BamaTanya Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 (edited) I know this is an ironic question to ask on a homeschool board. I used to homeschool all of my children, but I got burned out with special needs (2 with Asperger's - with some very challenging symptoms) and finances (therapies not covered or partially-covered) and Mom's cancer. Years later, we've brought 2 of our children back for homeschooling, and we watch the 3 in public school. So far, they're doing okay. And this one teen is flourishing in public school. He's gifted and is being challenged in ways I could not manage while accommodating his brothers' issues. He's accelerated in math and science and gets enrichment activities as well, including robotics and marine science. Next year his class is planning a trip to Disney World. This is a science/math trip and the plans are impressive. One day, for instance, the students will go into the park before it opens to ride Space Mountain. They'll strap instruments on that will record their acceleration, speed, etc. They'll ride with the lights on and with the lights off. They'll take the instruments back to a lab to analyze the data. I want this experience for my son. Really, I do. But it's expensive! Ugh. Nearly $700. And then $700 again for a chaperon. Could we come up with the money? Well, yes, but it wouldn't be easy. It might cut into Christmas (for everyone) or our family plans for outings. Could we go with him? Dh could not get away. Public school counselors only get 2 personal days per year and his principal would not allow him to swap out for sick days. We could not afford a shorter paycheck. I work part-time as a adjunct instructor. I have been blessed to be offered one or two classes per semester for the past couple years, but I have no idea what will happen in the spring. I don't want to presume I'll have class and I would feel foolish asking the dean if I can be out for a few class meetings next spring! Also, I am a woman and they might prefer men to chaperon the boys. (On their shorter trip this year, there was a girls' dorm (with moms) and a boys' dorm (with dads). I should check on that . . . It would be tough at home for dh to manage the other 4 if I were gone. It would be okay, but tough . . . And then, there's the concern about my son. He's a terrific kid. He doesn't get into any trouble (besides fighting with siblings :glare:) and he's given us no reason to worry. I trust the teachers/administration. They are strict -- sometimes too much -- but I know he would be supervised the whole time. But he's kind of a nervous kid. Sometimes (not always) he gets a little homesick and tells us his stomach hurt . . . I would feel so much better if I could go with him. Sigh. We have to reserve spots in August. Part of me thinks I should go ahead and plan to go and just see what happens between now and then. If we lose our deposit because it doesn't work out . . . Oh, well. Part of me thinks I should just plan to send him with our blessing. Trust that all with be fine and prepare him along those lines. Part of me thinks we should keep him home. For us, it's a substantial cost for one child's opportunity. I mean, we've paid much more for special schools/therapies/braces/etc for other kids, but this isn't a necessity. Is it? Part of the reason he's in school is because the special needs of our other children were taking away from the attention he needed. Hmmmm. Thanks for your thoughts . . . . Edited June 15, 2011 by BamaTanya Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 What does your son think about it? I'd have a hard time letting my child go like that for 5 days. I'm not sure what to tell you.....I guess I'd base it a lot upon how my child feels about it (since you said you are not worried about supervision, etc). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Next year his class is planning a trip to Disney World. This is a science/math trip and the plans are impressive. One day, for instance, the students will go into the park before it opens to ride Space Mountain. They'll strap instruments on that will record their acceleration, speed, etc. They'll ride with the lights on and with the lights off. They'll take the instruments back to a lab to analyze the data. I want this experience for my son. Really, I do. But it's expensive! Ugh. Nearly $700. And then $700 again for a chaperon. Could we come up with the money? Well, yes, but it wouldn't be easy. It might cut into Christmas (for everyone) or our family plans for outings. Personally, I wouldn't put my family out financially for a trip to Disney. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I can't answer all those questions for you but I can tell you that when I was in 7th and 8th grade I did a "field school" experience for 5 days each time. I was probably like your son in that I would get a little homesick but I think that would be expected of anyone that age who has not been away from home that much. I think part of growing up is learning to be away from your safety net (in safe situations). And I don't remember there being any parent chaperones when I went on those trips, just teachers. I had a great time, and it wasn't anywhere as cool as Disney! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 All of my children have gone to sleep away camp for at least a week,so I would. It sounds well -supervised and very interesting. It's perfectly normal for both parents and children to get butterflies and/or have moments of not wanting the separation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 You didn't mention what your son thought about traveling alone. Does he think he would be okay with it? My decision would be based on an individual case. My dd13 would absolutely go on a trip like that without even giving me a second though. In fact, she would pack right now and be ready to leave in 10 minutes. She is mature enough that I would trust her to be okay as long as I felt comfortable with the adults who will be going on the trip. Now, my ds14 would never want to go on a trip by himself, even if it was the opportunity of a lifetime. The expense of the trip is definitely a concern. You said the trip is next year though, so does that give you a year to come up with the money? I would budget for it. I would look at how many weeks we have to save and divide the expense by that number to see how much money I need to save per week. Then you can see where to cut some corners over time, perhaps with things that will affect your son. For example, at Christmas, tell him that you're putting some money towards his Disney gift and that he will only have a small gift or two at Christmas to open. His birthday gift would be more money towards Disney. Instead of buying the new clothes he might want, that money should go to the trip. Just throwing out some thoughts. I think it would be a worthwhile opportunity if you can pull it off without putting the rest of the family under stress. Just because a trip may not be a necessity, doesn't mean it won't have value. