Suzuki or seious music moms-How do you fit it all in?

[Papillon Mom]

My dd is only doing kindergarten and we are able to fit everything, but just barely. I'm wondering how moms with older kids that have more challenging amounts of school, manage. I don't want to borrow worry from tomorrow but I feel like I'm missing something here. Is it that when they're older things progress from subject to subject quicker? Do you have more time because they take less time to scoot from activity to activity? I want to develope good work habits for both of us. My dd is 5.5yo. She plays the violin and piano. She practices 1-2 hours a day 6 days a week. The rest of her school consists of Explode the Code, Horizons Math, and read alouds with some educational games and poetry memorization thrown in. She also has speech therapy 2x/week, swimming 3x/week, ballet 1x/week, and a music lesson 1x/week. I know it doesn't seem like a lot but our days are packed.

What's your secret?

Any thoughts or advice is appreciated,

Thanks,

Amanda

[Rosy]

I am not a serious music mom, but my secret is I don't even *try* to do it all. We are busier than I prefer to be with one activity per kid, plus church commitments and co-op. Just those things have us out every night of the week. In our family, we would be choosing swim OR ballet, piano OR violin and no additional music lesson.

 

You said it doesn't seem like a lot...actually, to me it does! Especially for a 5 year old. If I was in your shoes and the music was important to me, I would choose one instrument (for me it would be piano) and only do one sport--maybe swim in the summer and ballet through the school year.

 

To answer your question, we don't start our activities until late afternoon--usually around 4pm. That gives us all morning and most of the afternoon to do school and chores. We also have started schooling year-round so we can lighten our academic load during the school year when our activity schedule is full. Having a week off during the year relieves some of the pressure. Hope some of that helps!

[Papillon Mom]

Thanks. We are thoroughly committed to violin and piano. I appreciate you saying that it seems like a lot to you. I look at other moms and it seems they have time for so much more.

Thanks again,

Amanda

[Runningmom80]

My son will be starting Suzuki bass in the fall. I was told to expect 10-20 minutes of practice a day, at most. He also takes drum lessons, and that's about 15 minutes a day. We haven't started school yet, but I can't imagine we would have time for 2 hrs of practice every day. I'm impressed that you can fit it all in!

[Rosy]

Thanks. We are thoroughly committed to violin and piano. I appreciate you saying that it seems like a lot to you. I look at other moms and it seems they have time for so much more.

Thanks again,

Amanda

Then I'm sure you'll find a way to make it work. :) That is the beauty of homeschooling--we can prioritize what is best for our kids.

 

Since you have an only, you may end up feeling like you have room in your schedule for more than someone like me. I have friends who think that I am completely overscheduled--they prefer more time at home, and that's fine. I do think it gets easier to do more when our kids are older and have a greater capacity for activity. She'll be more independent in a few years and that will free you up some.

 

Also, I think if you're starting to feel stretched, you'll just let go of whatever you need to let go of. At times I have made a "time budget" and figured out how much time I have control over, and then which things need to happen in that time (in order of priority) and allot the necessary amount of time to each one.

 

Blessings to you--it sounds like your daughter is off to a great start!

[Susan in TN]

That's packed. Seriously packed. Music, swimming, ballet, therapy. If you can fit it all in now, that's OK. And for as long as possible. But you will have to keep in mind your priorities. If she's your only, you may be able to get by with it and just be constantly on the go. Some people thrive on it.

 

My situation is a little different because I have 6 kids. So activities are more limited - no more than 2 activities per child, and the younger ones pretty much have to do what the olders are doing (i.e. scouts, American heritage girls, dance). My oldest, who is the most serious about music, dropped martial arts last year because we needed to free up some time and it was the least important to him. It was't easy, but after a few months he was happy with the change. (We told him that he could always go back if he simply missed it too much - that helped him with the decision making.)

 

This year he's added string bass and piano lessons in addition to saxophone and homeschool concert band. I am making serious cuts in some of his curriculum to acommodate his practice time. He is really pushing to earn his Boy Scout Eagle by next summer so he can join the youth symphony next year. Fortunately, he is also a fairly diligent worker in his school lessons.

 

And in the end, I simply have to trust that God will provide the opportunities as well as the means to take advantage of them.

