Bang!Zoom! Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Ridiculous stereotyping. http://acworth.patch.com/articles/education-starts-at-home From the article: Even if you are a single or divorced mother, it is not that difficult to check whether or not your child has homework and to make sure that he does it to the best of his ability. Seriously, didn't we get over this back in like 1970? Geesh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Kids of single dads, on the other hand, get a pass. We can't expect men to look after children. /sarcasm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Of course - if you're a single mom, you must be an illiterate dummy, but even you can handle it. Bleh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 I'm seriously wondering if that article came out of India or something. Are there people still walking around today thinking this way? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Why didn't the author write: "Even if you are a working mother..." Oh, probably because she herself is a working mom and would (rightfully) resent the insinuation that all working moms are neglectful...:glare: I'm not a single mom, but barf is right! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I don't think we should bash India ; they've got nothing to do with this. There are issues with divorced parents -- or any shared custody arrangement -- but the article provided no useful suggestions about addressing those. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Ridiculous stereotyping. http://acworth.patch.com/articles/education-starts-at-home From the article: Even if you are a single or divorced mother, it is not that difficult to check whether or not your child has homework and to make sure that he does it to the best of his ability. Seriously, didn't we get over this back in like 1970? Geesh! Well, it's not. I mean I worked in the public school and I cannot tell you how many times I heard something along these lines. "We didn't get things done last night because I have been working since the seperation" I heard things along these lines all the time. This article isn't insulting single parents it is saying that it is the parents whop need to stop making exuses and stand up and be parents. The article is basically saying that you can't blame the school for everything and it's true. I am a single mom of 4. One is disabled so I know how hard it is to get everything done but you just do it. I went to college while working full time with 4 small children. The two that went to school got their homework checked. When I did the work study part in a public school I couldn't believe all the junk I heard, all the exuses on why this and why that. I don't take this article as an insult. I take it that the schools are tired of getting blamed for everything wrong and in alot of ways they are right. If a child is not taught to behave don't think they will learn in school. If a parent doesn't make time to be active in a childs education then well, that parent chooses to show the child it's not important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 I'm must be really wired different, I can't personally connect or agree with much that woman is saying, really, I can't. Maybe I'm just at a different place in my life. Dunno.:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I'm must be really wired different, I can't personally connect or agree with much that woman is saying, really, I can't. Maybe I'm just at a different place in my life. Dunno.:confused: Well like anything anyone reads we are all wired and take things differently. I am the last person to stick up for PS I really hate it. I also agree the wording sounded kind of rude but I am trying to get past that to the point. I think she is saying regardless of a situation parents need to be parents and stop expecting the school to raise your kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 (edited) Yep, might be totally on me, I'm just too analytically shaped and fact-based as a reader. You guys are seeing things that are completely lost on me. I read things like a researcher maybe? I really struggled to get any real transfer of her pov because of the internal questioning raised in my reading. My brain just stuttered all the way though like it was nonsense. In the first paragraph it started for me.. Just like any other job, some teachers put more effort and passion into their work than others. (acceptable pov) When test scores drop, we blame the teachers. (um, no, I don't blame a teacher) When school systems are convicted of cheating, we blame the teachers. (again, no, I don't blame a teacher) When our children do not understand certain subjects, we blame the teachers.(never done this a day in my life) When our children have problems with bullies, a low self-esteem or hate school－we blame the teachers. (no, that's my job to deal with) By the time I got down to the "mom" comment, I was completely bewildered and wondering where is this person coming from, the disconnection was so strong by then. Edited August 10, 2011 by one*mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Ridiculous stereotyping. http://acworth.patch.com/articles/education-starts-at-home From the article: Even if you are a single or divorced mother, it is not that difficult to check whether or not your child has homework and to make sure that he does it to the best of his ability. Seriously, didn't we get over this back in like 1970? Geesh! Holy out of context, Batman! That is after multiple paragraphs on putting our tasks on someone else's plate: Too many of us are dependent upon others in certain areas of our lives. Some of us bank upon on a spouse to take care of the finances or rely on a maid service to clean our homes. Some of us are so occupied toting kids back and forth to activities that we no longer parent, we just provide “busy-time”. It is wrong of us to turn to the public school system to raise our children.