4 1/2 yo with anxiety?

[Green Vixen]

Hi everyone,

 

I am worried about my 4 1/2 yo son. Since late April/early May he has been going down hill emotionally. He is normally very social, outgoing, easy to get along with, and physically active. All of this has changed :-(

 

Now he gets up in the morning and just plays with his Lego's, he never wants to play outside. Any physical activity he gets is him being out of control and hurting those around him. He seems tired all of the time and carries his little blanket everywhere (his comfort item). It is like a complete personality change! My dh and I thought it was a growth spurt at first, then we thought maybe he was getting sick but it hasn't gone away.

 

We had his iron checked to see if he was anemic, but the labs looked fine. A few days ago we met with a Play Therapist who mentioned he might have anxiety. Does anyone have a child this age with anxiety? It seems so young. I just want my normal little boy back. My heart is breaking for him.

 

Marisa

[Guest]

Of course a million things could be going on and it's absolutely impossible for an outsider to really know your son... but I read your blog, and there's a post in April in which you mention his beginning to become very aware of your illness/tiredness and wanting to help make you well again. This ties in so closely with the dates you mention as the start of his changing that I would suspect the two are linked.

 

Although I'm sure you will keep following up with medical stuff, you might want to consider family therapy or a child psychologist who could ascertain if the underlying cause is his growing awareness and his worries.

 

I have dd with an anxiety disorder -- part of being an Aspie, in her case -- so I sympathize utterly with your sadness at seeing the change in your son and wish you all the best in helping him through this.

[Abbeygirlsouth]

Marissa, my heart goes out to you, it really does. I too have lived with FM, CFS, and a non specific connective tissue issue since my son was about 2. He was a very sensitive and precocious little boy and began to notice that I was ill at about 4 1/2 years old. He is now 18, and amazingly we continued to homeschool throughout.

 

If I could do it all again, I would have allowed him to meet with our church counselors who were specialized in helping young children through trauma (our church has a unique ministry of counseling) while he was very young. The thing is, I never realized that my illness affected him to the degree it did, even though in retrospect I remember a few times of anxiety, and depression that we always managed to help him through.

 

However, during his sophomore year we began to see extreme changes (withdrawal, fear, anger) in him, and of course we did take him in for a complete physical, but eventually found through counseling that so much of his anger was based in the fact that he grew up with, and was home schooled by a "sick mom." It was painful to hear this, and for 2 years we worked through it all, but he did finally resolve the helplessness he felt as a child, and I was able to resolve the unnecessary guilt that I felt.

 

Even if you find that there is a physiological issue, my advice would be to allow your son access to a child psychologist/counselor to help him work through any possible concerns he may have. IF it is something emotional he is going through, it may have nothing to do with your illness, but that was just something that DS said he wished he had done earlier....talk to someone about his feelings. :grouphug:

[PrincessAriel]

:grouphug: I am so sorry you are going through this. I have a child just diagnosed with anxiety (10 yo dd) and it has been pretty severe this summer. As we look back, there were definite signs at much younger ages that this was already an issue back then. However, in spite of three evaluations over the years, the anxiety was never identified. I would encourage you to address it now as it will probably only progress with time. This may sound strange, but consider it a gift that you have found this out while he is so young. I think a skilled play therapist would be able to help him work through it and also provide you with tools to deal with it as a parent. Good luck to you!

[TracyR]

With such a personality change has he had his thyroid checked? Its the tired thing and personality change that caught my eye.

[Green Vixen]

Of course a million things could be going on and it's absolutely impossible for an outsider to really know your son... but I read your blog, and there's a post in April in which you mention his beginning to become very aware of your illness/tiredness and wanting to help make you well again. This ties in so closely with the dates you mention as the start of his changing that I would suspect the two are linked.

 

Although I'm sure you will keep following up with medical stuff, you might want to consider family therapy or a child psychologist who could ascertain if the underlying cause is his growing awareness and his worries.

 

I have dd with an anxiety disorder -- part of being an Aspie, in her case -- so I sympathize utterly with your sadness at seeing the change in your son and wish you all the best in helping him through this.

 

Hi KarenAnne,

 

Thank you for pointing out the timeline of his realize that "mommy is sick". Sometimes it is good for an outsider to take a look because they can see things from a different angle. We are so caught up in the day to day events that we forget the bigger ones that happen. He probably has a leaning towards anxiety from genetics and I'm sure my health problems, and all of the changes that have occurred the past few years don't help.