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BamaTanya Posted June 15, 2011 Author Share Posted June 15, 2011 What does your son think about it? I'd have a hard time letting my child go like that for 5 days. I'm not sure what to tell you.....I guess I'd base it a lot upon how my child feels about it (since you said you are not worried about supervision, etc). He knows it's expensive. He wants to do chores to help earn the money (even though I know he can't make that much doing chores in our house). He knows we're trying to make a decision. He said, "If I can't go with the school, could we (our family) all go to Disney World next year?" I would love to be able to say yes. I would love to spend money on something that the whole family could enjoy. But then I realize that taking his brothers on a trip like that . . . well, it wouldn't be that much fun. One of his brothers hates crowds or noise and on our one day trip to an amusement park a couple years ago refused to ride on ANY ride or do ANYthing with the rest of us. Except eat a sno-cone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 He said, "If I can't go with the school, could we (our family) all go to Disney World next year?" A family trip to Disney would cost way more than $700. At least it did for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matryoshka Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 What exactly is your concern that you can't be there? That he won't be properly supervised, or that he might be homesick, or some other reason? I just sent my two dds who are turning 13 next week on a 3-week trip to Germany without me (they're staying with separate families as well), so for me if you think it's a great opportunity and you're not worried about supervision, then go for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I would send him. It sounds like he wants to go, is motivated to work/sacrifice it, and would appreciate the trip. It also sounds like he has possibly missed out on some things because of his siblings' needs, and it would be good to give him something special. I wouldn't plan to go with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 If your son is comfortable with the idea, I'd do what I could to ensure he can go. Can he contribute part of his allowance, or do small jobs for neighbors to help with the finances? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BamaTanya Posted June 15, 2011 Author Share Posted June 15, 2011 A family trip to Disney would cost way more than $700. At least it did for us. Oh, yes, I know that. But $1400 could be a big start toward a 2 or 3 day trip for the whole family. Or even just a week in a condo at the Gulf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lvbnhome Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 We have had them raise 1/2 of the money and have paid the other half. They have really appreciated all the things they have gotten to do, and have appreciated it more, because they had to earn some of the money for it. So, yes. My answer would be yes, if they were willing to earn the other 1/2 of the money.. and at 13...yes, of course.:iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 A family trip to Disney would cost way more than $700. At least it did for us. A lot more.... I would let him go if he wants to go. Disney runs phenomenal educational field trips, which it sounds like your son's school is participating in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 He knows it's expensive. He wants to do chores to help earn the money (even though I know he can't make that much doing chores in our house). He knows we're trying to make a decision. He said, "If I can't go with the school, could we (our family) all go to Disney World next year?" I would love to be able to say yes. I would love to spend money on something that the whole family could enjoy. But then I realize that taking his brothers on a trip like that . . . well, it wouldn't be that much fun. One of his brothers hates crowds or noise and on our one day trip to an amusement park a couple years ago refused to ride on ANY ride or do ANYthing with the rest of us. Except eat a sno-cone. In this situation, I think I would make every effort to get him there. Also, Disney is one of the safest places on earth. Their security is just beyond anything most people are even aware of. I had opportunity to experience this firsthand when we lost track of a kid there (my now fourteen year old). They had him located in minutes--and this was ten years ago in the spring before 9/11. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I would consider it. It would depend on if my son wanted to go. It would depend on how comfortable I was with the teachers/chaperones that were attending. If we could swing it, even if we had to pinch, I would let my son have that experience. It is no different then going away for a week to summer camp, right? Lots of people here do that. If I felt comfortable with the adults attending, I wouldn't feel it necessary for me to go. Especially as you have mentioned that this particular child has been slighted in terms of what has to be given to the other children in the family for their special needs. That age, 13, is a great age to learn a bit of independence, in a "controlled" environment, ya know. On the other hand, I DID go on a school trip, although I was in 10th grade, to Disney, for band. From Nebraska to Florida. Not sure how my parents paid for it....we weren't wealthy, they didn't necessarily push me to EARN it by making me participate in the fundraisers that were offered. Anyhoo, I had a great time, but I don't think I really came away with any "life altering experiences" other than just a fun trip to Disney with no parents! So if in the end, you decide not to do it, I think he will be fine too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 He is 13. could he earn some money mowing lawns or something? I would totally pay a kid to mow my grass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieM Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 If he wants to go, and you can manage to save for it at all, then I think it would be a wonderful opportunity for him. I wouldn't worry about you going as well unless that is easy to swing financially. Maybe your son can think of some creative ways to earn money this summer to help save for the trip. He could mow lawns, get a paper route, take some babysitting classes and look for sitting opportunities, etc. Also, ask everyone who normally gives him gifts for birthday/Christmas to stick with cash, and he can put that aside for spending money on the trip. I went on a school trip to Quebec when I was 14, and it's still something I remember fondly almost 25 years later. My mother was a single parent and I have no clue how she managed to afford it, but I'm so thankful she did that for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I'd let him go; I'd try to see a couple dads/moms that are chaperoning and kinda have them "mom/dad" him while they're gone. I believe he'd be fine, and have a blast! