Dh's job

[Aubrey]

1. I told you guys a while back that his co has an office in Denver. He checked a couple of months ago to make sure he'd be able to transfer there, & they said that would be fine.

 

2. We were supposed to move today, but Friday dh was told that the office in Denver doesn't use couriers (what he does); they use another courier co. But they'd be glad to give him a good reference & maybe that co would hire him. :svengo:

 

3. The guy who was supposed to give the reference & email dh the info never did. Mon dh tried to call him all day; no answer.

 

4. Tues: dh finds out the guy is out of town until Weds at 3pm.

 

5. I'm upset of course, but I've been ok until today. Waiting until 3 was excruciating. And since dh is working nights, he's sleeping days. I had to wait until his "day" began. No answer.

 

6. Dh says this guy will *usually* answer w/in 24 hrs, but there's no guarantee. Once he answers, what? IF he's done what he said he'd do, we're still basically waiting for a new co to hire dh. That *shouldn't* be a big deal, as dh's co is this courier co's biggest customer, dh has all the security badges, etc. But it's not the same as a simple transfer, & it sounds like it could still be a week easily.

 

7. Dh's boss is mad at him for leaving & sent corporate an email saying he quit. He hasn't quit yet. He yelled at dh because the co "just spent $150 renewing one of his certifications." The lady at corporate said that the co they deliver for pays that fee, not dh's co. She thought it was really weird that the guy was mad, too--as if dh had run off w/ the co's equipment or something.

 

8. More & more nights, dh is working 12-14 hrs & making only $50. From that, he pays his own gas & expenses & self-employment tax & has to pay for various fees the co requires ($15/week for his radio, even though they want him to have a cell phone, too).

 

9. There is no 9. But typing really hard on the computer helps a little. :lol:

 

So...WWYD?

Edited July 28, 2011 by Aubrey

[Hedgehog]

:grouphug: praying for y'all. :grouphug:

[Chris in VA]

Ugg. How extremely frustrating. I pm'd you. :grouphug:

[Barb_]

Oh honey, I wish there were something I could do from here. :grouphug: Typing "I'm so sorry," seems so worthless.

 

Barb

[1bassoon]

You have GOT to be kidding me.

 

Really?

 

Ugh. Tearing my hair out on your behalf.

 

That stinks.

 

Why don't you and your family move here, live in my basement, we'll start a hippie commune and really give my neighbors something to complain about.

 

Of course, my dh has no job, either. . . . . .

 

Like Barb said, "I'm so sorry" is so - pathetic. But really - I am.

[newlifemom]

Oh Aubrey! I am so sorry. :grouphug:

 

I wish I had more than that, but I really, truly am sorry.

[Aubrey]

You guys are so sweet. I almost didn't post because...well, how annoying to be that person. But you know, I tend to think these things get so bad they wrap around to being funny. Sometimes.

 

When dh just shrugged & said he'd try to call the guy again later tonight, I nearly lost it. But really, that's all dh can do. And I know he's not saying more because he's upset, & if I get upset that won't help. But by golly, there's got to come some point where we form our own Really Loud Cussing Choir. Or at least go get a box of brownies at the grocery store. But he's allergic to chocolate, so I don't guess that would help him.

 

I really don't mind the waiting as much as the not knowing. And worrying about dh. He always blows off breathing problems, & he worries so much about how my mom will effect me, that for him to face the issue w/ mom a few days ago by saying his breathing was really that bad...said a lot.

 

Yesterday, we talked about what we'd do if he couldn't transfer, & he said that the effect of the air quality on his breathing was scaring him. Oh my gosh, that's not my dh. Nothing health-related bothers him. His most dangerous health problem is his tendency to shrug things off. So otoh, waiting another week means living in this, working in this for another week. Ugh.

[Veritaserum]

:grouphug:

[elegantlion]

You know sitting in your mom's basement and breathing would be more profitable for your dh. :glare:

[Rosie_0801]

You know sitting in your mom's basement and breathing would be more profitable for your dh. :glare:

 

I agree.

 

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[texasmama]

You know sitting in your mom's basement and breathing would be more profitable for your dh. :glare:

 

:iagree:

[Mergath]

:grouphug: That has got to be unbelievably frustrating. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

 

Also, in situations like this, I recommend Ben and Jerries. Their new Bonaroo flavor is amazing. I mean, whiskey-flavored caramel. Can't go wrong with that.

