matrips Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Hi, My kids are still young (6.5yo triplets), but I sometimes feel like we'd all be better if we had a break. They've never gone to school, preschool, daycare etc. We've been 24/7 for the most part since they were born. Never even a babysitter since they are too expensive here (DH won't allow it). For the most part, we have a nice time together, they're pretty nice kids, super smart/advanced (they're doing 2nd grade math and about 4th grade reading (they LOVE to read), know tons of history/geography etc), and I like being with them. But other times, like today!, I just don't want to spend another day listening to a whine or the procrastinating, bickering etc. It just puts me down and saddens me. Perhaps my expectations are too high? Our local ps school is a very nice school; I have no issues with it. Part of me feels like it would benefit them to see what real school is like, the structure in the classroom, the sitting still and listening, doing as you're asked, and getting with the program. I also could use the break! Though I'd miss them terribly. If we were going to do it, it seems like early would be better. They will be 1st grade next year. And maybe we would all absolutely love it. I don't know. Or is it (sending them to school for a bit) just not worth it? and why not? I'm so conflicted; we went down the whole homeschooling road because preschool was too expensive, and then I didn't want them to spend 8 hours a day/5 days a week in school for kindergarten when they were still just 5. Part of why I homeschooled was so they could play more, we could do more... but if it starts taking all day to finish a couple little things, then what's the point. And it's really only 2 of the 3 kids causing the problem; the other guy works hard at finishing to move on to other stuff. But would I just keep one home? That seems disastrous on another level of seeming to favor one child. If anyone has the time and experience to write me some advice or thoughts on this, I would so greatly appreciate it. I'm just very confused right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 This sounds like a marriage problem. You need to have some breaks. They don't have to be expensive: can you trade babysitting with another mom? Can your dh watch them on Saturday while you get some time to yourself? Do you have any relatives like Grandparents who can help out? I wouldn't address school itself until this underlying issue is addressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 It's summer-could you find an inexpensive day camp or activity program for a week or two, maybe a 1/2 day one? If you're involved in a church, do they have a summer camp or VBS? I only have one 6 yr old, and sometimes SHE drives me crazy, so I can't imagine having 3 of them! Maybe in the fall you could find something they could participate in to give you a break? One of the homeschool moms I know, who's kids are now in their teens, said that when her children were my DD's age, she used to go to the YMCA, drop her kids off for the daycare provided for people to use to work out, and then curl up in the lobby with a book for an hour :). My DD's dance classes have much the same benefit for me-it's a chance for me to relax a little, while someone else has her attention, and works off some of her energy. My DD was in ps K, and like your DCs, was well ahead of her class. Even with a wonderful teacher who was willing to bend over backwards to accommodate her, it wasn't a good fit academically, and the poor woman was being run ragged-she looked SO tired at the end of each day! DD liked K at the beginning of the year because she's a social butterfly, but by November was getting very frustrated with the whole situation, and while the whole Christmas season helped, by January it was obvious this wasn't working to everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhappyjoyjoy Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 We have always approached education with the mindset of doing what is right for that year even if it was different for each child. 2008 DS1 went to Catholic preschool 3 afternoons a week 2009 DS1 went to Catholic K 2010 DS1 home for 1st DS2 Catholic preschool 3 mornings a week This year both boys are signed up for Catholic school, however if we move like we think we will they will both be at home after the move. Each situation is so different. I don't think it is favoritism. Would you feel differently if they weren't triplets?? Don't think they have to do everything the same just, because they are triplets. blessings Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Seriously, if DH wouldn't allow a babysitter, than he'd be offering to give me breaks. Wait! I get babysitters and breaks... and grandparents... and older siblings. (and I have only one little who's 8...) BUT, I wouldn't be with my child 24/7. We both like each other... and others. :) I'd think about how many hours you'd be away if you had them in school. (about 32 or so a week.. or more) and then how much it'd cost for them to do all the activities and other things there... (and teacher's gifts...etc.) Perhaps form a small babysitting co-op. Send them to summer camp. VBS if you have one you'd like. Something. Or, do what I've done. Check the calendar, ask Dad to have a "Dad's wknd" and then go have fun! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamakven Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Whoa.... triplets! I just had to add that because i have twins and the workload is WAY WAY WAY more than 2- 2yos so i can't even imagine what it would be like with triplets!!!! So anyway, along that vein of thought, I have to say with multiples, people just do NOT get the demands we face- we are in a whole nother category as far as stress. It is stressful for us, its stressful on our marriages, its HUGE, and i've had to make so many more sacrificed than i'd ever dreamed I would. My twins are my youngest, they'll be 2 later this month, and i also have 5 olders. i've homeschooled all throughout, that is with having a dx'd aspie, my oldest and a probable aspie, my 10yo ds, and now we are in the process of getting one of my twins dx'd and he gets therapy 4x a week and life right now is INSANE so we are opting to put ALL 5 of my olders in school. it breaks my heart but i know we just must do it, i've tried EVERYTHING, and there's only so much ME to go around! So I can get where you are coming from, and i