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No Soda Bought With Food Stamps?


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How despicable! A stepmother, other family members, and an older gentleman friend will buy luxuries for you all but will not assist with the necessities of life! What are they trying to teach you and your children?

 

How very sad.

 

I doubt this PP needs a "lesson". She's an adult mother doing the best she can, just like all of us, right?

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Again, I'm an talking about abuses. You naturally assume that everyone on FS needs them and have no responsibility in the situation they are in. So you and I are on opposite extremes in this issue.

 

You are wrong about why people are on opposite sides of this issue. My dh has worked in government our whole adult lives. There are tons of young families on WIC, they receive supplemental pay if they would qualify for food stamps. The problem is NOT that I assume everyone on FS needs them. The reason I don't necessarily agree with massive reform is two-fold: 1) I'd rather someone have it and not need it than need it and not have it (especially people with kids) and 2) it often costs more to reform programs than to deal with a small percentage of abuse.

 

An aside: did you know some small military bases are only still open because it would cost more to clean the area up to EPA standards than it does to keep them open? There are *tons* of examples like this of which I am aware of the government picking option A because it is cheaper, even if people aren't happy with it.

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We're on FS and SSI (social security disability) as our only income. My kids have nice clothes, a Wii, DSs with games, and we have a DVR and netflix (shared acct with my step brother). Why? Because my family insists on getting us "stuff" and refuses to help or contribute in any way to things we could really use. Kids ask for books for bdays, but will get DS or Wii games.

 

My cousin and family are well off with 2 boys a little older than my son. Guess where he gets his nice looking, brand name clothes from?

 

I have an older friend that likes to spoil me. He bought me a laptop, but he also helped pay a ticket (on a vehicle I had sold. New owner never registered it, so ticket was issued on VIN which was registered to me).

 

We do have a flat TV, but only because my stepmother bought it as a moving present. I would not let her get us one bigger than 32" which is what she got.

 

I personally know people who abuse the system, but don't assume we all are.

 

I am so there with you. My family and friends go for the luxury stuff too. Especially my in-laws who have a thing about the kids "looking" poor. What about BEING poor?!:confused:

 

Thanks for the Nike's and the Guess, but, how about a grocery card? How about some books?:confused:

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Is it cocktail hour yet?

 

Sword.jpg

 

I need a dessert recipe with little to 1 stick of butter-anyone?

 

Well, your picture says "forbidden", so I really want to see it now. I DO think we need more kilted men in this thread. LibraryLover specifically asked for Sean Connery.

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I am so there with you. My family and friends go for the luxury stuff too. Especially my in-laws who have a thing about the kids "looking" poor. What about BEING poor?!:confused:

 

Thanks for the Nike's and the Guess, but, how about a grocery card? How about some books?:confused:

 

Your in-laws could be my MIL. Seriously. She wants us to buy a new car because ours doesn't look good parked on her street, she buys the DC Janie & Jack clothes which, aside from being expensive, are often impractical for 2 little boogers like mine who prefer to play in dirt piles. And she got me a Wii for Christmas. Because I so have all kinds of time & freedom from a 2-y-o monkey to play video games, right? :lol:

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:iagree:

 

I'd also extend the non-food classification to cheese puffs, potato chips, cookies, candy, and ice cream. And anything else that's junk.

 

