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As a homeschooler (who is home a lot), wouldd you like having your DH work at home?


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NO, DON'T DO IT!!!!!:eek::eek:

 

Can you tell my dh works from home?:lol:

 

:lol:

 

I haven't read all the responses - I got to this one and had to laugh.

 

Dh and I have worked at home for the past 12 years. There are ups and downs, especially because dh and I are complete opposites. There are days (weeks, if I'm honest) that I firmly believe there is some truth to the phrase "absence makes the heart grow fond".

 

But for the most part, it's so normal for us that I get kind of annoyed sometimes when he isn't home. :001_huh:

 

I think if you do this, understand your roles; if you usually do the cleaning or cooking, don't expect him to help just because he's there, and if when he needs extra printing paper, he shouldn't expect you to drop what you are doing and go get it for him (these are just silly examples, but hopefully you see my point). Things like that will cause problems over time. And he needs to understand how to competently work from home; he needs to schedule his work time so it actually gets done, and, conversely, so it doesn't take up all of his time. It may sound trite, but boy, it is a big deal when you're actually working from home, it's so easy to let it take over family time, and then the resentment sets in quickly.

 

But, I'm sure this has all been said over the last 8 or 10 pages, I just didn't get that far yet. :tongue_smilie:

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I have not read any of the replies, but we are newly in this situation. I love it! We did not get a bigger house

(ours is an 1800 sq.ft. ranch). DH does have an office though. He goes in it in the morning and shuts the door. I sometimes worry that the kids are being too loud, but he says it doesn't bother him. We eat lunch together, which is a nice break for all of us. And then everyday when he is done working, he jokes about how rough the traffic was, lol. Good luck with your decision!

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No, I think it would be too disruptive and stressful and would give me even less "me" time than I get now. I like that he goes in to work. Of course, I also like that he is self employed and can schedule extra time off whenever he wants for the most part, so it's the best of both worlds!

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My husband occasionally works from home and none of us really like it. We don't have an office for him, so he usually holes up in our bedroom and spreads out on our king sized bed with his laptop and a lap desk. He shuts the door, but it's just so distracting all around. He can still hear the kids if they are rough-housing or get into an argument, or even if the little ones are just playing in their rooms. They still know he's in there and can't resist showing or telling him something really important a few times a day. It's nice that he's home for breakfast and lunch, but the benefits don't seem to outweigh the disadvantages. It takes him much longer to put in a day's work than it does when he's at his office (which is awful since he has to account for every billable hour). We end up frustrated that he's not done and just ready to be dad towards the end of the day. Unless you have a dedicated office somewhat removed from the activity of the rest of the family, I wouldn't recommend it. I imagine if my husband were to do it on a regular/permanent basis, the kids would eventually adjust to the novelty and agree on rules that dad is not to be disturbed, etc. But I can only imagine it working well if he had a private place where he can be shut away comfortably.

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Maybe if it was like 1 or 2 days a week, but no more. Things are much "smoother" at home when he is at work, I run everything differently than he does, so he would be under foot and get on my nerves if he was home everyday with us. Oh Lord, the anxiety it causes me just to *think* about it! LOL!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Interesting topic. I don't think I'd mind dh working from home (if he had a home office).

My dh, however, is home (but not working) while we homeschool. He works weekends (his preference) and one day during the week, so he's home 3 days that we're doing school (we do a 4 day school week to take a full day off as a family).

 

He's a nice guy, a good breadwinner, a wonderful dad... but he's also like a 4th kid :glare:. I do realize his schedule provides many benefits that I need to take advantage of.

 

The problem... He usually hangs out around us, tinkers in his shed, plays in his garden, fishes, or hunts when he's off. Not that he doesn't deserve his free time, but well tantrum here... Waaaa!! It's not fair!!

 

I homeschool 4 full days, then take care of the kids by myself on weekends while he's at work. It's not the homeschooling that bothers me, it's all the other things that I'm responsible during the week - most of the chores, the budget, paying the bills, making appointments (including his), household maintenance (silly things like changing filters, alarm batteries, computer troubleshooting... dh does none of those unless I specifically ask, then remind him). He sometimes mows, but only when our grass is knee high - then he often doesn't bother to weed eat. Our yard looks so bad sometimes that I go out and do it myself. He'll usually do things if I ask him to, but only if I remind him. I know I shouldn't complain - I just feel like he has so much more free time than I do and so much less responsibility... He's really not lazy - I promise. I think he has ADD; I do too - I feel like I'm helping him out (like I'm his personal asisstant), but I have no one to help me. I think we'll have a good chat today about how we can better share household responsibilities. :001_smile:

 

So, after all that rambling... Possible yes to dh working from home. It seems like it might be easier than the situation we have now, but maybe not. I'm sure having a dh work from home has different challenges.

 

Julie

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My dh has worked from home for the past 4 years. It really depends on your family dynamic, the layout of your house, and how flexible each of you is able to be.

 

Dh needs to be realistic about how much time he needs to work, how much of that needs to be quiet/isolated time, and what those hours should be, and then devise a workspace for him to allow for that.

 

Discuss upfront what each of you expects to gain by him being home. I am assuming he would have more free time without the commute, etc., and more flexibility in hours (perhaps). That time could be used for family field trips, big projects involving dad, sharing in dad's hobbies, working on home maintance together, even dad helping or taking over a subject (like math). However, dad may not have thought of any of these things, and is planning to perfect his golf game during his free time :glare:, so discuss expectations first!

 

Make sure that he understands and respects your school schedule as much as you do his work schedule. If he feels like taking a break from work to watch TV, but you are still actively teaching, provisions must be made so this does not create a conflict.

 

If you are all home all the time, there will be more mess. Make sure dh doesn't expect everyday to be like a weekend or vacation day when he is accustomed to being home: fun and games and meals ready at the drop of the hat. He must respect the fact that is his entering and sharing *your* workplace during your working hours, so his being home should not place a greater burden on you or take you away from teaching to address his needs.

 

Fortunately, I rarely have these types of issues with my dh, but I can certainly foresee them in some families.

 

I must admit, it was a huge adjustment, and it probably took me over a year to relinquish control over "my" environment and evolve into a daily partnership. We end up working all together on the same floor, sometimes in separate rooms. If I am teaching dd, dh can field algebra questions from ds, etc. Maintaining a clean and organized home (or at least attempting to ;))has become a group effort. If dh sees I'm busy, he picks up the slack, and vice versa, whether in the area of teaching or housework.

 

It was not easy, we each had to get used to what it meant for us to all be together, all the time, who would be responsible for what, and not stepping on each other's toes. But now, I can't imagine it any other way, and would dearly miss the time, interaction and support dh provides for me and the dc being home everyday.

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Maybe if it was like 1 or 2 days a week, but no more. Things are much "smoother" at home when he is at work, I run everything differently than he does, so he would be under foot and get on my nerves if he was home everyday with us. Oh Lord, the anxiety it causes me just to *think* about it! LOL!

 

My feelings exactly! Just the thought of it stresses me. My husband is much tidier than I am and that's always been a sore point in our relationship -- I just can not seem to keep the house clean enough and organized enough for him. I've still got 3 more to homeschool--imagine if he were here all day, every day......

So, he just turned 60 last year and has enough years on his job to retire any time he please now. I asked him what he'll do when he retires: "I'm going to stay home and help you." Please, NO!

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