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My3Boys

No Soda Bought With Food Stamps?

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This is an interesting and inflammatory topic! Here are some thoughts on a post I read. I tried to "multi-quote", but I need a clue, apparently!

 

"You would receive a certain dollar amount and be able to purchase anything on the list in any quantity you wish."

 

Noble, but naive. Someone has to pay for this pie-in-the-sky ideal... and it is you and me. Personally, I cannot afford to buy healthful foods in any quantity that I want for my own family so it seems ridiculous to ask people in that position (probably most Americans) to do so for other people. It isn't realistic, who is *actually* going to pay for it?

she still shows up to eat at my house and fill grocery bags from my pantry. She's feeding her friends with her FS... I really have a problem with the sense of entitlement.

 

It sounds like you are enabling the entitlement you claim to have a problem with. Why is she filling up on your pantry items (unless you are at gunpoint, of course) if she is being dishonest with my tax dollars and yours? Where did she get the idea that these values are acceptable?

 

If the government is going to be in the business of feeding the masses then they need to be in the business of educating the masses.

 

Newsflash: These are the same entities who *are* educating our masses. With your tax dollars. Congratulations, it's not working.

 

 

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I HAVE been on FS and I HAVE made poor financial choices that put my family in harms way. That is why I feel the need to remove the wool from some peoples eyes. My poor decisions did NOT make ME a VICTIM. It did not ENTITLE me to government assistance. Assistance is nice, but follow the rules and don't complain. If you want soda improve your situation. I've got news for you. If the choice was homeschool and go on FS or get a job to help support my family; I'd get the job. Again, I live in an area where there is gross abuse of the system. You can walk into almost any home of a FS recipient in this state and see kids in namebrand clothes, big screen tvs and xboxes.

 

I'm sorry that's what you're seeing, but it is ridiculous to lump everyone receiving assistance into that category.

 

Also, something to keep in mind. My MIL spends ridiculous amounts of money on clothing for my kids. Money I don't have & wouldn't spend if I did on name brand clothing. Since we struggle to pay our bills, should I take that gift away from my children?

 

I agree that people need help sometime and I'm fine with that. I am totally okay with using FS to help, but it is a stepping stone. FS are not meant to be a way a life and where I'm from, they are a way of life. It's dispicable and I can't believe the numbers of people that defend that lifestyle. None of my posts have said that I have a problem with someone in true need accepting help. I've even offered a suggestion to help improve the system.

 

If my DH lost his job today, we would have to sell almost everything we own. We would then both obtain minimum wage jobs and be able to keep a roof over our heads. Again, in our area, there are plenty of min. wage job because so many people feel that they are better than to work those jobs.

 

That's great that that's the case in your area. It is NOT the reality here, or in many places throughout the country.

 

If we couldn't keep our house, then we would move in with relatives. If we have these options, why would we go on government assistance? People should do everything they can to take care of their own situation before asking for assistance. That's all I'm saying. Sometimes that means staying with a MIL that disapproves of you. That would definitely encourage me to find a better job quicker. If I had to take government assistance, I wouldn't (and didn't) complain about what I was allowed to purchase. You do better and improve your situation. That's all I'm saying.

 

And your situation is YOUR situation. You can't apply the same "if x, then y" statements to every other person's life. Minimum wage jobs in my area (even if DH & I collectively worked 4 of them) wouldn't cover the cost of living in our area. We have no option but to make it where we are. There is no one to take us in, nothing else we can cut, and no job I can take right now that wouldn't cost my wages and then some in day care for my kids. I don't think you understand how lucky plays a part in one's circumstances in this economy.

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Wow! Just plain WOW! What a lot of broadbrushing ASSUMptions! Sure, there's plenty of jobs out there where people can make more. This country isn't really in a crisis. Women on here don't really have husbands that have lost jobs and lost homes. They must just be lying and the real issue must surely be high tastes and credit cards!

 

Lovely, just lovely.

 

Yes, there are people that abuse things...there always will be. But don't punish the masses for the few. Also, financial counseling does not do anything when one doesn't have a job or one is working their butt off at a job and there aren't higher paying jobs. Especially if that person is already living debt free and no frills. We've been there! When we were in that spot we saw three financial counselors (and we weren't even on food stamps though we should have and could have been). All three told us that they could not help us. In fact, they said we were accomplishing what they themselves could not!

 

Again, I'm an talking about abuses. You naturally assume that everyone on FS needs them and have no responsibility in the situation they are in. So you and I are on opposite extremes in this issue. I see abuse of the system everywhere I turn in my state. Financial counseling, while didn't help you, would help a majority of the people I'm talking about here. We can only talk about our own experiences and the things we've seen. So to discount my opinions because you haven't seen what I'm talking about isn't helpful. I haven't discounted your opinions.

 

I didn't want to enter into this fray, but I can't stop thinking about it. Here's what I think: The government takes your money in taxes to pay for food stamps at the point of a gun, because, if you don't pay your taxes they will eventually come and get you, and they will have guns. I know that's dramatic, but it's also true, and should help people realize exactly how much freedom we have lost with our current tax system. So, if the government uses money it has forcibly confiscated from other people, then surely it should be able to dictate what can be purchased with it. I don't mind helping people with my tax dollars, and I give to charity. BUT I REALLY think it's wrong to allow people to buy things with absolutely no nutritional value (ie soda and candy) with food stamps.