[Mommy22alyns]

So, let me get this straight - you guys are all packed up and ready to move all the way to CO, and you were just told your DH doesn't have a job there?? Wow, that completely sucks. I'm sorry! :grouphug:

[Aubrey]

:grouphug: That has got to be unbelievably frustrating. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

 

Also, in situations like this, I recommend Ben and Jerries. Their new Bonaroo flavor is amazing. I mean, whiskey-flavored caramel. Can't go wrong with that.

 

Shoot. Now I wish I had a car.

[Aubrey]

So, let me get this straight - you guys are all packed up and ready to move all the way to CO, and you were just told your DH doesn't have a job there?? Wow, that completely sucks. I'm sorry! :grouphug:

 

Yup. I've posted other threads about this co. This isn't REALLY surprising, but...I'm a good sport. I can still manage to be surprised.

[Karen in CO]

:grouphug:

But you know, it is 71 here right now. Just make sure you close the door when you leave TX - don't want to let all the cold air out.

[KungFuPanda]

Would his skills transfer to another delivery-type company like the post office or UPS? They're business MUST be increasing with all of the online shopping people do now? Can he think of a one-off business where his skills would transfer so that he can cast a wider net, or maybe even find work until a more suitable job opens up for him?

 

$50 dollars for that many hours is insane. He'd make more in tips working in a restaurant AND he'd be inside.

 

KFP

[Pink Fairy]

But you know, I tend to think these things get so bad they wrap around to being funny. Sometimes.

 

 

I know what you mean. :( Are you familiar with "Fiddler on the Roof"? Tevye is great at finding the humor in unfunny situations. We're weird in my family, and like to throw out quotes from the movie when applicable. Here are a couple in case you need cheering up: :D

 

Dear God. Was that necessary? Did you have to make him lame just before the Sabbath? That wasn't nice. It's enough you pick on me. Bless me with five daughters, a life of poverty, that's all right. But what have you got against my horse? Really, sometimes I think, when things are too quiet up there, you say to yourself, "Let's see. What kind of mischief can I play on my friend, Tevye? "

 

As the Good Book says, "Heal us, O Lord, and we shall be healed." In other words, send us the cure. We've got the sickness already. Well, I'm not really complaining. After all, with your help, I'm starving to death. Oh, dear Lord! You made many, many poor people. I realise, of course, it's no shame to be poor. But it's no great honour either.

 

God knows what He is doing, but sometimes you just feel like asking, "Really? Really, Lord? Was that necessary?" Hang in there! :grouphug:

[Aubrey]

Would his skills transfer to another delivery-type company like the post office or UPS? They're business MUST be increasing with all of the online shopping people do now? Can he think of a one-off business where his skills would transfer so that he can cast a wider net, or maybe even find work until a more suitable job opens up for him?

 

$50 dollars for that many hours is insane. He'd make more in tips working in a restaurant AND he'd be inside.

 

KFP

 

He's looked at *everything.* He can't do a warehouse job because of his asthma, but otherwise, there's nothing he hasn't considered.

 

I KNOW that EVERYTHING pays more than this. (This never paid well, but used to pay a whole lot better.) But nobody. is. hiring. There are "Help Wanted" signs in every window, but all that means is "We're always accepting applications."

 

And fwiw, the "courier business" is hardly dh's "field." :001_smile: His degree is in history, & he was managing big business accounts when he was 21. He IS doing whatever he can find.

[Aubrey]

I know what you mean. :( Are you familiar with "Fiddler on the Roof"? Tevye is great at finding the humor in unfunny situations. We're weird in my family, and like to throw out quotes from the movie when applicable. Here are a couple in case you need cheering up: :D

 

Dear God. Was that necessary? Did you have to make him lame just before the Sabbath? That wasn't nice. It's enough you pick on me. Bless me with five daughters, a life of poverty, that's all right. But what have you got against my horse? Really, sometimes I think, when things are too quiet up there, you say to yourself, "Let's see. What kind of mischief can I play on my friend, Tevye? "

 

As the Good Book says, "Heal us, O Lord, and we shall be healed." In other words, send us the cure. We've got the sickness already. Well, I'm not really complaining. After all, with your help, I'm starving to death. Oh, dear Lord! You made many, many poor people. I realise, of course, it's no shame to be poor. But it's no great honour either.