[minuway]

I would consider that way too much to get everything done well, if that makes you feel better. I can't imagine being able to give the depth we want to bring to our academics, and have time for our kids to pursue interests on their own (not scheduled activity interests) if we were doing all that. I have a 1st grader right now who is doing piano once a week, and they want her to move up in ballet to the level where you have to go twice a week. We are asking her to choose what is more important to her, because to me, even aside from the expense, 3 scheduled activities in addition to co-op is excessive. I think she's leaning toward ballet, which is hard for me as a music person, but I'm learning to chill. :)

[angela in ohio]

A few answers off the top of my head:

 

By being very organized. :001_smile:

 

Also, because as they get older, life type things take less time: meals, dressing, bathing, etc.

 

By having dc who don't watch TV (just a movie now and then.)

 

Because if you want something done, you give it to the busiest person: the more one has to do, the more they get done.

 

My dc have art, music, sports, robotics/LEGO, and so on. We manage to get it all in, and they are strong students. :001_smile: They also do a great job of spending their free time in meaningful pursuits. It's the way I was raised, and it worked well for me.

 

Her school work sounds appropriate for her age. Eventually, you may want to choose ballet OR swimming, as each starts to demand more time. By then, you will be able to see which way her inclination is. And her speech therapy will end at some point, which will free time up as her academics increase.

[Papillon Mom]

Wow! Thank you for all the responses!

Angela, what does very organized look like to you? Can you expound on this a bit, please? Yes, only one video/movie a week is the way we roll at our house too.

Any more tips?

Thanks a million,

Amanda

[Abigail4476]

In our house, academics (which includes basic fitness/health) and music have priority over athletics. Since music is considered a basic component of education, then extra-curricular athletics take a back seat. Both of our girls have played basketball, taken dancing, ice skating, gymnastics, swimming & riding lessons; however, we've always limited them to one extra-curricular activity at a time to keep our schedules sane.

 

Ds8 is involved in a more rigorous music program, and we actually have to sign a contract agreeing that he will not be involved in any other extra-curricular activities during the school year. Basic physical education or short-term activities are fine, but anything that requires heavy involvement or distracts him from music is out. He has two music lessons per week, two music theory classes per week, practices 40 minutes/day, is required to attend a certain number of symphonies per year, and has 4-8 recitals per school year. There's really no room for anything else.

 

Beyond that, I agree with a previous poster that you need to be very, very organized. My daytimer is the keeper of my sanity and during the school year we do our best to keep a very consistent schedule. We are willing to cut back on non-essentials in order to make room for the things that are truly important. Also, the book Simplicity Parenting has inspired me and helped me prioritize my kids' schedules effectively.

[lea1]

My dd is 5.5yo. She plays the violin and piano. She practices 1-2 hours a day 6 days a week. The rest of her school consists of Explode the Code, Horizons Math, and read alouds with some educational games and poetry memorization thrown in. She also has speech therapy 2x/week, swimming 3x/week, ballet 1x/week, and a music lesson 1x/week. I know it doesn't seem like a lot but our days are packed.

 

Wow, it seems like a lot to me. I have two almost-six year olds and have struggled with the idea of having them in violin, swimming and soccer once per week, in addition to co-op once a week and, of course, daily school work. We will drop either swimming or soccer when they start 1st grade and will keep it at one sport activity and one music activity per week. I really don't like to have to get out of the house every day of the week. I need some home time and they seem to need it too.

 

I agree with the other posters though. We each set our priorities and modify everything else to fit. Definitely the beauty of homeschooling.

[Sarah CB]

At some point you have to prioritize. But, at 5 it's really hard to make that call. When dd was five she was in ballet, tap and jazz. She was an incredibly cute little dancer and she had a fantastic time doing it. She really loved dancing and we were very committed to it.

 

Then, at nearly 8, she decided that she didn't enjoy dancing and instead wanted to take Taekwon-do. My ballerina loving heart nearly broke. I *loved* having a ballerina <sigh>. She dropped dance, began Taekwon-do, and hasn't looked back. She's fifteen now and in the spring she tested for her second degree Black Belt. She's a force to be reckoned with and really loves what she's doing.