So, who gets to decide what is junk? And then where and when does it stop?? I mean, okay soda and chips are junk.... would anything with sugar be deemed junk? Anything? I think it could be ruled and regulated TO DEATH. Some might consider non-organic milk junk. Sure, someone could buy some sirloin with that $5 it cost for the 12 pack of soda, but then where I live it would maybe buy 1 1/2 pounds of sirloin- and Im talking the cheapest ground meat at the store. Thats not much depending on your family size. I mean someone could buy 5 packages of hot dogs for that. And again depending on their family size, have hot dogs for dinner for 5 days. With no bun. LOL Either way its not much meat- if you can call hot dogs meat. LOL But seriously, if we have rules like this, there is just no end to it. I havent read the whole thread yet. I want to say that I agree that when you cant afford ice cream or whatever- you just cant afford it- whether you receive food stamps or not. At first thought, it is easy to say that the tax payers should be able to decide what the food stamp recipients eat.... but then where does it stop? I would think the resentment between the financial classes would be far worse than what it already is if the taxpayers decided everything for people who receive aid. There are so many other things that can be done to "fix" things like this in society- but what it seems to come down to is if people cant make the right choices on their own, then the decisions will be made for us by "them", ie. the government or the tax payers or whatever. So we cant figure out what to eat on our own, we cant figure to drive safely, we cant figure to educate our own children..... so someone has to make rules to make sure we do these things??? I dont know- sounds kind of socialist to me. Socialism doesnt know where/when to stop. I dont know. I really dont. I understand the ideas on both sides. :bigear:

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Our current governmental system gives the government power to impose taxes.

 

 

 

The country was still prosperous and functioning between 1789 and 1913 (when Federal INCOME taxes were imposed). Granted the Fed govt. extracted other types of taxes (not specifically income), but still...

 

 

can't find any kilt pictures...it's not really my area of expertise.

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Guest Dulcimeramy
I doubt this PP needs a "lesson". She's an adult mother doing the best she can, just like all of us, right?

 

I don't know if she is doing the best she can or not. I'm not acquainted with her. Of course, I'd like to assume we are all doing our best.

 

Those relatives and friends, however, are teaching a young woman and her children that the way to take care of people in need is to shower them with luxuries while letting the government feed and shelter them. I find that to be unworthy of decent Americans.

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I feel it is important to point out that food stamps are not usable at fast food restaurants.

 

They are usable, however, at convience stores if you are buying "food items" such as milk, cheese, chips, cookies (packaged, not the baked premium kind).

 

As I posted earlier, I am on food stamps in CA, and there are MANY fast food places that accept food stamps here. Including, but not limited to, Del Taco and Jack in the Box!:glare:

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On what basis does anyone deserve ice cream or chocolate, particularly ice cream or chocolate purchased with my dime?

 

Fully agree with the others who have pointed out the difference between wants and needs.

 

Terri

 

Wow:001_huh: I would think many of those who need food stamps are paying or have paid taxes as well. I can see not allowing soda but sweets I cannot. It seems very harsh to me to say that to someone who is down on their luck:(.

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I don't know if she is doing the best she can or not. I'm not acquainted with her. Of course, I'd like to assume we are all doing our best.

 

Those relatives and friends, however, are teaching a young woman and her children that the way to take care of people in need is to shower them with luxuries while letting the government feed and shelter them. I find that to be unworthy of decent Americans.

 

I *think* her living arrangements are worked out within her family, not the government. Just a thought.

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Wow:001_huh: I would think many of those who need food stamps are paying or have paid taxes as well. I can see not allowing soda but sweets I cannot. It seems very harsh to me to say that to someone who is down on their luck:(.

 

:iagree:

 

Who didn't look at Charlie Bucket & just want to hand that poor kid a chocolate bar, right?

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We're on FS and SSI (social security disability) as our only income. My kids have nice clothes, a Wii, DSs with games, and we have a DVR and netflix (shared acct with my step brother). Why? Because my family insists on getting us "stuff" and refuses to help or contribute in any way to things we could really use. Kids ask for books for bdays, but will get DS or Wii games.

 

My cousin and family are well off with 2 boys a little older than my son. Guess where he gets his nice looking, brand name clothes from?

 

I have an older friend that likes to spoil me. He bought me a laptop, but he also helped pay a ticket (on a vehicle I had sold. New owner never registered it, so ticket was issued on VIN which was registered to me).

 

We do have a flat TV, but only because my stepmother bought it as a moving present. I would not let her get us one bigger than 32" which is what she got.

 

I personally know people who abuse the system, but don't assume we all are.

 

So sell the high priced items and pay bills or buy what you need. Why go without necessities or have unpaid bills when you could sell some of your luxuries. Again, I don't think anyone should be able to tell you to sell them, but most financial gurus tell you to start by selling the luxuries.