 

We were able to get him into a play therapist yesterday and she said he "had a lot on things on his mind" and she thought play therapy could help him. I'm sorry to hear your dd deals with this as well (((hugs))). It is so hard as a parent to watch your children struggle at such a young age.

 

Marisa

[Green Vixen]

Marissa, my heart goes out to you, it really does. I too have lived with FM, CFS, and a non specific connective tissue issue since my son was about 2. He was a very sensitive and precocious little boy and began to notice that I was ill at about 4 1/2 years old. He is now 18, and amazingly we continued to homeschool throughout.

 

If I could do it all again, I would have allowed him to meet with our church counselors who were specialized in helping young children through trauma (our church has a unique ministry of counseling) while he was very young. The thing is, I never realized that my illness affected him to the degree it did, even though in retrospect I remember a few times of anxiety, and depression that we always managed to help him through.

 

However, during his sophomore year we began to see extreme changes (withdrawal, fear, anger) in him, and of course we did take him in for a complete physical, but eventually found through counseling that so much of his anger was based in the fact that he grew up with, and was home schooled by a "sick mom." It was painful to hear this, and for 2 years we worked through it all, but he did finally resolve the helplessness he felt as a child, and I was able to resolve the unnecessary guilt that I felt.

 

Even if you find that there is a physiological issue, my advice would be to allow your son access to a child psychologist/counselor to help him work through any possible concerns he may have. IF it is something emotional he is going through, it may have nothing to do with your illness, but that was just something that DS said he wished he had done earlier....talk to someone about his feelings. :grouphug:

 

Thanks Abbeygirlsouth for your reply! We got him into a play therapist yesterday and he will continue to see her weekly for a while. If you don't mind I may PM you, it is hard to find someone in such a similar situation.

 

(((hugs))),

 

Marisa

[Green Vixen]

:grouphug: I am so sorry you are going through this. I have a child just diagnosed with anxiety (10 yo dd) and it has been pretty severe this summer. As we look back, there were definite signs at much younger ages that this was already an issue back then. However, in spite of three evaluations over the years, the anxiety was never identified. I would encourage you to address it now as it will probably only progress with time. This may sound strange, but consider it a gift that you have found this out while he is so young. I think a skilled play therapist would be able to help him work through it and also provide you with tools to deal with it as a parent. Good luck to you!

 

Thanks MomofC&A for putting a positive light on the situation! I am sorry it took so long for your daughter to be diagnosed correctly, those must have been some difficult years :-( We have found a really great play therapist that he will start seeing weekly. I hope it will help, and it already makes dealing with him easier since now we know what is going on. Before it was so scary because we didn't know what we were dealing with. Thanks again!

 

Marisa

[Green Vixen]

With such a personality change has he had his thyroid checked? Its the tired thing and personality change that caught my eye.

 

Hi TracyR,

 

Thanks for the idea! He has his check up next month and we will mention it to his Pediatrician.

 

Marisa

[hollyandab]

I have anxiety disorder/OCD and grew up not knowing what was wrong with me. It wasn't until I was in my mid-twenties that I got help. Because this is hereditary, I kept an eye out for the signs of OCD/AD with my boys. One of them started showing signs when he was about 5 or so. It's hard to see anxiety in a 5 yr old, but he started having verbal and physical ticks. I took him to our family doctor, who knew my background, and immediately she put him on a very low dose of Prozac. This did help with the ticks, but as he grew older, he started exhibiting more signs, such as extreme, unreasonable fear and constant hand-washing. That was scary, seeing a 7 yr old freaking out over germs. I never had that phobia, so it's not like he ever saw me or anyone else doing that. It is such a strange disorder. We had to keep adjusting his medicine, and between that and discussing/talking about it with him, he is doing great. He still has his struggles, but I am so thankful that I was able to see the signs early, and thankful for docs and meds to treat him.

 

I don't know whether or not this is what your son has, but definitely do not ignore it or assume he'll outgrow it. I internalized mine. No one knew what I was going through. They were all shocked when I told them as an adult. You don't want your son to start internalizing any problems or thoughts. It's best to be very open and let him know that, if it is an anxiety problem, it is a physical problem that can be treated.

 

I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope that you find the right dr. or counselor to help you figure this out. But, yes, 4 1/2 yr old kiddos can have these problems.

