Jump to content

Menu

As a homeschooler (who is home a lot), wouldd you like having your DH work at home?


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 108
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

I would love for my husband to be able to work from home! He has been able to on occasion for just a day or so at a time, and it's wonderful! And he would save about 2 hours/day just on commuting.

 

Why it works for us:

 

1. He already has a home office.

2. He's undemanding (doesn't expect to be waited on).

3. He's very focused on his work, so he doesn't interfere with what we're doing.

4. The kids know not to bother Daddy when he's working.

 

I think it would change our lives so much for the better! My kids sometimes go days without seeing dh because he leaves before they wake up and gets home after they're already asleep. :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I thought i would like it. Then DH spent some days working at home. I can now say that our marriage would not survive him working at home unless he had an office that was mostly soundpoof and had a locking door. He would have to STAY in there except for lunch breaks, and even then I don't know that it would work. I would imagine the kids would be knocking on his office door driving him nuts, he would be grumpy about work stuff stomping around...no. just no.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I love having my husband work from home. He has done it exclusively for the past 6.5 years. My kids were 6, 4 and 1 when he started and they don't remember any other way. I added another baby and it was a bit tricky with a newborn and a demanding 3 year old.

 

Now that my kids are older (youngest is 4), it is much easier. They know that when Daddy is on important calls they need to use very quiet voices. It has been a gift for our kids to have my husband so actively a part of their childhood. He has no commute, rolls out of bed and goes to work, and is able to come out and socialize throughout the day. When he goes into his office and closes his door, the kids know not to disturb him.

 

I would definitely recommend giving it a try.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We live that reality :)

 

My dh works from home, and has since my youngest were in kindergarten. He has always worked at home since we started homeschooling.

 

The key is to have an office WITH A DOOR, and for him to use it. When dh is in his office, he's "at work", and we don't bother him unless we need to.

 

We do have the occasional Dad interruption when he wanders through the house, gets the kids/dog/food going, but it isn't bad. The plus side is that my kids know their dad as well as they know me. We are all much closer as a family, I think.

 

I love having him work at home. (although it was a bit of an adjustment at first)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I loved it when my husband was working at home. We did have a separte level he was on. After a while the kids get use to him being home, but unavailable. It was nice that he didn't have to commute and was home for lunch often. I could also run to the gym during nap time.

 

For us it was good.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I :001_wub: that my dh works from home!!!!!!

 

He has an office off of our bedroom, away from the noise of the house. The kids know that if they have a question or just want to talk they can go back to his office but if he's in the middle of working they are to not disturb him.

 

It's also great if we are doing a lesson and he walks through the room, he'll chime in. Or I can go in and say, "Could you come explain ____ to them?" (it's usually a history question..lol).

 

having some time apart from each other is healthy for OUR relationship.

That's going to depend on the couple. I love having us all together.

 

My dh also has some freelance jobs he does outside the home at different times throughout the year. So that gives us some separate time. It's also good for him so that he can get out of the house and interact with other professionals (he has vision issues and can't drive so just taking the car and going to the bookstore or something isn't an option for him). I see clients on Fridays and when babies are due I'm gone for births so that's my "me" time.

 

Being at home together has been really great for our family. We can share the parenting, do things as a family during the day, he isn't missing out on the kids growing up and doing new things, etc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My DH has been working from home since the February earthquake destroyed his office. I've loved having him here and so have the kids. We had to make the rules clear that daddy in the office is not available to us, but once we got used to that it was wonderful to have him here for lunch and being at home already meant he could eat with the kids instead of getting home just in time to say goodnight. He is going back to working away from hom tomorrow as they have a new office now :-( we will miss him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Or would this be too much "closeness"? We have this option right now (to move into a larger home, with an area for DH to work--he's self-employed). Would be a big upgrade in terms of house for us, because DH wouldn't be paying for a separate office.

 

Part of me thinks it's a great idea because the house is fantastic and large. Part of me thinks

 

1. it might be hard for DH to get work done when kids are around all the time.