 

I think it's great that you have your dd in a few different things. You don't know what she'll want to concentrate on and truly excel in. She may change her mind a bunch of times in the next five or ten years and that's Ok. You're exposing her to a lot of choices and if you go down any of those paths seriously they will demand your commitment above all else. Ds (11) has gotten to that point with his music. This year he's not taking part in any activities that compete with his music. That means no plays (he does enjoy the theatre) and Taekwon-do will slow down a bit. At his age he knows what he wants to pour his time and energy into, but it's only after years of trying lots of different things and getting a taste for all kinds of activities.

 

I might decrease the practicing a little - I'm a Suzuki mom to three kids (one is a five year old boy) and I know what goes into making the practices engaging and efficient. Remember, Suzuki says to never hurry but never stop. There's no rush, just enjoy the process. If you're both loving an hour or two each day and there's no possibility of burn-out then you're fine, but if it becomes stressful to either of you a little less practice isn't going to hurt. We practice every day, but only my 11 year old practices as much as your 5 year old. My 9 year old spends 35 minutes a day (just cello) and my five year old spends about 20 - 40 minutes per day, depending on how creative and fun I can make the practice.

[LibraryLover]

nm

Edited August 12, 2011 by LibraryLover

[myfunnybunch]

I look at other moms and it seems they have time for so much more.

 

They do have time for more. They haven't committed 1-2 hours to daily music practice, plus weekly lessons.

 

Life is choices. If you choose to fill your child's time, then her time is full. We as parents cannot possibly ever ever ever fit in every single valuable activity into our children's lives. For example, much to my 10 y.o.'s dismay, he cannot do piano and guitar and choir and bass and soccer and swimming and karate and musical theater and play with his friends and sit on his bed to read and daydream in the hammock and get a decent education. Even if he could do it, *I* would lose my mind.

 

So we have to choose. You're the best judge of how to fill your time and your child's, so if you're committed to musical education, go for it, but with the understanding that trying to live your life and do the "so much more" will make you crazy.

 

Cat

[Kim in Appalachia]

I have 3 kids doing Suzuki violin, my oldest does piano, and my yougest will start piano this fall. The kids also do US swimming, but they don't practice as much as most kids do for that, because the pool has very limited time.

 

Fitting it all in? I can't. I changed my approach to school. We now use a text book approach (mostly Rod and Staff). It is much easier to keep the kids on track. I dropped things like Latin and art (music is art, right?).We listen to either Story of the World or another audio book in the van while driving to all this stuff. The kids also have book lists that they work through so I that I know they are at least reading. I really streamed lined school, and I look for ways to make it easier. My dd13 takes 2 online classes. My oldest is doing most of her work using dual credit at a local college.

 

And the other thing, my house is the last thing on my list. The necessities get done, but I don't really deep clean. My mom always tells me that some day I'll have time to clean every inch on my house, my kids will be grown and I'll have more time. Right now, it's about the kids. :001_smile:

[angela in ohio]

Wow! Thank you for all the responses!

Angela, what does very organized look like to you? Can you expound on this a bit, please? Yes, only one video/movie a week is the way we roll at our house too.

Any more tips?

Thanks a million,

Amanda

 

By organized I mean that we streamline the routine aspects of life so that we can spend more time on meaningful things. For example, we eat the same thing each week, posted on a schedule on the fridge, and I have parts of our meals pre-prepared in the freezer. Once in a while, dh and I break out and spend a day cooking something new and fancy for dinner, but for the most part, we just keep it simple. Everyone has a set number of clothing pieces, pretty minimal, and they are washed and put away on a system. And so on.

 

More random ideas:

 

I also don't have any fancy hobbies, any froufrou in the house that requires care, a lot of me-time activities, etc.

 

This one will sound counter-intuitive, but we volunteer to be involved in our dc's activities. By being on the Scout committee, by being in the parent organizations, and so on, we have some say in the schedule and we know what is going on. That makes life easier, believe it or not.

 

We don't waste any time on behavior issues, backtalk, disobedience, telling kiddos the same thing three times, etc. That is a huge help. We wouldn't be able to do all we do if I hadn't put down such a firm foundation early on.

[Papillon Mom]

Thanks for the ideas.