say do what you need to do.... it doesn't have to be permanent, even if it doesnt work out a month or two in, you can still pull them out! I think you need to really prioritize your marriage right now, jmo... My ONE big hesitation with what you've posted is that if your children are significantly advanced, you might run into trouble with PS being too easy- maybe your schools have a way of dealing with it? maybe you could try and see, but that typically can be a big problem! good luck!!! Rebecca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I sent my dd to preschool for about 6 weeks, and then again to 1st grade for about 6 weeks. It just didn't work out. I didn't like having her gone all day, I didn't like the back and forth, I didn't like all the sicknesses she brought home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhappyjoyjoy Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I should have added that we prayed for God to show us His will, and that each experience was great and not a mistake. So far I've been very happy with our choices to do school and homeschool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 We've been 24/7 for the most part since they were born. Never even a babysitter since they are too expensive here (DH won't allow it). What the heck! My little guy has never had a babysitter: he has two older siblings. My older two never had a baby sitter, but there was a drop-in daycare center that was open nights and weekends that I used. If you work there a few hours a week, then your kids can stay there without you a few a hours a week free. You may want to see what is available in your area along these lines. A little time away from your children will definitely help with perspective and decision making on this. :iagree:with this part. Can they stay with a grandparent or an auntie or someone for the weekend? If you have been with them 24/7 for 6.5 years, I bet you do need a break- a break to take a bath without hurrying, a break to get your hair cut without little people, a break to go on a date alone with your husband (even if it is just a walk through the park). After the weekend of long baths, new hair, and a date, then think about school for next year. HTH- Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I would only send them at that age if I were comfortable with them *continuing* at school. But it sounds like you're really *happy* home schooling and want them to continue. In which case, you need to find some way to ease your burden somewhat. That might be an afternoon each weekend when your husband is fully responsible for the kids (either at home, so you can go out, or taking the kids to the park for 4 hours [minimum!] while you bask in the quiet), or even just enrolling them in some low cost/no cost program so you get a little time each week. Check local churches, Rec Centers, Boys and Girls clubs, libraries, YMCA... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Firstly, I agree that you should find a way to get a break somehow. However, I'm a fine one to say that, because I'm really bad about leaving mine with anyone, especially when they're little. I even used to fret about leaving them with DH while I went to have my hair done. We only started homeschooling two years ago. DS12 has never been homeschooled. DS10 went to school from age 4 to age 8. DS6 went to school from age 4 to age 5. Their schools were OK. I really can't remember feeling that I had lots of spare time on my hands though. DS10 is passionately against going back to school, although he's agreed to go to the school DS12 goes to in September 2012. I think DS6 may want to go back to school then too, just because DS10 will no longer be here, and then DS4 will probably also want to go (he's very sociable like DS12, so would thrive in school). I'm not a totally committed homeschooler, I rather fell into it in order to solve a short-term problem. Although I now love homeschooling, I'm perfectly happy to be flexible about what happens in the future. Homeschooling is wonderful, and ideally I would have homeschooled all my boys through to age 11, but I do believe that school can offer benefits that homeschooling can't offer. I would guess that a year in school would do them no harm, and might do you a lot of good. I believe that it's important in life to remain flexible and adaptable, to do the thing that makes most sense at the time. Hope it all works out. Best wishes Cassy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhappyjoyjoy Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I would only send them at that age if I were comfortable with them *continuing* at school. . I'm curious why that is? I know some people made comments like that to me when we send DS1 to K. It was never an issue to bring him home. And when the boys start school this fall it won't be an issue to bring them home after the move. They know we'll do what is best for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I had my ds in a private school last year and I will homeschool next year. If you need the break then I say go for it. Most kids do well in school if it is a decent school whether public or private. My sister's triplets who are now 14 have thrived in public schools and are doing great since she and her dh are very involved parents:) You could afterschool:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I would tell my husband where to stick it if I never got a break from the kids. Wow. Does he work 24/7/365? It sounds like more of a marital problem than and educational problem to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I've been (almost) exactly where you are. Unfortunately I didn't have a nice PS to send them to. We were zoned for a very undesirable school; I did try sending one daughter but withdrew her after three months because she was being bullied (physically) by three boys and the school did nothing about it. The year after that, I enrolled three of my daughters in a Catholic school which also had a lot of problems. It was part of a program that offers scholarships to innercity children, giving them an alternative to PS. While it's a great thing for those families, the school had many students with serious behavioral and academic problems. We somehow stuck it out for a while, but finally I withdrew them and went back to homeschooling. We have since moved to a slightly better neighborhood and have a reasonably ok PS we could send them. A CS is also opening on our block, but this one too