 

God knows what He is doing, but sometimes you just feel like asking, "Really? Really, Lord? Was that necessary?" Hang in there! :grouphug:

 

It's been a LOOOOOOONG time since I've seen that movie. Maybe that's what we'll do...well, sometime. Since he's been working nights, our days are all wonky, too, & it feels like he's home more but I see him less.

[Aubrey]

I just talked to dh. Still no word from his supervisor. The funny thing is, to turn in his equipment, he'll HAVE to see the guy. (Supervisor works from home.)

 

Dh has been defending him this whole time: "He's one of the good guys." Makes me want to tear my hair out, but dh says "You don't know him." I don't HAVE to know him; you judge a guy by his ACTIONS, not his charm. :001_huh:

 

Anyway, at this point, dh thinks he might have been TOLD not to help/talk to dh. Supervisor's boss is the guy who's mad about dh leaving. :confused:

 

He can call the other co himself tomorrow; he was just hoping that this guy would actually call ahead w/ a reference like he said he would.

 

And then what? The trash guys keep skipping our house, so you know, hanging around here means we have more time to deal w/ that. Next Mon, I should just take everything that doesn't fit in the can & throw it down the street until the bag busts open. Then it will look just like it does when the trash guys DO take it. :lol:

 

(Our trash day is Mon. Last week they showed up on Tues. Face it the wrong way, & they won't take it--which made sense when I thought they had that claw attachment thing to pick it up, but no--dh saw the guy last week--he's just a guy on the back of the truck picking up cans & dumping them in. *sigh*)

[i.love.lucy]

:grouphug: No words. Just...no. words. :grouphug:

[Granny_Weatherwax]

:grouphug: No words. Just...no. words. :grouphug:

:iagree:

[LibraryLover]

:grouphug: Yikes. Sorry. Yuck.

[KungFuPanda]

You are in my prayers. I understand your frustration. My husband was jobless for 2 1/2 years. It was painfully frustrating and financially devastating.

 

KFP

[Diane in CO]

I'm sorry Aubrey...sometimes it is just too much :grouphug:

 

Diane

[jewellsmommy]

I hope things start looking up for you guys soon. :grouphug:

[Amber in AUS]

Thinking of you.

[Harriet Vane]

:grouphug:

[happypamama]

:grouphug: Good grief, you are seriously being tested these days! So frustrating!

[Aubrey]

The reality is that 'boss' doesn't want this employee/contractor or 'boss' is skimming $$ off the top of the courier's fee. 'Boss' knows what he is doing with the hours and fees and what that means to the worker's bottom line. Since worker is accepting it, worker is going to continue to see less and less. The 'mad' is just a game..don't take it personally. Your dh should consider being 'mad' right back and asserting that he's worth far more than he's being offered. Honestly, I'd decline the work if I wasn't making the customary wage for the job. Shucks, school bus driver here pays more and they're willing to train on the clock.

 

Best wishes for your dh's health to improve in the new climate.

 

Dh says the pay rate for his co is one of the best IF they'd pay it. But they do things like call a 35m trip 33m, change the pay structure for waiting time so that it's often free, make 2nd stops an extra $5-$10 instead of an entire extra pick-up, etc.

 

They've stripped the drivers' pay badly over the last year or so, but the real problem is that there isn't any work.

[Scarlett]

You know sitting in your mom's basement and breathing would be more profitable for your dh. :glare:

 

:iagree:

[Impish]

I'm so sorry. Prayers :grouphug:

[Aubrey]

I disagree, politely of course. The real problem is that when there is work, the co is not paying enough to the courier that he can cover his expenses and make minimum wage for the time put in...and the company knows this. They set the rates, they know the costs. Do you really want to be in business with them?

 

No! But a body doesn't just *quit* when he's got kids to feed. $150/day is about the bare min he needs to pay bills, pay gas, etc. For months now, he's been making $100/day or less. Still...you apply for other things & keep doing what you're doing because it's better than nothing. Maybe you were working 10 hrs/day, so you start working 12-14. You start working over night, 2-3 days at a time. Bills still *mostly* get paid, *mostly* on time.