2. it might be hard for the kids to get work done when DH is around all the time ;)

3. having some time apart from each other is healthy for OUR relationship. (he would still have a very small space out of the home, but it's not clear how long that space will be his. But it could be a place he can go to get away if he needs to).

 

Thoughts?

 

I not only homeschool but I work from home and NO.

 

I love him to death but I'm easily distracted already. I think that it's best to have some separation

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Honestly, no. DH works from home quite a bit (maybe 50/50 right now but it can be a lot less of a lot more) and yes, it is hard for the him to get any work done and it IS hard for the kids to get any work done. As for housework, well all my time and energy is taken up running interference so that he can get just a little bit done.

Ask me next week when he's been in the office all week and I'll give you a different answer though lol.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We do have a large house and DH does occasionally work from home one or two days a week. The kids keep out of his study and he has no problem getting on with his work - although there was an occasion when DS10 was practicing his cornet while DH was on a conference call which caused a slight problem, and considerable amusement for DH's colleagues :D.

 

But, I hate it. I feel somehow constrained when he's around all day. As much as I love him, I actually find him a distraction, a not always enjoyable distraction at that. I do appreciate that he's available to help out running the DC to their many and varied outside activities though.

 

Could you give it some kind of trial run before committing to it completely? I know you'd have to do so in a smaller space in less than ideal circumstances, but it might give you an idea.

 

Best wishes

 

Cassy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We love love love having dh work from home. He has a big office on the second floor of our garage so he does "go" to work in a sense. But we can share breakfast and lunch together, and if I really need him to watch one or more of the dc, it's great to have that option. I do try to limit that as much as possible though.

 

However, the first year he worked on his own he worked out of our dining room. It was very difficult. It was hard for him to keep his focus and hard for me (dc were 3 and 5 at the time) to keep the kids quiet every time he had to make a phone call! I would recommend if at all possible he have his own space either out of the house (some people purchase those free standing shed type buildings for offices) or upstairs and away from the day to day busyness of the household.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My DH has worked from home for about four years now and we both absolutely LOVE it! His commute to the actual office is an hour and a half, sometimes worse depending on the traffic, so it was an easy 3-4 hours in the car daily when he had to go to the office. UGH!

 

Considering how gas prices have gone sky high at times over these past years, that alone has been a blessing for us.

 

We have also been able to go down to one vehicle because of him working from home which has worked out just fine for our family. This has been another area of savings in the financial area. YAY!

 

My husband has an office area in the basement. It is still unfinished, but we have made it fairly nice for him, plus he has a window right at his desk to look out and enjoy the day so he is really happy.

 

Because he works from 8-5/5:30 most days, he is able to spend thirty minutes with our son each morning reading the Bible and reading other books with him. It is absolutely treasured time for them both.

 

Also, we don't get in each others way at all. It is funny, he works from home, but we don't actually talk much until after he is officially off from work. He runs upstairs for lunch and that is about it. He will fix his own meal, then head up to our room to relax & eat for the hour.

 

In the evenings, he simply walks up the stairs to get home instead of driving an hour and a half +. The time that he is able to spend with our son then is priceless. Plus, we all get more family time that way. My son wouldn't know what to do if he didn't have his time with dad. :)

 

We hope that he will never have to go back to the actual office permanently. It has worked out beautifully for us and we feel completely blessed because of this situation. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would love it.

Yes - firm boundaries would need to be set from the get go: i.e. - the kids cannot stop school to do chores, run errands, help with projects, etc., and I can't interrupt school for those same reasons as well :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