I really need to simplify meals. I feed 6 gluten free adults and one child a day.

Having no behavioral issues would be real nice. What's your secret?

Thanks again,

Amanda

[catz]

So we have to choose. You're the best judge of how to fill your time and your child's, so if you're committed to musical education, go for it, but with the understanding that trying to live your life and do the "so much more" will make you crazy.

Cat

 

:iagree: One of my kid's does Suzuki violin and the other does Suzuki piano. My older does circus arts (unicycle, acrobatics, clowning), engineering team, swimming, has done theater, and we also do other classes (like science) outside the house on an ongoing basis. My younger does dance, circus, violin, outside classes, etc. Just saying we are definitely an on the go family.

 

I prioritize music very high here. That being said, neither of my kids practiced that length at age 5 and they are still quite accomplished for age and enjoying it. My oldest now practices piano 45 minutes to 1 hr 15 minutes depending on what's going on. My younger practices probably 30-45 minutes (and part of that tends to be goofing off!). We ALWAYS practice (6 days a week anyway). But there are days I know it won't help if I push hard, and I tend to go lighter those days.

 

It's good to prioritize these things and be prepared for change in interests. My oldest now may want to do more theater and something will have to drop off to do it.

 

We also do a very streamlined approach to school. I utilize outside classes and field trips when I can. Music is considered core curriculum here. House cleaning is last on my list too. Our meals tend to be very simple, especially during the week. I try to double recipes when I do cook.

[catz]

Thanks. We are thoroughly committed to violin and piano. I appreciate you saying that it seems like a lot to you. I look at other moms and it seems they have time for so much more.

Thanks again,

Amanda

 

I personally think music is another level of commitment. I don't think you can compare learning 2 instruments to any other activity. To me it would be like doing 6-10+ activities to compare to the intensity of what you're doing daily with 2 instruments. I think it is a bunch! I think it's fine to have that priority - music is huge here. Although, I won't let my child do a 2nd instrument unless 2 things happen - they ask to do it over an extended period of time, and I know they'll "own" it - I will not really need to be involved in practice, etc. I do have 2 kids too, so I'm in it for probably 2 hours most days as it stands. I like for them to have real mastery over this one thing that's all them - I love they have different instruments so far. Most homeschooled K kids are likely done with school work in 1-2 hours a day in total.

Edited August 13, 2011 by kck

[elizabeth]

I have no social life(by choice), I watch little to no television. We limited our family size . There is no room for brief dalliances with dance or soccer. Nor would I risk her hands on something that means ruining her body for sport. She was born a musician and that is that.

I have few hobbies and do not ever, ever do anything that I do not absolutely want to do as our time is precious. She practices 4 hours a day. Her choice, not mine. Thus I choose to be present and available regardless of my own desires. There is a time for everything and this is time for me to be on the back burner so to speak. There is no time for excellence when people try to do everything under the sun. In fact, the oppostie is true. Thus, Bach and the Black Crowes with a bit of Coltrane are a daily mix around here and the walls shake for hours a day with sound. I love it!!:lol:

[HeidiKC]

I think that eventually you (or she) will need to choose which of these activities she's going to stick with. That seems like really a lot to me, and as she gets older and more serious about these activities, there will be a lot more time required to train in them. I would ask yourself whether you really think it is realistic to have her continue all these for the next 5+ years. At age 5 she isn't going to have that much schoolwork, but it's going to increase a lot in a few years, and more a few years after that. And if you don't think it is realistic (and to me it wouldn't be), maybe ask yourself if it is worth even keeping her in all these activities right now if you're not going to pursue them long-term.

 

I know how you feel, though. I also think I have my kids overbooked with activities. There are so many things that seem really important - music, chess, art, sports, swimming. How can you leave one out? You might not have a well-rounded kid! Or you might miss discovering a hidden talent! That is so hard for me. But I don't think I'd be doing my kids any favors by signing them up for so much that they have little free time to discover what THEY like to do (not saying that's the case with your ds). I think that free time is just as important to kids. It's too stressful for them to have too many activities.

 

Also, the amount of time she spends practicing music sounds like an awful lot for that age. If you don't want to cut out an instrument, could you cut her practice time back to about 25 minutes per instrument or so? Which to me still seems like a lot (50 min/day!) for a child of that age.

