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jewell

? helping teen aspies see

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Any thoughts on how to help a teen aspie to accept your help -or even undrestand he needs it!- with social things? When you explain something is rude, and they dont' see it that way.....

 

Anger? How do you help them deal with anger? Or to see that their response appears to others to be angry?

 

Thanks

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I'm not having lots of problems in this area yet, but my Aspie is only 12.

 

A very useful resource for us has been social groups led by his psychologist. He groups the boys by age and runs through typical topics like making friends, how to have a conversation with an NT, table manners, and girls. The psychologist is very blunt about the sort of problems you're talking about, but the boys listen to him because he's so positive about the upsides of having Aspergers.

 

You might want to consider joining a group like yahoo's AspergersSupport to get a broad audience of parents struggling with similar issues.

 

One concept we try to share with our son is that perception is very important. If the other person perceives that he is rude, then he was rude. (Certainly it gets tricky since there are crazy people out there with unreasonable expectations who'll say anything is rude. If we run into someone overly sensitive on that point, I'll tell my son so he'll know he wasn't out of line.) Fortunately, my DS doesn't want to be rude for the most part.

 

I'm fortunate that when he gets really angry, he'll still go to his room when I tell him to. I let him calm down and then talk about the situation and other ways to handle it. And we do dole out punishments for really out of line behavior, such as hitting his brother just because he's mad. However, I know that as far as anger management goes, our son is more even keeled than many other Aspies.

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