DH is home alot because he is a full-time student and for 6 years prior he was self-employed, so he came and went from the house all day everyday. It is very nice to have him home. In his free time, we can all go have lunch, go on a field trip, spend quality time together. When he was self-employed, he would watch the kids and I could go to the gym or store by myself (that doesn't happen now because of his school schedule). But there are drawbacks. We have always lived in a smaller house/apartment and the kids do disrupt him while working on the computer (he has resorted to ear plugs several times). I don't get as much done around the house when he is there all day- serious cleaning, schoolwork, there are more dishes to do because he likes to eat! But overall, we like him being home. It would be very hard if he was gone all day, M-F mostly because I'm not use to it. It will be that way in two years though once he graduates. He likes doing his work from home. He likes to pretty much set his own schedule and even though the kids may be a bit much at times, he has said he is very grateful that he has been able to be around the kids so much while they were little. Most fathers miss out on alot of things because they are always working and only see their kids for a few hours each night and on the weekend. He has been able to watch them grow-up from birth to early school-age and is glad for it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The trick to making it work is a schedule. Pure and simple. It also helps if your dh works in a separate room from where you school.

 

I'm speaking with first hand experience. When my dh works from home it helps if we all work in separate rooms. We have an office upstairs, all though at one time we schooled up there and he worked downstairs.

 

We also keep a schedule posted on the wall. It states when lunch will be served so I'm not being pestered about it. It states when dh will start, take breaks, and officially be done for the day. Thus the children know not to bug Daddy at certain times.

 

Because dh took a break sooner for lunch then we did, he was also assigned with the job of fixing lunch. However, if your dh is like mine, he'll need to know WHAT to fix. I posted a menu on the fridge. That way he knew if he needed to boil up pasta, heat leftovers, or start fixing sandwiches.

 

Oh, and remember, dh will want to NOT be disturbed just as much as you will want to NOT be interrupted. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Set boundaries and expectations for all parties involved (you, the kids, dh) first.

 

My dh works from home 40-80% of the time. We bought this house specificially because it had a separate area for an office----it's the former formal living room right off the entry hall. It isn't separated with doors but due to the shape of the rooms, sound doesn't really travel between that room and the kitchen where we school.

 

He's been working from home before we started homeschooling so I was used to him being around (I was a SAH-, school-volunteering-, grad-class-taking-M). He made.me.crazy by walking "the circle" through the downstairs while on the phone, every other trip through opening the refrigerator like the contents had changed :rolleyes:

 

When we decided to bring dd home last year, we set boundaries. He can't interrupt us and we can't interrupt him :D It's nice to have lunch together. It's awesome to have him here as backup so I can meet my longtime friends one morning a month for coffee :) I love that he doesn't have to commute every day to the office. I do not like that he will work during the evenings---sometimes the computer is just too handy and I have to call him on it!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not having read any replies, I'll describe how it works for us. We have a split foyer house, where dh, the dc and I have our living space on the upper level. On the lower level are rooms for MIL, the garage and dh's office. Since his office is on a separate floor and below my bedroom, there is virtually no transfer of sound. I sometimes don't even know if he is actually home or not.:glare: He's an early riser, so he's usually hard at work downstairs before we even get up. He'll come up for breakfast and lunch, but otherwise stays down there for the most part.

 

I really like having him here during the day, because I get to see him for meals:001_smile:. There hasn't been any kind of problem with the dc or him being distracted from their work.

 

But, it would not work nearly as well if the areas we use were not so well separated (just like the MIL arrangement;)).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just had to come back to this thread to say, I'd HATE it if my dh stopped working from home for one big reason: I'd have to cook all the meals, entirely by myself! And that would stink! I already have more work to do than my dh (by both our admission), and not having him available to pop out of the office and help pull lunch together, or start dinner while I'm with my kids at swim practice, well, I'd really miss that. I love coming back from the pool and seeing a pot of boiling water, and all my spices lined up for me to get moving on dinner. :001_wub: NO! He didn't do it on his own. I had to ask very pointedly, but now he willingly/happily does it, and it makes a huge difference to me to have a little help.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just had to come back to this thread to say, I'd HATE it if my dh stopped working from home for one big reason: I'd have to cook all the meals, entirely by myself! And that would stink! I already have more work to do than my dh (by both our admission), and not having him available to pop out of the office and help pull lunch together, or start dinner while I'm with my kids at swim practice, well, I'd really miss that. I love coming back from the pool and seeing a pot of boiling water, and all my spices lined up for me to get moving on dinner. :001_wub: NO! He didn't do it on his own. I had to ask very pointedly, but now he willingly/happily does it, and it makes a huge difference to me to have a little help.