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Speaking of shoes, this is a great story....

 

One day, my DH and I were at a grocery store in December. We are in MN so there was a lot of snow on the ground. A man who appeared to be homeless was there.

 

My DH went to him very quietly (I didn't even know he was doing it at the time) and asked him if he'd like to change shoes. My DH had just bought two pairs of new tennis shoes and he was wearing one of the pairs. I only knew what happened because they changed shoes and DH wore the man's holey, stinky shoes home. He did it so discreetly so the man wasn't embarrassed at all.

 

I was blown away when I saw what real kindness is. I was also very humbled because that would never occur to me. But it has made me more aware of being able to look at another person and instead of judging, trying to do something.

 

What an awesome story! Thank you for sharing. Have you ever seen the show Secret Millionaire? There was a guy who did that also. I bawled.

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I don't have a problem with not permitting sodas to be purchased with food stamps. In fact I don't have a problem with a tax on sodas. Sodas do not provide nutrition. The purpose of the food stamp program is to provide nutrition. Sodas may be cheap, but water is free and that's what my kids drink.

 

In response to another poster, I would not remove soda or junk food from commissaries. Commissaries serve an entirely different purpose. The use of the commissary is a small benefit for those who serve or have served our country; it is not a nutrition program for persons living in poverty.

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I am not so sure that is the norm around the country.

 

Not permitted in PA. You can't even get a hot chicken in the grocery (because it's hot). You can get deli and bakery items though. No fast food (though rumour says you can at Subway, not sure though). I'm actually surprised that CA allows that! Of all places that there should be fresh food!

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So sell the high priced items and pay bills or buy what you need. Why go without necessities or have unpaid bills when you could sell some of your luxuries. Again, I don't think anyone should be able to tell you to sell them, but most financial gurus tell you to start by selling the luxuries.

 

:confused:

 

Grandmother: so how do the kids like their Wii we bought them for Christmas?

 

Mother: we sold it to pay a bill...now I need to figure out to pay that same bill next month.

 

Grandmother: but I bought it for them so they would have something fun to do and because I know you can't afford to buy one.

 

Mother: sorry, grandma, but our kids are too poor to be allowed to have any kind of toy or video games. You know, they should just learn their place in society and know that if we don't have money then we need to sell everything out from under them. Still doesn't fix the fact that there are no jobs though Frank has looked high and low. But if we don't sell anything of value, then others say we are abusing the system.

 

Grandmother's future response may be to not buy the kids anything for Christmas anymore, because you know that those darned parents are just going to turn around and hock it.

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Guest Dulcimeramy
So sell the high priced items and pay bills or buy what you need. Why go without necessities or have unpaid bills when you could sell some of your luxuries. Again, I don't think anyone should be able to tell you to sell them, but most financial gurus tell you to start by selling the luxuries.

 

That is something taught from generation to generation, I think. I would not accept expensive luxury gifts if I couldn't provide necessities for my family, but I've learned to concede that these things are cultural and old-fashioned.

 

Probably I'll be bashed for saying that, but it is my opinion and it doesn't come from a place of privilege. I'd stack my poor-folks story against anyone's. People just have different perspectives on entitlements and that will always be true, I think.

 

There is definitely a generation gap about it.

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:confused:

 

Grandmother: so how do the kids like their Wii we bought them for Christmas?

 

Mother: we sold it to pay a bill...now I need to figure out to pay that same bill next month.

 

Grandmother: but I bought it for them so they would have something fun to do and because I know you can't afford to buy one.

 

Mother: sorry, grandma, but our kids are too poor to be allowed to have any kind of toy or video games. You know, they should just learn their place in society and know that if we don't have money then we need to sell everything out from under them. Still doesn't fix the fact that there are no jobs though Frank has looked high and low. Butif we don't sell anything of value, then others say we are abusing the system.

 

Grandmother's future response may be to not buy the kids anything for Christmas anymore, because you know that those darned parents are just going to turn around and hock it.

