Toddler weaning tips?

[Moxie]

My "baby" is almost 2 and she is a total nursing addict. I'm expecting in April and I'm DONE with the constant nursing. My other kids just slowly gave it up but this girl shows no signs of being done. What do I do to get this child weaned (and then sleeping through the night but that is a different thread)?

[pageta]

I had to stop nursing mid-pregnancy with one of mine because it hurt to nurse. I just told him "na-na is broken" (his word for nursing was na-na). Otherwise I'm sure he would have kept going strong.

[Joanne]

My "baby" is almost 2 and she is a total nursing addict. I'm expecting in April and I'm DONE with the constant nursing. My other kids just slowly gave it up but this girl shows no signs of being done. What do I do to get this child weaned (and then sleeping through the night but that is a different thread)?

 

I nursed through 3 pregnancies (one was a miscarriage). Are you open to considering limits and boundaries instead of weaning? In any case, this link to my old blog my help you.

 

Nursing an Intense Older Child

 

This entry on firm parenting may also help.

[Soror]

I weaned dd#1 while prego as it was driving me absolutely up the wall. First I did nightweaning then daytime. I would just refuse and try to distract and keep her busy. She was a bit over 2, it really went pretty fast and easy.

[Carpe]

I've heard that night weaning is easier to start with, and once you're getting more sleep, you may feel differently about the daytime weaning.

 

I have no experience because my older son weaned himself, and I'm still nursing my toddler. I was considering night weaning him, but still haven't taken the plunge.

[jenangelcat]

I had to stop nursing mid-pregnancy with one of mine because it hurt to nurse. I just told him "na-na is broken" (his word for nursing was na-na). Otherwise I'm sure he would have kept going strong.

 

:iagree:

 

Nursing was completely unbearable during the last two pregnancies. I couldn't stand it for more than a couple of seconds. I weaned both the girls around 20 months cold turkey. They were nursing addicts up until that point but they were fine when I had to stop.

[Moxie]

I nursed through 3 pregnancies (one was a miscarriage). Are you open to considering limits and boundaries instead of weaning? In any case, this link to my old blog my help you.

 

Nursing an Intense Older Child

 

This entry on firm parenting may also help.

 

I'll check out your blog, thanks. No, I'm not really open to nursing longer. I've been pregnant and/or nursing for 10 years. I haven't had a full night sleep in almost 2 years. I'm tired and done. I'd like just a little rest before I start all over again with a newborn in April.

[melbotoast]

I am ready to wean DD too. We are down to 3 times a day: bedtime, naptime, and when she wakes up in the morning. She is NOT going to be happy with me. I agree to try night weaning first. That wasn't fun, but helped me feel a lot better.

[Samiam]

IMHO, just do it!

 

I was happy to make it to the 1st year with my last DS, BFing. Pleased as punch to continue to 2nd year..... I was done by that 2nd year though, but he wasn't. I had no idea how to wean, because I had never made it that far with prior two DS. Continue on to 3rd year, not really willingly. But after 3rd birthday, I put my foot down, so to speak, lol. That's it, we're done.

 

But here's the thing, I really really hate for my babies to cry over something that I can control....how heartbreaking.

 

Someone recommend to me to JUST DO IT. Don't draw it out, start it and finish it.

 

By age 3, he was just occasional during the day....I called it drive by nursing. But he did nurse to go to sleep,and throughout the night.

 

So on THE day, no more nursing. I told him the milk was gone. He cried, threw a fit, said it wasn't gone, it was RIGHT there (pointing to me, lol). During the day, I could distract, offer him sippy cups, etc, and we moved on quickly.

 

But bedtime was what I was really dreading. I don't think I had put him to bed before without nursing. So it was big drama....poor guy, lots of crying, sad sad tears...broke my heart. I offered to rock him, he accepted and that is how he fell asleep. Throughout the night, he would attempt to nurse, and I would tell it was all gone, a few more tears, and I would rock him (really just cuddle in bed since it was in the middle of the night) and back to sleep.

 

Next day, same cycle all over again....bedtime again being the worst, again offered to rock him,and off to sleep.

 

By the third day, it was pretty much over. We rocked at bedtime, without any of the drama.

 

The nighttime fumblings of me feeling his hands trying to pull up my shirt kept on for a few weeks, but no crying...he would just roll over and go back to sleep.

 

But literally, the hardest part, the whole drama, was over in 2-3 days flat.

 

And he never looked back.

 

Had I know it would be that short of a time, over that quickly, I would probably not have BF that whole third year. On the other hand, perhaps it was because he was 3, that went over so easy.

 

Course now that he is five, I miss those cuddly times.

[Mrs Mungo]

Does distraction work? Offering a snack or drink? Offering to read a book, blow bubbles, play with play-dough?

[Carol in Cal.]

There is a great book about older nursers called "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" that I highly recommend.

 

I will say, though, that I'm really glad I continued nursing through the toddler period. I had the ULTIMATE redirection tool at my disposal, and it was magic. We never had terrible twos in our house, and I think that that was why.