 

The last week or two has been a new low. But I still don't know what to do.

[4kiddies]

MOVE! TODAY! GET IN THE CAR AND GO! It can't be any worse in CO than it is now, right?

[Tarreymere]

:grouphug: That has got to be unbelievably frustrating. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

 

Also, in situations like this, I recommend Ben and Jerries. Their new Bonaroo flavor is amazing. I mean, whiskey-flavored caramel. Can't go wrong with that.

 

 

Whiskey flavored caramel? I'm heading out the door.......

 

:grouphug:

[OLG]

Consider the possibilities in CO and consider how beaten down your husband is(and you) by being forced to stay in such a working environment. IT sounds like slave labor. A move/change might not be ideal yet it could be exactly what is needed to allow your dh to regain self respect. Sure, there will be new problems in CO. Sure there is uncertainty. There is also hope and potential opportunity and a fresh start. My heart goes out to both of you. This is so, so hard.

[Harriet Vane]

No! But a body doesn't just *quit* when he's got kids to feed. $150/day is about the bare min he needs to pay bills, pay gas, etc. For months now, he's been making $100/day or less. Still...you apply for other things & keep doing what you're doing because it's better than nothing. Maybe you were working 10 hrs/day, so you start working 12-14. You start working over night, 2-3 days at a time. Bills still *mostly* get paid, *mostly* on time.

 

The last week or two has been a new low. But I still don't know what to do.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[8circles]

Aubrey :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I've been reading your posts & wanting to post something but I just wish I could do more than that. I'll continue to pray for you all. If there's anything I could do I would.

[aggieamy]

MOVE! TODAY! GET IN THE CAR AND GO! It can't be any worse in CO than it is now, right?

 

Yep. Sounds like hanging around in Texas is doing nothing for you guys. Nothing. If he's going to get a reference from that guy he can get one just as easily in Colorado. Go. Go now.

[mommaduck]

1. I told you guys a while back that his co has an office in Denver. He checked a couple of months ago to make sure he'd be able to transfer there, & they said that would be fine.

 

2. We were supposed to move today, but Friday dh was told that the office in Denver doesn't use couriers (what he does); they use another courier co. But they'd be glad to give him a good reference & maybe that co would hire him. :svengo:

 

3. The guy who was supposed to give the reference & email dh the info never did. Mon dh tried to call him all day; no answer.

 

4. Tues: dh finds out the guy is out of town until Weds at 3pm.

 

5. I'm upset of course, but I've been ok until today. Waiting until 3 was excruciating. And since dh is working nights, he's sleeping days. I had to wait until his "day" began. No answer.

 

6. Dh says this guy will *usually* answer w/in 24 hrs, but there's no guarantee. Once he answers, what? IF he's done what he said he'd do, we're still basically waiting for a new co to hire dh. That *shouldn't* be a big deal, as dh's co is this courier co's biggest customer, dh has all the security badges, etc. But it's not the same as a simple transfer, & it sounds like it could still be a week easily.

 

7. Dh's boss is mad at him for leaving & sent corporate an email saying he quit. He hasn't quit yet. He yelled at dh because the co "just spent $150 renewing one of his certifications." The lady at corporate said that the co they deliver for pays that fee, not dh's co. She thought it was really weird that the guy was mad, too--as if dh had run off w/ the co's equipment or something.

 

8. More & more nights, dh is working 12-14 hrs & making only $50. From that, he pays his own gas & expenses & self-employment tax & has to pay for various fees the co requires ($15/week for his radio, even though they want him to have a cell phone, too).

 

9. There is no 9. But typing really hard on the computer helps a little. :lol:

 

So...WWYD?

 

Get out of the courier business! Seriously, he could work in a factory through a temp service and make more money!

[Scarlett]

MOVE! TODAY! GET IN THE CAR AND GO! It can't be any worse in CO than it is now, right?

 

This is what I think too. How could it be worse? You have your mom to stay with, your dh can breathe better and the job market might be MUCH better there.