will participate in the scholarship program, so we'd face a similar atmosphere. I am so tempted to try one or the other, though. I am exhausted and frustrated despite the fact that my kids excel academically. I also want them to get out into the world more-- meet more children-- but 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, is an awful long time for them to be away from home at such a tender age, and this is time we'll never get back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhappyjoyjoy Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I've been (almost) exactly where you are. Unfortunately I didn't have a nice PS to send them to. We were zoned for a very undesirable school; I did try sending one daughter but withdrew her after three months because she was being bullied (physically) by three boys and the school did nothing about it. The year after that, I enrolled three of my daughters in a Catholic school which also had a lot of problems. It was part of a program that offers scholarships to innercity children, giving them an alternative to PS. While it's a great thing for those families, the school had many students with serious behavioral and academic problems. We somehow stuck it out for a while, but finally I withdrew them and went back to homeschooling. We have since moved to a slightly better neighborhood and have a reasonably ok PS we could send them. A CS is also opening on our block, but this one too will participate in the scholarship program, so we'd face a similar atmosphere. I am so tempted to try one or the other, though. I am exhausted and frustrated despite the fact that my kids excel academically. I also want them to get out into the world more-- meet more children-- but 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, is an awful long time for them to be away from home at such a tender age, and this is time we'll never get back. Can you look into a hybrid school? Are there any schools in your area that offer 2 days a week at school? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Can you look into a hybrid school? Are there any schools in your area that offer 2 days a week at school? No-- but I've often wished for that! Just a couple days a week would be great. The only options here are failing PS, not very great CS, or incredibly expensive secular private schools. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrips Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 Guess I shouldn't have written 24/7; it was just feeling that way! We haven't done babysitters ($15+/hr here; I wouldn't even be able to enjoy myself with that! I'd be stressing too much about all that money being gone.) And it's not like we're home all day; together yes, but home no. We're very social; I just happen to be there with them! Yes, they've gone to structured co-op playgroups (our inexpensive version of preschool); but with three, I worked way more than the singleton moms, so I was there a lot too. They do Awanas and that's our date night. They do every vacation bible school I can find (5 this summer); that's my break! :) Camp is really too pricey times three; I'm working at one now so they can go, but otherwise the 2 week camp would cost me $900. However, it is a break for all of us; I'm not their leader! I do get my hair cut by myself too, and other errands as well. But nothing like 8 hours a day! I was really just looking for more real life experience from others who sent theirs to school and was it worth it or not. Like the poster that mentioned all the sicknesses they brought home, that would be a pain. That would take away from my 'break time'. What else do I need to think of? Sometimes I just secondguess the homeschooling, especially when I'm tired and overwhelmed. And considering we have a very nice school a few blocks away. Though actually we're all in a pretty good place right now. I think I was stressed about some other things going on (not kid/dh related) and it was all just becoming too much. Things are looking much better this week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhappyjoyjoy Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Guess I shouldn't have written 24/7; it was just feeling that way! We haven't done babysitters ($15+/hr here; I wouldn't even be able to enjoy myself with that! I'd be stressing too much about all that money being gone.) And it's not like we're home all day; together yes, but home no. We're very social; I just happen to be there with them! Yes, they've gone to structured co-op playgroups (our inexpensive version of preschool); but with three, I worked way more than the singleton moms, so I was there a lot too. They do Awanas and that's our date night. They do every vacation bible school I can find (5 this summer); that's my break! :) Camp is really too pricey times three; I'm working at one now so they can go, but otherwise the 2 week camp would cost me $900. However, it is a break for all of us; I'm not their leader! I do get my hair cut by myself too, and other errands as well. But nothing like 8 hours a day! I was really just looking for more real life experience from others who sent theirs to school and was it worth it or not. Like the poster that mentioned all the sicknesses they brought home, that would be a pain. That would take away from my 'break time'. What else do I need to think of? Sometimes I just secondguess the homeschooling, especially when I'm tired and overwhelmed. And considering we have a very nice school a few blocks away. Though actually we're all in a pretty good place right now. I think I was stressed about some other things going on (not kid/dh related) and it was all just becoming too much. Things are looking much better this week! This sickness comes in spurts. The year DS1 was in preschool we had it a lot. The next two years we had hardly anything. My friends that do co-ops have years like that, too. Some kids are more prone to getting sick than others as well. We made it 6 years before our first ear infection and that still is the only one. There is good and bad about both. There is a lot of sitting in the van when I drive 20 minutes to school each way. However, I love having to be out of the door at the same time every day. It keeps me on a good schedule. I volunteer at school, so that takes up time. My sons have grown socially and spiritually at school in ways they wouldn't have at home. However, there are so many things we do at home that they would never do in school. You really need to