 

:iagree: Dh preps/makes lunch most days. I love it :001_smile:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We do this and love it. My husband works in the basement and we school on the main floor. Dad comes up for lunch and the bathroom. The flexibility it gives us is incredible. Not to mention that my husband does not lose time to commuting. The one thing that really makes this work though is that my husband is pretty disciplined.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would love it, BUT our entire family would have to redo how we run things. DH would have to get used to us, and we'd have to get used to him being around all of the time. We'd redo our schedules and probably our meal routine (having our big main meal as lunch instead of supper), but, I think the benefits would so very much outweigh the extra initial work.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My dh works from home most of the time with a week of travel here and there. I wish there were more weeks of travel.... While I like having him home, he does disturb our school on a daily basis, just coming out to talk to me about something. I think it has also hurt his relationship with our dd - she really needs time away from him and doesn't get it, now she can't stand to be around him at all. Some of that is just their personalities and her being a teenager now, but it all started to change when he started to work from home. I also feel like I can never take a break and do nothing because there he is sitting in his office, working hard to support his family so how dare I take some time to relax. If my kids were younger, I think I would appreciate him being home more, but ideally, at this point in time, I would have him alternate a week of travel with a week of being home if I could.

 

ETA He also works during after dinner until bedtime because his office is right there instead of having some fun family time.

Edited by Krista in LA
Link to comment
Share on other sites

dh works from home two days per week with possibly the option of increasing that to three.

 

I do feel it's difficult to focus on work/school and it takes dedication to make it work. It's easier for us, at home, with him away at work, but it's so WONDERFUL for him to be saved the 45 mile each way commute. His quality of life has DEFINITELY increased!

 

We are going to be making the spare bedroom his office. He will be upstairs, us down, and this will help. We've somehow managed to all work together and dh will leave for conference calls, etc. but it's hard because when he's around we all want to talk and relax. He's more disciplined than us but we're making it work.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My dh lost his job about a year and a half ago. He is home 24/7. It took a little adjusting. I'm more laid-back and he's definitely type A. But now I can't imagine him not being here. I've told him that he is not allowed to get another job now. I work full time managing an RV park so he's taken on all the outside work. I can't do this job without him and he's starting to help a little with schooling as well. It's been great!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My dh started working from home 4 months ago. It is "temporary" but eventually he will have to decide whether to return to the office, or telecommute permanently.

 

Pros:

 

No 2 hour round-trip commute in heavy traffic. This is a big, big pro for dh. It has really reduced his stress.

I can leave one kid home when I need to take the other one somewhere.

Dh can eat lunch at home, at whatever time he gets hungry (he makes his own lunch) rather than buying lunch out or skipping lunch and waiting to eat till he gets home.

One kid likes having daddy home all the time.

Don't have to buy a $50 bus pass every month.

We have out-of-the-house activities several days a week, so dh has a lot of guaranteed quiet-house periods.

 

Cons:

 

One kid finds it distracting to have daddy walk through the room when she is doing her schoolwork.

I have to monitor the noise level (though my kids are older and not that noisy anymore, but still I am conscious of this).

I find it a bit distracting to have dh home during school hours... like my teaching and activities are being judged somehow, though I really don't think this is the case since dh is so busy with work that I doubt he pays any attention to what else is going on in the house. This is lessening with time, though.

Our house is small. The only access to the yard is through dh's "office" room, though he doesn't mind the kids passing through it as long as they do it quietly.

I can't do any noisy cleaning (like vacuuming) during his work hours.