[Aubrey]

Consider the possibilities in CO and consider how beaten down your husband is(and you) by being forced to stay in such a working environment. IT sounds like slave labor. A move/change might not be ideal yet it could be exactly what is needed to allow your dh to regain self respect. Sure, there will be new problems in CO. Sure there is uncertainty. There is also hope and potential opportunity and a fresh start. My heart goes out to both of you. This is so, so hard.

 

Usually when work dries up, it gets better later. We're just SO good at making bad decisions, I don't want to look back a year from now & go, "Wow. WHAT were we thinking???"

 

Otoh, I don't want to qualify for any widow's benefits, either.

[Aubrey]

I understand. What I've seen people do is not work the extra at low wages, but use that time to launch their own low overhead business

 

Tried that.

 

or work for a friend on the weekend,

 

Doing what? No one else has any $, either, & the only jobs *I* could think of are outdoors, which dh can't do.

 

or get a certificate at night which digs them out and eventually moves them ahead enough to quit the low wage job.

 

Dh is doing that ON TOP OF the extra hours.

 

I've also seen people with good jobs dig themselves right out of debt with the bus driver job and with bartending.

 

*deep breath* If they were hiring, dh would do that. Not sure about the bartending, but he. has. tried. everything.

 

I think the decision is made for you if the job isn't going to pay enough. Either the expenses get cut, or it's time to move on.

 

.

[Aubrey]

Get out of the courier business! Seriously, he could work in a factory through a temp service and make more money!

 

I dare you to find one that's hiring.

[Aubrey]

This is what I think too. How could it be worse? You have your mom to stay with, your dh can breathe better and the job market might be MUCH better there.

 

1. Maybe the job market's not better there.

 

2. We still have to pay our bills here through Sept. For that, something is probably better than nothing.

 

3. If he has NO job, will he be subject to the unemployment discrimination I read about in another thread?

 

4. If he *quits* this job, well that could look bad.

 

I don't *think* it will be worse, but I've been wrong before.

[FaithManor]

Usually when work dries up, it gets better later. We're just SO good at making bad decisions, I don't want to look back a year from now & go, "Wow. WHAT were we thinking???"

 

Otoh, I don't want to qualify for any widow's benefits, either.

 

 

Aubrey :grouphug::grouphug:,

 

My cousin Jeffrey lives in Denver. I'd give you his contact information but since I've not met you personally, he wasn't real comfortable with that. But, he did tell me to let you know that the economy is not nearly as bad in Colorado and particularly the Springs and Denver area and that he feels your husband would have a much better chance for employment. His wife, a nurse manager on a floor of a large hospital in Denver said, GET YOUR HUSBAND OUT BEFORE HE HAS LUNG DAMAGE! She told me to type that in caps, so I'm not yelling okay! She wanted me to emphasize that his asthma is going to be a lot better in the Denver and Springs area (maybe not so great in the southwestern part of the state)...less humidity, much, much, much higher air quality.

 

She also said that if you are coming to Denver be sure to stock up on Advil and tylenol. It's the mile high city and some people have quite a few headaches during the first few days while they adjust to the elevation/thinner air.

 

So, I vote for moving in with your mom, getting dh healthy, and letting him look for work in Colorado.

 

Faith

[Wabi Sabi]

Just until things get better could you look for a job, even if it's something part-time or maybe watching a couple of children for pay in your home? I know it's not ideal when you're HSing (trust me, I know this first hand since I work full-time second shift and trade off the kids with my dh) but when times are tough it calls for extreme measures.

[Susan C.]

Things I know, both sides. Colorado is much more expensive than Texas. Look at housing prices in the city you are going to, I may be assuming you are going to one of the larger cities. If there aren't jobs in Colorado, then you are level, pick the place with the cheaper cost of living. I used to live in Texas, and my jobs there were horrible. I told my husband if he wanted me to work, then it wouldn't be in Texas! And I had allergies there I didn't know I had..... so the higher altitude may indeed help your dh.

 

Best wishes!

[Susan C.]

Just until things get better could you look for a job, even if it's something part-time or maybe watching a couple of children for pay in your home? I know it's not ideal when you're HSing (trust me, I know this first hand since I work full-time second shift and trade off the kids with my dh) but when times are tough it calls for extreme measures.

 

No go, she is about to have a baby!!