 

It's not only "dramatic," it is overwrought, untrue and frankly starting to sound like a familiar one-note-song. :glare: And there are not enough of these :001_rolleyes: smilies to express myself accurately on that.

 

If I don't pay my taxes, the government will put a lien on everything I own and eventually put me in jail. That is NOT a voluntary system!

 

The way I change the system is to exercise my vote and to try to get others to see things my way so that when they exercise their vote as well, our viewpoint will win out over someone elses. This is how our country was set up. As bad as it is, it's still the best country to live in, IMO.

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You can walk into almost any home of a FS recipient in this state and see kids in namebrand clothes, big screen tvs and xboxes.

 

We're on FS and SSI (social security disability) as our only income. My kids have nice clothes, a Wii, DSs with games, and we have a DVR and netflix (shared acct with my step brother). Why? Because my family insists on getting us "stuff" and refuses to help or contribute in any way to things we could really use. Kids ask for books for bdays, but will get DS or Wii games.

 

My cousin and family are well off with 2 boys a little older than my son. Guess where he gets his nice looking, brand name clothes from?

 

I have an older friend that likes to spoil me. He bought me a laptop, but he also helped pay a ticket (on a vehicle I had sold. New owner never registered it, so ticket was issued on VIN which was registered to me).

 

We do have a flat TV, but only because my stepmother bought it as a moving present. I would not let her get us one bigger than 32" which is what she got.

 

I personally know people who abuse the system, but don't assume we all are.

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I say do ban all the empty calories and only allow healthy foods. IMO if you don't like the rules/restrictions than don't apply for the food stamps or stop receiving them. It's goverment aid not a paycheck to do with what you want with. You don't like than do something about your living situation.

 

So, should the commissary remove all unhealthy foods from their shelves and stop subsidizing those items for us? When we lived in Hawaii I shopped almost exclusively at the commissary because it cost about half of what it would at a local store. Should they only do that for healthy items?

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Is this the irresponsible dsd you have previously spoken of? Thanks for comparing the rest of us to her.

 

You talked about moving away for a better job. My parents did that. After the oil industry tanked in LA, my dad couldn't find a job and we were on food stamps. He had a friend working in another state who got my dad on at his company, so we moved. We were doing fine there until my mom had a difficult pregnancy which forced her to be on bedrest. She didn't lose her job, but she wasn't getting paid. She also racked up thousands upon thousands of dollars in medical bills, despite having "good" insurance. I guess my mom should have known better than to have that baby. I'll be sure to tell her and my sister that some random lady said those bills were their fault. They'll love that! At the same time, my dad's industry started tanking. He worked less and less hours because there was no work. Eventually they had to declare bankruptcy and move back to LA. Within months of moving, my dad lost his job and my mom was suprised my the appearence of my youngest sister. Again, daarn people having babies they can't afford. The nerve. So back to food stamps.

 

I'm sorry you know like 3 people who have things you don't because they abuse the system. But please, don't dare judge everyone. I pray to God you never find yourself in a situation which requires you to seek assistance, and I pray even harder that you aren't friends with someone like yourself.

 

Honestly, you are wasting bandwidth trying to explain reality to someone who makes comments like she posted. In the end, you simply cannot fix stupid.

 

Someone else summed up some previous comments/ideas/suggestions fairly well - "stupid and mean".

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I pray to God you never find yourself in a situation which requires you to seek assistance, and I pray even harder that you aren't friends with someone like yourself.

 

Now, don't wish anything around here.....:lol:

 

Seriously, I'm SO sorry that happened to your family :grouphug:

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Guest Dulcimeramy
We're on FS and SSI (social security disability) as our only income. My kids have nice clothes, a Wii, DSs with games, and we have a DVR and netflix (shared acct with my step brother). Why? Because my family insists on getting us "stuff" and refuses to help or contribute in any way to things we could really use. Kids ask for books for bdays, but will get DS or Wii games.

 

My cousin and family are well off with 2 boys a little older than my son. Guess where he gets his nice looking, brand name clothes from?

 

I have an older friend that likes to spoil me. He bought me a laptop, but he also helped pay a ticket (on a vehicle I had sold. New owner never registered it, so ticket was issued on VIN which was registered to me).

 

We do have a flat TV, but only because my stepmother bought it as a moving present. I would not let her get us one bigger than 32" which is what she got.

 

I personally know people who abuse the system, but don't assume we all are.

 

How despicable! A stepmother, other family members, and an older gentleman friend will buy luxuries for you all but will not assist with the necessities of life! What are they trying to teach you and your children?

 

How very sad.

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Is this the irresponsible dsd you have previously spoken of? Thanks for comparing the rest of us to her.