 

Overall, I guess I do prefer having dh work from home, though it has been an adjustment.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I haven't read the previous responses, but yes. We just did this. Not a new town, but bigger home and dh working from home one day a week. He says he gets much more done at home even with 9 dc here. He is in a different room, but honestly, it is not that big of deal either way. The only difference is if he has a conference call. He needs quiet then. He doesn't have to commute so he can spend a little more time with us before work and at lunch. When he takes breaks he can have coffee with me. His company's policy is he has to repond to any email or instant messages within 5 minutes which is rediculus in my opinion because his work breaks are 15 minutes, but I understand why they implemented the policy. If we have visitors or a plumbing crisis he is right here. He treats it just like work, getting dressed and having his normal office hours. We are able to do office work or small projects in the same room or bring him snacks throughout the day. It has been wonderful.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My husband has been working from home for over 3 years, and we love it!! He is there to help if we need it :)

 

My kids know if he has his door closed that they can't go in, but if his door is open then it is ok to go in to ask a question or talk to him. We aren't quiet :) I have 2 year old twins :D If we get too loud he puts on his headphones. When he has conference calls, all his colleagues know that he has kids :lol::lol:

 

If my twins are taking a nap, I can run to the store or take my older girls to the library.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Or would this be too much "closeness"? We have this option right now (to move into a larger home, with an area for DH to work--he's self-employed). Would be a big upgrade in terms of house for us, because DH wouldn't be paying for a separate office.

 

Part of me thinks it's a great idea because the house is fantastic and large. Part of me thinks

 

1. it might be hard for DH to get work done when kids are around all the time.

2. it might be hard for the kids to get work done when DH is around all the time ;)

3. having some time apart from each other is healthy for OUR relationship. (he would still have a very small space out of the home, but it's not clear how long that space will be his. But it could be a place he can go to get away if he needs to).

 

Thoughts?

 

Dh and I can't get anything done while together. :) We would be chatting all day. We are still newly weds though....

 

To seriously answer your question---just as with homeschooling you would all need good schedules and boundaries. If you can homeschool you can probably do it with your dh there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My husband starting working at home 3 days a week last year. We have a school room upstairs and I offered to give it to him as an office. He tried it for one day and didn't like it - he likes working in the living room downstairs where it's nice and open. So we do school upstairs and he works downstairs. My kids are junior high age, so they can work quietly on their own upstairs. It has worked very well for us. He enjoys being able to take a break and hit golf balls with our son.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

DH works from home, when he's not on a business trip. So, he's home a majority of the time. He has an office downstairs, but he doesn't always use the door. DS is always trying to sneak downstairs "for a hug." I stop him a lot of time, and I get in trouble for not stopping him the other times.

 

DH causes DS to be crazy and not listen, so every time DH comes upstairs, any focus goes out the window. DH comes up randomly for breakfast, lunch, or to get dressed after a shower... there are no set times for any of these things, because he has to work around the phone calls, so there is no way to predict/prepare for when he will be upstairs.

 

Also, since DH is downstairs, any running/jumping/stomping up here is really loud and it bothers him. It is hard to keep a 6 year old boy's feet quiet all day. DH also tends to sleep in, so then I am also tasked with keeping a 6 year old boy's voice, as well as feet, quiet in the morning.

 

So, much of my day is spent trying to keep DS quiet. DS makes noise constantly. This is hard. :tongue_smilie: Also, the interruptions when DH comes upstairs makes this job even harder.

 

However, it is nice in the winter when DH doesn't *always* have to go drive in the snow. It's nice when he can take some time out of his day to help with snow removal. Once in a while he will get done with work early enough to take DS to tae kwon do in the late afternoon/early evening, to give me a break. Very occasionally we will all go out to lunch together. Also, he has some flexibility to take care of other random situations that pop up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My BIL now works from home--they have a small living area over their garage that he uses as an office. There is a little deck/walkway between the two.

 

I would look for something like that, the boundaries are much clearer.

 

Make sure it has a bathroom, though! He has to come in the house when he goes to the bathroom.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My dh has worked from home for five years now and I loooove it. I wonder if he ever left for an office job if I could function without him!!