 

I like you.

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How despicable! A stepmother, other family members, and an older gentleman friend will buy luxuries for you all but will not assist with the necessities of life! What are they trying to teach you and your children?

 

How very sad.

 

IMHO maybe she has nothing to learn but has fallen on some hard times. I see nothing wrong with family members and friends giving nice gifts although it is too bad they are not giving what the poster wants. It is possible for someone to do everything right financially and still fall on hard times.

 

I think it is wrong to assume that someone requiring assistance needs to learn something as if they were not hard working or frugal.

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So sell the high priced items and pay bills or buy what you need. Why go without necessities or have unpaid bills when you could sell some of your luxuries. Again, I don't think anyone should be able to tell you to sell them, but most financial gurus tell you to start by selling the luxuries.

 

 

Seems kinda silly to tell them they may want to sell gifts of value given by friends and family... that is a personal choice, and one that doesn't cost taxpayers any money! You have already admitted that you contribute to your DSD basically stealing from us, the taxpayers, by feeding her and giving her groceries when she is "entitled" (thanks, discerning government) to more free food than she needs by your own admission. Your choice is actually costing Americans money.

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This is an interesting and inflammatory topic! Here are some thoughts on a post I read. I tried to "multi-quote", but I need a clue, apparently!

 

"You would receive a certain dollar amount and be able to purchase anything on the list in any quantity you wish."

 

Noble, but naive. Someone has to pay for this pie-in-the-sky ideal... and it is you and me. Personally, I cannot afford to buy healthful foods in any quantity that I want for my own family so it seems ridiculous to ask people in that position (probably most Americans) to do so for other people. It isn't realistic, who is *actually* going to pay for it?

 

This is how it already is, except there are very few limits on what is actually purchased. Read the sentence above the one you quoted. You could spend how ever much money you wanted on different types of flours, sweetners, fruit/veg & meats.

she still shows up to eat at my house and fill grocery bags from my pantry. She's feeding her friends with her FS... I really have a problem with the sense of entitlement.

 

It sounds like you are enabling the entitlement you claim to have a problem with. Why is she filling up on your pantry items (unless you are at gunpoint, of course) if she is being dishonest with my tax dollars and yours? Where did she get the idea that these values are acceptable?

 

If you have truly read my other posts regarding the issues with this dsd you would not need to ask this. Yes, it's enabling and abuse of the FS system. It's beyond my control, it's DH's decision and it's not worth a divorce.

If the government is going to be in the business of feeding the masses then they need to be in the business of educating the masses.

 

Newsflash: These are the same entities who *are* educating our masses. With your tax dollars. Congratulations, it's not working.

It's the only government we have. Re-education is our best option, IMO. If you drastically change the system and people who are used to buying corn dogs and burritos are suddenly only allowed to buy staples they will need some education about how to feed their families with the assistance provided. It's the only responsible way to handle it.

Edited by Cheryl in NM
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That is something taught from generation to generation, I think. I would not accept expensive luxury gifts if I couldn't provide necessities for my family, but I've learned to concede that these things are cultural and old-fashioned.

 

Probably I'll be bashed for saying that, but it is my opinion and it doesn't come from a place of privilege. I'd stack my poor-folks story against anyone's. People just have different perspectives on entitlements and that will always be true, I think.

 

There is definitely a generation gap about it.

 

I think other threads on topics like this often go this way...one gets question after question basically that is, "well then what do I/she/they do about this then? or that? or the other?, if I/she/they don't have FS or whatever aid they NEED?" and one find themselves trying to solve every problem the subject person has in their life...It's really interesting how that goes, IMO.

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Guest Dulcimeramy
:confused:

 

Grandmother: so how do the kids like their Wii we bought them for Christmas?

 

Mother: we sold it to pay a bill...now I need to figure out to pay that same bill next month.

 

Grandmother: but I bought it for them so they would have something fun to do and because I know you can't afford to buy one.

