust who we think is smart. Even if you don’t know something, you still trust them. The End Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilbean05 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Share Posted September 19, 2011 Does anyone have any feedback? I am not sure if we are using too much detail or not enough detail. Do we need to work on using less "story telling" type of language (ate and ate and ate and ate) or does that not really matter? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
go_go_gadget Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 I think it depends on whose philosophy you're following. My understand of CM is that more detail = yay, but SWB's classical approach favors fewer, shorter sentences that summarize rather than re-tell the story. If you're following CM, it looks like you're golden. If you're doing WWE, use the first narration as a "rough draft" from which to narrow it down further. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilbean05 Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 Thank you, Laura! My gut reaction to your post is, "Oh shoot!" Because..well..I am not sure if we are CM or Classical!! We just started CM methods this year, but are using WWE in addition to Ambleside Online, and it seems the two narration styles conflict! Oh my...time to research more and figure our what we think is best for our family. Thanks a ton! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaOz Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 We started school today (yay!) and had our first real attempt at narration. We had dabbled in it a bit last year with FLL, but this was our first real go and I was hoping to get some feedback! Parables from Nature, A Lesson in Faith A butterfly said to the caterpillar that she is going to die and asked her to take care of her butterfly eggs and said that they can’t eat cabbage leaves. They eat water and honey from flowers. The butterfly died. Then the caterpillar asked the bird to help her take care of the eggs. The caterpillar said she believed everything she was told. But the caterpillar didn’t believe what the bird said. But she said that she believed everything she was told. Then the bird flew away. Then the caterpillar, she felt something around her. She looked around. Then there were 5 new born caterpillars! When the 5 caterpillars saw the cabbage leaves, they ate and ate and ate and ate and ate. And then the caterpillar was very happy and the bird said, “I told you you wouldn’t believe me!â€. Moral: The moral of the story is that we should trust who we think is smart. Even if you don’t know something, you still trust them. The End I think it's good. I personally like the story-telling approach to giving a narration and I wouldn't try to change it unless it had glaring errors in sequence. Well done!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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