 

The main reason it works is he does have his own office in a far corner of the basement. We also live and die by AIM. So if there's a spider I don't want to kill I can ask him for help:) If he's in the middle of something he'll say so, but if not he's always happy to come up and help me out. He's also been a major help for kids with attitude/behavior melt-downs. If I'm at the end of my rope it is so nice to have another adult to pass said child off to before I lose my cool. There are times in the day (conference calls, etc) where we try to be quiet as a courtesy to him. But he understands life happens and his coworkers know he's working from home so it's not usually a huge deal.

 

So for our marriage/family life it's been a really good thing. Mostly I think it's helped us to respect each other's responsibilities more- I see some of the day-in day-out stuff he has to deal with, and he sees the stressful times in my day. And we both can see that we work equally hard at what we do. And I love that our lives are intertwined and how it forces us to work as a team.

 

 

And his job pays for our home to have screamin' fast internet so I'm not sure I could ever give that up!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My DH works rotating shift work, so he's often home during our school days. As far as him working from home, I would say NO, NO, and NO! It could just be us, but there are definitely concentration issues when he's here. It goes both ways, too. Kids are distracted by Daddy. Daddy feels in the way with school. I'm sure it could work (and does!) with many families, but definitely not ours! A significant factor to consider is that we are a large family living in a relatively small house. Maybe a bigger house would make some difference, but I still don't think I'd go for it.

 

Also, when DH is home, I often feel like I'm getting pulled in different directions. I try to stay on track with school, but sometimes dh has all kinds of questions for me and sidetracks ME with household jobs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I, myself, would only agree if there was an area of the house where there could be a definite separation between dh's work and our home life. That space would be off limits to the kids unless invited by dh, and likewise, the school room would be a place where dad only came in occaisionally during school hours -- that is unless he was involved with teaching the children.

 

Within those perimeters, I think it would work for my family.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I haven't read all the responses but we love it. Dh has worked from home for almost 11 years now. He has an office which we do routinely take over but he can kick us out and shut the door if he needs too. It took some time but the kids understand that if Dad is in his office with the door closed (or our bedroom because he will take calls in there also) then they are not to disturb him. We love it because he is home to eat meals with us. If there is a discipline problem then he can help take care of it. Also we are on the same page with the kids because he is here with them as much as I am. I don't have to relate things that have gone on during the day because he has probably experienced it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My dh has worked for home for 10 years and I LOVE it (with a few exceptions).

 

We have a big workshop/barn in our backyard and he carved out a big corner, put up drywall and made a very nice office. Usually, he heads out after breakfast with a cup of coffee, we see him for lunch and at about 6:00p. I do love knowing he is there, though. He and my ds really love to go road biking and will head out a few times a week when the weather is good.

 

Cons - he has a tendency to use extreme hot weather (he does have a heater), cold weather (also has an airconditioner) and a messy office as an excuse to settle in the house in front of the tv with his laptop on his lap. Then it becomes a problem because I despise the tv on when we are trying to do school and also having to be quiet when he is on the phone. It usually takes some not so gentle prodding (and an office cleaning on my part) for him to move back out.

 

Also, for some reason the whole lunch thing rubs me the wrong way. It is assumed that I will make his lunch everyday. Breakfast, lunch and dinner three times a day for four people is not my idea of fun, especially when we are heavy into something with school and just want to grab something easy. Unfortunately, I did a poor job of conveying to him early on that while he has one job, I have many, many jobs. That would be something that I would make extremely clear if I had it to do over again.

 

Now that I got those grumbles off my chest, I still think it is a small price to pay to have him around. He's a sweetie and I do love knowing he's right outside.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In the last 7 years, my hubby has had 2 time periods of working exclusively from home. I really like it. It is an adjustment, we had difficulties with it at first for sure, but we adjusted and we both really like it. He has an office, a room that is his own, and I have to keep the kids quieter especially when he is on calls. Having him here more is really nice though, I just feel he is more involved. I like it (but I admit, we really struggled at first because he is a control freak and the house is a mess during the day) and would be sad if he had to go back to an office!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...