 

You talked about moving away for a better job. My parents did that. After the oil industry tanked in LA, my dad couldn't find a job and we were on food stamps. He had a friend working in another state who got my dad on at his company, so we moved. We were doing fine there until my mom had a difficult pregnancy which forced her to be on bedrest. She didn't lose her job, but she wasn't getting paid. She also racked up thousands upon thousands of dollars in medical bills, despite having "good" insurance. I guess my mom should have known better than to have that baby. I'll be sure to tell her and my sister that some random lady said those bills were their fault. They'll love that! At the same time, my dad's industry started tanking. He worked less and less hours because there was no work. Eventually they had to declare bankruptcy and move back to LA. Within months of moving, my dad lost his job and my mom was suprised my the appearence of my youngest sister. Again, daarn people having babies they can't afford. The nerve. So back to food stamps.

 

I'm sorry you know like 3 people who have things you don't because they abuse the system. But please, don't dare judge everyone. I pray to God you never find yourself in a situation which requires you to seek assistance, and I pray even harder that you aren't friends with someone like yourself.

 

Yes, and I didn't compare her to everyone else on FS, I used her as an example. I have repeatedly stated in my posts that this is the norm in NM. My experience is all I have to add to this conversation. The same with you. Getting hurt feelings and taking offense doesn't solve a situation. We all speak from our experiences. Abuse in the systems affect everyone in the system. NM can't be the only state where abuse is the norm. And if you actually looked at Mrs. Mungo's links about the food desert you would see that NM actual has more food desert areas than most places on either coast or in any big city in America. I can tell you from experience that there is a Walmart or grocery store in almost every small town in NM. If the corruption were cleaned out there would be more funds for those who actually need them. Restricting purchases on soda is a start in the right direction, IMO.

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Quote:

3. Food stamps SHOULD NOT BE USABLE AT FAST FOOD RESTAURANTS!

Are they!??!! Eeek. I hadn't thought they covered any kind of prepared food....

 

I feel it is important to point out that food stamps are not usable at fast food restaurants.

 

They are usable, however, at convience stores if you are buying "food items" such as milk, cheese, chips, cookies (packaged, not the baked premium kind).

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Is it cocktail hour yet?

 

Sword.jpg

 

I need a dessert recipe with little to 1 stick of butter-anyone?

 

 

Very soon. This whole discussion makes me want some cheese puffs and a pepsi. :lol:

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How despicable! A stepmother, other family members, and an older gentleman friend will buy luxuries for you all but will not assist with the necessities of life! What are they trying to teach you and your children?

 

How very sad.

 

I doubt this PP needs a "lesson". She's an adult mother doing the best she can, just like all of us, right?

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Again, I'm an talking about abuses. You naturally assume that everyone on FS needs them and have no responsibility in the situation they are in. So you and I are on opposite extremes in this issue.

 

You are wrong about why people are on opposite sides of this issue. My dh has worked in government our whole adult lives. There are tons of young families on WIC, they receive supplemental pay if they would qualify for food stamps. The problem is NOT that I assume everyone on FS needs them. The reason I don't necessarily agree with massive reform is two-fold: 1) I'd rather someone have it and not need it than need it and not have it (especially people with kids) and 2) it often costs more to reform programs than to deal with a small percentage of abuse.

 

An aside: did you know some small military bases are only still open because it would cost more to clean the area up to EPA standards than it does to keep them open? There are *tons* of examples like this of which I am aware of the government picking option A because it is cheaper, even if people aren't happy with it.

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We're on FS and SSI (social security disability) as our only income. My kids have nice clothes, a Wii, DSs with games, and we have a DVR and netflix (shared acct with my step brother). Why? Because my family insists on getting us "stuff" and refuses to help or contribute in any way to things we could really use. Kids ask for books for bdays, but will get DS or Wii games.

 

My cousin and family are well off with 2 boys a little older than my son. Guess where he gets his nice looking, brand name clothes from?

 

I have an older friend that likes to spoil me. He bought me a laptop, but he also helped pay a ticket (on a vehicle I had sold. New owner never registered it, so ticket was issued on VIN which was registered to me).

 

We do have a flat TV, but only because my stepmother bought it as a moving present. I would not let her get us one bigger than 32" which is what she got.

 

I personally know people who abuse the system, but don't assume we all are.

 

I am so there with you. My family and friends go for the luxury stuff too. Especially my in-laws who have a thing about the kids "looking" poor. What about BEING poor?!:confused:

 

Thanks for the Nike's and the Guess, but, how about a grocery card? How about some books?:confused:

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The government takes your money in taxes to pay for food stamps at the point of a gun, because, if you don't pay your taxes they will eventually come and get you, and they will have guns.

 

Our current governmental system gives the government power to impose taxes.

 

I have trouble envisioning a government able to carry out the normal functions of governing that *didn't* impose taxes, but I am not an innovator, so I admit the theoretical possibility... but when I imagine the consequences of such a system, I know it is not a place *I* would want to live. The quality of our police and fire services, our national defense, our food and drug safety, our power to negotiate international commerce... all of those depend on a centralized system of government... and *yes*, our ability to effectively provide a very minimal safety net for our citizens.