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailofsparks Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 He knows it's expensive. He wants to do chores to help earn the money (even though I know he can't make that much doing chores in our house). He knows we're trying to make a decision. He said, "If I can't go with the school, could we (our family) all go to Disney World next year?" I would love to be able to say yes. I would love to spend money on something that the whole family could enjoy. But then I realize that taking his brothers on a trip like that . . . well, it wouldn't be that much fun. One of his brothers hates crowds or noise and on our one day trip to an amusement park a couple years ago refused to ride on ANY ride or do ANYthing with the rest of us. Except eat a sno-cone. I was thinking for the money, wouldn't it be nice to save so your whole family could go. I think it's very sweet that your ds wants your whole family to go to WDW. But, since it's not likely to ever happen, then yes I would make every effort to let me ds go w/his class. I don't have experience dealing w/balancing special needs kids within a family. . . but I've heard that sometimes siblings of special needs kids can become resentful of being kept from the "fun" things in life. If I were concerned at all re: the other chaperones, I would try to attend or secure an uncle or trusted friend to go, if possible. All the best~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Absolutely, if you can swing it financially, let him go! I would *not* pay the extra $700 and go to all of the effort of sending a parent given that you say you feel comfortable with the chaperones and the level of supervision and the planning of activities. Disney wouldn't be my first choice for a *school* field trip. *BUT* I think that in the right group (and it sounds like you have faith in the adults planning and overseeing this trip), it could be a wonderful learning and growing experience. ... I wouldn't worry at all about *letting* him go. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I would allow my 13 y.o. to go on a trip without me. Typically, kids are assigned a particular chaperone who's repsonsible for a set group of kids. Maybe you could ask to meet the chaperone beforehand, or ask that he be assigned to an adult that you already know. It sounds like a blast! Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Yes I definitely would. It sounds quite safe, and it would be a fun opportunity. It's so sweet that he suggested a family trip as well but since that will not work well for your other children, I would do what I could to make this one happen... Within reason. I would have him earn half the cost of the trip working for other families, not mine. He can make up fliers and leaflet the neighborhood offering lawn mowing, weeding, pet sitting, and general chores assistance. If he mows 5 lawns a week at ten bucks a lawn, he'll be done in 7 weeks. Then birthdays and Christmas gifts can go toward his spending money, and maybe a thank you gift for the chaperon. Then you are paying $350... It sounds like with a year to save you can come up with that without too much strain on the family budget. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Let him go! It sounds like an incredible opportunity and like you trust the school and that he will be supervised. Seriously - this is such a neat opportunity. I wouldn't hesitate at all. And at 13 he should be able to earn some money to contribute. He should start looking into ways he can fundraise - can he babysit? mow lawns? organize a bottle drive? He has a long time to save up for this. Knowing this far in advance means he can let other family members know so for his birthday and Christmas he could ask that instead of a present people put something towards his trip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 So, if you can afford it and he wants to go and you know he's generally a good kid, I'd go for it. My daughter went away to camp for three weeks when she was 12 (and then off to college 800 miles away the following fall). My son went "on tour" with his choir for five or six days when he was 10 and has gone to camp with the group for few days each summer since he was 9-ish. I went to "outdoor school" (which was more or less like camp) for a week when I was in sixth grade and then to Washington, D.C. (from California) with a school group when I was about 13. Both of those trips were well organized and well chaperoned. No one got into any trouble, and we all had wonderful experiences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Yes I definitely would. It sounds quite safe, and it would be a fun opportunity. It's so sweet that he suggested a family trip as well but since that will not work well for your other children, I would do what I could to make this one happen... Within reason. I would have him earn half the cost of the trip working for other families, not mine. He can make up fliers and leaflet the neighborhood offering lawn mowing, weeding, pet sitting, and general chores assistance. If he mows 5 lawns a week at ten bucks a lawn, he'll be done in 7 weeks. Then birthdays and Christmas gifts can go toward his spending money, and maybe a thank you gift for the chaperon. Then you are paying $350... It sounds like with a year to save you can come up with that without too much strain on the family budget. :iagree::iagree: Perhaps you can give him a budget of what you can put toward the trip and expect him to earn the rest. (BTW, the going rate around here for mowing a lawn is between $20 and $30, depending on the size of the yard and the amount of work to be done - like the grass hasn't been mowed in 3 weeks.