 

Mother: sorry, grandma, but our kids are too poor to be allowed to have any kind of toy or video games. You know, they should just learn their place in society and know that if we don't have money then we need to sell everything out from under them. Still doesn't fix the fact that there are no jobs though Frank has looked high and low. But if we don't sell anything of value, then others say we are abusing the system.

 

Grandmother's future response may be to not buy the kids anything for Christmas anymore, because you know that those darned parents are just going to turn around and hock it.

 

That's not how the conversation went when my mother put her foot down, and not how it went when I had to deal with my MIL.

 

It goes like this:

 

Mom: I'm getting the kids a Wii for Christmas!

Me: That's kind of you, Mom, but Billy is desperate for shoes.

Mom: Well, I want him to have some fun like the other kids.

Me: Mom, I can't dictate the gifts you give to Billy, but I would sell the Wii for the necessities Billy really needs. That's just how it is because DH can't find work.

 

At that point, the relative decides to either get the Wii to be played with at her house because you are ungrateful, or gets mortally offended and cuts you out of their life for not pretending you are rich, or...

 

they wake up to the realities of poverty and spend the money on a pair of shoes and a skateboard, which are more in keeping with the kid's home life and actual needs.

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That is something taught from generation to generation, I think. I would not accept expensive luxury gifts if I couldn't provide necessities for my family, but I've learned to concede that these things are cultural and old-fashioned.

 

Probably I'll be bashed for saying that, but it is my opinion and it doesn't come from a place of privilege. I'd stack my poor-folks story against anyone's. People just have different perspectives on entitlements and that will always be true, I think.

 

There is definitely a generation gap about it.

 

No bashing. Saying this as gently as I can. But. I don't understand that. If your parents wanted to gift your child a special gift that you couldn't afford, you wouldn't allow them to accept it? I can see explaining to your kids that this is a special luxury that he/she is very fortunate to have received, but to say, "Sorry Mike. You need to give that Xbox back to grandma because we can't pay X bill this month." I could absolutely not do that.

 

ETA: Sorry. Guess you already covered this. And your family is much more... structured than mine. I don't think my parents or my ILs have ever asked, "Can we buy X for the kids?" They ask what they need, and if I mention a necessity, they will often get than PLUS whatever fun item the giver wants to give.

Edited by KristinaBreece
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As I posted earlier, I am on food stamps in CA, and there are MANY fast food places that accept food stamps here. Including, but not limited to, Del Taco and Jack in the Box!:glare:

 

I am not so sure that is the norm around the country.

 

Google it. You might be surprised.:glare:

 

And as another poster mentioned we STILL can't buy a hot chicken at the grocery market.

 

But it sounds like you can at el Pollo Loco

 

I took your advice and googled it.

 

ebt fast food article

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:confused:

 

Grandmother: so how do the kids like their Wii we bought them for Christmas?

 

Mother: we sold it to pay a bill...now I need to figure out to pay that same bill next month.

 

Grandmother: but I bought it for them so they would have something fun to do and because I know you can't afford to buy one.

 

Mother: sorry, grandma, but our kids are too poor to be allowed to have any kind of toy or video games. You know, they should just learn their place in society and know that if we don't have money then we need to sell everything out from under them. Still doesn't fix the fact that there are no jobs though Frank has looked high and low. But if we don't sell anything of value, then others say we are abusing the system.

 

Grandmother's future response may be to not buy the kids anything for Christmas anymore, because you know that those darned parents are just going to turn around and hock it.

 

PP said that she has told her family what type of help she needs and they have refused. Why should high priced items be forced on her? If her family were really willing to help her they pay bills for her until she could get on her feet, not give her high priced items. It's not an entitlement thing. If her family gives her a wii AND helps pay the bills great. But what is it telling the kids that they can't pay bills but have a wii? This is were the sense of entitlement comes from. "We must have a wii to have fun with even though we can't afford our bills." Did you or I have a wii (insert Atari here)? Did that mean that WE were a lesser human? It's not a matter of status that you see that it is is the problem.