 

 

Look at the trouble the United States had under the Articles of Confederation, read some of the debates at the time, and see the ways in which the lack of a strong central government threatens our national security.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, if the government uses money it has forcibly confiscated from other people, then surely it should be able to dictate what can be purchased with it.

 

Yes, of course.

 

I don't think anyone has disagreed with that.

 

Right now, as I understand it, food stamp recipients may only use food stamps to purchase items legally designated as "food".

 

I've said a number of times that I would strongly support legislation that recategorized soda, etc as 'non-food' items, which would make them not food stamp eligible.

 

I think picking at one or two specific items and legislating them as not-food stamp eligible is silly, and will cause extra hassle for grocery stores everywhere, without addressing the junk food/nutritional choice issue in any substantiative way.

 

I see challenges and concerns in revamping the system to be more like WIC, but it is a possibility worth considering. ...but until/unless we are willing to invest in doing so, and doing it well, tinkering with the details seems like an enormous waste of everyone's time an resources.

 

 

 

 

I don't mind helping people with my tax dollars, and I give to charity.

 

:iagree:

I wanted to highlight this - it is easy to miss after what came before it... and I always enjoy a chance to strongly agree with someone!

 

BUT I REALLY think it's wrong to allow people to buy things with absolutely no nutritional value (ie soda and candy) with food stamps.

 

Again, I think the solution is to reclassify these as non-foods... which, as I understand it, will have significant tax impacts on the manufacturers... and I imagine would be strongly lobbied against.... but if it is wrong to buy it for folks with food stamps, I think it is wrong to give the same tax breaks to candy and soda production as to that of real food.

 

 

I should note that I don't buy soda. Ever. I would be thrilled if all soda production were to halt tomorrow, or yesterday! I, personally, see no reason for anyone to every buy it - or Kool Aid (well, for science experiments, I guess.) ...but I'm weird. ;)

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Is it cocktail hour yet?

 

Sword.jpg

 

I need a dessert recipe with little to 1 stick of butter-anyone?

 

Well, your picture says "forbidden", so I really want to see it now. I DO think we need more kilted men in this thread. LibraryLover specifically asked for Sean Connery.

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I am so there with you. My family and friends go for the luxury stuff too. Especially my in-laws who have a thing about the kids "looking" poor. What about BEING poor?!:confused:

 

Thanks for the Nike's and the Guess, but, how about a grocery card? How about some books?:confused:

 

Your in-laws could be my MIL. Seriously. She wants us to buy a new car because ours doesn't look good parked on her street, she buys the DC Janie & Jack clothes which, aside from being expensive, are often impractical for 2 little boogers like mine who prefer to play in dirt piles. And she got me a Wii for Christmas. Because I so have all kinds of time & freedom from a 2-y-o monkey to play video games, right? :lol:

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Honestly, you are wasting bandwidth trying to explain reality to someone who makes comments like she posted. In the end, you simply cannot fix stupid.

 

Someone else summed up some previous comments/ideas/suggestions fairly well - "stupid and mean".

 

This is against board rules. My opinion is allowed as well as yours on the topic of this thread. My "stupidity" is not the topic of the thread. If you can't add to the discussion maybe you shouldn't post.

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:iagree:

 

I'd also extend the non-food classification to cheese puffs, potato chips, cookies, candy, and ice cream. And anything else that's junk.

 

So, who gets to decide what is junk? And then where and when does it stop?? I mean, okay soda and chips are junk.... would anything with sugar be deemed junk? Anything? I think it could be ruled and regulated TO DEATH. Some might consider non-organic milk junk. Sure, someone could buy some sirloin with that $5 it cost for the 12 pack of soda, but then where I live it would maybe buy 1 1/2 pounds of sirloin- and Im talking the cheapest ground meat at the store. Thats not much depending on your family size. I mean someone could buy 5 packages of hot dogs for that. And again depending on their family size, have hot dogs for dinner for 5 days. With no bun. LOL Either way its not much meat- if you can call hot dogs meat. LOL But seriously, if we have rules like this, there is just no end to it. I havent read the whole thread yet. I want to say that I agree that when you cant afford ice cream or whatever- you just cant afford it- whether you receive food stamps or not. At first thought, it is easy to say that the tax payers should be able to decide what the food stamp recipients eat.... but then where does it stop? I would think the resentment between the financial classes would be far worse than what it already is if the taxpayers decided everything for people who receive aid. There are so many other things that can be done to "fix" things like this in society- but what it seems to come down to is if people cant make the right choices on their own, then the decisions will be made for us by "them", ie. the government or the tax payers or whatever. So we cant figure out what to eat on our own, we cant figure to drive safely, we cant figure to educate our own children..... so someone has to make rules to make sure we do these things??? I dont know- sounds kind of socialist to me. Socialism doesnt know where/when to stop. I dont know. I really dont. I understand the ideas on both sides. :bigear:

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Our current governmental system gives the government power to impose taxes.

 

 

 

The country was still prosperous and functioning between 1789 and 1913 (when Federal INCOME taxes were imposed). Granted the Fed govt. extracted other types of taxes (not specifically income), but still...