[rootsnwings]

I nursed #2 through #3s pregnancy and then tandem nursed them for 9 months before weaning #2. I couldn't wean him before then without feeling like he would resent the baby still nursing. He ended up potty training and weaning all in the same week at exactly 30 months ~ when he was ready! :) He has never once asked to nurse again or acted like he was upset about the baby still nursing. So my advice would be not to rush the little one. They will seem soooo big once the baby gets here, but really? They're still a baby too!!!! :)

[NicAnn]

I took the "don't offer, don't refuse" approach. I think that you can gently wean by using this method. If that's not something for you, then I recommend setting limits just for a little while. So today, prepare her for that. Tell her tomorrow we will nurse just once in the morning, once at nap, and once at night (for example).

 

As for night weaning...I told Dd that "nurses were sleeping" and that they would be awake in the morning. She night weaned in about a week I'd say. I'm all for extended breastfeeding, but DD was also a horrible sleeper. I got a solid night sleep that first week of nightweaning.

 

Good luck!

[NicAnn]

You could also have a weaning party. Let her know that nursing was a special time for you two, but now it's time to move onto another special period.

[TheReader]

this ("just do it") is what I did with my youngest as well. He was also three when he weaned.

 

For him, because he is just.that.stubborn. and I am just.not. I also put large bandaids on so that when he demanded to see the nursies, he had a visual cue that they really were broken.

 

Mine went much like Samiam described - daytime was fairly easy to distract, nighttime he'd argue and fuss and I'd show him they were broken and he'd settle down/cuddle to sleep.

 

Now, the whole him reaching up under my shirt bit to feel them.......let's just say that took a LOT longer to go away and for a very long time he'd still want to go to sleep with a hand on his (now broken) nursies. So. Umm. Set some boundaries if that part will bug you. Maybe with a 2 yr old it won't be as bad.

 

Depending on how often your 2 yr old is nursing right now, you might need to pump once/twice a day to relieve yourself or take a slower approach to weaning so as to avoid engorgement.

 

Best of luck to you. I well remember that point in the nursing relationship when things shifted from "this is the thing I love best about our relationship" to "this is damaging our relationship big time" and just wanting and NEEDING to be done. IMO, once it becomes something mom resents or dreads, it's time to stop. :grouphug: as you do this. I hope you get a nice long break and recuperation before the baby comes in April.

[melissad2]

I weaned my son at 20 months and it took a complete change in routine to get it done! We went camping for the weekend and I just decided that I wasn't going to nurse him while we were gone. I had already gotten him down to nursing just before bedtime so there was enough distraction that he just didn't think about it and I didn't mention it ;) and he just gave it up and hasn't looked back! Ironically we co-slept while camping and I thought that would be a problem but it wasn't :D!

[gardenmom5]

My "baby" is almost 2 and she is a total nursing addict. I'm expecting in April and I'm DONE with the constant nursing. My other kids just slowly gave it up but this girl shows no signs of being done. What do I do to get this child weaned (and then sleeping through the night but that is a different thread)?

 

I had one who weaned herself at 15 months - she always viewed sustenance as something necessary to life.

two who were "whatever" when I weaned them at 18 months

 

one who lived to nurse. He *hit me and screamed at me for six months* after weaning him at 18 months. (later I felt I shouldn't have weaned him. I now know he has/had sensory issues). extra-cuddling didn't make him happy. I finally managed to switch him to a playtex bottle with silicon orthodontic nipple. he had NEVER accepted a bottle before, but given bottle or nothing, he switched - he was VERY particular about nipples. He had one until he was five. He was okay giving them up - "when you're four, we're not going to take a bottle to church anymore" warnings for several months he was okay. "when you're five, we're not going to have a bedtime bottle". He still chews on things - pens, paperclips, etc. he's 22.

 

The youngest one has sensory issues/ASD. I thought if I let him nurse longer (think back to the one who hit me), he would eventually give it up more easily. ha. He couldn't go to sleep with out nursing. He'd drop off almost instantly when I did. he could go from 60 to all stop in two minutes. I was having my own issues being touched by him constantly and admit I turned into a nutcase at times.He was three and a half when I finally stopped nursing him for good, he complained, he'd pretend to nurse, even today he will sometimes "knead" my breast. He'll also knead my eldest daughter's chest. makes her nuts too. Now he only does it when he's very agitated. (or stroke the hair at the nape of my neck.) I can usually get him to grab my thumb and squeeze it.

Edited August 19, 2011 by gardenmom5

[Excelsior! Academy]

If you really want to stop, then go out of town for a few days. I did this with one of my dds.

[AndyJoy]

I weaned my DS a little over a month ago (21 months). He was down to before bed, upon waking, and before his nap. The nap one was driving me crazy because he would either want to nurse for 2 hours while sleeping and wake up angry if I popped him off, or he would want to take a sip, get up, come back, etc. He was an "addict" and I thought it would be really hard but it wasn't as hard as I expected.