<snip> Should the teacher bear the entire burden of teaching our children to exercise self-control, to read, to complete a project or to function as part of a team? <snip> Educating your child means teaching him respect, tact, sharing, cooperation, listening, following directions, communication, character development, morals and a myriad of other integral life skills. It means being an active part of your child's life by assisting the teacher and not depending on her. Yes, EVEN if you are the only one with all the responsibilities at home. Well, it's not. I mean I worked in the public school and I cannot tell you how many times I heard something along these lines. "We didn't get things done last night because I have been working since the seperation" I heard things along these lines all the time. This article isn't insulting single parents it is saying that it is the parents whop need to stop making exuses and stand up and be parents. The article is basically saying that you can't blame the school for everything and it's true. I am a single mom of 4. One is disabled so I know how hard it is to get everything done but you just do it. I went to college while working full time with 4 small children. The two that went to school got their homework checked. When I did the work study part in a public school I couldn't believe all the junk I heard, all the exuses on why this and why that. I don't take this article as an insult. I take it that the schools are tired of getting blamed for everything wrong and in alot of ways they are right. If a child is not taught to behave don't think they will learn in school. If a parent doesn't make time to be active in a childs education then well, that parent chooses to show the child it's not important. I agree. I was a single, working mother of a child in school in the 90s. I had a lot of responsibilities and no one to offload them to. MY biggest frustration with our particular school was that most things did not come home in my daughter's folder, but were announced at the various parent gatherings that took place during work hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Holy out of context, Batman! That is after multiple paragraphs on putting our tasks on someone else's plate: Yes, EVEN if you are the only one with all the responsibilities at home. I agree. I was a single, working mother of a child in school in the 90s. I had a lot of responsibilities and no one to offload them to. MY biggest frustration with our particular school was that most things did not come home in my daughter's folder, but were announced at the various parent gatherings that took place during work hours. I know RIGHT! GRRRR I still get mad at this. We keep up with everything possible but if we can't make a parent meeting then forget it. This always made me so angry. Between work and school it was always five when I got done and the parent meetings were always right after school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 (edited) I think she meant that even the busiest parents who are stretched thin and have the most on their plates to deal with (i.e., single moms) can still take the time to make sure kids do homework and stay on top of what they're supposed to be doing at school. I didn't take it as an insult to single moms. Edited August 10, 2011 by WordGirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 (edited) See, you got a message out of it that was totally lost on me. I don't think I do well with op-ed pieces that are broad brushed generalized, I just can't ingest them as they were (I think?) intended. The isolation of one social group there (single/divorced moms) really spun me out. Seriously, did she mean to say that moms like this are more likely to be too weak or burdened to contribute to their child's education? Why did she pick that one as an example? I'll show you how stupid I am..when she talked about the stress of teachers performing lice checks and active shooter drills..I thought she was talking about basketball practice. lol Edited August 10, 2011 by one*mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Probably because she had already discussed offloading to spouses or hiring in maids and wanted to clarify that even when your plate was completely full you need to make it a priority. I don't think the article is well written, I just don't see it as promoting a stereotype. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 Ah, this is driving me batty, I feel like I'm in first grade suddenly. I can see all the pov's out there and none of your first experiences with it match my initial reading at all. Do you think that the teaching profession was stereotyped in it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappyhappymama Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Just like any other job, some teachers put more effort and passion into their work than others. (acceptable pov) When test scores drop, we blame the teachers. (um, no, I don't blame a teacher) When school systems are convicted of cheating, we blame the teachers. (again, no, I don't blame a teacher) When our children do not understand certain subjects, we blame the teachers.(never done this a day in my life) When our children have problems with bullies, a low self-esteem or hate school－we blame the teachers. (no, that's my job to deal with) By the time I got down to the "mom" comment, I was completely bewildered and wondering where is this person coming from, the disconnection was so strong by then. I think there is a difference in perspective. Teachers get a lot of flak, both on these boards and in society generally. If they aren't getting flak for the things she listed in this paragraph, then for what? You personally may not blame teachers for these issues in schools, but I think it is a pretty common point of view, whether justified or not. And really, I have a hard time believing that if your child was being bullied at school, you wouldn't hold the teacher or other adults in authority to account? You may want to deal with it yourself, but if you're not there...? :confused: In any case, if you already believe in and practice a collaborative effort between parents and teachers and administrators, then you're probably not the target audience of