 

 

can't find any kilt pictures...it's not really my area of expertise.

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Guest Dulcimeramy
I doubt this PP needs a "lesson". She's an adult mother doing the best she can, just like all of us, right?

 

I don't know if she is doing the best she can or not. I'm not acquainted with her. Of course, I'd like to assume we are all doing our best.

 

Those relatives and friends, however, are teaching a young woman and her children that the way to take care of people in need is to shower them with luxuries while letting the government feed and shelter them. I find that to be unworthy of decent Americans.

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I feel it is important to point out that food stamps are not usable at fast food restaurants.

 

They are usable, however, at convience stores if you are buying "food items" such as milk, cheese, chips, cookies (packaged, not the baked premium kind).

 

As I posted earlier, I am on food stamps in CA, and there are MANY fast food places that accept food stamps here. Including, but not limited to, Del Taco and Jack in the Box!:glare:

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On what basis does anyone deserve ice cream or chocolate, particularly ice cream or chocolate purchased with my dime?

 

Fully agree with the others who have pointed out the difference between wants and needs.

 

Terri

 

Wow:001_huh: I would think many of those who need food stamps are paying or have paid taxes as well. I can see not allowing soda but sweets I cannot. It seems very harsh to me to say that to someone who is down on their luck:(.

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I don't know if she is doing the best she can or not. I'm not acquainted with her. Of course, I'd like to assume we are all doing our best.

 

Those relatives and friends, however, are teaching a young woman and her children that the way to take care of people in need is to shower them with luxuries while letting the government feed and shelter them. I find that to be unworthy of decent Americans.

 

I *think* her living arrangements are worked out within her family, not the government. Just a thought.

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As I posted earlier, I am on food stamps in CA, and there are MANY fast food places that accept food stamps here. Including, but not limited to, Del Taco and Jack in the Box!:glare:

 

I am not so sure that is the norm around the country.

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Wow:001_huh: I would think many of those who need food stamps are paying or have paid taxes as well. I can see not allowing soda but sweets I cannot. It seems very harsh to me to say that to someone who is down on their luck:(.

 

:iagree:

 

Who didn't look at Charlie Bucket & just want to hand that poor kid a chocolate bar, right?

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We're on FS and SSI (social security disability) as our only income. My kids have nice clothes, a Wii, DSs with games, and we have a DVR and netflix (shared acct with my step brother). Why? Because my family insists on getting us "stuff" and refuses to help or contribute in any way to things we could really use. Kids ask for books for bdays, but will get DS or Wii games.

 

My cousin and family are well off with 2 boys a little older than my son. Guess where he gets his nice looking, brand name clothes from?

 

I have an older friend that likes to spoil me. He bought me a laptop, but he also helped pay a ticket (on a vehicle I had sold. New owner never registered it, so ticket was issued on VIN which was registered to me).

 

We do have a flat TV, but only because my stepmother bought it as a moving present. I would not let her get us one bigger than 32" which is what she got.

 

I personally know people who abuse the system, but don't assume we all are.

 

So sell the high priced items and pay bills or buy what you need. Why go without necessities or have unpaid bills when you could sell some of your luxuries. Again, I don't think anyone should be able to tell you to sell them, but most financial gurus tell you to start by selling the luxuries.

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Speaking of shoes, this is a great story....

 

One day, my DH and I were at a grocery store in December. We are in MN so there was a lot of snow on the ground. A man who appeared to be homeless was there.

 

My DH went to him very quietly (I didn't even know he was doing it at the time) and asked him if he'd like to change shoes. My DH had just bought two pairs of new tennis shoes and he was wearing one of the pairs. I only knew what happened because they changed shoes and DH wore the man's holey, stinky shoes home. He did it so discreetly so the man wasn't embarrassed at all.

 

I was blown away when I saw what real kindness is. I was also very humbled because that would never occur to me. But it has made me more aware of being able to look at another person and instead of judging, trying to do something.

 

What an awesome story! Thank you for sharing. Have you ever seen the show Secret Millionaire? There was a guy who did that also. I bawled.

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I don't have a problem with not permitting sodas to be purchased with food stamps. In fact I don't have a problem with a tax on sodas. Sodas do not provide nutrition. The purpose of the food stamp program is to provide nutrition. Sodas may be cheap, but water is free and that's what my kids drink.

 

In response to another poster, I would not remove soda or junk food from commissaries. Commissaries serve an entirely different purpose. The use of the commissary is a small benefit for those who serve or have served our country; it is not a nutrition program for persons living in poverty.

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I am not so sure that is the norm around the country.

 

Not permitted in PA. You can't even get a hot chicken in the grocery (because it's hot). You can get deli and bakery items though. No fast food (though rumour says you can at Subway, not sure though). I'm actually surprised that CA allows that! Of all places that there should be fresh food!

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I am not so sure that is the norm around the country.

 

Google it. You might be surprised.:glare:

 

And as another poster mentioned we STILL can't buy a hot chicken at the grocery market.