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Perhaps you should refrain from posting until you start using facts rather than broad generalizations? You have repeatedly made comments about the behavior of the majority of food stamp recipients in NM. In 2009, there were over 40,000 households in your state that received food stamp only assistance. I am curious as to how many of these families you personally know. It would have to be in the thousands fro you to be able to make accusations like that, but I am willing to wager you are basing those generalizations on a very small sample and through a very biased point of view.

 

No kilts yet, but I found this, one of my favorites:

 

WHITE BEAN CHICKEN CHILI

Ingredients

 

 

  • 2 tablespoons vegetable oil

  • 1 onion, chopped

  • 2 cloves garlic, minced

  • 1 (14.5 ounce) can chicken broth

  • 1 (18.75 ounce) can tomatillos, drained and chopped

  • 1 (16 ounce) can diced tomatoes

  • 1 (7 ounce) can diced green chiles

  • 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano

  • 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander seed

  • 1/4 teaspoon ground cumin

  • 2 ears fresh corn

  • 1 pound diced, cooked chicken meat

  • 1 (15 ounce) can white beans

  • 1 pinch salt and black pepper to taste

 

 

Directions

 

 

  1. Heat oil, and cook onion and garlic until soft.

  2. Stir in broth, tomatillos, tomatoes, chilies, and spices. Bring to a boil, then simmer for 10 minutes.

  3. Add corn, chicken, and beans; simmer 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

 

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Perhaps you should refrain from posting until you start using facts rather than broad generalizations? You have repeatedly made comments about the behavior of the majority of food stamp recipients in NM. In 2009, there were over 40,000 households in your state that received food stamp only assistance. I am curious as to how many of these families you personally know. It would have to be in the thousands fro you to be able to make accusations like that, but I am willing to wager you are basing those generalizations on a very small sample and through a very biased point of view.

 

Ummmm, I used to work in the system.

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Guest Dulcimeramy
I think other threads on topics like this often go this way...one gets question after question basically that is, "well then what do I/she/they do about this then? or that? or the other?, if I/she/they don't have FS or whatever aid they NEED?" and one find themselves trying to solve every problem the subject person has in their life...It's really interesting how that goes, IMO.

 

You are right. That is probably one of the many reasons we never get anywhere with these threads.

 

Individually and case-by-case, it is pretty hard to tell someone that they shouldn't feel entitled to a flat-screen TV and name brand sneakers and food stamps.

 

Generally speaking, though, it isn't sustainable for a nation to have so many people on government aid. Those receiving aid outnumber those paying taxes. It can't go on.

 

So when do we grow up and talk about the future of the nation? When do we stop childishly focusing on every mom and child's wants (especially about how everyone is entitled to some fun and luxury, even though half the nation is doing without either and not on aid) and start talking about how to teach the younger generation about frugality and responsibility?

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You are right. That is probably one of the many reasons we never get anywhere with these threads.

 

Individually and case-by-case, it is pretty hard to tell someone that they shouldn't feel entitled to a flat-screen TV and name brand sneakers and food stamps.

 

Generally speaking, though, it isn't sustainable for a nation to have so many people on government aid. Those receiving aid outnumber those paying taxes. It can't go on.

 

So when do we grow up and talk about the future of the nation? When do we stop childishly focusing on every mom and child's wants (especially about how everyone is entitled to some fun and luxury, even though half the nation is doing without either and not on aid) and start talking about how to teach the younger generation about frugality and responsibility?

 

Till the money REALLY runs out.

 

We've let Fed Govt. try to fix poverty for 50 years...$8 Trillion spent. What do we have?

 

$8 Trillion worth of poverty, and cities that look like they were detonated by nukes. It's sad, really.

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You are right. That is probably one of the many reasons we never get anywhere with these threads.

 

Individually and case-by-case, it is pretty hard to tell someone that they shouldn't feel entitled to a flat-screen TV and name brand sneakers and food stamps.

 

Generally speaking, though, it isn't sustainable for a nation to have so many people on government aid. Those receiving aid outnumber those paying taxes. It can't go on.

