momofkhm Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Everything, I mean everything(!), is a gun or a sword or a lightsaber or a tomahawk. And that is his answer to anything the least bit upsetting or should I say annoying. He's constantly shooting his sisters with his hands as a gun. They do things to purposely annoy him, but really? The last time I was around a 10 yo boy this much, I was 7 and that was, oh, 30 some years ago. I don't remember this! Does this fall under normal but not acceptable (a 3yo hitting in response to things may be normal but it's not acceptable)? Or is it just normal? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 First off I will say that I don't have a 10 year old boy but I do have an 8 year old boy and know some 10 year old boys. I would say based on the boys I know that this is very normal for some boys. It really depends on the boy. I can see my 8 year old being a 10 year old like this. I saw a 10 yr old boy at church the other day using his Bible as a gun. I think at 10 it is probably still acceptable to be using everything around as a sword, gun, knife, etc... I would say the second part of your question about him acting like he has a gun when you upset him is also normal but needs to be worked on. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Yes it's normal. However, it's not acceptable for him to respond that way to something annoying or upsetting. I would consider it as unacceptable as sticking out one's tongue or stomping. Tell your boy that he's old enough now to learn a more grown-up way of expressing his irritation. He's not to shoot anymore when he's upset. Instead, he can tell you calmly what is making him unhappy, and you promise to consider what he says carefully. Remind him that you are the mom and get the final say, but that you'll listen to what he has to say and consider it. Then when he shoots, just remind him, "Oh Dear Son, remember you're not going to do that anymore. If you're unhappy about something, can you just tell me please?" Coach him through it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabeth in IL Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Yep! However, it's not acceptable for him to respond that way to something annoying or upsetting. I would consider it as unacceptable as sticking out one's tongue or stomping. Tell your boy that he's old enough now to learn a more grown-up way of expressing his irritation. He's not to shoot anymore when he's upset. Instead, he can tell you calmly what is making him unhappy, and you promise to consider what he says carefully. Remind him that you are the mom and get the final say, but that you'll listen to what he has to say and consider it. Then when he shoots, just remind him, "Oh Dear Son, remember you're not going to do that anymore. If you're unhappy about something, can you just tell me please?" Coach him through it. I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 They do things to purposely annoy him, but really? A ten year old boy being driven crackers by his teenage sisters? I'm surprised he hasn't stuffed lego up their noses. :tongue_smilie: Get the girls to lay off and he'll prolly quit shooting imaginary holes in them. [most of the time.] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily_Grace Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Normal. :D At least in this house! I fought against the pretend weapons for years before giving up. Let's see...10 was the year I bought The Dangerous Book For Boys as part of our hs'ing curriculum. The next year, our neighbor gave him a book on knots and a length of rope. This year he got a working tool set and we're reading My Side of The Mountain and Robinson Crusoe for lit. He's in scouts and they do a lot of outdoorsy stuff, too. Giving him different outlets and embracing the drive has helped his behavior ENORMOUSLY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Normal in our house, too. My dh is one of 5 boys and I take my cues on "normal boy behavior" from him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 A ten year old boy being driven crackers by his teenage sisters? I'm surprised he hasn't stuffed lego up their noses. or put bugs in their beds.... ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Yes it's normal. However, it's not acceptable for him to respond that way to something annoying or upsetting. I would consider it as unacceptable as sticking out one's tongue or stomping. Tell your boy that he's old enough now to learn a more grown-up way of expressing his irritation. He's not to shoot anymore when he's upset. Instead, he can tell you calmly what is making him unhappy, and you promise to consider what he says carefully. Remind him that you are the mom and get the final say, but that you'll listen to what he has to say and consider it. Then when he shoots, just remind him, "Oh Dear Son, remember you're not going to do that anymore. If you're unhappy about something, can you just tell me please?" Coach him through it. This. I believe weapon play is normal. But I also believe that limits about its expression are necessary. In our house, pretend weapons are not used against people who are not playing the same game, and are absolutely not used to express feelings over a reprimand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 Thanks ladies. I figured it was normal. And the visual about it being the same thing as stomping a foot is wonderful! We'll work on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 We told our son he was not allowed to point guns at people. Even pretend guns made from fingers! Yes, totally normal-lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 As a mother of 4 boys, I would say that sounds perfectly normal to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelaNYC Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Everything, I mean everything(!), is a gun or a sword or a lightsaber or a tomahawk. And that is his answer to anything the least bit upsetting or should I say annoying. He's constantly shooting his sisters with his hands as a gun. They do things to purposely annoy him, but really? The last time I was around a 10 yo boy this much, I was 7 and that was, oh, 30 some years ago. I don't remember this! Does this fall under normal but not acceptable (a 3yo hitting in response to things may be normal but it's not acceptable)? Or is it just normal? I've had the same thoughts - we both have a 10 y/o with 2 teenage girls. My girls weren't like that at all so I really had no idea if anything ds does is normal or acceptable, lol. Ds is all about any kind of weapon. He makes them out of household items (crossbows, blow darts, regular shooters, tomahawks, etc), has a whole collection of "modded" Nerf guns, and even makes videos about how he does it. He knows the rules and follows them pretty well. I'm so glad it's not just us. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 This. I believe weapon play is normal. But I also believe that limits about its expression are necessary. In our house, pretend weapons are not used against people who are not playing the same game, and are absolutely not used to express feelings over a reprimand. Yes, that. My 2.5 and 6yo boys turn everything into toy weapons, run around making sound effects, etc. But there's a difference, IMO, between fighting pretend bad guys/defending the castle/saving the princess/etc. and pretending to shoot someone who annoys you -- the first is fine, the second definitely not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 I'm so glad it's not just us. :tongue_smilie: All three kids about the same age too. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodhaven Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 I have 4 boys. Yes, this is completely normal. I never encouraged that kind of thing, nor do I encourage it now. But, since it is obviously just part of who they are, I stay out of the way as long as they aren't too rough. If/when they choose to sword fight, or use other toy weapons and they get hurt I remind them that playing like that was a choice they each made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 (edited) Normal and normal. We had to deal with ds1 "shooting" people in anger as well. It's not so different from fake-punching someone in the face as an expression of anger. They're both coming from the heart. It's like saying, I'm so mad I want to hurt you. It didn't help that ds2 was a pain in the rump sometimes--another issue that had to be dealt with--but we were able to work through the anger. He did go through a period of fake-punching instead of shooting, though. It actually took a few years, but ds1 is now much better at dealing with his anger. ETA: We didn't limit weapon play throughout this--he played a lot of airsoft, Nerf guns, even paintball. Ours was more an issue of expressing anger appropriately. Edited July 9, 2011 by Cinder Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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