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So sell the high priced items and pay bills or buy what you need. Why go without necessities or have unpaid bills when you could sell some of your luxuries. Again, I don't think anyone should be able to tell you to sell them, but most financial gurus tell you to start by selling the luxuries.

 

:confused:

 

Grandmother: so how do the kids like their Wii we bought them for Christmas?

 

Mother: we sold it to pay a bill...now I need to figure out to pay that same bill next month.

 

Grandmother: but I bought it for them so they would have something fun to do and because I know you can't afford to buy one.

 

Mother: sorry, grandma, but our kids are too poor to be allowed to have any kind of toy or video games. You know, they should just learn their place in society and know that if we don't have money then we need to sell everything out from under them. Still doesn't fix the fact that there are no jobs though Frank has looked high and low. But if we don't sell anything of value, then others say we are abusing the system.

 

Grandmother's future response may be to not buy the kids anything for Christmas anymore, because you know that those darned parents are just going to turn around and hock it.

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Guest Dulcimeramy
So sell the high priced items and pay bills or buy what you need. Why go without necessities or have unpaid bills when you could sell some of your luxuries. Again, I don't think anyone should be able to tell you to sell them, but most financial gurus tell you to start by selling the luxuries.

 

That is something taught from generation to generation, I think. I would not accept expensive luxury gifts if I couldn't provide necessities for my family, but I've learned to concede that these things are cultural and old-fashioned.

 

Probably I'll be bashed for saying that, but it is my opinion and it doesn't come from a place of privilege. I'd stack my poor-folks story against anyone's. People just have different perspectives on entitlements and that will always be true, I think.

 

There is definitely a generation gap about it.

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:confused:

 

Grandmother: so how do the kids like their Wii we bought them for Christmas?

 

Mother: we sold it to pay a bill...now I need to figure out to pay that same bill next month.

 

Grandmother: but I bought it for them so they would have something fun to do and because I know you can't afford to buy one.

 

Mother: sorry, grandma, but our kids are too poor to be allowed to have any kind of toy or video games. You know, they should just learn their place in society and know that if we don't have money then we need to sell everything out from under them. Still doesn't fix the fact that there are no jobs though Frank has looked high and low. Butif we don't sell anything of value, then others say we are abusing the system.

 

Grandmother's future response may be to not buy the kids anything for Christmas anymore, because you know that those darned parents are just going to turn around and hock it.

 

I like you.

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How despicable! A stepmother, other family members, and an older gentleman friend will buy luxuries for you all but will not assist with the necessities of life! What are they trying to teach you and your children?

 

How very sad.

 

IMHO maybe she has nothing to learn but has fallen on some hard times. I see nothing wrong with family members and friends giving nice gifts although it is too bad they are not giving what the poster wants. It is possible for someone to do everything right financially and still fall on hard times.

 

I think it is wrong to assume that someone requiring assistance needs to learn something as if they were not hard working or frugal.

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This is against board rules. My opinion is allowed as well as yours on the topic of this thread. My "stupidity" is not the topic of the thread. If you can't add to the discussion maybe you shouldn't post.

 

Perhaps you should refrain from posting until you start using facts rather than broad generalizations? You have repeatedly made comments about the behavior of the majority of food stamp recipients in NM. In 2009, there were over 40,000 households in your state that received food stamp only assistance. I am curious as to how many of these families you personally know. It would have to be in the thousands fro you to be able to make accusations like that, but I am willing to wager you are basing those generalizations on a very small sample and through a very biased point of view.

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So sell the high priced items and pay bills or buy what you need. Why go without necessities or have unpaid bills when you could sell some of your luxuries. Again, I don't think anyone should be able to tell you to sell them, but most financial gurus tell you to start by selling the luxuries.

 

 

Seems kinda silly to tell them they may want to sell gifts of value given by friends and family... that is a personal choice, and one that doesn't cost taxpayers any money! You have already admitted that you contribute to your DSD basically stealing from us, the taxpayers, by feeding her and giving her groceries when she is "entitled" (thanks, discerning government) to more free food than she needs by your own admission. Your choice is actually costing Americans money.

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This is an interesting and inflammatory topic! Here are some thoughts on a post I read. I tried to "multi-quote", but I need a clue, apparently!

 

"You would receive a certain dollar amount and be able to purchase anything on the list in any quantity you wish."

 

Noble, but naive. Someone has to pay for this pie-in-the-sky ideal... and it is you and me. Personally, I cannot afford to buy healthful foods in any quantity that I want for my own family so it seems ridiculous to ask people in that position (probably most Americans) to do so for other people. It isn't realistic, who is *actually* going to pay for it?

 

This is how it already is, except there are very few limits on what is actually purchased. Read the sentence above the one you quoted. You could spend how ever much money you wanted on different types of flours, sweetners, fruit/veg & meats.

she still shows up to eat at my house and fill grocery bags from my pantry. She's feeding her friends with her FS... I really have a problem with the sense of entitlement.

 

It sounds like you are enabling the entitlement you claim to have a problem with. Why is she filling up on your pantry items (unless you are at gunpoint, of course) if she is being dishonest with my tax dollars and yours? Where did she get the idea that these values are acceptable?