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Sounds awesome! For that type of trip, with a high 'fun' factor, I would definitely make ds earn a significant amount of the money (above and beyond what he earns from you doing chores). Ideas: wash cars, mow lawns, mother's helper, clean houses, etc etc Just put the word out; people are usually very willing to hire a kid/teen at least once to help with this sort of thing (keep the cost on the cheap side, b/c people do NOT want to risk paying premium prices for inexperienced help). I also agree with making it part of his Christmas/birthday gifts. If he gets gifts from grandma, etc, you can let them know as well. It's fun, yes, and not "needed," but I do think he could learn a great deal and probably be quite inspired. To the extent that it is MANAGEABLE, I think that providing at least some of these opportunities to "no issues" kids can be important in a family dealing with special needs. Good "extras" like trips, camps, lessons, etc, are meant to challenge and teach, just as therapies are, kwim? Each is meant are meant to take the child further, push him out of his comfort zone, and so on. And with multiple kids, sometimes one will get "more" in a certain year, and next year it will be someone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 In short, yes, I would and yes, I have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I would send him. It sounds like he wants to go, is motivated to work/sacrifice it, and would appreciate the trip. It also sounds like he has possibly missed out on some things because of his siblings' needs, and it would be good to give him something special. I wouldn't plan to go with him. :iagree: It sounds like a wonderful opportunity for him. I'd be a nervous wreck the entire time, but I would send him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I'd have him earn some of the money--not a set amt, just show a good effort and maybe shoot for half, but it'd be ok if he didn't get quite that much. I'd send him on his own. As far as the "normal kid in a special needs family" thing, I have experience with that--Fairfax County lets families with kids that have addiction problems or mental health problems take one recreation class every semester at Park and Rec. My daughter took gymnastics that way--could have done a whole week of summer camp, too. It's just a really nice way of giving them a break, and letting them have something of their own, and so on. So, I'd say give your son this opportunity for that reason, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 If you can swing the cost for HIM, I'd send him. My kids have been to sleep away camps since age 10. He's 13, he'll be fine. Chaperoning a 5 day disney field trip would be the last thing *I* personally would want to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda TX Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 My teens have gone on longer trips without me, either because of expense or - in the case of a mission trip to Germany - I just didn't feel "called" to go. Regardless - one of our BEST fundraisers was selling homemade bread. My daughter offered apple-cinnamon, lemon-almond, and wheat for $10 a loaf. She raised nearly $800 in just a few months. Good luck and :grouphug: in your decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I wouldn't have a problem sending my 13yo on that trip, except for the financial. If the financial could be worked out and everyone was satisfied to how it was being worked out then I'd send him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virg Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 We send middle-schoolers and high-schoolers to over-night church camp. My oldest has gone and my brother and I always went as children. It is usually 6 nights and the kids all do fine. My only concern would be supervision but it sounds like that is covered. If you could afford it, it would be an awesome opportunity and a great experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabelen Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Yes, I definitely would. Last year I sent my then 13 yo to a week's trip to Washington DC/New York with her school, she made lots of wonderful memories during that trip and even got to spend some time with some very dear old friends of ours. I am sending her again this summer to Yosemite National Park with her Girl Scout Troop. In your case I would make it happen, especially because of your family circumstances that would not facilitate that happening any other way. It's a great gift that your son will certainly appreciate and love! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Let him go!!! Send him off and tell him to have a great time. My ds went on a 5 day class field trip to D.C. last month. He'll love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Sure. My parents sent me on a guide trip from Melbourne to Central Australia for three weeks when I was 11, with two of my leaders, and three other girls from my group. I had to earn my spending money. I wasn't homesick for a single minute. I've staffed on heaps of camps where even younger kids were away from home for more than a weekend. I only remember one girl going home, but her younger sister stayed. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I would have no problem sending my kids on a trip like that, at that age. But they have been Scouts and have been on many trips like that over the years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 If I couldn't go and dh couldn't go, it would depend on who the chaperones would be. If a good friend was chaperoning, yes. If not, then probably not. But dh and I could be considered over protective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EarleneW Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 If he wants to go, I would find a way to make it happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 When I was 13, I went (alone) with my school class to Washington DC for a week. It was hands down one of the best experiences I had as a kid. All of my friends went and we had a BALL! :) So, if it were me and my son was okay with going/wanted to go alone, then I would send him alone. As far as opportunities go, this is a once in a lifetime...I wouldn't hesitate to give him this opportunity if you can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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