 

Good luck, it's so hard finding a balance!

[catz]

I have no social life(by choice), I watch little to no television. We limited our family size . There is no room for brief dalliances with dance or soccer. Nor would I risk her hands on something that means ruining her body for sport. She was born a musician and that is that.

I have few hobbies and do not ever, ever do anything that I do not absolutely want to do as our time is precious. She practices 4 hours a day. Her choice, not mine. Thus I choose to be present and available regardless of my own desires. There is a time for everything and this is time for me to be on the back burner so to speak. There is no time for excellence when people try to do everything under the sun. In fact, the oppostie is true. Thus, Bach and the Black Crowes with a bit of Coltrane are a daily mix around here and the walls shake for hours a day with sound. I love it!!:lol:

 

:D I love this post. You must have a very passionate musician at your house! Both my kids enjoy their music - my youngest enjoys it, my oldest now loves it. But I'm not sure it's either one's passion as a life long choice at this point. If it were to become that for my kids, we'd be back to the drawing board on priorities. I have to admit I cringe sometimes when my oldest is doing his sports or unicycle right before big piano events! :tongue_smilie: No broken bones yet here - knock on wood.

[angela in ohio]

:D I love this post. You must have a very passionate musician at your house! Both my kids enjoy their music - my youngest enjoys it, my oldest now loves it. But I'm not sure it's either one's passion as a life long choice at this point. If it were to become that for my kids, we'd be back to the drawing board on priorities. I have to admit I cringe sometimes when my oldest is doing his sports or unicycle right before big piano events! :tongue_smilie: No broken bones yet here - knock on wood.

 

The girls have seating auditions this next week for orchestra, and last week dd cut off the tip of her finger slicing potatoes on the mandolin. :scared: She is playing the clarinet for orchestra, and she was unable to practice for a week. Next year, no cooking, no chores, no playing sports in the backyard, no movement of any kind except practice!

[HeidiKC]

The girls have seating auditions this next week for orchestra, and last week dd cut off the tip of her finger slicing potatoes on the mandolin. :scared: She is playing the clarinet for orchestra, and she was unable to practice for a week. Next year, no cooking, no chores, no playing sports in the backyard, no movement of any kind except practice!

 

Wait...did you say she was using a mandolin...to slice potatoes???! To be funny or was she preparing a meal or what? Brings a whole new meaning to "we are a very musical family".

[angela in ohio]

Wait...did you say she was using a mandolin...to slice potatoes???! To be funny or was she preparing a meal or what? Brings a whole new meaning to "we are a very musical family".

 

She was making us dinner. She was using the right kind of mandolin(e) - the sharp kind - not the musical one. :D

 

She got to take her splint and bandages off today. Happy dance!!

[speedmom4]

I also have a very serious musician in my home. My oldest daughter has been playing piano since she was 7 (wish I had started her sooner :001_huh:).

She teaches 6 students, has her own lessons, practices, and has now been offered a job as a lab assistant at the music academy my daughter takes lessons from. I so feel your pain right now! I don't know how we are going to fit the computer lab assistant job into everything. I have three other children as well.

 

My only bit of advice is to make sure you daughter has free time. My kids had loads of free time when they were young. I really think that helped them to become very very creative. Some of my friends had extremely structured lives and children and they always remarked at how creative my children were and how they wished their children had "learned" to be creative. I didn't teach them that. By having time they learned so much.

 

God Bless,

Elise in NC

[HeidiKC]

She was making us dinner. She was using the right kind of mandolin(e) - the sharp kind - not the musical one. :D

 

She got to take her splint and bandages off today. Happy dance!!

 

Oh my gosh, I feel silly!!! I have never heard of that, whatever it is! Glad to hear it wasn't an instrument she was using.

[zaichiki]

They do have time for more. They haven't committed 1-2 hours to daily music practice, plus weekly lessons.

 

 

Oh come on.

 

Plenty of you out there do academics and extra curriculars with 3+ children that adds up to a lot more time than this one mom spends with her dd.

 

I sense that she's looking for tips on organization and "how do you juggle," NOT "oh hey you made your bed" comments.

