If you belong to a religious group: how active is the men's group?

[momofkhm]

DH has recently become disenchanted with our church. His reasons are three-fold, but only one is important for my question:

 

There is nothing going on at our church in terms of men's ministry. They used to meet once a week for breakfast and study, but they haven't done that for years.

 

If you belong to a religious group, does your group have a men's group/ministry and what do they do? I'm asking specifically if you meet with a religious large group at least weekly. Though we are Christian, Christians don't have a monopoly on men's groups or on helping others so I'm asking for all religious groups. (Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, ??) I think dh is remembering growing up in a Catholic church and Knights of Columbus getting out and doing things. And I think he wishes our church did that.

 

Thanks!

[justasque]

Has he thought about starting a group? Sometimes all it takes is one person to say "hey, let's get together" to make things happen. Once there is a regular gathering, all kinds of things can spin off from that. He could ask three or four guys he thinks would be up for it, talk with them about what such a group could look like, and go from there. It can start small and casual (ie no officers or treasury - just pick-up activities) to make it easier to get it going.

[luvnlattes]

Our church has a once a week study type thing also but I'm not sure how many men attend.

 

In addition to that they have a monthly breakfast meeting with a speaker. Sometimes the speaker is in person (often someone within the church), sometimes it's a video.

 

This summer they've tried to do some additional outings like a hike, a golf tournament, and a "meat and skeet" event.

 

We got a new adult ministries pastor a couple of years ago and he's been actively trying to get some more activities going for the men.

[justamouse]

The Knights of Columbus are extremely active in our parish.

[pahansen]

Has he thought about starting a group? Sometimes all it takes is one person to say "hey, let's get together" to make things happen. Once there is a regular gathering, all kinds of things can spin off from that.

 

I totally agree. I wanted a women's Bible study, so I said, "Hey -- wouldn't it be neat to have a women's Bible study?" Because there was already a regular Bible study, and because I wanted it to be mostly about building relationships (and a little lighthearted) we read and discussed Bad Girls of the Bible, which was enjoyable and enlightening. (And piqued a lot of people's interest!) In all fairness, I was qualified to lead a Bible study -- not everyone would be able to do that. We did that for two years, but there's a new ministry that started this spring that's competing for the same people's time, plus I had a baby. It seemed wise to discontinue the study, but we're still planning to get together for dinner/coffee and fellowship once a month this fall. So it's changed over time, but it's still good. Plus I got to know a handful of women really well, which was my real goal.

 

On the other hand, they tried the same thing with a quarterly Men's Prayer Breakfast. Our church is predominantly female, and my husband was very excited. He also wanted a chance to build closer relationships with the men of the church. It started out well, but at the second breakfast the pastor's wife and (adult) daughter decided to go as well, but sit in a different section of the restaurant. Then more wives started attending. The reasoning went, "Why should they get to have all the fun?" So now we have a quarterly breakfast for anyone who wants to go. It's almost all women, and we're back to square one with men's ministries.

 

Sometimes I think we women are our own worst enemies.

 

--Pamela

[mommaduck]

There's no "men's group". In fact, there's no "women's group" either, other than a couple of book and Bible studies.

[milovany]

We don't have an official men's group, but I can say that we have never been in a church where the men are strengthened and encouraged and enabled to grow spiritually than in the church we are a part of now (we are now Eastern Orthodox Christians). And this isn't just our parish; it seems pretty common within Orthodoxy. We do have outside activities, but it's the Divine Liturgy, the other services and the sacraments received as part of the services that affect this growth. My dh is thrilled in this respect with where we are.

Edited August 8, 2011 by milovaný

[Daisy]

Nondenominational church. Our men's group does a lot. Actually it annoys my husband how often they get together because he would rather they put more focus on family events.

 

Monthly men's breakfast

Weekly men's Bible study

Yearly men's retreat

Yearly trip down to see the Dodgers play.

Yearly men's fishing trip

Yearly golf tournament

Men's work days at the church

Hands of Mercy missions trips

 

So there are weekly and monthly events and than every 3 months or so is a bigger all day long type event.

 

We get frustrated that most of the events in our church are segregated by age or sex. If we felt like it, our family could be divided up every single night of the week at our church. Just doesn't seem very family friendly.

[SonshineLearner]

We have "Men's Fraternity" at our church. IT's a bit hard for me because he has to wake up early, and it puts him in a bit of a "sleep deprived" mood. But, the time can be set at whatever time the group wants. For our church, most wanted like 6am so they can get back for their families. I'd rather have it so that he got back at say 9 or 10 and had been able to sleep in a bit. (he has to wake up early every day for work) Anyway, he enjoys it and they've been doing it for 3 years, I think. They had a main group, then did the same study again for "new guys" and I think they're moving it to the next series. It helps keep him accountable and motivated. It makes him want to back to church.... we'll probably end up going back there. I just don't feel much connection to the church, and don't have an interest in doing things with the ladies of the church. Oh well :(

[Parrothead]

Dh is a Knight. They are pretty active at our current parish.

[MamaSheep]

In our church the men's and women's groups meet separately after the main worship service each week for a study and discussion type class. The various men's groups also have other kinds of social and service get-togethers periodically as decided by the local leadership. Also they (theoretically, but not always consistently in practice) get together in pairs and meet with assigned families in their homes to share a gospel message and make sure each family has what they need. Most men in our church are part of the lay priesthood and help with day to day operations of the church in some way as well. They're pretty involved, imo.

[NicAnn]

Our situation is a little different than what you are asking, but I'm going to respond anyway. :)

 

The men in my congregation are very active, outside of their Kingdom preaching work (we are Jehovah's Witnesses). In addition to our 2 weekly meetings, a group of the younger family men get together for their own study. A group of the widowed men do the same...although I don't think they meet weekly anymore. The congregation gets together all the time for parties/celebration, picnics, occasionally bowling or something similar. It's really quite a bit of fellowship now that I type it out.

 

:)

[fhjmom]

Our church has a very active men's ministry, they have several options for weekly men's Bible study. They also have a yearly men's retreat, and several other groups that appeal more to men: a motorcycle group, a group that restores classic cars (they work on a project car then sell it and donate proceeds to one of the church ministries), outdoor activities (one is a rafting trip especially for fathers and kids), golf tournaments, ... They also have "handy-man" work days at church and for the older members that may have small fix-it jobs. It seems like they are always doing something, but we also have a very active women's ministry and plenty of opportunities for families, too.

 

A few years ago, I read the book Wild At Heart (read it when I was a single-mom to a boy) that really opened my eyes to ways the modern church does not necessarily meet the needs of men and allow them to serve and fellowship in the way that God created them to be. It was an interesting read and our recreation minister is the one who recommended it to me. He is now also the driving force behind our men's ministry, so I have wondered if that book was the impetus for the expansion of our men's ministry (it was almost non-existent at that time).

[momofkhm]

They also have "handy-man" work days at church and for the older members that may have small fix-it jobs.

 

This is what dh wants, specifically.

 

A few years ago, I read the book Wild At Heart (read it when I was a single-mom to a boy) that really opened my eyes to ways the modern church does not necessarily meet the needs of men and allow them to serve and fellowship in the way that God created them to be.

 

DH read this book with a group, not church. Maybe we need to get some people at church to read it?

[milovany]

Here's an article called Men and Church I was thinking of earlier when I typed my post. It better describes what I tried so poorly to say in my own words.