weigh the options when you can be objective and unemotional about it and just remind yourself that triplets is going to be hard no matter what you do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 (edited) Guess I shouldn't have written 24/7; it was just feeling that way! We haven't done babysitters ($15+/hr here; I wouldn't even be able to enjoy myself with that! I'd be stressing too much about all that money being gone.) And it's not like we're home all day; together yes, but home no. We're very social; I just happen to be there with them! Yes, they've gone to structured co-op playgroups (our inexpensive version of preschool); but with three, I worked way more than the singleton moms, so I was there a lot too. They do Awanas and that's our date night. They do every vacation bible school I can find (5 this summer); that's my break! :) Camp is really too pricey times three; I'm working at one now so they can go, but otherwise the 2 week camp would cost me $900. However, it is a break for all of us; I'm not their leader! I do get my hair cut by myself too, and other errands as well. But nothing like 8 hours a day! I was really just looking for more real life experience from others who sent theirs to school and was it worth it or not. Like the poster that mentioned all the sicknesses they brought home, that would be a pain. That would take away from my 'break time'. What else do I need to think of? Sometimes I just secondguess the homeschooling, especially when I'm tired and overwhelmed. And considering we have a very nice school a few blocks away. Though actually we're all in a pretty good place right now. I think I was stressed about some other things going on (not kid/dh related) and it was all just becoming too much. Things are looking much better this week! I'm glad things are looking better this week :001_smile:. My boys attend a one day a week enrichment program through a school district out here. Last year was their first year (only the older 4 attended). They love it, and I do get a short (6 hour) break that day (I did pull out paint or a science experiment for my youngest, but he did entertain himself most of the day). However, the days are so hectic. Everyone has to be up and out of the house early with a packed lunch, a water bottle, their backpack (which needs any signed papers I'm supposed to return and any library books they checked out), and coats, hats, mittens if it's cold. When I pick them up, they are exhausted, they are excited and some are cranky (and at least one has a headache). They walk in and leave a trail of shoes, lunchbags, coats, backpacks, and papers. By the time we get it all sorted out, it's time to make dinner. Even with all the stress of homeschooling, I much prefer our homeschool days. They are learning fun things there, but I miss sharing what they're learning with them. I honestly couldn't imagine doing the school routine 5 days a week. Edited July 3, 2011 by JudoMom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 My DD attended PreK for a year and my DS is just about to start. My DD loved it and I've always felt it was a good experience for her. One of the bonuses was that she had speech issues which have improved dramatically since she has been attending. She was only off sick 3 days for the whole year -once for bad cold and 2x for a stomach bug. I doubt she picked any of these up from her school though as DH (who is a teacher) had them all first and passed it to the rest of us. The school they went/will go to isn't anything special - just the local PreK that is play based. DD enjoyed making friends there that she otherwise wouldn't. However my DD did have a few experiences there that while not negative and harmful did reinforce the reason why we will be homeschooling in the future. Turns out my DD is a highly social people pleaser that will do ANYTHING to get the popular girls to be her friends - I'm glad we got the heads up before she got to high school :001_huh: Apart from the PreK - the public schools in our area are terrible - I wouldn't send my dog there to be taught anything. However if you are happy with the school in your area there is no reason you couldn't try it out and see how it goes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I was really just looking for more real life experience from others who sent theirs to school and was it worth it or not. Like the poster that mentioned all the sicknesses they brought home, that would be a pain. That would take away from my 'break time'. What else do I need to think of? Sometimes I just secondguess the homeschooling, especially when I'm tired and overwhelmed. And considering we have a very nice school a few blocks away. These were the negatives of sending them to school: *for the first year, constant, nasty colds-- this got better in subsequent years *having to stick to the school schedule no matter what. No sneaking in an extra 30 minutes sleep in the morning, ever. *morning rush was dreadful. Two of my girls are NOT morning people and it was horrendous trying to get them out of bed, dressed, eating breakfast, shoes on-- the whole ordeal was an epic battle *homework!! ugh. I spent so much time policing homework that I realized I might as well just homeschool and save us all the grief. Even an easy assignment was like climbing a mountain with a tired, grumpy child. *my children were picking up poor grammar and slang from their schoolmates. *two of my children were picked on and became depressed *my children witnessed a lot of bad behavior, including some serious fights, one where a teacher was hurt *driving in bad weather/ the cost of gas was a pain *the curriculum, for the most part, stank, especially from the perspective of a fussy homeschooling mom! In retrospect, the only real plus was that the school had amazing teachers and the principal was one of the most amazing people I've ever met. That is why I stuck it out for three years. My children still miss the teachers, and honestly so do I! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in C-ville Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 We put ours in public school last year. Not a mistake, b/c we believe the Lord led us to do it, but we are SO glad to be homeschooling again. Here's the thread I posted when we pulled our boys out 3/4 of the way through the year: http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=259628 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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