 

If you have truly read my other posts regarding the issues with this dsd you would not need to ask this. Yes, it's enabling and abuse of the FS system. It's beyond my control, it's DH's decision and it's not worth a divorce.

If the government is going to be in the business of feeding the masses then they need to be in the business of educating the masses.

 

Newsflash: These are the same entities who *are* educating our masses. With your tax dollars. Congratulations, it's not working.

It's the only government we have. Re-education is our best option, IMO. If you drastically change the system and people who are used to buying corn dogs and burritos are suddenly only allowed to buy staples they will need some education about how to feed their families with the assistance provided. It's the only responsible way to handle it.

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That is something taught from generation to generation, I think. I would not accept expensive luxury gifts if I couldn't provide necessities for my family, but I've learned to concede that these things are cultural and old-fashioned.

 

Probably I'll be bashed for saying that, but it is my opinion and it doesn't come from a place of privilege. I'd stack my poor-folks story against anyone's. People just have different perspectives on entitlements and that will always be true, I think.

 

There is definitely a generation gap about it.

 

I think other threads on topics like this often go this way...one gets question after question basically that is, "well then what do I/she/they do about this then? or that? or the other?, if I/she/they don't have FS or whatever aid they NEED?" and one find themselves trying to solve every problem the subject person has in their life...It's really interesting how that goes, IMO.

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Guest Dulcimeramy
:confused:

 

Grandmother: so how do the kids like their Wii we bought them for Christmas?

 

Mother: we sold it to pay a bill...now I need to figure out to pay that same bill next month.

 

Grandmother: but I bought it for them so they would have something fun to do and because I know you can't afford to buy one.

 

Mother: sorry, grandma, but our kids are too poor to be allowed to have any kind of toy or video games. You know, they should just learn their place in society and know that if we don't have money then we need to sell everything out from under them. Still doesn't fix the fact that there are no jobs though Frank has looked high and low. But if we don't sell anything of value, then others say we are abusing the system.

 

Grandmother's future response may be to not buy the kids anything for Christmas anymore, because you know that those darned parents are just going to turn around and hock it.

 

That's not how the conversation went when my mother put her foot down, and not how it went when I had to deal with my MIL.

 

It goes like this:

 

Mom: I'm getting the kids a Wii for Christmas!

Me: That's kind of you, Mom, but Billy is desperate for shoes.

Mom: Well, I want him to have some fun like the other kids.

Me: Mom, I can't dictate the gifts you give to Billy, but I would sell the Wii for the necessities Billy really needs. That's just how it is because DH can't find work.

 

At that point, the relative decides to either get the Wii to be played with at her house because you are ungrateful, or gets mortally offended and cuts you out of their life for not pretending you are rich, or...

 

they wake up to the realities of poverty and spend the money on a pair of shoes and a skateboard, which are more in keeping with the kid's home life and actual needs.

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That is something taught from generation to generation, I think. I would not accept expensive luxury gifts if I couldn't provide necessities for my family, but I've learned to concede that these things are cultural and old-fashioned.

 

Probably I'll be bashed for saying that, but it is my opinion and it doesn't come from a place of privilege. I'd stack my poor-folks story against anyone's. People just have different perspectives on entitlements and that will always be true, I think.

 

There is definitely a generation gap about it.

 

No bashing. Saying this as gently as I can. But. I don't understand that. If your parents wanted to gift your child a special gift that you couldn't afford, you wouldn't allow them to accept it? I can see explaining to your kids that this is a special luxury that he/she is very fortunate to have received, but to say, "Sorry Mike. You need to give that Xbox back to grandma because we can't pay X bill this month." I could absolutely not do that.

 

ETA: Sorry. Guess you already covered this. And your family is much more... structured than mine. I don't think my parents or my ILs have ever asked, "Can we buy X for the kids?" They ask what they need, and if I mention a necessity, they will often get than PLUS whatever fun item the giver wants to give.

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As I posted earlier, I am on food stamps in CA, and there are MANY fast food places that accept food stamps here. Including, but not limited to, Del Taco and Jack in the Box!:glare:

 

I am not so sure that is the norm around the country.

 

Google it. You might be surprised.:glare:

 

And as another poster mentioned we STILL can't buy a hot chicken at the grocery market.

 

But it sounds like you can at el Pollo Loco

 

I took your advice and googled it.

 

ebt fast food article

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:confused:

 

Grandmother: so how do the kids like their Wii we bought them for Christmas?

 

Mother: we sold it to pay a bill...now I need to figure out to pay that same bill next month.

 

Grandmother: but I bought it for them so they would have something fun to do and because I know you can't afford to buy one.

 

Mother: sorry, grandma, but our kids are too poor to be allowed to have any kind of toy or video games. You know, they should just learn their place in society and know that if we don't have money then we need to sell everything out from under them. Still doesn't fix the fact that there are no jobs though Frank has looked high and low. But if we don't sell anything of value, then others say we are abusing the system.

 

Grandmother's future response may be to not buy the kids anything for Christmas anymore, because you know that those darned parents are just going to turn around and hock it.

