Jump to content

Menu

Feedback on 6 y/o narration


lilbean05
 Share

Recommended Posts

We started school today (yay!) and had our first real attempt at narration. We had dabbled in it a bit last year with FLL, but this was our first real go and I was hoping to get some feedback!

 

Parables from Nature, A Lesson in Faith

 

A butterfly said to the caterpillar that she is going to die and asked her to take care of her butterfly eggs and said that they can’t eat cabbage leaves. They eat water and honey from flowers. The butterfly died. Then the caterpillar asked the bird to help her take care of the eggs. The caterpillar said she believed everything she was told. But the caterpillar didn’t believe what the bird said. But she said that she believed everything she was told. Then the bird flew away. Then the caterpillar, she felt something around her. She looked around. Then there were 5 new born caterpillars! When the 5 caterpillars saw the cabbage leaves, they ate and ate and ate and ate and ate. And then the caterpillar was very happy and the bird said, “I told you you wouldn’t believe me!”.

 

Moral: The moral of the story is that we should trust who we think is smart. Even if you don’t know something, you still trust them.

 

The End

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

I think it depends on whose philosophy you're following. My understand of CM is that more detail = yay, but SWB's classical approach favors fewer, shorter sentences that summarize rather than re-tell the story. If you're following CM, it looks like you're golden. If you're doing WWE, use the first narration as a "rough draft" from which to narrow it down further.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you, Laura! My gut reaction to your post is, "Oh shoot!" Because..well..I am not sure if we are CM or Classical!! We just started CM methods this year, but are using WWE in addition to Ambleside Online, and it seems the two narration styles conflict! Oh my...time to research more and figure our what we think is best for our family. Thanks a ton!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We started school today (yay!) and had our first real attempt at narration. We had dabbled in it a bit last year with FLL, but this was our first real go and I was hoping to get some feedback!

 

Parables from Nature, A Lesson in Faith

 

A butterfly said to the caterpillar that she is going to die and asked her to take care of her butterfly eggs and said that they can’t eat cabbage leaves. They eat water and honey from flowers. The butterfly died. Then the caterpillar asked the bird to help her take care of the eggs. The caterpillar said she believed everything she was told. But the caterpillar didn’t believe what the bird said. But she said that she believed everything she was told. Then the bird flew away. Then the caterpillar, she felt something around her. She looked around. Then there were 5 new born caterpillars! When the 5 caterpillars saw the cabbage leaves, they ate and ate and ate and ate and ate. And then the caterpillar was very happy and the bird said, “I told you you wouldn’t believe me!â€.

 

Moral: The moral of the story is that we should trust who we think is smart. Even if you don’t know something, you still trust them.

 

The End

 

I think it's good. I personally like the story-telling approach to giving a narration and I wouldn't try to change it unless it had glaring errors in sequence. Well done!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...