[myfunnybunch]

I sense that she's looking for tips on organization and "how do you juggle," NOT "oh hey you made your bed" comments.

 

That wasn't how my comment was meant.

 

Reality is that this level of committment to music means we give up the time to do many other activities. Note I say "we". My 10 y.o. has been taking piano lessons for years. He and I face the same issue: How do we spend our valuable time? It is a choice. Either we commit to our choices and understand what we're giving up by making them, or we look around at what others are doing and second-guess. Organization tips were helpful for me, but most helpful was to finally stop comparing our choices to those of others and understand that this was how we choose to use our time.

 

Cat

Edited August 15, 2011 by myfunnybunch
I was rude. I took that part out.

[zaichiki]

Is it that when they're older things progress from subject to subject quicker?

Yes. And they become more independent.

 

Do you have more time because they take less time to scoot from activity to activity?

Yes.

 

My dd is 5.5yo. She plays the violin and piano. She practices 1-2 hours a day 6 days a week.

Is she one of those kids who just loves music? Would she be playing it in her free time too? (I have one of those.)

 

The rest of her school consists of Explode the Code, Horizons Math, and read alouds with some educational games and poetry memorization thrown in.

 

She also has speech therapy 2x/week, swimming 3x/week, ballet 1x/week, and a music lesson 1x/week. I know it doesn't seem like a lot but our days are packed.

What's your secret?

Work in the car. :)

 

Amanda,

 

 

My kids do Suzuki music, too. We go through seasons when I overschedule us with outside activities. I do it every fall. Last year I signed us up for 2 days of full-day co-op. Ha! I'll never do THAT again. It was insane. In order to get in all the homeschooling stuff I wanted to do they did stuff in the car, between co-op classes, etc. We had to drop soccer/basketball. :(

 

It sounds like your GF cooking and lots of out-of-the-house time may take as much, if not MORE, time than the 2 hours of instrument practice each day. But sometimes that's just the way it is. We just have to juggle. Not easy -- but hey, it would be a lot harder to fit all that in if you were doing public school. (I have friends/family/neighbors who do a LOT of outside activities PLUS the kids are in school all day AND they have hours of daily homework and music practice to boot. It's crazy! It's also REALLY common where I live.)

 

So. I have 4 kids. Oldest is 12 (and practices completely on his own -- is there an angels singing smiley for that?). We do 8 hours of outside music lessons a week. I know I'm going to try to fit in more outside stuff than I should in addition to that. I always do.

 

I will tell you that my oldest does a LOT of his homeschooling independently. I work one-on-one with everyone, but he needs less of it. As they get older, they become more responsible for themselves and things seem to become more streamlined.

 

9 y.o. plays viola, violin, and piano. She needs supervision during her practice time b/c she tends to play music but not actually practice. Her current practice includes about an hour or two of viola music (depending on new music, orchestra, quartet, and/or recital needs), and as much fiddle/violin and piano as she likes (usually 30-60 minutes) b/c she's not serious about these instruments. I have recently discovered that I have to be in the same room and checking in with her every few minutes for most of her viola practice. We break it up into multiple 30 minute practice sessions spread over the whole day. She does one 30 minute block (review) entirely on her own.

 

5 y.o. plays cello. I have to be fully present for that for 15-30 minutes a day. (He is ultra wiggly and I sometimes give up early.)

 

When we're in the height of our "school year" schedule we are highly scheduled. We have to be now, in order to get anything done, though it wasn't like this AT ALL when I was homeschooling one child with one toddler playing in the wings.

 

Now it's breakfast and barn chores followed by a chunk of practice --

then some homeschooling followed by a little free time --

another practice chunk followed by some more homeschooling and lunch

quiet rest time for an hour

a practice chunck and more homeschooling

free time until dinner

practice

reading (sometimes related to homeschooling curriculum)

bed time

 

And I'm ALWAYS calling them to come back (they seem to disappear with Legos and/or books as soon as they've finished something).

 

If we're going to be out of the house a lot I try to bring stuff with us. The kids can do some work in the car or while waiting during a sibling's class. They actually appreciate this b/c it means they get some free time when they're home. Two birds with one stone and all that.