 

So when do we grow up and talk about the future of the nation? When do we stop childishly focusing on every mom and child's wants (especially about how everyone is entitled to some fun and luxury, even though half the nation is doing without either and not on aid) and start talking about how to teach the younger generation about frugality and responsibility?

 

:iagree:

Thank you so much! This topic is so hard to discuss which is why we always end up with these threads closed or deleted. It is hard to rise above the feelings, emotions and personal experiences to talk objectively about how to solve this problem.

Edited by Cheryl in NM
typo
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I don't think pop, candy, chips, cookies etc. should be able to be purchased with food stamps. I feel that they should be limited to dairy, meat, veggies, fruit and in my opinion whole grain breads.

okay- so spend 3-5 bucks on a loaf of whole grain bread?? can you honestly see someone on aid affording 5 bucks for a loaf of bread?? holy cow! we arent even on food stamps and we cant afford whole grain bread!! so I guess the dollar loaves of what we lovingly refer to as whole wheat bread that we buy would be deemed junk too????

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PP said that she has told her family what type of help she needs and they have refused. Why should high priced items be forced on her? If her family were really willing to help her they pay bills for her until she could get on her feet, not give her high priced items. It's not an entitlement thing. If her family gives her a wii AND helps pay the bills great. But what is it telling the kids that they can't pay bills but have a wii? This is were the sense of entitlement comes from. "We must have a wii to have fun with even though we can't afford our bills." Did you or I have a wii (insert Atari here)? Did that mean that WE were a lesser human? It's not a matter of status that you see that it is is the problem.

 

On the flip side of that, it is ludicrous to hold a child responsible for the finances of a household. A child who may not be receiving any other "luxuries" and is gifted some great gift by a friend or relative should say, "Sorry. My mom lost her job, so I deserve to have nothing until she can find a new one." Is that what you think is appropriate?

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Mom: I'm getting the kids a Wii for Christmas!

Me: That's kind of you, Mom, but Billy is desperate for shoes.

Mom: Well, I want him to have some fun like the other kids.

Me: Mom, I can't dictate the gifts you give to Billy, but I would sell the Wii for the necessities Billy really needs. That's just how it is because DH can't find work.

 

 

 

But heaven forbid you allow your mom to buy him a pair of Nikes, make sure she knows that if she buys him luxury shoes that they will be returned for a $12 pair of K-Mart sneakers! Poor people shouldn't accept such luxurious gifts. :banghead:

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okay- so spend 3-5 bucks on a loaf of whole grain bread?? can you honestly see someone on aid affording 5 bucks for a loaf of bread?? holy cow! we arent even on food stamps and we cant afford whole grain bread!! so I guess the dollar loaves of what we lovingly refer to as whole wheat bread that we buy would be deemed junk too????

 

 

we bake our own bread for about $0.90/loaf...lost 8 unwanted pounds just by making that switch alone...just sayin'.

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Generally speaking, though, it isn't sustainable for a nation to have so many people on government aid. Those receiving aid outnumber those paying taxes. It can't go on.

 

So when do we grow up and talk about the future of the nation? When do we stop childishly focusing on every mom and child's wants (especially about how everyone is entitled to some fun and luxury, even though half the nation is doing without either and not on aid) and start talking about how to teach the younger generation about frugality and responsibility?

 

This second paragraph is a huge jump.

 

The first paragraph leads me to ask if you are familiar with the percentage of the government budget food stamps is responsible for?

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That's not how the conversation went when my mother put her foot down, and not how it went when I had to deal with my MIL.

 

It goes like this:

 

Mom: I'm getting the kids a Wii for Christmas!

Me: That's kind of you, Mom, but Billy is desperate for shoes.

Mom: Well, I want him to have some fun like the other kids.

Me: Mom, I can't dictate the gifts you give to Billy, but I would sell the Wii for the necessities Billy really needs. That's just how it is because DH can't find work.