 

PP said that she has told her family what type of help she needs and they have refused. Why should high priced items be forced on her? If her family were really willing to help her they pay bills for her until she could get on her feet, not give her high priced items. It's not an entitlement thing. If her family gives her a wii AND helps pay the bills great. But what is it telling the kids that they can't pay bills but have a wii? This is were the sense of entitlement comes from. "We must have a wii to have fun with even though we can't afford our bills." Did you or I have a wii (insert Atari here)? Did that mean that WE were a lesser human? It's not a matter of status that you see that it is is the problem.

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Perhaps you should refrain from posting until you start using facts rather than broad generalizations? You have repeatedly made comments about the behavior of the majority of food stamp recipients in NM. In 2009, there were over 40,000 households in your state that received food stamp only assistance. I am curious as to how many of these families you personally know. It would have to be in the thousands fro you to be able to make accusations like that, but I am willing to wager you are basing those generalizations on a very small sample and through a very biased point of view.

 

No kilts yet, but I found this, one of my favorites:

 

WHITE BEAN CHICKEN CHILI

Ingredients

 

 

  • 2 tablespoons vegetable oil

  • 1 onion, chopped

  • 2 cloves garlic, minced

  • 1 (14.5 ounce) can chicken broth

  • 1 (18.75 ounce) can tomatillos, drained and chopped

  • 1 (16 ounce) can diced tomatoes

  • 1 (7 ounce) can diced green chiles

  • 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano

  • 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander seed

  • 1/4 teaspoon ground cumin

  • 2 ears fresh corn

  • 1 pound diced, cooked chicken meat

  • 1 (15 ounce) can white beans

  • 1 pinch salt and black pepper to taste

 

 

Directions

 

 

  1. Heat oil, and cook onion and garlic until soft.

  2. Stir in broth, tomatillos, tomatoes, chilies, and spices. Bring to a boil, then simmer for 10 minutes.

  3. Add corn, chicken, and beans; simmer 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

 

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Perhaps you should refrain from posting until you start using facts rather than broad generalizations? You have repeatedly made comments about the behavior of the majority of food stamp recipients in NM. In 2009, there were over 40,000 households in your state that received food stamp only assistance. I am curious as to how many of these families you personally know. It would have to be in the thousands fro you to be able to make accusations like that, but I am willing to wager you are basing those generalizations on a very small sample and through a very biased point of view.

 

Ummmm, I used to work in the system.

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Guest Dulcimeramy
I think other threads on topics like this often go this way...one gets question after question basically that is, "well then what do I/she/they do about this then? or that? or the other?, if I/she/they don't have FS or whatever aid they NEED?" and one find themselves trying to solve every problem the subject person has in their life...It's really interesting how that goes, IMO.

 

You are right. That is probably one of the many reasons we never get anywhere with these threads.

 

Individually and case-by-case, it is pretty hard to tell someone that they shouldn't feel entitled to a flat-screen TV and name brand sneakers and food stamps.

 

Generally speaking, though, it isn't sustainable for a nation to have so many people on government aid. Those receiving aid outnumber those paying taxes. It can't go on.

 

So when do we grow up and talk about the future of the nation? When do we stop childishly focusing on every mom and child's wants (especially about how everyone is entitled to some fun and luxury, even though half the nation is doing without either and not on aid) and start talking about how to teach the younger generation about frugality and responsibility?

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You are right. That is probably one of the many reasons we never get anywhere with these threads.

 

Individually and case-by-case, it is pretty hard to tell someone that they shouldn't feel entitled to a flat-screen TV and name brand sneakers and food stamps.

 

Generally speaking, though, it isn't sustainable for a nation to have so many people on government aid. Those receiving aid outnumber those paying taxes. It can't go on.

 

So when do we grow up and talk about the future of the nation? When do we stop childishly focusing on every mom and child's wants (especially about how everyone is entitled to some fun and luxury, even though half the nation is doing without either and not on aid) and start talking about how to teach the younger generation about frugality and responsibility?

 

Till the money REALLY runs out.

 

We've let Fed Govt. try to fix poverty for 50 years...$8 Trillion spent. What do we have?

 

$8 Trillion worth of poverty, and cities that look like they were detonated by nukes. It's sad, really.

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You are right. That is probably one of the many reasons we never get anywhere with these threads.

 

Individually and case-by-case, it is pretty hard to tell someone that they shouldn't feel entitled to a flat-screen TV and name brand sneakers and food stamps.

 

Generally speaking, though, it isn't sustainable for a nation to have so many people on government aid. Those receiving aid outnumber those paying taxes. It can't go on.

 

So when do we grow up and talk about the future of the nation? When do we stop childishly focusing on every mom and child's wants (especially about how everyone is entitled to some fun and luxury, even though half the nation is doing without either and not on aid) and start talking about how to teach the younger generation about frugality and responsibility?

 

:iagree:

Thank you so much! This topic is so hard to discuss which is why we always end up with these threads closed or deleted. It is hard to rise above the feelings, emotions and personal experiences to talk objectively about how to solve this problem.

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