this piece, but rather an example of the mutual cooperation the author is advocating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 Nope, I wouldn't hold a teacher or school responsible if my child was bullied, had an issue of low self-esteem or hated school. I don't see those issues as part of their structure. That's really deal with it in the home stuff. I see the issue of "bullying" as a legal issue. I see "low self-esteem" as a psychological issue that involves myself and other intimate/outside supports as the solution...and I mean a church and doctors and family as the place to go for that. I see "hated school" as an immediate trip to an educational psychologist for neutral grounds for discovery and solution. I do recognize in the above three a place and time for a school to be involved or aware, but it's definitely in the basement for effectiveness and responsible parties from where I sit today. Man, I must be a fruitloop. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*lifeoftheparty* Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 (edited) I'm seriously wondering if that article came out of India or something. Are there people still walking around today thinking this way? The article is from Georgia, and yes, there are plenty of people who still think that way, especially there. I moved to North Georgia.... when I was in.... 6th grade.... so.... uh, let's see......1991-92, or thereabouts. We were talking after band class one day and racism came up, and do you know that ALL of these kids sitting with me HONESTLY believed and had been TAUGHT that "all black people are cursed and going to hell, b/c of that guy back in the Bible who didn't obey God, and he was thrown in the fire. But he didn't die, he lived, but his skin was turned black and he's the ancestor of all black people and they are all cursed b/c of him, and they are going to hell". MY JAW FELL ABOUT 10 FEET!!! Seriously. It was like traveling back to 1950, and not in a good way. That's also why, 3 years later, when I started dating a black guy, I had friends who weren't allowed to associate with me anymore.... cause I was going to hell too. :glare: So, yes, there are TONS of people who still believe that way AND WORSE. ETA: I agree with people who didn't really see the author as saying anything wrong, but I see why you did, and know that even though the AUTHOR may not have meant anything by it... there ARE people who would think that way. Edited August 11, 2011 by Gao Meixue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSNative Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 The article is from Georgia, and yes, there are plenty of people who still think that way, especially there. I moved to North Georgia.... when I was in.... 6th grade.... so.... uh, let's see......1991-92, or thereabouts. We were talking after band class one day and racism came up, and do you know that ALL of these kids sitting with me HONESTLY believed and had been TAUGHT that "all black people are cursed and going to hell, b/c of that guy back in the Bible who didn't obey God, and he was thrown in the fire. But he didn't die, he lived, but his skin was turned black and he's the ancestor of all black people and they are all cursed b/c of him, and they are going to hell". MY JAW FELL ABOUT 10 FEET!!! Seriously. It was like traveling back to 1950, and not in a good way. That's also why, 3 years later, when I started dating a black guy, I had friends who weren't allowed to associate with me anymore.... cause I was going to hell too. :glare: So, yes, there are TONS of people who still believe that way AND WORSE. ETA: I agree with people who didn't really see the author as saying anything wrong, but I see why you did, and know that even though the AUTHOR may not have meant anything by it... there ARE people who would think that way. Really? (Not meaning I don't believe you - expressing shock!) I was in South GA in 5th and 6th (a few years, ahem, before you...feeling old) and we didn't get that message at all. We were in school with black students and black teachers. Never had any experience like what you are describing. We had sleep overs with black kids. No one thought anything about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
9763653 Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Ridiculous stereotyping. http://acworth.patch.com/articles/education-starts-at-home From the article: Even if you are a single or divorced mother, it is not that difficult to check whether or not your child has homework and to make sure that he does it to the best of his ability. Seriously, didn't we get over this back in like 1970? Geesh! Even if you are not a proper journalist, it is not that difficult to check whether your article contains any logical fallacies or offensive statements. Or is it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*lifeoftheparty* Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Really? (Not meaning I don't believe you - expressing shock!) I was in South GA in 5th and 6th (a few years, ahem, before you...feeling old) and we didn't get that message at all. We were in school with black students and black teachers. Never had any experience like what you are describing. We had sleep overs with black kids. No one thought anything about it. Yes, really. There were less than 10 black children in the entire school, they were all related. It was extremely noticeable b/c I am originally from New Orleans, which has a much higher AA population. Before moving up to the mountains, we lived in Riverdale (outside Atlanta), and it was very diverse and I don't remember any racism. This was up in the mountains. The whole place was completely backwards and I HATED it there. But my dad liked it, so we stayed. It's why I always caution people to not think that moving from the city to rural areas is always better. Sometimes, Mayberry isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 I'm not actually sure that it IS easy to know whether a child has homework or not. How does that work? What if he forgets, or lies? When I was a kid I would have been totally embarrassed