 

I weaned him by skipping his nap every day for 10 days. I kept him crazy busy and never sat down so he wouldn't think about nursing. By bedtime, he was exhausted and fell right asleep without nursing. In the morning, I had a cup of juice (which he had only had 4 times before that) and a banana in my hand when I got him from his room and we jumped right into our day. Some mornings I had a picnic breakfast prepared and we went to the park immediately and he was so excited he was easy to distract. After about 10 days, I was able to sit on his bed with him while he fell asleep for a nap. He'd been nursing & napping in my arms up until this point so it is a major relief to be able to actually do something while he naps (other than hang out here :D). He still asks occasionally but now I just say teasingly, "No, no, no! We don't do that anymore!" and offer him some milk and he moves on.

[JumpyTheFrog]

In the spring, I decided to wean my newly 2 year old. He was still nursing 6-8 times per day (not at night), and wouldn't go to sleep any other way. I have chronic health problems and my doctor had run out of nursing-safe treatments for me to try. I really needed to finally be able to use some new treatments.

 

Another doctor told me how when she couldn't get her youngest to wean at age 3, her oldest child suggested painting that stuff people paint on thumbs to stop thumbsucking on her nipples. She said the girl tried each side once, declared the milk yucky, and never asked again.

 

Last winter, I painted on a yucky paste of baking powder and cream of tartar a few times and he wouldn't nurse, but just cried for hours. I waited a few more months and tried gradually cutting out a single feeding. Distraction with chocolate milk (a rare treat) and other treats didn't work. He would just be inconsolable until I nursed him.

 

Just after his 2nd birthday I tried again with the "yucky nipple" approach. I painted on some herbal extract stuff that is truly disgusting tasting, but wouldn't hurt him. He tried to get some milk anyway, so then I dripped some white vinegar down into his mouth. He decided to try the other side and found it was also yucky. He gave up and went away without a meltdown.

 

Over the next few days, he would start to ask for milk, then stop and say, "milk yucky." He made one half-hearted attempt to latch on a few days later, but didn't cry when I reminded the milk was yucky.

 

I hope I don't sound like a cruel mother. I gradually weaned my older son at age 2 1/2 while pregnant with hyperemesis gravidarum, so it's not like I wasn't committed to nursing toddlers. This boy, however, made cold turkey seem the only way to go. I didn't really expect it to work, and I was a wreck for several days.

 

My son became much happier. He wasn't constantly getting upset if I tried to delay nursing. Within a day or two, he would let his dad walk around with him and then put him down to sleep. It was so nice to not be the only one that coud get him to sleep anymore.

 

Anyway, if you find that a gradual approach isn't working, keep this idea in the back of your mind. (Please note, I wouldn't recommend this for babies. But a child that is almost two is much different.)

[Sara in AZ]

If you really want to stop, then go out of town for a few days. I did this with one of my dds.

 

Ha! I've done this twice with two different toddlers. You just have to be prepared not to cave and nurse him/her in the airport Starbucks the second you get back. Alas, I was not.

 

Still nursing an almost 3 year old along with 7 month old here. I did successfully wean during pregnancy once, though. We start with night weaning. "You can only nurse when the sun is up" seems to get through to mine. Then we try and replace the bedtime nursing with "cuddle water" in a sippy cup. During the day is all about distraction, like others have said.

 

Nursing through pregnancy is the pits, but I'm glad I didn't wean my current toddler for it because she really needed it over the last six months.

 

Hang in there whichever way you go!

[Annie Laurie]

I would try to do it gradually, over a week or two, and not so abruptly if you can. If you start with night, you can work on no nursing and getting her sleeping on her own at the same time. I was pregnant with #4 while #3 was still nursing and cosleeping, she was only 16 months when I found out, so I didn't want to wean her yet, but I did want to night wean her. What we had to do was have Dad take over for a week. He would rock her and comfort her at night and put her back in her crib each time and she stopped asking within a few days. I don't know if that was personality, because my current baby is so difficult about sleeping and that won't work with him, though maybe it would if her were older. I will find out in a few months because I need sleep! (I can commiserate on that).

 

Anyway, I would think at 2 she can understand if you tell her we only nurse when the sun is out. Then give her a couple of weeks and once she is settled into better sleeping and not night nursing you could work on day nursing more. Starting with telling her she can only nurse at certain times, and gradually reducing it until she is weaned over the course of a month or two. Don't offer to nurse, and distract her as much as possible when she asks, with a special treat or an outing or a fun activity. I really did not like tandem nursing, so that's how I day weaned my dd after awhile.

 

That may be too drawn out for you right now, I know being pregnant is already exhausting. I guess I'd just want to be gradual with a nursing addict and try to wean as gently as possible, respecting her need for comfort in the way she is used to. If you need to do it more abruptly, I would be very careful to spend lots of time with her and hold her a lot, she may really mourn the skin to skin contact and cuddling that nursing brings.