Counselor letter - specific questions about tone

[mooooom]

I finally finished my first counselor letter and had a friend read it. She had two main objections:

 

She doesn't think that I should make any reference to myself as mom/teacher - as in, make it seem as much like a public school counselor would as possible

 

and

 

don't mention anything negative

 

 

I tried googling and the only comments I could find online were to be brutally honest and to balance out the positives and negatives.

 

Now I am unsure which way I lean.

[regentrude]

Not having been there yet, but I feel that mentioning negatives gives more weight to the positives. I would think a glowing, all positive letter from a mom will be taken with quite a few grains of salt - whereas a letter that seems more balanced makes the positives more believable. Does that make sense?

[8filltheheart]

I include negatives, especially when they are hurdles the students have worked hard at compensating for or overcoming (you know the whole "strength in weaknesses" answer for interviewing)

[Kareni]

I tend to disagree with your friend's remarks. I think it would be difficult to compose an accurate letter of your child's homeschooling experiences if you ignore the fact that homeschooling took place by sounding as much like a public school counselor as possible. I also find that including a negative gives more balance to the letter as a whole. (Though I certainly tried to give a positive spin to that negative in the counselor letter that I wrote.)

 

Regards,

Kareni

[LibraryLover]

Is this going to be his only letter? I've spoken to several college admissions folks and they do not give much weight to parent letters. They've stressed repeatedly that one must have references from others. If your child has had a job or done volunteer work, has taken any lessons of any kind, been tutored etc., you should ask those folks for references.

Edited August 11, 2011 by LibraryLover

[Kareni]

One further comment that I neglected to include above:

 

In the counselor letter that I wrote, I also included some comments from other instructors who had taught my daughter. One of the comments came from a tutor whose feedback I had solicited at the end of their year together. Other comments I culled from a letter of recommendation that had been shared with my daughter by an instructor who wrote it for a summer program.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[LibraryLover]

One further comment that I neglected to include above:

 

In the counselor letter that I wrote, I also included some comments from other instructors who had taught my daughter. One of the comments came from a tutor whose feedback I had solicited at the end of their year together. Other comments I culled from a letter of recommendation that had been shared with my daughter by an instructor who wrote it for a summer program.

 

Regards,

Kareni

 

 

Those folks should write their own letters. You can say they said anything, kwim? It should come privately from the teacher/tutor/employer.

 

Teacher recommendations from high schools come straight from the school/guidance office, not via the family in the main application. There is a reason for this. :)

[mooooom]

that they will have other references. My understanding was that I was supposed to write a counselor letter. It will also include our homeschool philosophy/info about how we schooled.

[Kareni]

In the counselor letter that I wrote, I also included some comments from other instructors who had taught my daughter. One of the comments came from a tutor whose feedback I had solicited at the end of their year together. Other comments I culled from a letter of recommendation that had been shared with my daughter by an instructor who wrote it for a summer program.

 

 

Those folks should write their own letters. You can say they said anything, kwim? It should come privately from the teacher/tutor/employer.

 

Teacher recommendations from high schools come straight from the school/guidance office, not via the family in the main application. There is a reason for this. :)

 

My daughter did submit additional letters of reference from two out of the home instructors as well as a non-academic letter of recommendation from her employer of three summers. The comments I included were from other instructors who she had been taught by in 9th and 10th grades. Some colleges do limit the number of letters of recommendation that can be submitted with an application, so this felt like a good method of incorporating some valuable feedback.

 

I have seen letters of recommendation from high school counselors which include teacher comments. This doesn't surprise me as I imagine that in many schools -- particularly larger ones -- it would be the rare counselor who could comment at depth about an individual student.

 

Regards,

Kareni