not to finish an assignment, but I was somewhat unique in that regard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth in MN Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Did anyone else comment on the article? I have and it's not up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iluvmy4blessings Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 I think the person that wrote this article is a teacher quite honestly. And maybe a little burned out :001_huh:. I agree with the author's opinion that we can't expect teachers to do everything. And if our kids have bad test scores then we can't only blame the teacher. As far as I'm concerned the current educational system in America is set up in such a way that it's utterly amazing to me if a child can learn ANYTHING at all! It's a credit to the human brain more than anything else that children can learn to read at all in a classroom with 30 plus kids and 1 teacher plus multiple distractions. I *used* to be a teacher. It's more crowd control than anything else. I do disagree with the author's statement regarding bullying. In fact, I disagree with it strongly. I do believe it is the teacher's responsibility to monitor what is happening socially and not allow bullying. As a teacher, I saw so many other teachers turning a blind eye to bullying. In fact, I even saw many of them laughing along with the kids!! I found my primary job as a teacher being protector of the bullied. Bullying is a major issue in the schools and teachers spend too much time sitting on the bench talking with their co-workers while children's lives are ruined by bullies. I feel I have the right to say that as a former teacher having been in the trenches :) I did not bond as well with other teachers b/c I spent my time surveying these situations rather than ignoring them. I'm also a single parent and I agree with you that the statement made in the article was ignorant. To imply single parents do LESS than other parents is ironic considering we do double! Sounds like this author is a teacher who may have had a parent use the "I'm a single parent" excuse one too many times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 Kids of single dads, on the other hand, get a pass. We can't expect men to look after children. /sarcasm Okay, slight hijack. When I went out of town for two days to visit my mother everyone was asking what I did with my children. When my nephew had to visit the er and stay the night at the hospital everyone was asking what I did with the children. Seriously! They were with their father. No, I didn't leave a freezer full of food or detailed instructions on how to diaper a toddler. I figured that he's a big boy and they wouldn't starve. Why do we expect men to be walking Peter Pans? Off soapbox, carry on with regularly scheduled thread.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 In the statement in question, the author should have put more thought into what she wrote. It would have been a less controversial statement if she'd written, "Even if you are a single or divorced parent" And the point of the article was not to be sexist but to point out that we as parents are responsible for raising our own kids, not the schools. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 I'm a former single mom. I think the inherent bias against single parenting is often overlooked unless you've been a single parent. What I object to more are the assumptions I've seen in this thread and the article (and other places over the years): 1. By school teachers who assume they know how to do better than parents, and who make sweeping generalizations about parenting, homework, and homes. 2. By homeschoolers who assume the worst of both teachers and families who utilize schools. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 (edited) I thought the overall article was written poorly and with a bad attitude toward parents. Is that writer even a parent herself? I tried to find her profile, but I couldn't find any info. Where are all these parents she's talking about who think once we give birth, we can just sit back and let everyone else raise our kids? I don't know any. I do agree that the "single mom" comment was probably in response to an excuse she's heard. But the way she said it out of the blue like that was ignorant. I'm a single mom, my kids' only parent (no part-time dad nor child support in the picture). Obviously I work and take care of the house, finances, bla bla bla; and shock of shocks, I also give a dang about my kids. I don't think I'm particularly unique in that respect. So I agree that being a single mom is no excuse for being completely clueless about how your kid is doing in school. I also think the school/government encourage this attitude, though. By providing most of the child's food each day, making rules that prevent parents from deciding things, and in many other ways, the state is taking over more and more of the role of parents, so how can they complain when parents basically go with the flow? [ETA: It's not like the schools welcome parents' meddling requests to individualize anything to our children.] And on the other hand, sometimes articles like this make me wonder why we spend so much tax money on public schools in the first place. I'm so sick of hearing about how "everything" is the parent's responsibility. Teach your kids before they go to school, do their homework and correct it every night, pay more and more fees, be forced to donate volunteer time, and still accept the fact that the school isn't going to work with your child as an individual? At some point the costs outweigh the benefits of public education, so how about they just give us our money back and find something else to do, since they hate us, our kids, and their jobs so much anyway? I understand that there are good teachers out there, but the ones who whine all the time fail to earn my sympathy. So one*mom, I share your disgust for this article, on many levels. Edited September 10, 2011 by SKL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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