Cindy in C-ville Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 We take Sara Maria to college this weekend. We're raising them to spread their wings, right? But, boy, I'll miss her! If you've BTDT, how did you handle it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyFL Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I was very sad too. I remember with the oldest, coming home and realizing that the whole family dynamic was forever changed. It was a definite time of adjustment for me. BUT.... it was also exciting to hear about all the he was learning and experiencing in college. It's a bag of mixed emotions for a while complete with some ups and downs, but a good and natural part of things. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 As much as I love my kids, I expect them to grow up and move on. I've sent two across the country for four years, and am prepping two more to leave in the next bit. when I sent 2dd off to Chile for 18 months, it just never phased me. I was just thrilled for her to have the opportunity and had confidence in her that it would be good for her. It's not about me, it's about my children and what is best for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 When my oldest left for college, I had a 3 week old baby and almost 3 yo twins. I didn't really have time to dwell on it LOL! I didn't even go with him to drop him off. I do miss him when he's away, and it's nice to have him here, but he's got his own life now and that's the way it should be! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulieH Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Last year, my oldest dd went off to college for the first time at age 18...to SPAIN! I didn't get to bring her. I had to bring her to the airport and put her on a plane. I'd never been to the university in Spain, had never seen the city, and never met the senora she'd be living with. It was HARD! I cried. A lot. A REAL lot. I sat at the airport after sending her through security, on a bench, sobbing. LOL But I was so happy for this next phase of her life and I really believed this is what I had raised and trained her for....to let her go. She did exceptionally well and had a phenomenal experience. This year, she will be a transfer at Grove City College and moves in in 2 weeks. I'm a little sad, but it does get easier. (someone remind me of this on Aug 25 when I say good bye!) It's not easier because she'll be closer, but just because you learn to let them go. I have some friends who think I was nuts to let her go overseas, and some folks "talked" . Some friends won't even let their kids leave the house for college. I disagree with that. So, to each his own I guess. I believe our children are not ours. They are given to us by God for a season to raise up and eventually we have to let them go. My thoughts were well, if not now, then when? So, to those sending their kids off for the first time, I just say, congratulations! Big hugs to you because as a mom I know how hard it is, but be happy and excited for them! Know that the stabbing in your heart is natural and temporary and it's a "season" we parents go through and you'll get through it. In a few years, when your friend is asking you how YOU did it, you'll be able to say "oh honey, it was hard but it'll pass and it'll all be GREAT!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in C-ville Posted August 11, 2011 Author Share Posted August 11, 2011 Thanks, ladies. Deeper than my personal aching is the reality that I am SO excited for her, how the Lord will use this next season for her joy and His glory. They are truly His. Bittersweet ... So, we're going to have a blast at Busch Gardens tomorrow, move her in on Saturday, give big hugs, meet her roommate, leave lots of goodies for her to share with new friends, and then I'm guessing, cry in the car... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I cried. Ds didn't really view college as this great, exciting thing. He's an Aspie, and he just views it as something to get over with so he can gain the knowledge he needs to do what he wants to do with his life. He didn't like Orientation, hated having to meet people, hated the dorms, etc. He's doing fine with his grades, tho. So, I felt sad that he wasn't going to have the same wonderful experience I did (I loved the dorms, loved the people, loved the friendships--the education was somewhat secondary! LOL). BUT, it's all working out, and this summer has been nice, having him home. He is maturing and growing, and really a young adult now, with his own advice and perspectives and such, and I know that came from being away. Allow yourself time to mourn and adjust, and don't stuff your feelings. You will probably have tearful moments when you remember some nostalgic moment or something meaningful you can't do now (mine is always around the time we eat dinner, because I hate setting the table for less than the full complement of my family--). It may also trigger some remembering other losses in your life--for example, I know part of the table setting thing for me is that my dad traveled a lot when I was little, and it was my job to set the table, so I always experienced a moment of loss when I did not put his plate out. This gets recalled when I don't put ds' plate out. Isn't that funny? But this loss, which is totally appropriate and necessary, is helping to heal the childhood sense of loss I had--and thereby, redeeming both the present and the past. I think that's pretty neat, and gracious of God to do that. You will be ok. Lots of hugs and understanding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Thanks, ladies. Deeper than my personal aching is the reality that I am SO excited for her, how the Lord will use this next season for her joy and His glory. They are truly His. Bittersweet ... So, we're going to have a blast at Busch Gardens tomorrow, move her in on Saturday, give big hugs, meet her roommate, leave lots of goodies for her to share with new friends, and then I'm guessing, cry in the car... :iagree: oldest is 27 now. i didn't quite make it to the car before i started crying. dh and i went and bought favourite foods and had a picnic. and i cried some more. next oldest is 25. i didn't quite make it to the car before i started crying. and i cried for two hours.... even though i was so happy for them both. and we got a cell phone plan where we could call one another whenever we wanted. which we did. a lot. :grouphug: ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Honestly? I cried the first few times I walked away and left her in the dorm. But it wasn't as bad as I had feared, even the very first time. I told people back home that I had picked out a nice, little place to pull over and sit in the car and cry before starting home. But it turned out I didn't need it. It'll be okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 We're not there yet, but the thought of having to let my boys go someday makes me sad for you. It's just another part of the tough road of parenting, but one that is so glorious at the same time! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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