 

At that point, the relative decides to either get the Wii to be played with at her house because you are ungrateful, or gets mortally offended and cuts you out of their life for not pretending you are rich, or...

 

they wake up to the realities of poverty and spend the money on a pair of shoes and a skateboard, which are more in keeping with the kid's home life and actual needs.

I was referring to an after the fact thing.

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On the flip side of that, it is ludicrous to hold a child responsible for the finances of a household. A child who may not be receiving any other "luxuries" and is gifted some great gift by a friend or relative should say, "Sorry. My mom lost her job, so I deserve to have nothing until she can find a new one." Is that what you think is appropriate?

 

You made my point for me, thank you.

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we bake our own bread for about $0.90/loaf...lost 8 unwanted pounds just by making that switch alone...just sayin'.

 

The times that I have qualified for food stamps have corresponded with me (and/or my husband) having at least one, often 2 or more nearly minimum wage jobs.

 

I didn't have food stamps last term, but my days were consumed with jobs and school from 8 a.m. until 10 p.m. Monday through Thursday and I also worked Fridays and Saturdays.

 

Homemade bread was not a viable option.

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okay- so spend 3-5 bucks on a loaf of whole grain bread?? can you honestly see someone on aid affording 5 bucks for a loaf of bread?? holy cow! we arent even on food stamps and we cant afford whole grain bread!! so I guess the dollar loaves of what we lovingly refer to as whole wheat bread that we buy would be deemed junk too????

 

 

 

You could bake it for @ $1 a loaf.

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On the flip side of that, it is ludicrous to hold a child responsible for the finances of a household. A child who may not be receiving any other "luxuries" and is gifted some great gift by a friend or relative should say, "Sorry. My mom lost her job, so I deserve to have nothing until she can find a new one." Is that what you think is appropriate?

 

Yes, that is how our grand-parents and their parents, etc lived. Everyone in the family bears the burden. That is how children learn that there IS a burden to be born when a parent loses a job.

 

ETA: We have had to sell fun things that the kids enjoyed. We have also had to reduce and, one time, eliminate allowance. We explained why. As soon as finances looked up we increase or re-instated allowances and when we could afford it, bought a fun item. Our kids were part of the process, instead of being lead to believe that everything was fine even though we were about to lose our house and had already lost our vehicle.

Edited by Cheryl in NM
typo
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Yes, that is how our grand-parents and their parents, etc lived. Everyone is the family bears the burden. That is how children learn that there IS a burden to be born when a parent loses a job.

 

That's not how my grandparents & their parents lived. In my family, we believe in protecting children from the harsh realities of adult life. Every one of my grandparents would tell you that they grew up dirt poor, but not knowing it. Other family members sacrifice to provide for children in my family.

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1 c. milk

1/4 c. molasses

1 tbsp. butter

1/2c. warm water, 105-115 degrees

4 c. sifted all purpose flour

2 tbsp. milk for glaze

1 1/2 c. cold water

2 tbsp. light brown sugar

1 tbsp. salt

2 pkgs. active dry yeast

5 c. unsifted whole wheat flour

 

Bring milk and cold water to a boil in a small saucepan. Off heat, mix in molasses, sugar, butter and salt; cool to lukewarm. Place lukewarm water in a warm large mixing bowl and sprinkle in yeast. Stir cooled mixture into yeast, then beat in all purpose flour, 1 cup at a time. mix in whole wheat flour, 1 cup at a time. Place dough in a buttered large bowl, cover with cloth and let rise about 1 hour in a warm draft free place until doubled in bulk. Punch dough down and stir briefly (it will be stiff). Divide dough in half and pat firmly into 2 well greased 9"x5"x3" loaf pans, rounding tops a little; brush tops with milk to glaze. Cover and let rise about 45 minutes until almost doubled in bulk. When loaves are risen, preheat oven to 400 degrees. Bake 20 minutes, reduce oven to 375 degrees and bake 45 to 50 minutes longer or until richly browned and hollow sounding when tapped. Turn loaves out immediately and cool on wire racks.

Any more problems I need to solve?

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