 

Blessings,

Holly

[Rebookie]

I'm thinking of you and your little fella tonight. <3

[Rebecca VA]

You might also ask your doctor to check for Lyme Disease. My 14-year-old was diagnosed with this several months ago and has still not recovered, in spite of being on two antibiotics. She is normally bouncy and cheerful, and this summer she has been markedly quieter. She doesn't feel like doing her normal activities. It almost looks like depression, but she's not depressed. She just doesn't feel well.

[Green Vixen]

I have anxiety disorder/OCD and grew up not knowing what was wrong with me. It wasn't until I was in my mid-twenties that I got help. Because this is hereditary, I kept an eye out for the signs of OCD/AD with my boys. One of them started showing signs when he was about 5 or so. It's hard to see anxiety in a 5 yr old, but he started having verbal and physical ticks. I took him to our family doctor, who knew my background, and immediately she put him on a very low dose of Prozac. This did help with the ticks, but as he grew older, he started exhibiting more signs, such as extreme, unreasonable fear and constant hand-washing. That was scary, seeing a 7 yr old freaking out over germs. I never had that phobia, so it's not like he ever saw me or anyone else doing that. It is such a strange disorder. We had to keep adjusting his medicine, and between that and discussing/talking about it with him, he is doing great. He still has his struggles, but I am so thankful that I was able to see the signs early, and thankful for docs and meds to treat him.

 

I don't know whether or not this is what your son has, but definitely do not ignore it or assume he'll outgrow it. I internalized mine. No one knew what I was going through. They were all shocked when I told them as an adult. You don't want your son to start internalizing any problems or thoughts. It's best to be very open and let him know that, if it is an anxiety problem, it is a physical problem that can be treated.

 

I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope that you find the right dr. or counselor to help you figure this out. But, yes, 4 1/2 yr old kiddos can have these problems.

 

Blessings,

Holly

 

Thank you Holly for your reply! I also have anxiety and had it as a young child though I am just realizing that is what it was. It is so hard to watch my ds struggle with some of the problems I did at that age, as I am sure it is for you :grouphug:.

 

He was able to meet with his play therapist last week and he seemed to enjoy it. Her and I only had a moment to talk but she said "he had a lot on his mind, and a lot of concerns" and thought the play therapy should help. She also mentioned Prozac when she heard I had anxiety and that it could be hereditary, but said we should give the play therapy a shot first.

 

Has Prozac helped your son? I must say I was shocked when she mentioned it because I never dreamed of putting my child on any type of medication. Now that I have had a while to really think about it I am considering it if the PT doesn't help. I was unschooled as a child so I had very little stress and I was still anxious about everything, I wonder if Prozac would have helped me?

 

I am so glad your son is doing better! Take care and thanks again for sharing your experience!

 

Marisa

[Green Vixen]

I'm thinking of you and your little fella tonight. <3

 

Thank you Rebecca!!!

 

Marisa

[Green Vixen]

You might also ask your doctor to check for Lyme Disease. My 14-year-old was diagnosed with this several months ago and has still not recovered, in spite of being on two antibiotics. She is normally bouncy and cheerful, and this summer she has been markedly quieter. She doesn't feel like doing her normal activities. It almost looks like depression, but she's not depressed. She just doesn't feel well.

 

Thanks Rebecca for the suggestion! I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and a few other things so I've been looking for symptoms of those (which can be similar to Lymes). We live in Alaska and don't have ticks, it is too darn cold for them LOL!

 

I hope your daughter starts feeling better soon!

 

Marisa

[Green Vixen]

I really feel petty for your situation Marisa, and i replied to this post just to help you in some way. First note down the changes in little boy's activity. Also note the eating habits. Compare this with his previous habits.He might lack in some health.

 

Thanks Katie! We are also looking for any medical reason why he is feeling this way besides the anxiety, though my gut is telling me it is anxiety :-(

 

Marisa

[Barbara H]

Coming in very late but I wanted to toss out another idea to consider. It can be both anxiety AND a physical problem and both could run in the family. If you are open to the idea, it might be worth meeting with a natural medicine doctor who could look at possibilities such as gluten intolerance, Lyme's, or thyroid problems. These are often associated with CFS, fibromyalgia and arthritis.

[Tiramisu]

Thank you to the OP for deciding to post and to KarenAnne for sharing her insight. It's really opened my eyes to something that's been going on around here.

 

:grouphug:

 

It's never easy, is it?